by Jonah'sWhale, Chewy Walrus, Doc Franta, LLANCE, Big Boss Tweed, HourGirl and Franta
Lance: What do you mean you lost the plans for the homemade hydrogen bombs?!
JW: Well, the time stream was so messed up, when we all got back...I don't know, it was just something I overlooked.
Chewy: That's that. We must secure those plans before they fall into the wrong hands. can you imagine what SHP would do with them? Here's the situation, folks...TOMB may be the last defense the world has to assure its place in tomorrow. We've got internal problems of our own with several Docs, a past version of HNB and an orgy everytime I turn my back. Regardless, we must into the time stream once again to save the world. Let's go.
HNB: Uhm...I had plans for a subatomic molecular McFarlane bomb, more powerful and destructive than anything else in existence. This bomb has the potential to not only destroy the world, but the entire universe. No one is safe.
Chewy: And?
HNB: I think they're in the time stream too.
Chewy: ...
Chewy Walrus: It's always something like this, isn't it. All right, lady and "gentlemen" (and I use the term loosely [especially around you guys]), the vacations off! The party's over. Teddy and the Rough Riders will have to wait 'till our Morrison-esque "battle-a-minute" schedule lets up a little. Docs, get outta here. You've had your orders. HOP TO IT!! Franta, I was in no corner. There was no corner. I was at the time departure station en route to the early 1900's. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it! Jonah, your irresponsibilty astounds me. I don't think I trust you with "The Girl" anymore. Lance, you now have sole "girl" duty. Jonah, you, HNB, and Rhyme Guardian go after the bombs in the time stream. We'll worry about why and how Rhyme Guardian's here after this whole thing is over. Hourgirl, go check the future for... umm... any "repurcussions" of our battle. Lance, you're going to help out my new executive assisstant, "Boss" Tweed. He outranks all of you but me. Deal with it. I've decided that I need a vacation after all. 'Till I get back, you answer to Tweed. He's a rookie, yes, but he's a good man. Good as me. So, don't act up. Tweed'll keep me posted. Peace out, fellow TOMB-ers.
Chewy Walrus: Yeah, I'm Tweed. Chewy sent me?
Chewy Walrus: That's what he'll say so you know it's him. Be prepared. I don't know when he's sowing up, so keep on your toes. Now, if you'll excuse me, The Rough Riders await! Chewy out!
Jonah'sWhale: uhm...remember what happened last time HourGirl was on her own? I mean...it killed grandpa and all...and I was just thinking.
Lance: Shut up, JW.
okay.
Doc Franta: GOOD HEAVENS!
We're all developing multiple personalities!
Doc Franta: The SMEG we are!
Doc Franta: GREAT SCOTT!
We're all losing our senses!
Jonah'sWhale: We have senses?
Lance: Drop off the face of the earth for a couple of days (or the message boards) and everything goes to heck (I can't believe I just said "heck")!
Let's recap: One lost hydrogen bomb (that can be put on the back burner), keeping JW and Hourgirl apart (well, that really depends on "the girl"), Bringing all the Doc Frantas together ( we've all seen it done in comic books), and returning all past selves to their proper time periods (no problem for TOMB).
The only thing to do is...wait. Wait... for a big explosion or "the girl" to sauter in or do triplicate merging on Doc or go time tripping with misplaced souls!
Doo dum... doo dum... ho de ho...
I'm no good at waiting! Go play GO ASK BEPPO! Come back here and see if our competent and illustious second in command gives us some orders!
------once over and very long-winded---------
Big Boss Tweed: "Yeah, I'm Tweed. Chewy sent me?" That's what Chewy told me to say, so don't get mad at me, k? All right, gentlemen (and lady), I assume you all know the direness of our situation. I'm here to accomplish four objectives.
1.) Find those lost bombs in the time stream.
2.) Keep Jonah'sWhale and HourGirl separated.
3.) Rejoin Docs One, Two and Three, and...
4.) Find out what to do with Rhyme Guardian.
My suggestion is that we tackle these obstacles one at a time. First, I'm going to send a special task force led by Franta into the time stream to locate and retrieve those bombs. The squadron will consist of:
Jonah'sWhale
Doc Franta #1
Hardy New-Born
Thus, not only have we completed our first objective, but our second one as well. Meanwhile, I want Lance, Rhyme Guardian and Doc Franta #2 to start work on a merging device (similar to the ones that AOL and Time Warner used in their recent merge). Hopefully, in doing so, we can come up with a way to combine the Docs.
And, lastly, Hourgirl, I want you to go into the future and find out any consequences/reperrcussions of our little endevours. (This one was Chewy's idea, which he suggested to me. I can't take credit for it.)
Well, soldiers, you have your respective orders! DISMISSED!
HourGirl: Ok boys..there are PLENTY of reprecussions...
however, I'm too broken hearted over being seperated from my one true love to really take careful notes.... I mean Lance here has been a real pal. He hugs me alot and strokes my hair and whispers in myu ear that it will all be ok....
Lance? Um.... uh....mmmmmmmmmmmm Oh..Oh my.... OH UM...MMMMMMMMMMMMM......
"The Girl"
Meanwhile, JW shakes in a fit. The separation has thrown him into withdrawal convulsions. Will TOMB and the world be doomed because of a broken heart? Does the world end with Jonah's true love?
Big Boss Tweed: Since when has the world been shattered by a broken heart, Jonah'sWhale? It never has, nor will it ever. HourGirl. Have you no shame? Abscence makes the heart grow fonder, Girl. However, just because you can't be with the one you love does NOT give you the right to "love the one you're with". I run a tight ship. A clean ship. "'Ho's" have no place on that ship. Therefore, you can either pull yourself together or resign. No one would hate that more than myself (except maybe Jonah'sWhale), but I'm afraid that it's the only way. I wish it didn't have to be as such. My apologizes, Girl.
However, thank you all for the fruit basket you sent me. It was a great welcome. I would especially like to thank Hardy New-Born for the box of Rigatoni. It was a nice touch. Have a nice day, all!
Suddenly, JW pulls into a fetal position, unable to function without his love. His strong desire to be with the one girl who set his heart on fire in more than any soul can handle.
To his amazement, he disappears slowly, fading from sight. Doc 1 and HNB stand in horror watching as there is nothing they can do.
As JW fades away completely, they realize that without him, they may never be able to find the bomb plans. The world is in Jeopardy.
Five feet in front of an equally crushed (Shyea, uh huh!) HourGirl, JW appears, true love prevails over time and space.
The two embrace, leaving Lance to shield his eyes from the sparks and passion that set the night on fire.
2 minutes later (sorry ), as a trio, they set out to locate the lost plans.
Big Boss Tweed: Geez... Chewy was right about this "Young Heroes in Love" crap...
HourGirl: Holding tightly to JW's hand and winking at Lance.... the threesome scours the city, overturning EVERYTHING in search of those plans....
"Oh Jonah! My LOVE! NEVER, EVER allow then to do this to us again!"
(sighs, safe in the arms of her true love...or NOW love! )
"THE GIRL"
Doc Franta: But baby its nothing like my OWN personal threesome...heh heh!
Doc Franta: <varuious gagging and upchucking noises>
Doc Franta: Ah c'mon all three of us on each other that's gross!
Even I wouldn't do that for a dollar!
maybe a fiver...
Franta: This is worse than we could ever imagine...the "Young Hero's In Love" virus has struck my other selves!
Quick someone get the h bomb and hit 'em!
Lance: Bombs away! I was wondering if the third Doc Franta was still out and about bumming coffe change for the free world. (I wouldn't be able to sleep if I did not know!)
Big Boss Tweed: Glad you like the fruit Basket! There's more fruit to be had! Just GO ASK BEPPO! It's the game show of the century that can be found over at the other DC topics board! In fact, ask Beppo about the bomb plans! Beppo knows everything!
Speaking of 'bombs', Hour girl is "Our girl not "Our Ho Girl". Proper respect please!
(Aside to JW: You did bring protection?)
Hardy New-Born, you are too darn quiet!
HourGirl: Thank u Lance. MY HERO! Perhaps u would be interested in the Job of "keeping me" while JW is out of town finding work to earn me tha6 HUGE rock I am in demand of!
"The Girl"
Lance: You're welcome Hour Girl! Consider yourself kept! (I hear "our girl" let loose a low seductive purr and can just imagine as she bats her eyes!
JW: No. I need a bigger diamond. The biggest you have. She likes big things.
Doc Franta: Then why does she lust after you and Lance?
Doc Franta: There he goes again thinking with his other "head"...pervert!
Doc Franta: Uhhh, whatever....
Hey Lance I am collecting "coffee" money, right outside of The The Nut House Lounge, you don't have any spare change do ya?
I'll watch the Girl for ya if ya need me too,only a buck an hour, I'm a good babysitter.
Continued in Chapter 2