by Danny
"All I'm sayin' is... you ever heard the expression... 'hung like a horse'...?" Danny Hearn said to Lance Lorenzo.
"Yeah..." Lance replied hesitantly.
"Well, you know... with my powers..."
"That's fuckin' disgusting."
"Y'know, not that I'd ever try it, just... thinkin' out loud, is all..."
"You're drunk."
Thump.
"And now you're on the floor."
"You make an... excellent point... Mister I can stand on my own two legs... rub it in, why don't you... Hey, why am I in my bedroom?"
"I suggested you lie down for a while. Then I helped you up here."
"When... when was that?"
"A moment ago."
"I don't remember that..."
"Because you're very drunk. You don't have much experience with our era's liquor, do you?"
"Things... things're different in the future, you know... alcohol beveverageses... are different. Peoples' metabolisms is different..."
"Right. Fine."
"Night, Lance!"
"I'm turning off the light."
Click.
"Night, Lance!"
"I'm closing the door."
Slam.
"NIGHT, LANCE!"
"Just you and me now, big guy," said Hal
"You take that back!"
"...What?"
"I'll fight you right here and now! You'll... you'll... feel the wrath of an emu's neck!"
"First off all, you can't fight me; I'm inside your head. Second of all, an emu's neck is a largely unthreatening weapon."
"YOU'RE a largely unthreatening weapon!... heh..."
"That makes no sense. Go to sleep."
"YOU go to s--"
Snore.
Hours later:
"Yo, Danny Boy... you awake?"
"Fuckin'... you... guh."
"'Guh?'"
"My head hurts..."
"You mean OUR head hurts."
"Quiet."
"All I'm sayin' is, we share a head, and you gotta--"
"QUIET!"
"Keep your voice down. They probably heard you downstairs. I can still hear you if you whisper..."
"I SAID QUIET!"
Silence.
"...What?"
"Just... shut up."
"Something wrong?"
"Something wrong? Is there something fucking wrong? I HAVE A MAN INSIDE MY HEAD!"
Silence.
"I'm sorry."
"Right..."
"I really am."
"I said 'right'."
"But do you think you're really the ONLY WRONGED PARTY HERE?"
"Huh?"
"Right. You have a guy inside your head. AT LEAST YOU HAVE A HEAD! I'm a few slices of brain tissue grafted onto the cortex of some dumb kid! DO YOU KNOW WHAT EXISTENCE IS LIKE FOR ME?"
"Sorry."
"It's like death but worse! The only sense I have are what I can borrow from you! THE ONLY LIFE I HAVE IS BEING YOUR POCKET ORGANIZER FOR YOUR DAMN FUCKING POWERS!"
"I know."
"...What?"
"I KNOW! You think I don't think about that? You think I haven't spent hour after hour thinking about what it must be like for you? I'm sorry! I'm sorry you have to live like this! If I could change it, I would!"
"It's not your fault."
"YES IT IS! It's my head! I'm the reason you're in there! I'm the experiment!"
"No. It isn't. We're both victims. Victims of a madman."
Silence.
"Maybe. And I'm really sorry that you got the worse end of the bargain. I truly am."
"I believe you, Daniel."
Silence.
"Why are we here?"
"Because you got drunk and passed out here."
"I don't mean here in my room... I mean here. Here in 2002. Here with these powers. Here with this life."
"You're getting existentialist on me."
"I always wondered about religion, you know."
"...What?"
"Like, maybe, it would fill some gap in my life. Give me some answers."
"Religion is an archaic tool, a crutch for the masses. There's a reason it was wiped out before you were born."
"Right... but people here put so much stock in it."
"People here are eight decades less advanced than us. Remember that."
"In some ways, maybe..."