by justafan1, Jonah'sWhale, LLANCE, Happy Noodle Boy, Shock Headed Peter, Chewy Walrus, Big Boss Tweed and Rypta Gud'n
justafan1: TIME OUT! Assemble men. This is an IMPORTANT mission! Somehow, SOMEONE has stolen OURGIRL!
We MUST save her! She has announced on the HOURMAN boards that she is leaving. This can only be the work of one of our swarthy enemies! perhaps SHP! Alas! I think tis true. Unless you wish to see the end of her reign please join me on the HOURMAN boards in an attempt to get to the bottom of this ridiculous mess and retrieve our girl safe and sound where she belongs...here with her "fans"!
-fan-
Jonah'sWhale: AS much as I loathe to agree with justafan, MyGirl IS missing. And I want her back. The world can wait. MyGirl needs me.
Lance: The girl of the hour is missing!
I hear of this dire circumstance from her arch enemy Justafan1!
Even Jonahswhale is concerned!
Quick, Robin! To the Bat-poles!
Eh...Maybe she's off flirting with granpa.
I'm off to the Hourman boards to get more info! Seeya!
Lance: I started to go for the Hourman Boards about 11 hours ago and I still haven't made it! Who could be behind Hourgirl's disappearence? Has this person put me into a time loop? One last ditch effort to escape to the Hourman boards or "Our Girl" may be lost forever!
Hardy New-Born: Damn. The others are all worried about HourGirl. I mean, I'm worried about a teammate, but the fate of the universe is more important... I'd better go and get those bombs back myself...
SHP walks down a busy street.
SHP(VoiceOver): 'The skirt proved just the distraction I could have used to get the plans. But I'm not going to just yet. You see, I'm not the one who took her, and I don't like being screwed without knowing who's in the saddle. It seemed the man who hired me was not my creator. I followed a lead I had which would have lead me a little closer to the truth.'
SHP bangs into a huge man.
SHP(VoiceOver):'And then I hit a brick wall.'
Knuckles: Peterson. I gots to have a talk with youse.
SHP:Well go ahead. I'll just run to the shops...
Knuckles grabs SHP by the shoulder.
Knuckles: Not so fast, wise guy. I's come to tells ya yez should go and get dem plans. Quit stallin'!
SHP:You must have one of those high vitamin diets. Could use a little more lead, though...
SHP spins round and fires at Knuckles. The bullets bounce harmlessly off.
SHP:Jesus H Candlesticks!
Knuckles: Heh. Just because I don't look bullet-proof don't mean it ain't necessarily so...
SHP(VoiceOver): 'This guy was more than he seemed. He'd broken several laws of physics, and almost all the laws of grammar. I decided I should go and get the plans now...'
SHP runs off.
Knuckles: Seeya, Shamus...
JW begins to shake again, convulsions hitting him as the distance between he and his love remains. No power on earth can save his heart if she isn't found.
Chewy: Hold it right there, Knuckles!
Knuckles: Huh?
Chewy's long elastic arm wraps slowly around Knuckles' thick neck, cutting off his supply of oxygen. Knuckles quietly sighs and passes out onto the ground.
Chewy: Are you ready to talk, Peter?
SHP: Huh? Who are you?
Chewy: Why, Shock-Headed, I'm shocked! Don't you recognize your employer when you see him?
Narrator (Voice Over): Can this be true? Is Chewy REALLY back from his vacation? If so, how could he betray his fellow heroes? Where is Big Boss Tweed? Where is HourGirl? Where is Rhyme Guardian? Find out in our next exciting enstallment of TOMB!!
Lance: I guess it's good to have you back, Chewy. I really don't know what you're up to but the situation is grim. HOURGIRL IS MISSING!!!!!!!
Oh, we still haven't found the plans for the bomb yet either. Hydrogen bomb? "Da Bom" comes up missing? Are these events related?
Big Boss Tweed: *GASP!* Chewy... *coff* *coff* I haven't... failed you... HourGirl... missing... SHP... the plans... H-bomb... Manhattan Island... I... I... I...
Big Boss Tweed falls face down, revealing a menacing, big (and I do mean BIG) yellow knife protruding from his back. All of TOMB gasps at their fallen comrade.
Chewy Walrus: Tweed! NO! I'll find out who did this to you! I promise. Tweed must've known something. He provided us with some sort of information. Lance, get on analyzing that! Now, SHP, are you ready to know your job?
Jonah'sWhale: The shock of the murder takes JW out of his fit. The knowledge that his girl may still be out there drives him forward. He will not rest until she is found.
But memorial services for Tweed come first.
Lance: Oh, what a dark day has fallen upon these mesage boards!
Jonahswhale is blinded by lust or he would also see the truth! Everything falls into place!
Boss Tweed was found with a big (and I mean really big) knife in his back! All together now! Who is the one person who owns such a weapon! Who mysteriously showed up decades in the past when all of us time traveling weirdos were looking for lost members? Who split from the group probably to go to the proper time to lift the plans for the hydrogen bomb? None other than.............prepare yourself everyone.....especially you, Jonahswhale...
.............Granpa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There. I,ve said it! I'm pinning all of this on an old man!
Am I right or is the big(and I mean really big) yellow knife actually a red herring?
--------once over and twice twisted----------
Lance: Oh, I forgot the memorial for Boss Tweed!
Ashes to ashes
dust to dust
glad he got you
and not one of us!
--------once over and twice twisted----------
Hardy New-Born: Um... guys? Bombs? The time stream? Destruction of the universe?
...
Fine. I'll do it myself.
Rhyme Guardian: While they're gone I can put my master plan into effect...
Jonah'sWhale: Okay, I'll have to admit. I never saw this coming...
HNB goes about to save the world alone. Rhyme Guardian does whatever. Grandpa...a murderer?!
The plot thickens.
Continued in Chapter 4