by LLANCE, HourGirl, Doc Franta, Jonah'sWhale, Chewy Walrus and Happy Noodle Boy
Oh, Chewy! I stopped off in the mid 1960's to watch that episode of BATMAN where he meets the GREEN HORNET! I'm still here! It's been a week now! Send help!
-------once over and twice twisted-----------
Lance
member of TOMB
HourGirl: Did someone say batman? MMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Count me in! Chewy...ready to assemble for the call of duty hun! Franta? JW????
"The Girl"
Lance: Send Hourgirl! Send Franta! Send Green lantern1011 and all of his buddies! Heck, (did I just type heck?), send Jonah and his whale! But whatever you do you must send granpa! He has that big (and I mean really BIG) yellow club! Hurry! I'm being assaulted by Brother Power the Geek, the Mad Mod, and a musical group that goes by the name of the Maniaks!
-------once over and twice twisted-----------
Lance
distraught member of TOMB
Doc Franta: Found my brain in a mayonaise jar buried under the oak tree withan autographed copy of I am NOT Spock by Leonard Nemoy.
Now what's all this nonsense about Hourgirl, Grandpa Whale, G'Nort Wars and Golden Showers?
This timeline is really a mess!
Well at least according to tonight's State Of the Union address the United Countries of the Western Hemisphere is in a great financial state!Thank God for President Frank Zappa, some things will always remain constant!
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Put a Black & Decker drill on this baby and I can go through walls buddy!
Jonah'sWhale: So it's all over? 'Bout time. I was worried.
Chewy Walrus: Umm... yeah... uh... I can see how Zappa could be a better President than Clinton. Ah! What the heck (wait a second... I just typed heck too)! Can't win 'em all!
Lance: I don't think Gnort could survive a golden shower what with that yellow immunity and all.
--------once over and twice twisted----------
Lance
member of TOMB
Doc Franta: good point.
Chewy Walrus: So whatcha wanna do?
HourGirl: OMGosh BOYS!!! Enough with the golden showers thing! (Laughing My Cute Lil Hourglass Off Here!!)
That was sooo a cum-on meant for ROY and it was not EVEN on this board! (LOL-blush)
U boys DO get around don't u?
Where is my whaletoy? I MISS him! (sniffle)
Chewy...we are all here babe..NOW WHAT???
"The Girl"
Chewy Walrus: Uh... I dunno... anybody got any new business?
Hardy New-Born: I would like to join. I could be your Message Board League liason, me being the MBL leader and such.
Huh? Whaddya say?
Jonah'sWhale: Sure, HNB, join. But I think our purpose in life has been fulfilled and we're just sitting around picking our edifices.
HourGirl: HNB does NOT get to join TOMB until he FINALLY acknowledges my existance! I NEVER even got mentioned in the new MBL by him when he went through the roster of new members. There I was raising morale with smasher in the corner and everything. I even risked my self batting my eyes at the enemy in a nice distrcation technique!
(pouting)
My feelings ae hurt now New-Born!
"The Girl"
Chewy Walrus: HARDY NEW-BORN! Buddy! 'Bout time you showed up! I was wonderin' when you were gonna enroll for membership! Seeing as how you and I are in the PLAS/PSYCH effort together, I see no reason why you SHOULDN'T be in TOMB! Hourgirl... well, she'll have to get over it. Friendship runs thicker than... umm... yeah... well, you're in anyway, HNB! Welcome aboard, pal!
Lance: Meanwhile... back in the mid 1960's. Lance scratches his head and stares at the TV screen. A thought balloon appears, " Bruce Lee actually played Kato?" To be continued...
------once over and twice twisted------------
Lance
member of TOMB
Chewy Walrus: Lance, why are you in the 1960's again? Shouldn't a half hour episode of Adam West's Batman TV show be over by now. Unless, *GASP!* you're in limbo! My goodness, man, why didn't you tell us sooner?! Quick! Doc! JonahsWhale! HourGirl! GreenLantern1101! Hardy New-Born! Hurry! We must rescue our old rookie! (Despite the fact that the present rookie's the one that always s'pposed to get in trouble... hmmm... nevermind) Hurry! Fire up the Cosmic Treadmill! TOMB UNITE!!
Jonah'sWhale: YAY!! I have a purpose again!
Don't worry, Lance! I'll save you (trips)
Lance: Yes, you have surmised my situation correctly. I am stuck in an infernal time loop. I do suspect it could be the work of that dastardly villain, the TIME TRAPPER. Or, I could like, you know, really like this episode a lot!
But do send all available help! Jonah, bring granpa and his big (I mean really BIG) yellow bat in case this is the Trapper and not just me screwing around again!
Chewy Walrus: Actually, I think Grandpa is now happily carrying out his normal historical purposes in the year 1900. Sorry, Lance, but he is a reserve member of TOMB now, and is not available for another full-time membership. Unless you wanna try to break your time loop and get him...
Jonah'sWhale: But I'll definitely bring the bat. In case anyone goes after my HG again!
Chewy Walrus: Ah... "Young Heroes in Love"... Don't it just nauseate you, folks?
HourGirl: (Grabs JW's arma nd snuggles closely)
"Ok lets go get 'im honey!"
"The Girl"
Lance: They're coming to take me away. Ha. Ha.
Jonah'sWhale: (Allows HourGirl to hold his arm until the world ends.)
Doc Franta: GREAT SCOTT!
This is worse than I thought!
Lance is watching the Batman/Green Hornet episode repeatedly on a VHS VCR!
Years before the recorders were created!
Who is responsible for this and how can we prevent it!
(and since Mr Batty is not here lets cut out the golden showers eh?)
Doc Franta: GOOD HEAVENS!
Lance has really gone mad!
He is not fast-forwarding the commercials!
Lance: They're coming to take me away! Ho! Ho!
HourGirl: (sighs dreamily..looks into Tim's baby-blues and...............FALLS!)
"WhaleGirl"
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"It ticks with my heart as she slowly approaches
The secondhand thumps in time with my pulse
The seconds are hours, free of reproaches
The flick of her head, the smile, the dimples
Passing time halts to savor the complexion
The second and the angel are completely in rhyme.
The room disappears in the moment's perfection
Who is this girl, this magician who stops time?"
Chewy Walrus: GOOD HEAVENS NO! Again with the one insane member and the two lust-struck members! Must I do EVERYTHING on this team? OK, guys, here's the deal. I will once again use my fool-proof powers of elasticity to pull a member's fat from the fire. Stretching back into the past, I will grab the now straight-jacketed Lance and drag him across the threshold of time and limbo and drop him off at Arkham. I think he should lay off of active duty roster for just a few days. Just to be on the safe side. Now, Jonah... Hourgirl... I have successfully saved time as we know it. You can stop squeezing now. OK, everyone, now that I've wrapped up this case, I need to take an inventory. ATTENTION ALL MEMBERS OF TOMB!! I need an index of our powers so that I know who to call/use in times of emergency. And before you ask, Hourgirl, no, seduction doesn't count as a power. I'll start with myself.
CHEWY WALRUS - elasticity and stretchability, I can reach halfway around the world... twice.
Like that... everyone now! Everyone join in! Thank you, all!
Jonah'sWhale: I have hypnotizing baby blue eyes and a six pack.
And we be just a team of misfits, but we sure do save the world a lot. And we have a lot of fun doing it too. Right, honey?
Lance: To the funny farm where life is ___.
Everybody. All together now. Finish the above line. But not before we list our powers and abilities.
I, Lance, have certain ghostly powers associated with those of us who are living impaired. (Remember I died many years ago in a JLA adventure.) I can turn most of my form invisible. (I have problems with my elbows and knees.) I sorta fly not unlike the Blimp of Inferior Five fame. I can pass through most any wall (it's really easy when I can find the door.) My ghostly stare has made evil litterbugs trimble. (Litter is my sole weakness.)
I don't think it's appropriate to go on about my 35th and a half level brain, (or was that just half level brain?) Modesty and all!
Come visit me at Arkham everybody! Everyone here is a Stratego expert!
--------once over and twice twisted----------
My ghostly stare has also been known to make evil litterbugs tremble. A few have trimbled, but most tremble.
Anyone for Battleship?
--------once over and twice twisted----------
Chewy Walrus: ... where life is beautiful all the time...
Doc Franta: I am an absent minded scientist with a speciality in time travel....err actually not quite worked out all the bugs in that field yet.
I am an alternate universe version of the LEGEND known as Franta and could never be as great as he...nor could any of you!
By the way shouldn't we be cautious as this may be construed as "FAN FICTION"
DA DA DAAAAAAA!
Heaven's no!
This will then be deleted like the original "no" .....then think of the paradoxes!!!!!
On the bright side we can disable smillies.
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Created by the enigmatic "no" topic
Creator of TOMB
"Put a Black & Decker drill on it, and I can go through walls boy!"
Lance: Yes, Chewy, life is beautiful! Give the man a cigar!
--------once over and twice twisted----------
p.s. Disable smiles in this post? Did Rob do that and what is it?
Jonah'sWhale: How long before we go the way GEEK, LLB and MBL went?
I will miss you. I'm just gonna say my goodbyes now...in case we don't get to later.
HourGirl: NO JONAH! I will NOT let them seperate us!
um, life is...a bowl of pits after some punk has come along and eaten all the wonderful , succulant cherry flesh off!?!? (naa, I aint bitter! )
powers: Time travel, omnipotence, beauty, hynotic abilities, and Chewy, I DARE say SEDUCTION does tooo count as a metapower! Right JW??? Just ask gramps!
"The Girl"
Chewy Walrus: Jonah -
It will be a shame that you won't be joining us on any future journeys... unless... HOURGIRL! Now's your chance to prove that seduction is really a power! (I can't believe I'm doing this...)
Chewy Walrus: I can't even tick around with myself...
(Chewy opens a time portal that whisks him to the near future, where the deed has already been done...)
P.S. - 100 posts! Can you believe it?
Oh, wait... I was 9 off... nevermind...
Doc Franta: Chewy it that BLASTED time anamoly again!
It WAS 100!
Lance: Honorable mention to "our girl" for "life is a bowl of pits..." She was batting her eyes when she said it!
Chewy Walrus: BLAST IT!! If it's not one thing it's another. I'm taking a vacation, TOMB members. I'll be checking in periodically just to see if you are behaving. So, watch out. Doc, take the reigns. Handle this whole "time loop/warp thingie" 'till I get back, and stop this whole "Young Heroes in Love" nonsence... Thank you, fellow TOMB-ers. I SHALL return!
Doc Franta: Godspeed fearless leader.
I will try to keep the adolescent angst here to a minimum.
But you know those hormones.
HourGirl: Thanks Lance!
Umm...I don't see JW around anywhere!
Franta? U, me and that dark corner over there?
(flirt, flirt)
"The Girl"
Lance: You're welcome,Hourgirl!
Chewy! Come vacation here at sunny Arkham! We play board games during the day and plot to conquer the world by night!
Doc Franta, I'm awaiting further orders!
Who REALLY wants to play the game of LIFE?
-------once over and twice twisted-----------
Doc Franta: Your orders ARE as follows...
Keep JW away from that dark corner
and YOU keep your back to it!
Lance: Once again me and jonah'swhale are at odds? Why is this to be? Can we not be fraternal brothers ready to defend one another with our lives if need be? Must we obey the ravings of a madman who just happened to luck into a tempory leadership position? More importantly, I believe this is the actual 100th post for the "no" topic! 900 to go!
Continued in Chapter 7