License to Poop

In Seattle, we have a lot of homeless people and they are "everywhere". The problem is that the homeless are people and people tend to eat and drink and pee and poop. Seattle also tends to not want public bathrooms. They tend to attract homeless people. Imagine that. That means that homeless people tend to poop in inappropriate places, such as alleyways or sidewalks

I have a solution. Let's require that everyone who poops in Seattle hold a city license to poop. That way, when the police catch people committing that most unhealthy and unpleasant form of littering, the cops can ask the homeless for their pooping license. If the homeless person doesn't have a license, the police can drive the homeless to the nearest border of Seattle and dump them off.

What, that's illegal? Are you say that people have a right to poop? Are you saying that we can't require that people stop pooping? Then we need to provide a public restroom for the homeless.

People are going to do bad things. What we could do is to hire attendants to watch over the bathrooms and to kick out drug users and prostitutes and passed out drunks. This would also provide employment to the down and out

PS This proposal does not come with guarantees. I know that this could end horribly wrong. However, given the scale of our homeless population, Seattle should try something constructive