by Smasher, JTFree, Monopoly guy, Nowhereman and Disco Steve
Back in the MBL Headquarters, located in Thunder City:
On the floor were many bent steel rods, melted holes in the walls, and an empty pizza box on the ground. Smasher was flying over a seat watching the MBL's big screen television. On the TV was a special report.
"We have just received news that the MBL's private jet has crash-landed somewhere in... No, this can't be right... Well, they crashed in... Iowa. I hope there is no world-ending threat... in IOWA... HA HA HA HA HA. And that concludes this broadcast."
Smasher began rolling on the floor, laughing his ass off. "Iowa! I can't believe this... I am going to kill them over this. Lucky I didn't go... Ba-wha-ha-ha-ha-ha... this is too funny."
Then the lights went very dim, and the power went out. Red lights started to flash all over the place, and loud alarms went off like fireworks. Smasher stepped back a few feet, and a massive hole opened on the floor of the headquarters. Light peered through the hole, revealing the Hypertime Entity.
"One by one, I shall take you all down..." The Hypertime Entity smiled.
Smasher: "You... how... where...?"
"Like your friend, it is now your turn..."
Smasher: "We really need better locks on our doors! My... friend, Gooz? You killed my best friend... you murderous S.O.B. I'll kill you!"
Both men stood ready to attack. The Hypertime Entity towered over Smasher, who had the look of a wild man in his eyes.
Meanwhile, back in Iowa:
J.T. Free: "Wait! I have an idea."
Hardy New-Born: "What now?"
J.T. Free: "I'll burrow a tunnel to Hawaii."
Dragnet Zero: "What kinda fucked-up plan is that? Since when can a guy raised by wild ducks burrow anywhere?"
J.T. Free: "Hey, it worked for Daffy Duck."
Dragnet Zero: "That's in cartoons, you idiot! For Christ's sake, I'm surrounded by imbeciles!"
Nowhereman: "Don't forget that left turn in Albuquerque!"
Dragnet Zero: "Oy!"
Hardy New-Born: "Oh, man, we're gonna be stuck in Iowa forever!"
Money-Grubber: "You know, I own large parts of Iowa..."
Dragnet Zero: "Oh, for crying out loud! Listen, Richie Rich, I didn't ask for your advice!"
Money-Grubber: "As a team member..."
Dragnet Zero: "Did you ever hear us saying 'you're in the team'?"
Money-Grubber: "I just assumed, I mean, you let anyone in, even Nowhereman."
Nowhereman: "Hey!"
Money-Grubber: "Look, breasts!"
Nowhereman: "WHERE?"
Money-Grubber: "See? He's a moron."
Dragnet Zero: "He's a good man, not a stuck-up, rich asshole. We're stuck here in the middle of nowhere because your stupid plane crashed, and now risk life and limb in a truck driven by Beer-Drinking Lad. I've had enough of your sub-Bruce Wayne shtick!"
Money-Grubber: "Well, I just remembered I still have my multiple-person teleporter, but you just talked yourself out of ride. See you in Hawaii!"
Money-Grubber pressed a button on his wrist. "I think I'll start my own super-team..." He disappeared.
Dragnet Zero: "Damn!"
Beer-Drinking Lad: "Truck's ready!"
Dragnet Zero: "Double damn!"
Nowhereman: "Breasts!"
Dragnet Zero: "Triple damn!"
The Nowheremobile arrived, and Nowhereman and Disco Stave jumped in.
Nowhereman eyed up Disco Stave carefully, as he remembered the whole masturbator/semen thing. "No funny stuff, okay?"
Disco Stave: "What?"
Nowhereman: "You know. Don't act innocent with me!"
Disco Stave decided to let it go. "Whatever, let's just go!"
The car pulled away at tremendous speed, and within moments it hit the beach in Hawaii.
"Wha--?" said Disco. "Hawaii? But how? HOW?"
Nowhereman: "Aha, look: breasts, and lots of them!"
Disco Stave: "Hot damn! You ain't as stupid as everyone says!"
Nowhereman: "Who says?"
Suddenly, a voice appeared from under the car. Money-Grubber yelled, "Get this goddamn car off me, or I'll sue!"
"Ahh..." Disco said as he realized that when the Nowheremobile arrived in Iowa, it must have run over Money-Grubber, who sustained almost-crippling back injuries. Money-Grubber's multiple-person transporter had then sent the entire car and its passengers from Iowa to Hawaii in an instant.
Disco Stave and Nowhereman stepped out of the Nowheremobile.
Nowhereman: "OOH! Look! More breasts!"
Disco Stave: "Hot damn!"
Money-Grubber: "Why couldn't there be a get out of hell free card?"