by Jester Joker
I love the feeling of opening the door to a new apartment. Or I imagine I would love it, were it not for the guy who almost knocks me down as he rushes past the open door. I'm not even past the threshold, and he's already opened all the cupboard doors in the kitchen.
"Hey! All these things are empty!"
I roll my eyes. "Why wouldn't they be? We haven't moved in yet."
"Race you to the bedrooms!" I let him run. Even if I wasn't the mature one, I couldn't outrun him. He is Will Du, faster than any man or woman I'll ever know, and equally as annoying.
It wasn't my idea to room with him. In fact, my idea was that he was the second best person to room with, and everybody else in the world was tied for first. But the big guys determined that we both needed a place to carry out our missions, and one apartment costs less than two, so here we are.
Barely two steps later, and Will's already back to torment me some more. "So counting us, this city has to have like a million people living in it."
"Two point two million," I answer without thinking.
"Bitch, you pulled that out of your ass."
"Don't call me bitch, Will," I say. I'd be angry, only I know that he has no idea how to seriously talk to a woman like me, having had so little human female contact since breastfeeding. "I got it from the last census."
"Don't call me Will, and I won't call you bitch." He actually looks at me quietly for a second and I know what he wants me to say. I can't help but roll my eyes again.
"Oh, SNAP!" I say with exaggerated enthusiasm. He reacts with way too much glee.
"Ha ha, Burn!" he says. "I'll see if you're right."
He's out to count how many people are in the city. I'm not making that up. I sit down on the couch, exhausted from just mere minutes of casual conversation with Will Du. I glance around at the apartment. It looks much nicer when it's empty.