by I'm Not Mister Mxypltk
Shirley Francis was having a good day. She read something in the paper about a terrorist group in the Midwest suddenly turning themselves in and donating all their money to charity. Also about a scientist in England who was about to destroy the world with a machine he spent his whole life creating, but suddenly decided he would not and turned himself in. The paper said he was working on a cure for cancer now.
Everything seemed to be okay with the world. She decided to go to the kitchen to see if Mick was there. She thought she was a little harsh on him last night, and maybe she should make up for it.
"SIR!" M'xy yelled at the fridge. "I'm going to ask for the last time, PLEASE GIVE ME THE CHEESE!"
The fridge did not answer.
"FINE!" M'xy yelled as he walked away in anger. "I don't need your stinking cheese anyway."
He did not see Shirley coming into the kitchen, and they bumped into each other.
"Hey there," she said.
"Hey... there..." he replied.
"So... how did you like the couch, Mick?"
"Craig T. Nelson?"
"Not The Coach. I mean the couch you slept on last night, silly! You think you'll get used to sleeping on it every night, Mick? 'Cause I was thinking you could come over to the bed tonight."
"Oh, yeah, THAT couch," M'xy answered, confused. "Oh, and please call me M'xy."
"M'xy? I thought that was your code name or something. You want it to be your nickname, too?"
"Sure. I mean, I should be called M'xy when I'm M'xy to avoid confusion, don't you think?"
Tobias Christopher walked by and overheard the conversation.
"When you are M'xy?" Shirley repeated. "What does that mean?"
Tobias remembered Mick told him Shirley was not aware that he and M'xy were not the same person. He quickly went into the kitchen. "Hey there, guys! M'xy! I mean Mick! I need you to do something for me! Come with me!"
"Call me M'xy when I'm M'xy, dude," M'xy said as he and Tobias walked away from the kitchen.
As soon as they went where Shirley could not hear them, Tobias started whispering, "Call Mick, M'xy."
"But I don't wanna call Mick -- do that, Lance?" Mick Harrison said, and then looked around. "Where's Lance? Ooooh, I hate when that happens!"
"M'xy almost blew it, man," Tobias said, getting straight to the point. "You obviously still haven't told Shirley about him."
"He did? Daaamn. What did he say?"
"I'm not sure, but Shirley's pretty confused. You gotta do something about this, man."
"I probably should..."
"You should do something NOW, before it's too late!"
"You're right, you're right. Is she in the kitchen?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, I'm going in. Wish me luck."
Mick walked into the kitchen and closed the door behind him. The door remained closed for the next two hours.
From outside the kitchen (actually, from most parts of the building), the rest could hear several familiar phrases, such as "I hate you!" and "How could you?" and "I'm sorry, baby!" and Sam swore he could hear his fridge talking for a moment.
Then Mick opened the door and walked out.
"How did it go?" Tobias asked.
"Well, let's just say I'm not her favorite person right now," Mick answered, "but we're still alive."
"Not if you decide to keep something like that from me ever again," Shirley said from behind him. "You don't have any other people living inside your head you wanna tell me about, do you?"
"Nope."
"Then everything's okay," she said, giving him a kiss. "But you're still sleeping on the couch for the next century."
"I'm so glad to hear that," Tobias said with a smile.
"Yeah... and, hey, buddy," Mick said, "I might wanna borrow that cat of yours later."
Somewhere else:
"STILL IN THERE?"
"Still in there," Red Scorpion answered.
He sighed. "I DON'T KNOW WHY I BOTHER ASKING ANYMORE. HE'S BEEN THERE FOR, WHAT, A WEEK?"
"Maybe the old bassstard realizzzed hisss plan wasss ssshit and decccided to run away while he could."
"Don't count on that."
"WHY NOT?"
"The door just moved."
"OH."
The huge metallic door opened, and a naked man surrounded by shadows came out of the dark and mysterious room behind it.
"Ahhh," he said. "That's what I call a good--"
"Nap?"
"No, you fool," the man continued, "a good banquet. The Midwest terrorists were delicious. And the Englishman... oh, I haven't had something like that in years."
The man grabbed a cape to cover himself and started walking around the room as he continued talking.
"And, some days ago, I had some exquisite robots... resembling dogs or something like that."
"Robotsss? I thought you could only have..."
"You thought well. There were human brains inside them. I have to get myself some of those."
"A BRAIN? THAT'S OBVIOUS TO ANYONE."
"Oh? Do I sense resentment? Ah, but it's justified. I have forced you to wait for too long, and I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to wait some more. But don't worry, my loyal friends. I was just having a taste. The next time I get in there, it will be the real deal."
The four villains assembled in that place felt a chill after they heard those words.