May 2010 Kukai

Kigo Theme: 

Fishing

First Place — 34 Points

fishing the shallows

hip-deep in

white clouds

Michael McClintock

(2,10,8) = 34 pts

Second Place — 22 Points

fishing alone

I cast a thought

on the stream

Bill Kenney

(0,7,8) = 22 pts

Nice expansion of the verb "cast" here... love the thought of that thought, arcing out over the water.

Third Place — 19 Points

fishing

a rainbow

out of the blue

Ben Gieske

(2,2,9) = 19 pts

A "language haiku" that also works as an image.

Well formed and within everyone's experience.

Fourth Place — 17 Points

watching hour — 

the crescent hangs

in the fish hook

Vasile Moldovan

(3,2,4) = 17 pts

Fifth Place — 16 Points

after the splashing...

the shape

in the heron's neck

aom (tim)

(0,4,8) = 16 pts

Sixth Place — 15 Points

sliced lemons — 

the faint scent of trout

still on my hands

DeVar

(1,1,10) = 15 pts

Well formed and within everyone's experience.

city dock

two gulls ignore

the no-fishing sign

Roberta Beary

(0,3,9) = 15 pts

Seventh Place — 13 points

fishing together

a father and his son...

the same line

Keith A. Simmonds

(1,2,6) = 13 pts

fly fishing

the shadows cast

downstream

Darrell Lindsey

(0,4,5) = 13 pts

Eighth Place — 12 Points

annual fishing trip — 

the salmon story

growing longer each year

Nancy Nitrio

(0,4,4) = 12 pts

gathering dusk;

the netted trout twitches — 

one last time.

manoj saranathan

(0,4,4) = 12 pts

montana sky

in the arc of the fly rod

a rainbow

Edward

(0,3,6) = 12 pts

So many things come together in this moment, suggesting even to a non-angler the powerful lure (pun not intended but acknowledged) of fishing.

Ninth Place — 11 Points

old trout

belly to belly

with the sun

Nicole Hyde

(0,3,5) = 11 pts

A bit extravagant, perhaps, but it catches the mood in the moment.

As above so below.

Tenth Place — 10 Points

fish market — 

an old lady

counting her money

Juhani Tikkanen

(0,4,2) = 10 pts

dawn...

the first catch

spreading sunshine

Rob Scott

(0,3,4) = 10 pts

Eleventh Place — 7 Points

lit fish stall

open mouths darken

in the night

martin

(1,1,2) = 7 pts

Many layers of reading and meaning here. My favourite in both sections this month!

breathless pond — 

just the wiggling ears

of a fishing cat

Gryta Wansdronk

(1,1,2) = 7 pts

flooded gulley — 

he fishes for his sandal

with a stick

Caleb Mutua

(1,1,2) = 7 pts

oh so relaxed,

the fishing pole

just a prop

Ellen Romano

(1,0,4) = 7 pts

opening day . . .

her creel overflows

with watercress

Bill Pauly

(1,0,4) = 7 pts

The Goddess' own.

a perch on the hook — 

the eyes of my father

in his deathbed

Origa

(0,3,1) = 7 pts

I knew from the moment I first read this that there was a good chance it would make my final list. Gut-wrenching and spot on.

tug o' war

the trout on my line

the loon on my trout

maxianne berger

(0,2,3) = 7 pts

Twelfth Place — 6 Points

dusk

a smallmouth

takes the surface plug

Tom Painting

(1,1,1) = 6 pts

family folklore

father casts a tall tale

to his daughter

Anne Curran

(1,1,1) = 6 pts

High-tide now — 

the whole ocean

where I'd stood casting

Keith Woodruff

(1,0,3) = 6 pts

on the pier

a coquette, fishing

for compliments

Cara Holman

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

fishing expedition — 

the little one

learning patience

Barbara Campitelli

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

the line crossed

one angler

curses another

Michele L. Harvey

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

mosquito bites

the tip of my fishing rod

dips again

Laurene

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

river bank

the fisherman concentrates

on his day dream

Audrey Downey

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

Thirteenth Place — 5 Points

streaks of cloud

a salmon darting in and out

of shadow

Catherine J.S. Lee

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

cusp of moon . . .

tossing fish heads

to the pelicans

Francine Banwarth

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

Fourteenth Place — 4 Points

backwater fog

I enter into

the shadow ahead

Donna Bauerly

(0,2,0) = 4 pts

fishing

arguing with the earthworm

again…

dbdewfall

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

airport approach — 

a fishing boat and its gulls

in the morning haze

Isabelle Prondzynski

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

fly-fishing

the slow move

of a tail fin

og_a

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

strangers rubbing

shoulders on a bridge

the salmon run

Garry Eaton

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

with each flash of lightning

:::::::GONE FISHING::::::::

on the Barber's door

Ron Moss

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

Fifteenth Place — 3 Points

brook trout leaps

ringlet to ringlet — 

hapless mayfly

if

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

the float twitches

it's just the new moon

unhooking itself

Boris Nazansky

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

our new cat ...

urgent restock of neighbour's

koi pond

andrea

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

catching

my reflection

the largest koi

j blain

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

fishermans

reflection...

catch of the day

eric

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

Fathers Day

bright new set of lures

same old fishing hat

Meredith Stern Cavalieri

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

morrow moon

he fillets his catch of the day

on yesterday’s news

Angele Lux

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

Although I might have tightened up the last two lines to "filleting today's catch/on yesterday's news". Still I liked this.

Sixteenth Place — 2 Points

Clouds dance-

the moon safe from the waves

from the first trawl

Oprica Padeanu

(0,1,0) = 2 pts

Only fisherman

casting rumors into

soaking-wet moon

Kurt R. W.

(0,1,0) = 2 pts

dusk already…

at the end of the line

a plastic bag

Barbara A Taylor

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

morning sun

the pelican’s head returns

atop the wave

C.P. Harrison

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

fly fishing

a water skater

makes waves

Harvey Jenkins

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

shrimp boats

docked at the harbor...

oil on the water

A Dharma Bum

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

Seventeenth Place — 1 Point

Hidden behind fronds,

winter fish play dead,

fishermen leave.

Jean Lewis

fishing net bulging — 

cold light

in the fishes' eyes

John McDonald

The carp and the trout

are swimming worryless-

The fisherman is a poet

Dan Norea

grey creek — 

a rainbow trout at the end

of fishing line

Jacek M

overcast morning

the subdued glow of fish scales

clinging to the net

Anonymous

fishing

we break each night crawler

into four pieces

Anonymous

Two old anglers.

Wait. Release. Wait.

A boat goes by

Ralf Bröker

am i fat?

he squirms before

answering

Terra Martin

chicken liver

on my young son's fish hook — 

his anticipation...

Anonymous

children at the puddle

with sticks and balls

of white bread

Diane Mayr

gotcha!

hooked up by the same thought

angler and fish

Dejan Pavlinovic

rising trout — 

one mayfly

is feathered

James Dobson

blushing dawn

in silver mirrors

first spring mackerel

Jon Espen Vassbotn

I Like how the "silver mirrors" suggest a silver mackerel in the last line.

mayflies

on the angler's hook

rainbows on his mind

Amicus

heading home

seagulls in our wake

gutting cod

Ruth Powell

nibbling my sushi

the koi in the tank

watch

deanna tief

paddles at rest

over their beds

bluegill hover

Jennifer Corpe

setting day dance

lobster fishers

with girls in their arms

Beth Powell

near dusk — 

filling up my fishing net

a dragon fly

Kaiser

praising it

over the picnic table

his prize-winning fish

carol pearce-worthington

No points this time, sorry.

naval cadets

master the waves in bay — 

fishing nude

R.K. Singh

far out fishing

200 meter line

at the breaking point

Erik Boye

leaping

out of the river

into the pan

into the fire

miriam chaikin

fishing call — 

a tube shaped net

of whale bubbles

Jan Jordan

dragonfly

lilypad jiggles

koi snacks

Lorraine Margueritte Gasrel Black

flooded park

the fisher reels in

a spoiled load of bread

mechaieh

pretty in pink

at the senior prom

fishing for compliments

Mary E. Gray

Big old frog

Jumps into the pond — 

Stork is disappointed.

Geoffrey A. Landis

whip of the line

a Royal Coachman

in the eddy

Barbara Snow

clouds over the lake :

a kingfisher emerges from the shadow

with the catch

vishnu p kapoor

fishing lines cast

waist-high in water

anglers wait

Frances McCarthy

rainy morning — 

a child trying to catch fish

at the damside

Stephen Macharia

otter from far shore

swimming toward

my fish!

Kaylene

a flurry of fish

high above gannets

line up for the catch

Elaine Riddell

wood chip smoker

on the patio — 

salmon not yet caught

Leslie Montgomery

an osprey floats high

above river edge treetops

fishing

gourdman

Garden pond,

cat strokes the water — 

fish wave back.

Trevor Camp

hold full of herring

storm’s lone survivor limps in

price is high this year

Deirdre Godwin

boy watches heron

watching for a glint

on the water

Alegria

cast, reel, tug — 

my line empty

the pelican's bill full

Terri L. French

spreading nets

in a tranquil river

creates ripples.

bushra naqi

chasing goldfish

to clean the tank — 

fleeting sun

Marylouise Knight

flowing river — 

fishermen casts their nets

deeper

Edith Peacock

clouds scud — 

a may pole angling

toward pisces

Anonymous

a tug on the line — 

I smile at his excitement

but still think: weeds

Anonymous

Storm on the sea — 

the fisherman leaves for home

by the empty net

Miorita

preening older man

fishing for compliments

from the ladies

Hazel A. Witherspoon

pelican flying over

unaware of

goo-goo-eyed fishermen

Stella

Free Format Theme: Peace

First Place — 22 Points

window moon — 

the quiet sound between

tick and tock

Angele Lux

(1,5,9) = 22 pts

Second Place — 19 Points

in the garden

that was her life ...

birdsong

Carol Raisfeld

(3,2,6) = 19 pts

"the garden / that was her life" says a lot. A genuinely touching tribute.

Third Place -- 16 Points

evening walk — 

leaving the house

to come home again

Marylouise Knight

(0,3,10) = 16 pts

Such sweetness here, both in the freedom to leave and in having a home to return to.

Fourth Place — 15 Points

Memorial Park — 

alone with the silence

of the fountain

Isabelle Prondzynski

(1,3,6) = 15 pts

Fifth Place — 14 Points

new roof

the steady rhythm

of raindrops

Terra Martin

(0,3,8) = 14 pts

Lovely. To lie back safely dry and enjoy the soothing sounds.

Sixth Place — 13 Points

wishing well — 

moonlight deep

into the water

aom (tim)

(0,2,9) = 13 pts

This suggests more than it says, which is entirely appropriate to the theme.

sudden shower — 

silence of the

lawnmowers

andrea

(0,2,9) = 13 pts

Seventh Place — 12 Points

summer breeze

his ashes swirl

in figure eights

tf

(1,2,5) = 12 pts

quietly rocking

away the day

new grandmother

Roberta Beary

(1,1,7) = 12 pts

Evocative - I can see, hear, and feel this so clearly.

morning fog

trapped inside

the quiet

rob scott

(1,0,9) = 12 pts

sunset . . .

my silent

amen

Francine Banwarth

(0,2,8) = 12 pts

Awesomely simply.

Eighth Place — 10 Points

the scent of lilacs

drifts through the screen porch

mom closes her book

Edward

(0,2,6) = 10 pts

A moment away from a moment away - lovely.

first snow

before daybreak

the silence

C.P.Harrison

(0,2,6) = 10 pts

Been done before? Well, yes, but rarely more elegantly.

So soft, so snug, this serenity.

Ninth Place — 9 Points

early morning peace

coffee steam curls

in the sun

j blain

(0,3,3) = 9 pts

snow flurries . . .

the spaces between

a mother’s soft words

Ron Moss

(0,2,5) = 9 pts

Tenth Place — 8 Points

after the quarrel

harmony

and red lips

dbdewfall

(1,2,1) = 8 pts

Sunday morning campus

the cathedral

of old trees

Audrey Downey

(0,1,6) = 8 pts

Eleventh Place — 7 Points

day’s end

an offshore breeze

dimples the lake

Tom Painting

(1,1,2) = 7 pts

together

the silence of the stars

listening

Elaine Riddell

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

Twelfth Place — 6 Points

peace

on the sign

of each protester

Beth Powell

(1,0,3) = 6 pts

easter moon

still the rising

not forgotten

Barbara A Taylor

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

This must be the Irish Easter Rising. A lovely enigmatic and very memorable haiku.

dusk — 

in lilac bush

roosting sparrows

Alegria

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

zen garden — 

the eternal sameness

of movement

Nancy Smith

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

rolling seas

the long line of lights

inside the harbor

Michael McClintock

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

silent night — 

my cat rubs her head

on my knuckles

Vivian Adhiambo

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

What cat lover could resist this?

peace rally . . .

candle to candle

we pass the light

Bill Pauly

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

Thirteenth Place — 5 Points

I leave alone

the leaves

on his grave

mechaieh

(1,0,2) = 5 pts

peace

the cricket

finally sleeps

April Serock

(1,0,2) = 5 pts

This brought a rueful nod of recognition.

lightning flashes

birds and crickets

halt their song

Lorraine Margueritte Gasrel Black

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

cool breeze

moonlight

rippling my way

Bill Kenney

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

I love "rippling my way"

Fourteenth Place — 4 Points

At dead of night

the crickets' chirp dies down-

peace and quiet

Vasile Moldovan

(1,0,1) = 4 pts

evening sighs

the sound of wind

through pines

Cara Holman

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

uneasy peace — 

together in bed

one back faces the other

vishnu p kapoor

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

in the spider web

the last twitch

Ben Gieske

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

soundless

in the night museum

Wyeth’s boots

Nicole Hyde

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

just as I was thinking

of everything wrong with the world — 

cherry blossoms!

John Thompson

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

first killing frost

at last I can stop

gardening

Donna Bauerly

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

Every gardener will recognize this.

I Love this honest perspective on gardening as both a pleasure and a series of never-ending 'shoulds'

flowing

from mother's breast

nightly silence

Dejan Pavlinovic

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

wind chimes at dawn

I note my newborn's

Buddha smile

Amicus

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

Original Face koan so much more comforting than Original Sin.

dark night

stepping out the back door

into peace

Ruth Powell

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

Resonant for me - "into peace" as its own line has a "just right" feel.

Fifteenth Place — 3 Points

frightened,

i turned on the light

nothing there . . .

miriam chaikin

(1,0,0) = 3 pts

beer in hand

over the bones of thousands

boasting peace

R.K. Singh

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

clash

the moment

she smiles

Ralf Bröker

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

drifting clouds — 

a tree swaying silently

from side to side

Samuel Pirias

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

new song

for a new day — 

the rain washed thrush

carol pearce-worthington

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

Robin's song...

the baby finally drifts

off to sleep

Michele L. Harvey

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

Sixteenth Place — 2 Points

the white dove flies --

a dark shadow over

an orphan's tear

Lucas Graczewski

(0,1,0) = 2 pts

Guns are still,

weeds grow in silence

where her home once stood.

Jean Lewis

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

cherry blossoms

floating upon the dawn ~

peace offerings

Keith A. Simmonds

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

calm grey rain

pink mallow in a clay pot

seeking nothing

Sheila K. Barksdale

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

It's the last line that raises this one.

the gentle creaking

from the old rocking chair...

peaceful memories

eric

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

stolen afternoon...

toes and other things

lost in the sand

Diane Mayr

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

no barking

in the countryside — 

lime trees in blossom

Kaiser

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

TV turned off

in the carpet sunspot

a cat belly-up

Anonymous

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

Seventeenth Place — 1 Point

now that you are gone

the house is strangely quiet

and oh so peaceful

if

flickering

incident tape -

peace lilies sway in the breeze

john McDonald

The sky in water — 

the mild sun by the

lotus flower

Dan Norea

venetian blind

cutting swaths of yellow

the sun drifts in

maxianne berger

unpracticed year

anticipating good things

accepting what comes

Barbara Snow

eternal flame

at the war memorial...

piercing quietude

natalia kuznetsova

twilight fades

birdsong stills

night cloaks the garden

Frances McCarthy

graduation

after the party

deafening silence

Anonymous

baroque music — 

the serenity of

making rosaries

Barbara Campitelli

spring breeze — 

another turtle arrives

to the pond

Israel Lopez Balan

quiet day

at the cemetery

a mockingbird sings

Anonymous

children asleep — 

tranquility

shines on our house

James Dobson

after a dinner

a sudden fart — 

then a deep peace

Juhani Tikkanen

vernal equinox

neighbors together tear down

the spite fence

Catherine J.S. Lee

drizzling morning — 

ants slowly rebuild their soggy

nest together

Patrick Wafula

morning breeze — 

water lilies swaying

on stagnant water

Abraham Muuo

green land — 

two weaverbirds building

a nest together

Beryl Achieng

red-winged blackbird

feet slightly wet

standing on a lily pad

Stella

In the garden — 

my grandma listens

the bird’s song

Miorita

Asleep

on sun-baked shingles,

well-fed stray

Kurt R. W.

end of war

the world seen through eyes

grown older

Ellen Romano

No points this time, sorry.

Israel's P.M.

welcomes progress towards peace

talks talks

Horst Ludwig

in conversation

Bono, Blair, and Gates

leave the economic summit

Anne

the soldier — 

the girl saying no

his peace away

Gryta Wansdronk

After convalescence

Husband back at work

Quiet house

Mary E. Gray

collecting

scarred memories

cobalt blue sea glass

Garry Eaton

spring rain

the fresh colors of flowers

on my hippie van

Jacek M

hide and seek — 

children secretly agree

where to hide

James Bundi

lotus blossoms

morning pond

untouched dew

Jennifer Stefanow

warm calm day

watching ladybugs

sunbathing

Kaylene

headphones

during her surgery — 

Bach cello suites

Leslie Montgomery

lilac bloom enters

a third week while spinach

graces the table

gourdman

Make a Zen garden,

move pea gravel all day long.

The stone Buddha smiles.

Trevor Camp

quiet zendo;

moving from zafu to zafu-

spring sunlight !

manoj saranathan

woodstove afternoon

outside fog and dripping trees

warmth and love within

Deirdre Godwin

stained glass display

the church choir

sings Hallelujah

Harvey Jenkins

Bombing in Baghdad

fields growing

fat on corpses

Mark Lonergan

in a verdant valley

serenity sits

pondering on itself

bushra naqi

imagine butter

melting on top of your head

warming ears lids lips

William

a green bike

against the red brick wall

at last, no wind

DeVar

traffic jam

roll down the window

a whiff of honeysuckle--ahhh

Terri L. French

new pet — 

the rhythmic dove coos

under our bed

Caleb Mutua

golden dawn — 

birds singing among

sesbania trees

Annastacia Muthini

breezy morning — 

six kids pull wheels

in the mud

Alex Wanambisi

no peace in the house

until he can get outside,

check on his seedlings

Anonymous

a board book

and the baby's warm head

autumn rain

Jennifer Corpe

drama roomie gone

palpable peace permeates

a wearied house

Hazel A. Witherspoon

a dove alights

upon the trellis...

the scent of newborn roses

A Dharma Bum

my nap cut short

by my neighbor’s mower

all tranquility lost

Meredith Stern Cavalieri

General Comments

The theme, Peace, brought out a number of interesting variations.

Many haiku in the free format section had very nice images, but needed better editing to be contenders for me. #59 could have an interesting 2nd line pivot if the dash was removed & an "a" was added. #74 needs to be pared down to essential words. e.g. ants rebuild / their soggy nest / . . . morning drizzle OR soggy morning . . . / ants rebuilding / their nest. Others had evocative images, but when read closely, all 3 lines were really part of one single image rendered basically as a sentence (free format #18, 91, 97 - kigo #57). These all have potential - they just need some more technical editing!

I had a more difficult time writing and judging this one. Peace can be difficult to define and to capture in words.

There were so many different aspects of Peace portrayed in each one of these haiku gems that it was very hard for me to pick the best ones. I narrowed my choices down but I would have given all the points to several more of them if I could. have. Nice work done by each poet.

It isn't fair, I tell ya--some of these people have actually gone fishing!

There were many good ones in the Kigo section this time. I had a hard time choosing!