by M&CNICFYYY2K
"Wha...?"
"I said..." The fat man walks past me and leaves the cake on our dinner table. "...welcome to the neighborhood!"
"Yeeeeeah..." I'm confused. "Who are you?"
"Why, your neighbor!" The fat man is already on his way to the kitchen. I look at Alfhild, and her distrusting frown tells me she doesn't know him either.
"Where do you keep your eating utensils?" the man asks from the kitchen. "We can't eat cake with our hands, can we?"
"Should I grab the guy and drop him in the middle of Nevada?" I ask my roommate.
"No. Don't use your powers in front of him." On her way to the kitchen, Alfhild quietly closes the door to her bedroom, probably so our "guest" doesn't see the big flamethrower laying on the bed.
Before she can enter the kitchen, the man comes out holding some napkins, three plastic spoons, and the electric knife I got for Christmas. (My uncles never know what to get me. I also got a Scotch tape dispenser and some toner.)
"I should have realized you'd have no kitchen appliances, having just moved in," the man says, cutting the cake with the (unplugged) knife. "I apologize for being so thoughtless. I have plenty of forks and knives in my place."
"Uh... no sweat." He hands me a napkin and a spoon, then drops a generous piece of cake on my hands.
He does the same to Alfhild. "Here you go, young lady."
"Alfhild, please," she corrects him. "And your name is...?"
"Euphrates! I'm sorry for not shaking your hand, but I've got some icing on me." He takes his own piece of cake, wraps it with napkins, and grabs a spoon, only to place it in his pocket. Apparently, forks and knives are all he has. "Now, I'd love to stay and eat with you, but I'm afraid I'm a bit busy."
The man announces he'll show himself out, and kindly waves goodbye. "See you later, Alfhild. See you..."
"Will."
"See you, Will!" He closes the door behind him, and everything is as it was before he arrived. Except for the cake and the napkins, I mean. We probably look kinda silly, standing there without saying a word.
"So, what do you make of that?" I ask Alfhild, amazed that she doesn't feel as confused as I do (or at least she doesn't show it).
"He could be just a whacky neighbor who wanted to be friendly," she says, leaving her piece of cake on the table without touching it. "But then again, he could also be a spy placed next to us, either by the big guys themselves or by someone else. Until we know for sure, I suggest we remain cautious and don't accept any--"
She freezes when she sees what I'm doing. "Hey, thi' shit's actua'y pre'y good! You go'a eat your piece?" She turns around and walks away. "Wha'?"