by locomotor71, theory9 and the_indestructible_man
In his hangar, LocoMotor smiled, watching the empty room where now the statues of Mowhereman, EuroTsar, and Twice-Twisted Lance stood.
LocoMotor: "Okay, now I know where these strange beings come from. That little door is still functional after all these years!"
One hour later, Twice-Twisted Lance came back to the subterranean lab below Garcia, D.C., bringing the statue of Mowhereman with himself.
"Where have you been, TTL?" asked Theory 9.
Twice-Twisted Lance: "Me have gone in basement and find this big statue!"
Theory 9: "Leave that there and go to monitor duty, TT-Lance!"
Twice-Twisted Lance: "Please, master, this is my new ram-hammer! Me want to take it with I!"
Theory 9: "Oh, Lord! Okay, but why is the statue wet? And what's this bad smell?"
He thought to himself, I didn't get into evil to have bosses... Plus, this guy has a sucky villain name! I guess I'll just coast for now. Theory 9 said out loud, "So what's your plan for destroying I-Man and the other MBLers?"
Twice-Twisted Lance briefly looked up from the monitor, then shook his head and smiled. With the Jokey One, HourGirl, and Colony out to help destroy the MBL, Theory 9 wondered where he fit into things.
"Me gonna make you big surprise!" said Twice-Twisted Lance after a moment.
"Huh?" said Theory 9. "What's up?" And with those last words, Theory 9 was converted into a stone statue.
Minutes later, in the abandoned hangar, just a walk across the stardoor, Theory 9 was reconverted from his statue condition. "Wha...? What happened, TTL?!"
"I'm not Twice-Twisted Lance, you fool! I'm LocoMotor!" And with those words, the slim and twisted figure of Twice-Twisted Lance grew big and old, and LocoMotor, the Golden Age master of disguise, was revealed.
LocoMotor: "Now we'll play the same game of that evil Weed guy. I'll reprogram you to serve the MBL, to be the fifth column inside our enemies' lair! And I don't need a Psychotron. I'll use an old recipe of my invention... Where are the mushrooms?"
Looking around while Theory 9 was tied by multiple old-fashioned knots, LocoMotor shouted at another, unseen person, "Oh, no, where are you? Gimme the mushrooms back! Hey, when I find you, you'll see!"
Hours later, Theory 9 was back at monitor duty, ready to do his treacherous act.
In the MBL Headquarters, Time Trustee Tempus found a statue of EuroTsar. What did this mean?
Tempus: "Mistress Medusa! Come here, hurry!"
Medusa Lass: "What is it?"
Tempus: "An ugly statue of Eurostar's clone!"
Medusa Lass: "Statue? This is not a statue! It's the real EuroTsar converted to stone!"
At that moment, a flash of light beamed out the statue's eyes. The ray turned the console behind them to stone.
"It's a Medusa ray! Run!" cried Medusa Lass. She turned and said, "Medusa ray on!"
And then a battle of will and power began. Stone-rays flashed through the room, while Medusa Lass ran from one corner to the other to be a difficult target for her enemy. The rays from the woman and the rays from the statue crossed, but at last the second prevailed, and Medusa Lass was stoned.
Tempus: "Can't compute... bzzzz... krakl... krakl... zzzzzzzzzzzz..."
The statue opened to reveal LocoMotor. "Good job! You are really mastering those powers of yours! Now let's get to business."
LocoMotor put his leaking jet pack on his back and turned to the frozen android. "This mechanical man reminds me of an old friend, Timothy Trystan, the Dynamiteen. He should be grown up, now... I wonder if androids can get older? My AAS comunicator works. I can try to send a call to his frequencies. And you, stop that mess!"
LocoMotor worked a little on his old-fashioned bakelite communicator, and sent the message: "Timothy Trystan, can you hear me?"
Meanwhile, in the General Lee:
Colony: "Master, I've locked Flintlock in the trunk and tied and gagged the other two in the backseat and am on my way to D.C.!"
Hate Assbury: "Excellent..."
In his monitor womb in Garcia, D.C., Hate Assbury noticed an odd thing in the other world's MBL Headquarters.
"So, their Golden Agers are still around, eh? Not for long..." He pushed a button, and the image of LocoMotor on the screen disappeared in a flash of light. Assbury revolved his chair in just enough time to see the shackled LocoMotor appear before him.
Hate Assbury: "Funny how it ends up. I killed this world's LocoMotor with my bare hands thirty years ago. Now I get to do it again!"
LocoMotor: "Who are you?"
Hate Assbury: "The name I give to the press is Hate Assbury. But, as a fellow Golden Ager, I'll give you the liberty of learning my real identity." His voice changed in pitch and changed into an English accent as he said, "I am..."
LocoMotor, astonished, gasped, "Mr. Nowhereman!"
Hate Assbury: "Yes, that's what they called me before I grew bored, and Timothy Telemos and I engineered the conquering of our world. We killed off our Squadron teammates and recruited new, less moral, associates into the Meta Syndicate."
LocoMotor: "But, shouldn't you be... older?"
Hate Assbury: "Indeed, but I changed bodies a few years back. You see, my scientists discovered a rocket crash in Kansas and found a small, humanlike, extraterrestrial baby on a farm near Lebanon, Kansas. We merely killed the residents of the farm who had adopted the child as their own and took it. When my body grew weak with age..." He stood up and walked forward, his body well-muscled and armor-clad, his hair falling in a hauntingly familiar spit-curl. "...I merely transferred my mind and consciousness into this one."
LocoMotor: "You... you're..."
Hate Assbury: "Mad? But of course! And you're dead! Only a few folks have seen me in this body. It might be a bit odd for my servants, so I've hung down here, fed constant solar energy through my suit for years, while my associates in the Syndicate dealt with trouble. But, with the MBL taking them down one by one, I may have to take to the fight myself."
LocoMotor: "Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I'm going to kill you," Hate Assbury said with a big smile.
LocoMotor's old eyes widened in fear as Hate Assbury's lit up with a hellish red glow. Red beams shot out toward the shackled hero, and the gruesome event was witnessed by none, leaving only the old man's ungodly screams of pain and the faint smell of cooking meat.