by Chewy Walrus, Franta, LLANCE, Jonah'sWhale, Greenlantern1011 and Starwynd, the Trivia Lad
Chewy Walrus: Attention DC Message Boarders! This is Chewy Walrus, leader of the Message Boards newest team, TOMB - Timeline Orderkeepers of the Message Boards. We are reopening the infamous 'no' post of Y2K fame, believing that it has trapped some of our members, including one of TOMB's own, in the year 1900. This post opens a gateway in time. Be forewarned. You are entering TOMB territory. Take your directions from myself, Franta, Jonah'sWhale (currently disappearing), HourGirl, and the team rookie, Lance. This is Chewy Walrus, signing off. Course set for 1900. Engage.
Oh, yeah... almost forgot...
TOMB ROLL CALL
Chewy Walrus - team leader
Franta - second-in-command. Keeper of the Cosmic Treadmill.
Jonah'sWhale - fading from our space-time continuum... whatever the heck that is...
HourGirl - trapped in 1900, and generally screwing the future over... literally...
Lance - team rookie. Has yet to prove his worth.
Franta: hmmm I thought if I posted here I would be transported...NO such luck...
if we get this to 1000 posts though...
Lance: I see numbered rainbow colors appearing all about me...I'm spinning... and spinning...and spinning. No, I am not doing drugs! I am undertaking my first time trip ever! I see others all about me. They are gesturing me towards a red circle of light with the number 1900 plastered all about! Excuse me while I try to make my way over!
Will the rookie member of TOMB make his way to the red circle of light?
Will he land safely in 1900?
Will he and his fellow members of TOMB rescue their lost teammate?
Tune in at the same bat-post, at the same bat-time to find out!
------once over and twice twisted------------
Chewy Walrus: I'm swirling as well, Lance! This is exhilirating! I just hope that we're not to late to stop HourGirl from messing up our time stream! Here we go!
Jonah'sWhale: Frant - curse you and your 1000 posts!! If we get 1000 posts, we all disappear and the Message Board universe no longer can exist. Trust me.
So...with what's left of me...I'm ready to go back in time so i don't fade away any more.
Lance: Still haven't landed yet in 1900. (boy, this time travel thing certainly takes a long time! I always thought it was instataneous!)Jonah'sWhale, I'm confident we'll hit a thosand posts! Uh... we are in the double digits ...aren't we?
Lance
still swirling in the space-time continuim
TOMB rookie member
Lance: Boy. I must really be dizzy from all of this swirling! I neglected to put in my infamous tag line on my last post! Since I'm here can I ask a question? After the completion of our successful mission can we all stop somewhere in the mid 1960's? I really really really want to see that BATMAN episode where he meets THE GREEN HORNET!
Lance
TOMB rookie member
------once over and twice twisted------------
Grynterne, Matter-Beamer 1011: TOMB seems cool, if you guys are ever going to recruit, let me know! My name is Grynterne, and I am member number 1011 of the Matter-Beam Corps. Thanks.
Jonah'sWhale: Grynterne 1011, I think i can speak for us all when I say jump on board. We are about to land 100 years in the past.
He Who Is: Why dont you just use a time car, or a time watch?
Lance: Tomb rookie member, Lance, reporting to TOMB leader, Chewy Walrus. I have landed safely in the year 1900. Upon my arrival I saw a hooded, robed figure fleeing the scene. Said figure's decription matched that of one well known felon that goes by the moniker, The Time Trickster. Said felon was seen fleeing a very big(when I say big I really mean BIG!!!! ) pile of assorted gadgets, doohickeys, and what-nots. Upon closer examination, I discovered various misplaced items belonging to metahero, as well as metavillain. I have begun the long and tedious task of preparing an alphabetical list of all items, keeping a close eye open for any clues. Please send help as this inventory may take even a rookie of TOMB a hundred years to separate and list by himself!
The first item listed is Measure-Man's size-control belt.
Lance
TOMB rookie member
-------once over and twice twisted-----------
The second item was the lifeless body of a Time Trust Talos! (One item per post if we're to hit a thousand posts).
Lance
TOMB rookie member
---------once over and twice twisted---------
The third item was a girdle worn by Queen Penthesilia (sp?). There was a note attached and it read: Not my size- Jonah W.
Chewy walrus, do you suppose this could be an important clue?
Lance
TOMB rookie member
--------Once over and twice twisted----------
HourGirl: (eyeing the newest young memeber of the time loop. She smoothes down her hair....tucks in her hourglass....and bats her eyes as she approaches Lance.........)
I dunno, maybe she IS outta control!
"The Girl"
Lance: Chewy Walrus! Chewy Walrus! I'm being eyed by some girl! What should I do? OH...That's Hourgirl! I hope she doesn't plan on involving me in any attempts to screw over the future...literally. Then again... the way she bats those eyes...and that hourslass! Chewy Walrus, I may not be responsible for anything that happens from here on in!
Hourslass! What's an hourslass? I must have met hourglass! See what Hourgirl is doing to me? I even forgot my tagline.
Lance
TOMB rookie member
-------once over and twice twisted-----------
Jonah'sWhale: Lance, HourGirl has you all flustered. Leave her alone...we're here to rescue her, not to fall in love with her or succomb to her...(JW sees HG)...beauty...pouting lips, batting eyes...hourglass...hourglass...hourglass...
Suddenly, the nausea JW felt form the time traveling gave way. All he knew now was the pounding of his heart.
JW: HourGirl, leave grandpa!! TAKE ME!!!
Suddenly, out of nowhere pops Grynterne, Matter-Beamer 1011! He has brought his close friends Matter-Beamers 1012-1015, Matter-Beamers 1017-1019, and Matter-Beamers 1021-1025!
"What happened to Matter-Beamers 1016 and 1020?" asks Lance innocently.
"Well," replies Grynterne, Matter-Beamer 1011, "One looks like Zed and the other looks like Heldane Reytzen. We were divided amongst us who should come!"
"No! No! No! A thousand times NO!" screams Hourgirl! "I cannot go thru this debate again!
Lance
TOMB rookie member
------once over and twice twisted------------
"Matter-Beamer 1016!" I scream!
"Matter-Beamer 1020!" Jonah"swhale insists!
"She mine!" screams Granpa!
A batch of Matter-Beamers of assorted numbers look ready to pounce upon granpa in an attempt to win the favor of Hourgirl.
"Obi Won Kinobi...eh... I mean Chewy Walrus. Help us in our time of need! Send Franta! Besides, noone is listing all this cool stuff in this big ( and I mean really BIG pile).
Disk bomb owned by Doctor Dusk.
Lance: Birdarang from Sparrow, herself!
Franta: JUMPING JEHOSAFAT!
This is worse tham I thought!
The time anamoly is turning the message boards into a "Chat Line".
Franta: GOOD HEAVENS Chewy!
Now see what you've done!
By creating another "no" topic you have created a redundant timeline!
Franta: GOOD HEAVENS Chewy!
Now see what you've done!
By creating another "no" topic you have created a redundant timeline!
Franta: GOOD HEAVENS Chewy!
Now see what you've done!
By creating another "no" topic you have created a redundant timeline!
Franta: GOOD HEAVENS Chewy!
Now see what you've done!
By creating another "no" topic you have created a redundant timeline!
Franta: GOOD HEAVENS Chewy!
Now see what you've done!
By creating another "no" topic you have created a redundant timeline!
Franta: GOOD HEAVENS Chewy!
Now see what you've done!
By creating another "no" topic you have created a redundant timeline!
Franta: GOOD HEAVENS Chewy!
Now see what you've done!
By creating another "no" topic you have created a redundant timeline!
Franta: GOOD HEAVENS Chewy!
Now see what you've done!
By creating another "no" topic you have created a redundant timeline!
Franta: GOOD HEAVENS Chewy!
Now see what you've done!
By creating another "no" topic you have created a redundant timeline!
Franta: GOOD HEAVENS Chewy!
Now see what you've done!
By creating another "no" topic you have created a redundant timeline!
Starwynd, the Trivia Lad: One? You have recreated the Multiverse, Mr. Franta.
And that's the Trout's chariot.
Starwynd, the Trivia Lad: Doc Quantum's volt-gun.
Jonah'sWhale: JW: Why won't you love me, Hourgirl?
Hourgirl: You're only half a man, JW.
JW: I can turn into a full man again if you make Grandpa stop loving you. If we take you forward in time with us without resolving this problem, I no longer exist. I hate time travel.
Lance: There is now a big (and I mean really BIG) pile of assorted Matter-Beamers lying off to the side. Apparently, they didn't see the big ( and I mean really BIG) yellow baseball bat behind granpa,s back!
Hourgirl bats her eyes uncontrolably at granpa!
Lance
TOMB rookie member
------Once over and twice twisted------------
(HourGirl holds up her hand in the "stop"
gesture.....grits her teeth...looks at all her "boys" and grimaces...........)
"Boys! Something HORRIBLY UNacceptable has just happened. This has gone on LONG enough, I will no longer tolerate such loss!"
(looks at the back of her right hand and tears up.........)
"I've broken a nail! Anyone know where I can find a good manicurist around here?"
(She saunters off leaving a pile of Matter-Beamers, a drooling grandpa, a love-struck Jonah's Whale, and a stunnned (by her beauty of course) Lance. Mumbles something under her breath about Chewy walrus, franta and an alternative time-line.)
"The Girl"
Lance: THE END
GOOD NIGHT
GOD BLESS US ONE AND ALL
Lance
TOMB rookie member
Continued in Chapter 5