My essay

All of us struggle to understand who we are and how we fit into the world. This struggle is often not a pleasant process. Theodore Roethke once said, “In a dark time, the eye begins to see." In other words, the moments that challenge us are, in fact, opportunities for a better understanding. Erik Erickson, the German-American psychologist, developed a theory based on his ideas about inner conflict. One work of literature which exemplifies this natural human course is The Color of Water by James McBride. In his memoir, McBride presents his mother, Ruth, who emerges from a difficult and abusive childhood to create a successful and love-filled life. James himself also experiences enormous confusion about his identity at key moments, which hinder his ability to move forward. Both Ruth and James exemplify specific stages in Eric Erickson‘s theory.

The choice between intimacy and isolation, the sixth stage in Erickson's theory, manifests itself in Ruth's young adult life when she moves to New York. Working temporarily in her aunt's factory, she meets Dennis McBride, who Ruth describes as “inquisitive", “funny", "easy-going" and "secure". Treated poorly by her aunt, she finds a new job as a manicurist in Harlem, working for a man named Rocky. The choice between Dennis and Rocky symbolizes Erickson's conflict. Rocky is a pimp, who offers Ruth the amenities of a prosperous life, but no real affection or commitment. Dennis, on the other hand, is upstanding and rooted in institutions, like the church, which require fidelity. The choice becomes clear to Ruth when she tells Dennis about her exciting new life and suddenly feels “ashamed". Ruth's instincts tell her that even though she has a job and her own apartment, provided by Rocky, the future prospects of this life would yield only the kind of abuse and pain she endured in her father's house. Ruth chooses intimacy, with Dennis, and successfully acquires the virtue of “love “.

James exemplifies Erickson's fourth stage, Industry versus Inferiority, as a student in Brooklyn. James' mother ensures her children will get a first-rate public education, meaning he will have to leave his poor neighborhood and travel to a wealthier neighborhood where the schools are better. There, James gets opposing messages about his competency. On the one hand, he is a serious student, a reader, a musician, someone who excels in academics. On the other hand, as the only black student in his all-white school, James gets a clearly racist message from his peers. He is called names on occasion. He is expected to conform to his classmates' stereotypical ideas of how a black person should behave. Escaping from this “painful reality", James creates an imaginary friend to deal with his emotional pain. Eventually, James understands and embraces his competency with confidence. Still, his school year presents many conflicts which lead him to question it. The racist society in which he lives labels him as inferior but James comes to understand these messages for what they are, and, in the end, embraces the truth of his own competency.

As Roethke's words suggest, conflict can lead to clarity. In The Color of Water, both Ruth and her son chart the course of their lives, confronting the challenges life presents. Each struggle allows them to understand their lives in new and more meaningful ways, enabling them to move forward with a clearer sense of self.