by Happy Noodle Boy, Shock Headed Peter, FlashXIII, DarkKnight007, JTFree, Smasher, Kristogar Velo and Nuriko
Hardy New-Born called everyone back to the MBL Headquarters for a meeting.
HNB: "This is getting really screwy, everyone. There's flying gerbils, weird gooey aliens, and evidence linking Johnny and some IBG members to some Armageddon plot involving time travel... Smasher's MIA... and we have some new recruits."
Disco Stave: "Well, I know I'M confused."
HNB: "We have to work out what's going on, and we have to work it out now. Some of our members just barely escaped from a kamikaze gerbil attack."
A voice from behind HNB said, "Hey, Rhymer. Long time no see."
HNB turned around. "Worm! Hey, good to see you! Where you been?"
The Worm: "Long story. And I've been hearing things about a name change. What's going on there?"
HNB: "I'm Hardy New-Born now, Grow Worm. Rhyme Guardian is gone."
The Worm: "Oh... okay, then. As I told Velo, I've also had a name change with the loss of my powers. It's just the Worm, paranormal investigator, at your service."
HNB: "Glad to have you back. Anyway, we need to get to work on this case right away!
"Will we solve all this crime?
Do we have nearly enough time?
A secret government installation in Minnesota:
One operative met another operative in the hallway. He said, "Hey, Bill. You doing all right?"
Bill replied, "Yeah, real good, Steve."
Steve: "Taking a break from covering stuff up?"
Bill: "Yeah. I was just suppressing information about time travel."
Steve: "Why are we making that a secret?"
Bill: "Well, you see, if everyone could time travel all around, then they would change events in history, leave litter in the past, and have sex with their great grand-uncles. Eventually, reality would be so inbred it would be like a drooling country cousin."
Steve: "Wow. So I guess lots of weird shit would start happening if someone did mess about with time."
Bill: "You betcha."
Steve: "That was a really heavy-handed plot exposition, Bill."
"Just doing my job."
Bill then turned into a salmon. Steve screamed and imploded.
In the MBL Headquarters gym, three applicants stood before the team, which allowed the recruitment drive to continue simply because it needed as much firepower as it could get at this critical time.
Fleetfoot: "I would like to join up as well, please."
HNB: "Fleetfoot, tell us about your origin, powers, and your arch-nemesis."
Fleetfoot: "Okay, here goes... I am Fleetfoot, gifted with the power to hurl sarcastic comments, double entendre, and attitude faster than any mere mortal. Blessed with a quick wit, devilish good looks, and a laptop, our hero, however, is cursed with the inability to type quickly.
"Origin? Mild-mannered, God-fearing, and book-loving -- NOT Biblically, no pun intended -- the boy who would become Fleetfoot was taunted and teased by other boys... and girls... and the elderly... until, by act of God, he was given his abilities, or maybe he just wanted to keep his lunch money. His powers were shown to the world when he assaulted the neighborhood bully with taunts and teases that left that bully with with tear-stained eyes and wet pants.
"Fleetfoot is currently based in Plymouth, Massachusetts, battling the forces of his nemesis, StupidCustomerMan, whose minions plague mall workers everywhere. How's that?"
Marv Velo: "It's fine, Fleetfoot, but please stop referring to yourself in the third person from now on."
Fleetfoot: "M'kay."
Dragnet Zero: "I am thoroughly intrigued by your adventures. I would like to join the MBL. My powers and abilities are to come up with sarcastic comments to lighten tension, to remember every little detail about the stuff that doesn't matter, to be the team's designated brooder, and to draw portraits of all the MBL members.
"My origin: One night, my parents and I were walking home after a good day at art school, when a superstitious and cowardly man shuffled out of the shadows. He was holding something very dangerous. The mysterious man approached; it was the guy from the bank who approved my student loans! He said, 'THIS is how much you and your son owe!' My parents died of shock, and I sat there before their bodies lying on the Manhattan sidewalk. I made a decision that would give my life purpose: no one would ever suffer the personal and monetary loss that I have, as soon as I figure out how.
"My archnemeses? The schools that charge waaaaay too much for a bad education, and the banks that support them... and anyone who would dare attack... the Meta Board League!"
Disco Stave: "Great to have you here, Dragnet. We've wanted to recruit you for awhile now."
J.T. Free, a returning applicant, told the team, "Okay, I think I'm ready to join. Origin and powers: Abandoned at birth and raised by wild ducks, I have webbed feet and have to fly south for the winter. Arch-nemesis: Bradford the Boring, who has blanketed my city in perpetual dullness."
"Thank you, J.T.," said Hardy New-Born. "Now, please excuse us while we review your applications."
At that, the MBL leader and the rest of the team went into the other room. Only Beer-Drinking Lad, the team mascot, was left to watch over the new recruits.
The Lad, now very drunk after being told to start drinking hours earlier, hiccuped and said, "Any'a youse like shports?"
After a few moments in private deliberation, the MBL returned to the gym, where they had left the applicants.
Hardy New-Born: "It seems we've increased our membership even more. Welcome to the team, Fleetfoot, Dragnet Zero, and J.T. Free! This brings us up to seventeen active members."
J.T. Free: "Thanks, New-Born. I'll be all I can be."
Marv Velo: "Seventeen members? Jeez, and I remember a time not too long ago when a recruitment drive attracted only three people, and an MBL case was having trouble getting more than a few members participating. Things are certainly looking up for our little group here. Onward! Hey, we should have some sort of battle cry..."
Natsuko: "Battle cry? 'Till the end!' sounds good, if vague. Or we could try 'Evil sucks!' Can we say 'sucks' here?"
HNB: "Okay, now can anyone tell me what the hell our situation is now?!"
A cold breeze filled the open gym. Darkness filled the room, followed by a bright light, and then there were only two. One was Hardy New-Born, and the other was a stranger, a stranger known only as Prometheus X.
HNB: "Wow, I'll never get used to that... Um... Where are we, and where is everyone else?"
Prometheus X: "We are in a time between time, a place without reason. Right now nothing is real, but nothing is fake. All answers are beyond normal reason."
HNB: "Yeah, that's just what I was gonna guess."
Prometheus X: "There has been a disturbance in the fabric of time. Someone has passed reality into the never-realm. One friend will turn foe, but not by his hand. A member that has left must be found. Two hold the key to defeat, while the six Meta Board Leaguers will be gathered, but for victory or something else... sinister? The Infamous Bedlam Gang will reform but not by their will. It has been awakened and has made a pact with people not from this world. A pact must be formed with a villain, and two teams shall become one to forge a new future... in the wake of destruction.
"You have heard my warning, and for now, I must leave. I wish you luck... and you will see me before the end..."
There was a flash of a bright light, and Hardy New-Born was back in the headquarters with the team.
Agent F7: "Wow... Rhymer, where did you just go for a few seconds, there?"
HNB: "I... this is much bigger than we thought!"