by Smasher, Mr. Nowhereman, The Time Trust, doff, Nowhereman
Smasher was searching for his teammates. He heard that Hardy New-Born was missing and that Nowhereman was in charge. But even though he considered Nowhereman a friend, Smasher couldn't believe that the Rhymer would let that dumbass be in charge. Smasher also heard a voice in the back of his head.
"Geez, I knew that my teammates didn't always look like the best guys around, but... now they just look like idiots. Not to mention that they should know that Kid Bucket is dead. We're in trouble."
It sounded somewhat like Marv Velo.
Smasher paused and looked all around. "Velo! You here? I wonder who that was? I wonder why he thought Kid Bucket was dead? I just left little Ritchie with him. Hmm... Hey, Velo called us idiots! That little bastard can find himself! I'm gonna go find myself a nice bar and drink a hell of a lot o' beer..."
A distinguished older-looking man appeared in the MBL Headquarters.
"Hi, I'm Mr. Nowhereman! I used to lead the Mysterymen Board Society during World War II, and I'm currently reactivating that team so we can have a yearly team-up! Oh, and a word of advice: Nowhereman is not the idiot he seems, so be careful!"
He left the way he came in.
Meanwhile, Time Trustee Tempus and Starwynd arrived in ancient Greece, circa 1200 B.C.
Tempus: "You said we're looking for a girl on a bull, right?"
Starwynd: "Europa, yes -- Hey, isn't that her over there?"
Tempus: "Hmm... What a coincidence that we just happened to have arrived at the exact place and time to find her! Just sit this one out, okay, Trivia Lad? I'll do the talking."
Time Trustee Tempus walked up to Europa. "Hey, baby, what's a nice girl like you hanging out in a place like this?"
Starwynd: "Oh, brother..."
Tempus: "So why don't you ditch that big bull you're sitting on, and come with us?"
Starwynd: "Hmm. There WAS something about the bull that I can't seem to remember..."
Tempus: "No problem. I'll look it up in my internal memory banks, in which is stored the entire World Book, 1980 edition."
Meanwhile, Europa hopped off of the bull, and the bull began to change shape, becoming larger and more man-like.
Tempus: "Scanning... scanning... Oh, it says the bull was actually the god Zeus in animal form..."
Now the fifty-foot-tall figure of Zeus stood before them.
Starwynd: "I think we're in trouble..."
Meanwhile, in the year 2000, the remaining MBL members were attacked by the League of Antiheroes.
Battling Beer-Drinking Lad was the sober Teetotaler. Fighting the Caped Cadet was the militaristic Armed Force. At war with Natsuko was the immortal Black Death. Jousting with Nowhereman was the wily Everywhere Man. And finally, combatting Monopoly Guy was the evil IRS Collection Agent.
Doff, the lost boy, walked up to the battling MBL. "Excuse me, Nowhereman, I'm just responding to your ad in the Hero Gazette reading 'punch bag required,' and I was wondering if the position was still open."
Ignored by the battling League, Doff tried again. "If you're busy, I can come back."
The twisted remains of the Armed Force landed next to him. "Ooh, is your leg supposed to bend that way? I wonder if the MBL is still recruiting."
Nowhereman: "Don't just stand there -- fight, you fool!"
Doff: "Okay, but there's no need for name-calling!"
Nowhereman's personality was noticably changing to dark and edgy.