Here are the results for the February 2016 Kukai, wherein our Kigo subject was AN OUTING, and our Free Format subject was SLEEPLESS NIGHT. If you find any errors, please let me know so I can correct them online.
Congratulations to ***DeVar Dahl***, winner of our Kigo section and to ***Maria Tomczak***, winner of our Free Format section!
VOTERS' comments are indicated by "**"
POETS' comments are indicated by "^^"
Kigo Theme:
An OUTING
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First Place - 42 Points
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my shadow walks
on the opposite bank--
winter sunset
DeVar
(4,11,8) = 42 pts
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Second Place - 29 Points
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desert safari
the undulating shape
of the wind
sanjuktaa
India
(1,8,10) = 29 pts
**A bit exotic as haiku go, and all the better for it, I'd say
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Third Place - 26 Points
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double rainbow
a class expedition
to the window
Simon Hanson
(0,6,14) = 26 pts
**I particularly liked the senryu flavor of this one
**Wonderful wry in-class nature trek as far as the window, and a teacher bringing excitement to the class in a spontaneous manner perhaps.
**This haiku took me back to my elementary school days and remembering my own class taking trips to the windows to view some special weather phenomenon. I can feel the excitement and awe in this poem.
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22 Points
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spring’s first day…
even my walking stick
has green buds
D W Skrivseth
(2,3,10) = 22 pts
**This would be much better without "even," a vague intensive that rarely works in haiku.
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20 Points
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family outing...
for each new voice
the baby kicks
vinay leo r.
(1,3,11) = 20 pts
**Wonderful, a new child wanting to get out to see what all the fuss is about!
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17 Points
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campfire
a spark floats up
and becomes a star
kawazu
(2,1,9) = 17 pts
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16 Points
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day-tripper
a tiny dandelion seed
sets off alone
Gerry B.
(Canada)
(0,2,12) = 16 pts
**"tiny" could be dispensed with. I don't think the author means that this seed is significantly tinier than other dandelion seeds, and we don't need to be told that dandelion seeds tend to be tiny.
**A wonderful nature poem, and seasonal, where we enjoy the year’s journey of dandelion seeds.
**Such a lightness in this ku!
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14 Points
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hiking up
to the mountain temple...
scent of pine
Angela Terry
(0,4,6) = 14 pts
**There's the destination, and there's the physical effort, but, beyond these, there is the responsiveness of the senses to the natural environment.
caving
sometimes the sound
of a raindrop
(Ramona)
(0,4,6) = 14 pts
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13 Points
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boat ride –
out of the blue I let her
touch a cloud
Ana Drobot
Bucharest, Romania
(2,1,5) = 13 pts
**I love the movement of the river and the clouds in this one, and that it’s either a parent and a child, or a young romantic love. It’s open to the reader to fill in the gaps in the way they would like to, which is a great feature of many haiku.
**Wow! How key that simple word “let” is in this haiku, signifying a young girl on this boat ride with her parent who allows her to lean over the boat to touch a cloud reflected in the water. This poem says so much about being a parent with a young child, making those allowances, and it even suggests what will come in the future as the child ages, how the parent will have to “let” go. So tender and emotional!
mountain top -
evening snow slowly hides
the trail home
Darrell Byrd
(1,2,6) = 13 pts
field trip
lavender scent fills
the emptiness
Kaiser K.
(0,2,9) = 13 pts
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11 Points
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pensioners picnic -
the priest
won't stop singing
John McDonald
Edinburgh Scotland
(0,3,5) = 11 pts
church outing
Grandma's final spray
of perfume
Paul Hodder
(0,3,5) = 11 pts
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10 Points
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ducks queueing for food –
along the canal field trip
children in a row
Daniela Bullas
(0,4,2) = 10 pts
overseas trip
the bags overstuffed with
mom's love
Vandana Parashar
Sriganganagar
(0,3,4) = 10 pts
field trip
the teacher
runs out of Band-Aids
Edward
(0,2,6) = 10 pts
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9 Points
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hiking
area under restoration
I feel much the same
Bill Hudson
(0,2,5) = 9 pts
**I really enjoyed this haiku. Lines 1-2 sound awkward to my ear – splitting the modifier from its noun, I would have preferred “hiking area” as line 1. I appreciate the insight this haiku offers and just how much I can relate to the feeling.
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8 Points
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scent of the sea . . .
that hike we used to take
when we were young
Bill Kenney
(1,1,3) = 8 pts
snail trail -
all that I might need
in a backpack
Anitha Varma
Kerala, Tripunithura
(0,1,6) = 8 pts
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7 Points
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first step in new snow, a giant puppy-sneeze
Svend A. Doggfall
(1,1,2) = 7 pts
warm breath, soft nose
a city child touches
his first horse
rose marie Stutts
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
campus tour —
a parent pops
two red pills
Roberta Beary
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
**Out of points, but I like the wry humor of this.
summer picnic -
the sunshine of childhood
in sepia
Arvinder Kaur
Chandigarh,India
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
waterfall picnic . . .
meeting ourselves
in the pool
Bil Pauly
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
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6 Points
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the spring’s first outing
willows by the river-walk
bursting into fuzz
Deirdre Godwin
(1,0,3) = 6 pts
ginko walk...
i take her fingers
for rosebuds
Shrikaanth
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
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5 Points
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school field trip
the adults leave the bus
in a daze
Diane Mayr
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
playing hooky…
a lake trout
takes the bait
Michele L. Harvey
New York, USA
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
**What a wonderful surprise in line 3! I kept returning to this haiku, loving the fun nature of it and the places it took me.
Passport Office
all the different languages
of home
maxianne
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
**I like this especially for its imaginative variation on this month's theme.
hike day
the distant crow
of a rooster
Billy Antonio
Laoac, Pangasinan, Philippines
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
monkey poop...
the pre-schools annual
zoo field trip
S.E. Buffington
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
mountain trail-
retreating half way
to the anemone
Rita Odeh
Haifa/ Israel
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
**Wonderful nature haiku! Sometimes we are too focused in getting to the top of things when something simple but amazing is just down at ground level or too easy to overlook.
field trip
going to date
the rainbow
Oddbjørn Aardalen
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
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4 Points
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ice skin
on the camp pond
a thousand cuts
Sondra J. Byrnes
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
on the rocky ridge
through our binoculars
another new nest
Barbara A. Taylor
Mountain Top, NSW
Australia
(0,2,0) = 4 pts
night in the outdoors—
between me and aliens
my companion's snoring
Rafał Zabratyński
(0,2,0) = 4 pts
outing
all around the secular oak -
great-grandfather's birthday
Lavana Kray
Romania
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
field trip
the empty leash
its weight
oga
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
National Park --
a monkey grabs
my banana
~ ANNAH MWIKALI
(Kenya)
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
school picnic
inter-city kids adjust
their hoodies
Harvey Jenkins
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
trip to the zoo...
mischief asleep
on the way back
Yesha Shah
Surat, India
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
back to the bluffs
of my childhood
1 Mississippi...
Donna Bauerly
Dubuque, IA 52003
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
**Note: in our neck of the woods, 1 Mississippi begins a counting for a second's time. Reverberations, however, and varying levels of meaning
**The last line is genius! Revisiting childhood places is a wonderful
treatment in this fresh and highly original haiku.
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3 Points
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wise men from the East
reading in the stars above
where they are going
Horst Ludwig
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
southern wind
travels on the wings
of returning geese
Maria Tomczak
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
Aids awareness week…
pupils’ outing to visit
terminally ill
Keith A. SIMMONDS
Rodez, FRANCE
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
spring migration
the birdwatcher’s
field day
Tom Painting
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
cherry blossoms
and protests
my senior trip
Judi Honiker
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
tires singing
on the road in a country
of balsam and snow
Michael McClintock
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
city ginko—
the smoke signals
from her exhaust
Stella Pierides
Neusaess, DE
& London, UK
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
on the hiking trail
the coyote
there too
Barbara Campitelli
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
into the wild
falling in love
dry wool socks
jill
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
picnic in the woods
your natural fragrance
delights the air
poseytoon
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
rest home windows:
the day care toddlers
on their morning walk
Barbara Snow
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
**What a wonderful juxtaposition of the windows with elderly people looking out at the toddlers. I especially admire the way the “windows” bridges a gap of time – from young to old.
spring hike
the smell of bread
calling me home
Dorota Ocińska
Poland, Łódź
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
in an empty shopping cart
next to a field
one haiku
Bill Gottlieb
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
**Love the surprise in line 3. Beautifully captured and rendered. I appreciate how this moves from small to large to small and as well as from an emptiness feeling to one of joy, just how life works.
hill outing –
a toddler counting
the sparrows
Miorita
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
**I like lines 2-3 very much, but line 1 doesn't work hard enough.
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2 Points
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picnic on the green
tedious preparations
ants
Tom Conally
Gibsonville, NC
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
into the woods
the pine tree sings its song
our shadows melt into one
Bernard Gieske, USA
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
giggling nymphs
under Neptune’s fountain -
school outing
Eleonore Nickolay
France/Germany
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
scrambling scree staggering against shadowing raptors…
kw
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
Out of town trip
Funeral
Three years after wedding.
Tanja Cilia
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
on an outing
frozen leafs cover my glasses eyes
and your touch
Anonymous
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
children's field trip
in same caps
in same gym suits
Yukiko Yamada
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
greenness breaks new ground
Hansha
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
oymyakon morning
each step a shot
on metal snow
- ru, canada
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
^^Oymyakon is one of the coldest permanently inhabited locales in the world. This Russian town of 500 holds the record for the lowest recorded temperature in an inhabited centre: -71.2*C (-96*F), recorded in 1924.
sampling sand
on the beach only we
are fully dressed
assu
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
the trail forks…
I buy both haiku books
Cyndi Lloyd
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
first sunny day-
in pursuit of spring
fleeing the town
Natalia Kuznetsova
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
midway games
the dime in her hand
drops down a drain
Adelaide B. Shaw
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
up from the valley
the bell-tower’s sound--
snowdrops sway
Tomislav
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
field trip
yellow bus finds
every pothole
Jone Rush MacCulloch
Portland, OR
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
families eating on the grass
of the motorway verge
it's no picnic
Jon Espen Vassbotn
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
botanical garden
a jacana flits
from leaf to leaf
Sreelatha Nair
India
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
garden picnic -
the breeze sprinkles our food
with pair-tree petals
Anonymous
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
music festival --
a man with white hair
takes a snap
~ ANGELA MUTANU
(Kenya)
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
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One Point
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snapping turtles
share my pumpernickel
field tent at dusk
Ignatius Fay
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
**Very Issa-like. I love the tenderness that comes through in this haiku!
Melodic field trip -
toasts and chips adding more
tunes to guitar
Aziza Hena
Dhaka
Bangladesh
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
a couple try
to cheat the wind
new year sales
Alan Summers
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
Basho!
following his footsteps
to the high mountains
Kirsty Karkow
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
Spring walk
inspired by the name on the seed packet:
'Pike's peak'
Sheila K. Barksdale
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
March outing -
a leap into a puddle
multiplies rainbows
mechaieh
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
canyon descent
600 ft of switchbacks
sky getting smaller
todd eddy
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
walking into
a cedar forest
my friend laughing
Devin Harrison
Vancouver Island - Canada
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
foothills walk --
the three who stay
in town
James Dobson,
Prudhoe, UK.
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
bullet train --
my neighbour sleeps
so prettily
~ Isabelle Prondzynski
(Japan)
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
still puddle --
a wild flower lands
and forms ripples
~ Catherine Njeri Maina(Kenya)
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
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No Points This Time, Sorry.
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Wheels to the river
lenses blink along the bluffs
eagle majesty.
Robert C. Howard
Belleville, Illinois
Field trip
Irish cottage made
from henge stone
Brenda Roberts
selfies in garden
a squirrel pilfers from hamper
a cookie
Vishnu P Kapoor
Chennai, India
jangle of keys
my small dog on hind legs
beats me to the door
Anonymous
we both
while at beach resort
just were tiny tots
Purush
forced march the long slog from witch hazel to birdsong
Barbara Kaufmann
A Disneyland trip-
all adults become children
hugging ducks n’ mice
Munia Khan
Dhaka, Bangladesh
suddenly
a vernal sleet
on my sandwich
Juhani Tikkanen
my children's share
in distorting the moon
lagoon boating
Ajaya Mahala
Pune, India
up the forest trail
bamboo clacking overhead -
our mindful steps
Leslie Montgomery
coiffed hat
a stiffness in grandma’s
poached egg
Alegria Imperial
Canada
Beamed through us
Curtains of fog
Broga outing.
Tanzeev Haque
^^Broga is a hill in Malaysia
pile of snowshoes
and a thermos of tea
into the van
Ruth Powell
flickering lights -
she walked by the river
through gentle wind.
Iffat Jahan Suchona
the frozen fjord
our kids fluttering across as one
giant butterfly
Anne Zooey Lind
shaky deep blue line
tracing the mid-term field trip
on the map…
Cristian Mocanu
^^Author’s note: This month’s topic struck a chord: in childhood I was told to stay away from many school actions, due to disability
Machakos park
with my friends --
taking selfies
~ ASSUMPTA MUTHEU
(Kenya)
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General Comments:
**Again, thanks to all. This contest is a fine OUTING!
**So many fine kigo entries this time!
**A spring kigo may be a bit optimistic, but perhaps the groundhog got it right.
**Is it too harsh for me to say that many of the entries seem so derivative of what has gone before with no added depth or felicity of voice?
**Some really wonderful haiku moments captured and deserving of points.
**The long road home! Thanks again for all.
Free Format Theme:
SLEEPLESS NIGHT
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First Place - 25 Points
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hand-knitted scarf
the length
of her sleepless night
Maria Tomczak
(1,7,8) = 25 pts
**I feel the depth of winter in this haiku, with the night lengthening and lengthening.
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Second Place - 23 Points
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sleepless
the promises
I've broken
Bill Kenney
(2,5,7) = 23 pts
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Third Place - 19 Points
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5 am
finished with sheep now
counting roosters
--Diane Mayr
(3,2,6) = 19 pts
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18 Points
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sleepless night...
the phone call
that never came
Angela Terry
(0,3,12) = 18 pts
**The true insomniac scorns those who need a reason for their sleeplessness, but the call that never came, the thing that never happened, is one of the almost acceptable ones.
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16 Points
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a sleepless night –
my window
is a part of a constellation
Radka Mindoba
Bulgariq, Sliven city
(0,4,8) = 16 pts
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14 Points
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the one...
waking me up
his absence
Ana Drobot
Bucharest, Romania
(0,4,6) = 14 pts
**This piece barely gets one of my votes notwithstanding the odd inclusion of a cutting marker at the end of line 1.
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13 Points
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sleepless night
our dog joins me
in the guest bed
Tom Painting
(0,3,7) = 13 pts
**Love the light humor!
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12 Points
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tossing and turning
the sleepless river
of my thoughts
Michele L. Harvey
New York, USA
(0,3,6) = 12 pts
**Everything is “tossing and turning” thanks to that middle pivot line – the person’s body, the thoughts, and the river that never stops. Great transference link!
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11 Points
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gray dawn . . .
under the table, all night,
the missing puzzle piece
Michael McClintock
(2,2,1) = 11 pts
**---How nice to read something not about a sleepless person.
in the early hours
still counting his wrongs...
divorce petition
Natalia Kuznetsova
(0,3,5) = 11 pts
the sound
of the last cricket -
sleepless night
Israel López Balan
Mexico City
(0,2,7) = 11 pts
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10 Points
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sleepless night --
a silence now lies
beside her
James Dobson
Prudhoe, UK.
(1,3,1) = 10 pts
nightclub surprised by daylight at the door
Simon Hanson
(1,2,3) = 10 pts
sleepless night --
the hospital's chaplain
brings me more coffee
Edward
(0,4,2) = 10 pts
full moon -
the toing and froing
of a fixed idea
Eleonore Nickolay
France/Germany
(0,3,4) = 10 pts
**Yes, that is what so often happens -- only I never yet grabbed a pen to write it down!
wakeful night
only the cold wind
for company
Marietta Jane McGregor
(0,2,6) = 10 pts
sleepless night
the black sheep
counts people
Oddbjørn Aardalen
(0,2,6) = 10 pts
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9 Points
----------------------------------
the sun rises
sleep twines its fingers
in my hair
assu
(2,1,1) = 9 pts
sleepless night
a bit of cosmos slips
into the room
Devin Harrison
Vancouver Island - Canada
(1,1,4) = 9 pts
**Great sense of space and movement in this one!
insomnia
again I unfold
his burial flag
Kaiser K.
(0,1,7) = 9 pts
**Deeply poignant and so much said and left unsaid in just seven words.
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8 Points
----------------------------------
all night
wishing my worries
were sheep
maxianne
(1,1,3) = 8 pts
of all the things
to lose sleep over
love
Bill Hudson
(0,3,2) = 8 pts
staying awake
to watch her sleep
moonlit ward
Paul Hodder
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
sleepless night...
the echo of your
last good-by
S.E. Buffington
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
sleepless night
headlights drag leafless shadows
across the ceiling
Arkady Elterman
(0,1,6) = 8 pts
**Too much information. Drop the first two words of line 2, and the first letter of the first word of line 3, and let the reader do some of the work.
**I love the movement of light and shadows in this haiku. Great diction choice with “drag” as it heightens the night dragging on for the person still awake, staring at the ceiling.
me and the moon
only the scarecrow
sleeps
Boris Nazansky
(0,1,6) = 8 pts
**Ah yes, sometimes we are up later than the scarecrow. A great poetic deceit, and a warmth comes through, unless someone is troubled, but the wry humor which haiku can carry suggests they are just enjoying being up so late regardless.
the long night—
regular start/stop
of the fridge motor
Ignatius Fay
(0,0,8) = 8 pts
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7 Points
----------------------------------
storm-tossed night
the sound of phantoms
lifting a roof
Alan Summers
(1,1,2) = 7 pts
**I see an insomniac (mon semblable! mon frere!) finally pinpointing just what that sound is: phantoms, of course!
twisted in blankets
haiku I wrote in pencil
last night in the dark
Beverley George
(1,1,2) = 7 pts
**this haiku is an apt ode to one of the most wonderful human capacities: that of turning unpleasantness, whether anguish or just cold (blankets in the plural=possible kigo for winter?) into creative energy
three a.m.
still counting
fireflies
Ellen Compton
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
**And how many did you count, or how many before you lost track and fell asleep? A great alternative to counting sheep in order to get to sleep.
sleepless night
wish I could finally
fall asl
Rafał Zabratyński
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
all that remains
of a sleepless night...
fine haiku
Rita Odeh
Haifa/ Israel
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
fever chart
watching over my child
the moon and I
Yesha Shah
Surat, India.
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
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6 Points
----------------------------------
even her snoring
oga
(1,0,3) = 6 pts
sleepless night
are those crickets
snoring?
Bill Pauly
(1,0,3) = 6 pts
**What a wonderful thought!
full moon
still the same
singing cicadas
Dorota Ocińska
Polska, Łódź
(0,2,2) = 6 pts
twisting and turning
haunted by much better versions
of the haiku I submitted
Jon Espen Vassbotn
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
**Ah! I think many of us will relate to this. I appreciate the double meaning of “twisting and turning” – the person’s body and person’s thought processes, agonizing over how the haiku could have been made better. Wonderful!!!
snowfall
by streetlight
until it switches off
jill
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
wide awake
with the full moon-
counting mosquito bites
Leslie Montgomery
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
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5 Points
----------------------------------
chapter by chapter
through the night
sleepless
Ann K. Schwader
(1,0,2) = 5 pts
three a.m.
at the cemetery
the owl's cry
Jone Rush MacCulloch
Portland,OR
(1,0,2) = 5 pts
**Here maybe better in [L3]: “an” owl's cry
midnight moon
the scrabble tiles
spell insomnia
vinay leo r.
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
**much in the Japanese/Chinese/Korean tradition of poetry reflecting 'the pleasures of an intellectual". A crossword or duplicate ie "solo" scrabble-faithful companions of the night!
3:02 a.m.—
the crickets
can’t sleep
Bill Gottlieb
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
**Does projecting my condition onto the crickets make me feel any better? I've used up my allotment of points, but I like the moment.
stormy night -
refreshing her to do list in life
after mammogram
Lavana kray
Romania
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
sleepless night
the pebbly eggshell
of my ceiling
kawazu
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
**As long as I'm guaranteed anonymity (I'll deny everything) I confess I hear a woman's voice wondering whatever possessed her to choose that ceiling. "pebbled eggshell" is lovely – and, again, her knowing the name suggests that she is the one who picked it out.
window moon -
the face of my unborn
all along
Arvinder Kaur
Chandigarh,India
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
full moon --
I crush one more mosquito
in my palm
~ Catherine Njeri Maina
(Kenya)
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
**Ah, those male mozzies, which tend to be the ones who make the noise, can keep us up late into the night and early morning.
sleepless night
the icicles dripping
like a broken tap
L.Csilla
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
one eye
open all night -
crescent moon
John McDonald
Edinburgh
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
**I enjoy the mirror image of the crescent moon and an eye half closed.
sleepless night
gravitational waves
open my eyes
Hansha
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
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4 Points
----------------------------------
moonlight
leaves keep falling...
...five.....nine.....twenty...
Vishnu P Kapoor
Chennai, India
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
**Nice turn from the “counting sheep” cliché. If only sleep would come as gently as the falling leaves.
sleepless
a dog’s whimper circling
the moon
Anonymous
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
**I like the cosmic reach of the familiar, tiny sound. It's the reverse of the dog whistle that can be heard only by dogs. The whimper can be heard only by insomniacs, but we know it's meant for us.
sleepless night
thoughts of Donald Trump
haunt the night
DeVar
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
**I laughed out loud when I read this.
**My goodness -- that is indeed enough to frighten one into a sleepless night!!
sleepless night
my favorite crime show
on demand
MR PC
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
sleepless night
the smell of smoke
draws closer
Barbara A. Taylor,
Mountain Top, NSW
Australia
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
through the night
holding her
my child's fever
Rose Marie Stutts
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
----------------------------------
3 Points
----------------------------------
silence is a question...sleepless night
Sondra J. Byrnes
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
busy mind
vacation starts tomorrow
no sleep tonight
Tom Conally
Gibsonville, NC
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
who...who...who
the owl at 3: a.m.
me...me...me...at 4
Adelaide B. Shaw
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
not even a moon
how blue the black that fills
this sleepless night
Gerry B.
(Canada)
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
sleepless night ―
her slightly slurred
what ifs
Roberta
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
insomnia-- again
the train whistle
at two a.m.
Brenda Roberts
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
sleepless night--
the fits and starts
of the nightingale's song
Kevin Knezevic
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
a wobbly stance
our new colt learns to stand
long past midnight
Harvey Jenkins
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
counting sheep
the flock keeps folding in
on itself
Stella Pierides
Neusaess, DE &
London, UK
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
sleepless night
losing count of
the gecko's chirps
Billy Antonio
Laoac, Pangasinan, Philippines
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
oh please, full moon
distant barking dog
and erratic moth!
Anne Zooey Lind
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
**another haiku with a tinge of senryu. The exclamation, the surprise effect for the reader-I loved it!
**Not a haiku, of course, of course, but who can resist this heartfelt cry in the night?
----------------------------------
2 Points
----------------------------------
The stars sing gently
as I pace beneath the moon
tomorrow I wed.
Robert C. Howard
Belleville, Illinois
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
stranger in the night
Frank Sinatra too quiet
outside window
hawktalk
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
cats in heat
the sound of sirens
outside my bedroom
Barbara Kaufmann
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
cold night
between us
seven empty cup of coffee
Andrzej Dembonczyk
Silesia
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
deadline approaching:
identical coffee mugs
their Valentine’s gifts
Cristian Mocanu
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
sleepless night
she can still hear
the baby crying
quamrul Hassan
(dhaka, bangladesh)
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
sleepless night -
another thousand sheep
on the other side
Norsto
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
only my breathing
and the green glow of the clock
in the night
dsnake1
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
----------------------------------
One Point
----------------------------------
Starless New Year's night -
in my father's old Bible
two, three moving tales
Horst Ludwig
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
one more sleepless night -
a white owl hangs on a breeze
to halt or to hike...?
Daniela Bullas
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
sleepless winter night
moon shower circles teahouse
all is not so dark
poseytoon
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
the clock chimes
a 2 am reminder -
take some pills
Darrell Byrd
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
singing rhymes
to the snow moon ...
insomnia
Archana Kapoor Nagpal, Bangalore, India
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
**Beautifully atmospheric and poetic making this a fine meld of haiku and hokku. In fact it would make for a great opening verse to a winter renga
or renku.
alone in the dark
wishing I could hear you breathe
please come home to me
Deirdre Godwin
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
a noisy bird
keeping the whole forest
awake
Juhani Tikkanen
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
counting in English,
then Spanish, then Urdu
sheep of many colors
mechaieh
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
night watch
looking out the window
shooting stars
Ramona
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
slipping rosary
so hard to catch
some sleep
Shrikaanth Krishnamurthy
Birmingham UK
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
first light at dawn -
my nightmare
disappears
Tomislav
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
counting my worries
with each tick of the clock
awake after midnight
todd eddy
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
moonshadows -
sleep dancing just
out of reach
Ruth Powell
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
**A highly evocative haiku. I like the way the shadows of line 1 are brought to life in lines 2-3. And, yes, insomnia can feel like that.
sleepless night-
missing the next episode
of my last night's dream
- Kashinath Karmakar
India
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
Sheep jumping fences
Chased by the caffeindog
Annebet
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
night falls,
she feels the heat from his skin
under the blanket.
Iffat Jahan Suchona
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
**This haiku feels very sensual, erotic; a fine reason for a sleepless night.
--------------------------------------
No Points This Time, Sorry.
---------------------------------------
long night;
even the last owl's hoots
recede..
manoj saranathan
**What a beautiful sound, the owl’s hoot, stretching the night until it sleeps or perhaps until just before dawn. Lovely mood in this haiku.
at last home again
in their own soft bed
they didn't sleep at all
Anonymous
Wakeful night
clocks in house speak to each other
“tick-tock, tick-tock…”
Aziza Hena
Dhaka, Bangladesh
The leap behind silence
just before morning speaks
its glow
Lindusen
scampering mice--
what the hell are they doing
up in the attic?
--Kirsty Karkow
night-long drone
of the crickets
insomnia
Cyndi Lloyd
A mom’s sleepless night…
her only girl celebrates
the eighteenth birthday
Keith A. SIMMONDS
Rodez, FRANCE
parading all over my
heart and soul
the unrealised dreams
on a sleepless night.
purush
sh...the wall...
scurrying sounds | sleepless cat
me too
Svend A Doggfall
falling asleep
as the sun comes up
motherhood
Judi Honiker
**Line 3 was unexpected. One can picture all the duties of motherhood, the all night feedings or being up all night caring for a sick child or sewing a costume, etc…
campfire camaraderie
the bamboo flute has pointed
to most of us
Sheila K. Barksdale
tossing and turning
might as well get up
and make pancakes
Donna Bauerly
Dubuque, IA
still awake
raindrops on the red tile roof
home again
Bernard Gieske
USA
sleepless night-
her gaze at the ceiling
counting stars
Munia Khan
Dhaka, Bangladesh
nighttime's
blessed
silence
Jane DeJonghe
sleepless nights
success
sleepless nights
Ajaya Mahala,
Pune, India
gulls hunt
along low tide shores
crabs sleep
Casey Daniel
Insomnia
Under-bed monsters
Enter the mind
Tanja Cilia
sleepless night –
this night was darker.
this dark sleep...
Anonymous
chilly room
sleepless night falls
phone rings
Yukiko Yamada
coiffed hat
a stiffness in grandma’s
poached egg
Alegria Imperial
Canada
lying there awake
sleepless
dreamless night
Barbara Campitelli
"Chaos theory
She braces
Another sleepless night."
Tanzeev Haque
nights with itchy dreams
days between unease and peace
wires up and down
Mortimer Scott
meeting eye to eye
one that cannot sleep
and the full moon
D W Skrivseth
carefully snipping off
the one silver strand
sleepless night
Sreelatha Nair
India
Sleepless night -
counting the stars
of Pleiades
Miorita
Eyes wide open
dreaming of the moon –
white night
Virginia Popescu
PHOENIX
struggling to fall asleep -
the "baa, baa" of my sheep
number 9000
Anonymous
cold night --
a just-seen horror movie
rings in my mind
~ JAMES MUTULA
(Kenya)
noisy night --
loud music playing
in the village
~ SAMUEL NZUVE
(Kenya)
passing so fast
on the line overhead --
night time train
~ Isabelle Prondzynski
(Japan)
Endless images
From the flanks of creeping night
Taunt my unclosed eyes
Jim Thoune
Bowling Green KY USA
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General Comments:
**Once more, thanks for a great prompt!
**Even tougher choice here, and for the 1st time I feel like adding some brief comments
**A fine selection to choose from. I liked the humor in some of the entries, enjoyed this edition very much.
**This seemed like an unusually weak collection.
**Hard choices: If I give this one 2 points, I'll have to drop that one from the list. The six that won my votes were selected from 28 that, in my opinion, deserved consideration: a strong showing.
**I had to distribute points to as many of the submissions as I could - I really liked them all!
**Thank you again for challenging us with new and stimulating themes!
**So hard to choose among many excellent haiku!
**Lots of great senryu!
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Thank you for participating in the February 2016 Kukai!
With much appreciation,
The Shiki Monthly Kukai Team