by Monopoly guy, Fahrenheit 451, Jonah'sWhale, Disco Steve, Nowhereman and Zod
Hardy New-Born, Dragnet Zero, Flintlock, Jonah's Whale, Zed, Marv Velo, J.T. Free, Beer-Drinking Lad, Little Ritchie, Nowhereman, Disco Stave, and Money-Grubber arrived at the airport.
Money-Grubber: "C'mon, we'll take my private plane."
Dragnet Zero: "The Moneyplane?"
Money-Grubber: "No, that's my helicopter. My plane is called the Moneymobile."
Dragnet Zero: "But..."
Money-Grubber: "Yeah, there was an administrative fuck up. Someone sent a wrong fax, Tokyo couldn't read it, yadda yadda yadda..."
Dragnet Zero: "Where can we land in Hawaii?"
Money-Grubber: "I've got a small island off the coast, tiny research facility on it. I'll put the Moneymobile in my underground storage area, and then we'll take the Moneyerang to Hawaii."
Dragnet Zero: "The Moneyerang's a boat, right?"
Money-Grubber: "Mm-hmm."
So they all hopped into the Moneymobile and took off for Hawaii.
Everything was fine until they noticed that there was no fuel in the plane.
Money-Grubber said to Dragnet Zero, "I thought you said you put gas in the plane!"
Dragnet Zero: "No, I asked, 'Put gas in the plane?'"
Money-Grubber: "No, you said, 'Put gas in the plane.'"
Flintlock: "Well, the problem is there is no gas."
Money-Grubber: "We will have to make an emergency landing."
The plane crash-landed in a corn field in Iowa.
Flintlock: "So what do we do now?"
Jonah's Whale: "Iowa? We're in Iowa?!"
Disco Stave: "Iowa! Crap! Couldn't some alien invasion happen instead?"
Nowhereman woke up. "Whoa, Hawaii sure looks crap. Where's all the breasts?"
WHACK!
Nowhereman was returned to his unconscious state.
J.T. Free woke up. "Whoa, Hawaii, sure looks crap..." You get the picture.
Zed: "OH, MOST UNHOLY SON OF A BACKWARDS GOD!"
Disco Stave: "Uhhh... What's wrong with you?"
Zed: "I'm FROM Iowa!"
Disco Stave: "I thought you were from some alternate universe?"
"I thought he was from outer space!" said Nowhereman, rubbing his bruised head.
Zed: "I'm from an alternate Iowa. I just work in outer space."
J.T. Free: "So what's so bad about Iowa? Besides the obvious?"
Zed: "Well, you see, the problem is my old hometown, Marshalltown. It is built over a portal to Hell, I swear. It is the most depressing and diseased place in the country!"
Just then, Money-Grubber shouted, "Hey guys! Dragnet Zero just hot-wired some farmer's truck. Who wants to go on a gas run? There's a small burg by the name of Marshalltown just a few miles away."
The others looked on as Zed cringed in fear and fell to the ground in the fetal position.
Beer-Drinking Lad: "Hey, I'll drive!"
Maybe I should just get a job instead, Marv Velo thought to himself.
Dragnet Zero: "IOWA! SHIT! Lad, why don't you sit this one out? I'll drive... Oh, wait. I don't have a license yet. Marv Velo, Zed, Jonah's Whale? Anyone but the Lad wanna help me out here? I want to live."
Flintlock: "Hey, I have a license, although it is a Minnesota one. Do you accept those here?"
Jonah's Whale: "Minnesota, Iowa... what's the difference?"
Flintlock: "Well, the main thing that differs..."
Jonah's Whale: "Never mind. Don't we have anybody who flies on this team? Besides me, I mean?"
Nowhereman: "I GOTTA HAVE BREASTS! WHERE ARE MY BREASTS?!"
Zed: "I don't want to go on vacation anymore."
Flintlock said to Nowhereman, "You want your what? Anyway, let's get going."
Jonah's Whale muttered to no one in particular, "You know... this is more stressful than fighting Forrest or keeping up with that Boull invasion."
Forgetful Lad, passing by in a one-panel cameo, yelled, "Lookit them outfits! Bet they're tourists!"
Nowhereman: "Hey, I could summon my Nowheremobile by remote control if anyone's interested! A few of us could go on to Hawaii to... er... like, check things out!" Secretly he thought, Yeah, check out some foxy mamas.
Disco Stave was the first to volunteer. "OOHH! ME! ME!"