by TheTimeTrust
The Svetlana Grande Hotel, Mandelovia:
"Monsieur Glover?" a French waiter said, holding a tray full of bottles and wine glasses while averting his eyes from the frolicking going on in the hot tub.
"Ya?" the four-foot-eleven-inch-tall Pete "the Chimp" Glover shouted as he took the former Miss America's foot and tried to tickle her enough to make her lose control of her laughing, while carefully tugging at the bikini string of the Playboy bunny next to him. The ex-wife of billionaire Terrence Holloway, feeling neglected, began blowing into his ear.
"Your... beer, Monsieur..."
"Sleeman's, ya twit! Some smart one you is. If I 'ad a face da likes a yers, me son, I'd walk backwards," Pete said as the girls tittered and giggled. He made rings with his finger at his temple as the French waiter waited. "Stun as me arse he is... now knock off!"
"Oui, Monsieur..." the waiter said, leaving the beer and the wine glasses on a tray by the hot tub.
Pete threw a thumb back to the retreating waiter, saying, "Buddy whasisname has a head hard as the knockers of Newgate." He laughed heartily at his own joke while the three ladies looked at each other, confused, and giggled politely.
"This is wrong, Pete."
"Eh? Whassat, boy? Who said 'at?"
"Nobody said anything, Petey," the Playboy bunny whispered as she ran her hands over his scrawny and hairy back.
"Could'a swore I heard..."
"You are using your gifts purely for your own selfish gain. Shame, shame..."
"Dere's somebuddy 'ere!"
"There's nobody here but us, sweetie," the former Miss America said as she began sucking on his gnarly big toe at the end of one of his unusually large feet at the end of very puny legs.
"Your good fortune and powers over the laws of probability give you a responsibility to help all of mankind!"
"AAAHHHHHHH!!!" Pete shouted as he jumped out of the hot tub, wearing nothing but Speedos. "Geddafuckawayfromee!"
"What's wrong, Petey?" the ex-wife of the billionaire said, concerned.
The window shattered at that moment as several bullets whizzed by him. The three ladies ducked into the hot tub as Pete leapt behind a table.
The door broke down just then. "EVERYBODY DOWN! NOW!"
This new figure ran into the room and over to the window and fired three shots into the air, then ran over to the cowering Petey and picked him up, throwing him over his shoulder as he ran out of the room.
"I guess that's the end of the party," the Playboy bunny complained as she crossed her arms and pouted just the way Hef taught her to.