by I'm Not Mister Mxypltk
How wonderful these beings are, thought the happy long-haired man walking down the street with light in his eyes. I thought cows were the best in this place. I thought I was fixing them by turning them into cows, but I was wrong. And these bodies... he thought, as he started jumping around, ...these bodies are perfect! Additions like this "coat" make them even better! Ooooh! I must get one of those things they put on their heads!
He walked into a department store and started looking for a hat. One of the saleswomen saw him and asked him, "Can I help you?"
"WHOA!" he shouted when he saw her. "Your body is way better than mine! Where did you get those? I've seen other people wearing them, but yours are perfect!"
"I-I'm sorry...?!"
"And your face! It's so... is there a word for it? Do you have one?"
"I..." she said, blushing.
"God, I love this place! You asked me if you could help, and it would rude if I ignored that question, wouldn't I? The truth is, you can help me. I am looking for one of those things you people put on your head. Do you have those?"
The woman stared at him for a second. Only now she noticed the light coming out his eyes. She did not have anything against against metas -- one of her uncles was one -- but this guy made her nervous. And, at the same time, gave her a good feeling.
"I-If you are looking for a hat..."
"Hat! What a wonderful word that is! HAT!"
"...we, uh, have some... I could show you, if you follow me."
"That's the only condition? Following you? I'm happy to, then!"
As they started walking, the manager noticed the long-haired happy man with light in his eyes and said, "Is Shirley attending a meta again? I'm gonna have to talk to her about that."
"Oh, you know how she is..." a large saleswoman said, "...she's probably too shy to tell him to get lost!"
Shirley started showing him several hats, nervously. "Well, we have--"
"I want that one!" he shouted, pointing at a large top hat.
"A top hat? Okay, that one costs thirty-five dollars."
"Sure," he said as he put on the hat. "How does it look on me?"
"Uh... g-good."
"All right! Do you have a... ummm, this is hard to explain... like a window, but..." She handed him a mirror. "Wow... you read my mind," he said, smiling. She shyly smiled back. "Well, I thank you for your help, but I'm afraid I have to leave now. What do they call you, by the way?"
"Uh, Shirley... you are still gonna...?"
"Shirley! Ah! Shirley! So that's how they call things that give you pleasure when you look at them here! My name is M'xy. It's been a pleasure, Shirley. Goodbye." He kissed her on her forehead and left. She was completely hypnotized.
As he left, he heard the manager shouting, "SHIRLEY! COME HERE!"
Then he thought again about how wonderful these human beings were, and he saw a woman walking by. As he appreciated her body, her head blew up.
"NOOOOOOO!" he shouted. "Why? Why destroy something as--"
Another head exploded.
"NO--"
And another one blew up, and another one.
He looked to his right and noticed dozens of heads were exploding in that direction. Standing in the middle of the blood shower was a man dressed in black pants and a black shirt. He had never seen him before, but he recognized him immediately. It was K'tl, his other half.
He started running to the killer, screaming his name. "Fool!" the killer shouted. "Don't you realize we will cancel each other out?" He ignored him and kept running. The light in his eyes got brighter and started surrounding him like an aura. "FOOL!" K'tl shouted as he got closer.
As soon as M'xy's aura touched K'tl, the killer was sent flying twenty feet away, and M'xy immediately stopped running to avoid touching him. As K'tl lay unconscious on the blood-covered street, M'xy cursed him. He was now gone, but this was only temporary. He would be back soon.
Now that the blood shower had stopped, he could see the dead bodies everywhere. He thought about fixing the mutilated bodies, but soon he realized he could not recover their souls. He decided to disappear in case the local authorities showed up.