Congratulations to Francine Banwarth, winner of our Kigo section and to Melissa Spurr, winner of our Free Format section!
April 2008 Results
Kigo Theme:
Any Herb
First Place – Thirty-one Points
gathering thyme . . .
the thoughts that come
when I'm on my knees
Francine Banwarth
(1,9,10) = 31 Pts
For me 'thyme' has an echo of 'time' and by extension the timelessness infinity of prayer.
What is it about picking fresh herbs that brings us into a contemplative state? A beautifully executed haiku.
Second Place – Twenty-three Points
tax day—
a bit of parsley
in his smile
Josh Wikoff
(2,5,7) = 23 Pts
I really like the simple humor of this one, tying in with the innovative seasonal reference of 'tax day'.
Third place – Twenty Points
lavender —
even the old stems
fragrant
jill
(1,2,13) = 20 Pts
Elegant, just like lavender.
A perfect little morsel of a poem.
moonlit field
the cows knee-deep
in comfrey
larisa
(1,3,11) = 20 Pts
I don't even know what comfrey looks like, but this haiku conjures up a powerful image of cows, adrift on a sea of leaf.
Although I've never experienced this before, I have now. It's a treat for the senses, full of it's own lovely sounds.
Fourth Place – Fifteen Points
dark clumps
of wild onion scent
her dreams
Gene Doty
(2,2,5) = 15 Pts
Fifth Place – Fourteen Points
the empty house —
chives and parsley
gone to seed
Alice Frampton
(0,2,10) = 14 Pts
A good complementary juxtaposition. Not sure if there's a 'deeper' meaning for this particular choice of herbs. If so, Google didn't tell me in time.
A lovely way to show loss and neglect, while giving us hope that all is not lost, as long as there are fertile seeds remaining.
the night she passed —
moonlight shadows
in wild lavender
Ron Moss
(0,3,8) = 14 Pts
Sixth Place – Thirteen Points
dried spring herbs —
I still
love her
Israel Lopez Balan
(1,2,6) = 13 Pts
Conveys loss and longing without overdoing it.
spicing up the stew
she hands me coriander
in that dress
rob scott
(1,1,8) = 13 Pts
Great, simple image from everyday life, with a dash of wit!
Seventh Place – Twelve Points
flowered curtains
the scent of lavender
drifts through them
Melissa Spurr
(0,3,6) = 12 Pts
silence of dawn...
I stir my tea with
cinnamon stick
Vanja Nikovic
(1,3,3) = 12 Pts
Eighth Place – Eleven Points
the first season without you —
preparing lamb
with powdered thyme
Joyce Clement
(0,2,7) = 11 Pts
nettle leaf
when I come home late
her tongue
Norsto
(0,2,7) = 11 Pts
Ninth Place – Ten Points
cool shadows
under the cliff swallows' nests
water cress
Bridget Cougar
91,2,3) = 10 Pts
spring cleaning
sage retires
to a higher shelf
Deb Bauer
(0,3,4) = 10 Pts
Clever pun. I'm wondering if This 'sage' is a yang element.
the discolored Christ
in a roadside chapel
fresh chamomiles
Dorota Pyra
(0,2,6) = 10 Pts
soaking wet
under the witch hazel tree
your loud laughter
Elena Naskova
(1,2,3,) = 10 Pts
Tenth Place – Nine Points
long afterwards
the tang of wild mint
on your palms
Beverley George
(0,1,7) = 9 Pts
There is a hint of sensuality in this one. "The tang of wild mint" is a good construction.
Eleventh Place – Eight Points
always different
he names the puppy
Mugwort
Carmel Lively Westerman
(0,3,2) = 8 Pts
I love this!
spring crossing —
ants parade
from parsley to thyme
Mary Davila
(0,2,4) = 8 Pts
Love this one!
still pond
tiny ripples in the mint
and marsh grass
mike farley
(0,1,6) = 8 Pts
The ripples in the mint are beautifully unexpected.
Twelfth Place – Seven Points
exploring a new trail wild mint at the end
w. f. owen
(2,0,1) = 7 Pts
A beautiful thought, it brought me right to the scene.
A brilliant stroke--the one-line format is absolutely perfect for this depiction of a trail, with the word "end" cleverly and appropriately placed at the end. The juxtaposed concepts of "new trail" and "wild mint" are ideal mutual compliments. This is impeccably crafted; a superb haiku.
Thirteenth Place – Six Points
gaol garden walk —
floating in the air
a sense of thyme
Lech Szeglowski
(0,1,4) = 6 Pts
sagebrush sea;
swishing the scented air-
a sparrow.
manoj saranathan
(1,0,3) = 6 Pts
spring sun
even the thyme out
of the shadow
og_a
(1,0,3) = 6 Pts
A very subtle expression of the magnificent mechanics that tilt the earth on its axis.
bitter herbs,
apples, walnuts, honey —
life goes on
Robert Ertman
(0,1,4) = 6 Pts
I like how this evokes Passover without spelling it out.
lonely spring
in my herb garden
shoots of rue
Ruth
(0,2,2) = 6 Pts
spring wind
the rock wall draped
in woolly thyme
Susan Constable
(0,0,6) = 6 Pts
Fourteenth Place – Five Points
my fingers
fragrant all morning
mint shoots
Ann K. Schwader
(0,0,5) = 5 Pts
country stillness —
butterflies create wind
around spring's yarrow
ARW
(0,0,5) = 5 Pts
changing
the baby's diaper
mint sprig in her hair
Ben Gieske
(0,1,3) = 5 Pts
A good combination of sweet and concise.
green chives garnishing spring
Beth Powell
(1,0,2) = 5 Pts
wild mint
a real estate agent praises
the shopping
ed markowski
(0,1,3) = 5 Pts
spring rain
a sprinkle of dried thyme
goes into the pot
jblain
(1,0,2) = 5 Pts
mating season
the cat's unbridled passion
for catnip
Jennifer Corpe
(0,2,1) = 5 Pts
bright morning
rosemary spills
into the shade
Jon Baldwin
(0,1,3) = 5 Pts
seaward path —
each footfall yields the scent
of wild thyme
jon davey
(0,1,3) = 5 Pts
warm neem leaves —
the smell of spring forest
in my bathwater
kala ramesh
(0,1,3) = 5 Pts
outdoor ballerinas
daffodils flutter
in the clover
Meggy
(0,1,3) = 5 Pts
first day of spring —
she questions my cooking
with tarragon
Mike Montreuil
(0,0,5) = 5 Pts
two drunks
pissing on the rosemary
April moon
Oliver Mead
(0,1,3) = 5 Pts
This made me laugh.
fresh mint
at midnight —
first trimester
Roberta Beary
(0,0,5) = 5 Pts
our old house
with its wild mint patch —
all gone now
Shelley Krause
(1,0,2) = 5 Pts
self sown
dill escapes
his ex-wife's garden
tom painting
(0,1,3) = 5 Pts
Fifteenth – Four Points
tainted milk
they scour the pasture hedgerow
for wild garlic
andrea
(0,1,2) = 4 Pts
While I find the second line a little long, the image is pitch-perfect - just a few words to create a very detailed scene.
tea picking
a maiden's song
on my lips
Apurva Iyengar
(0,1,2) = 4 Pts
chewing fresh mint
we kiss over the stove —
late dinner
David Grayson
(0,1,2) = 4 Pts
spring term...
sharing a spliff
on the fire escape
Helen Buckingham
(0,1,2,) = 4 Pts
parsley
so green it throbs —
spring rain
Irene Golas
(0,1,2) = 4 Pts
just to be blue...
in its secluded corner
rosemary blooms
Marlène Buitelaar
(0,0,4) = 4 Pts
rubbing basil
between my fingers —
the taste of your kiss
Neil Muscott
(0,0,4) = 4 Pts
the scent of lemon balm
in April moonlight
heat lightning shimmers
patricia a. boutilier
(0,0,4) = 4 Pts
Sixteenth Place – Three Points
backpacking solo
the taste of mint tea
redefined
Agnes Eva Savich
(0,0,3) = 3 Pts
high tea —
her son swaps parsley
for cannabis
Allison Millcock
(0,1,1) = 3 Pts
This one made me actually laugh and go back to read it again.
sweet fennel leaves
near the river path
a down-filled nest
Barbara Snow
( 0,0,3) = 3 Pts
on a catnip high
my cat mistakes my fingers
for more lawful prey
Deirdre Godwin
(0,1,1) = 3 Pts
pots of herbs
except for the mint
name tags
doris kasson
(0,0,3) = 3 Pts
city garden plots
clay pots of sage and thyme
on fire escape steps
Edward
(0,1,1) = 3 Pts
We have to get some
parsley, sage, rosemary, and —
what else did we need?
Horst Ludwig
(0,1,1) = 3 Pts
Amusing!
grass in pot
neighbour stares when told
it is for cancer
john tiong chunghoo
(0,1,1) = 3 Pts
so much wild thyme —
an early robin
chirrups my hoe
Lin Geary
(0,0,3) = 3 Pts
potted herbs
in the warming sun —
new apartment
Marylouise Knight
(0,0,3) = 3 Pts
dinner guests —
the kitchen basil
withered
max verhart
(0,0,3) = 3 Pts
General Comments:
So many wonderful haiku from which to choose!
A Very savory bunch of poems in this Kigo batch.
The majority of the submitted haiku for the April kigo entry had more than one kigo. This multiplication of kigo diluted the effect of the haiku's resonance.
Specific Comment:
12th Place:
exploring a new trail wild mint at the end
By changing the order and getting rid of the verb (which is unnecessary as it is implied in "new"), wild mint is at the end for the reader too.
a new trail...
at its end
wild mint
As I understand it, this time we had to ensure that our herb was to be used as the kigo, which means the haiku must be in harmony with spring. Many different plants were used as herbs, culinary and medicinal, but some excellent haiku unfortunately didn't really harmonize with the season [e.g. 41, 106], which would have been fine in the Free Format category. Some used double-kigo or double kireji and would improve with editing.
Free Format Theme:
Rust
First Place – Thirty-six Points
night sky
the rusted tin roof
leaking moonlight
Melissa Spurr
(3,6,15) = 36 Pts
A very lovely image here.
Here the pleasant surprise of what is leaked almost overcomes my dismay at the throw-away first line.Moonlight tells us it is night and implies 'sky'.
Second Place – Twenty-six Points
bullet holes
rust bleeds down
the old sign
Neil Muscott
(2,3,14) = 26 Pts
I think the image here is just awesome. The word "bleeds" is perfect for this poem.
As if the color of old blood might leak from the man-made sign.
Again, there is that helplessness before inexplicable, random acts of violence.
Thinking of what else might have bled as a result of other bullets makes this thought provoking. "Bleeds' is perfect here.
Third Place – Twenty-three Points
rusted pickup
on the edge of town —
prairie wind
Beth Powell
(1,5,10) = 23 Pts
where the barn's tin roof
rusted through
Mars
ed markowski
(1,5,10) = 23 Pts
Excellent - I loved the contrast between the down-to-earth barn and the planet in the sky.
This, to me, is probably the best haiku in this section. So simple,
yet evocative and effective!
Very effective use of the space of the poem to contribute to the image.
Fourth Place – Nineteen Points
counting the years
since her death
the rusty yard swing
bre
(2,1,11) = 19 Pts
Fifth Place – Seventeen Points
midlife crisis —
a little rust spot
on the red sports car
Linda Papanicolaou
(1,3,8) = 17 Pts
Shades of red, the one modifying or contrasting with the other, 'live forever' vs. 'decay'.
Fifth Place – Sixteen Points
priming the pump
the first gush rustier
than the can
Gene Doty
(2,3,4) = 16 Points
a rusty swing
seagull cries
on the wind
shanna
(2,3,4) = 16 Points
Good juxtaposition in the similarity of sounds from the swing and seagull's cries. Also the 'scent' link between the two is evocative of the lonely feeling that can come from our helplessness before the passage of time and the vastness of echoing space.
Sixth Place – Twelve Points
entangled
in a rusty rake
morning-glory
Betty
(0,2,8) = 12 Pts
rusty wind chimes
the wind
doesn't mind
Elena Naskova
(0,4,4) = 12 Pts
I love wind chimes! And the repeated use of the long-I sound makes this haiku musical.
nursing home visit —
same rust stain
in the sink
Roberta Beary
(1,2,5) = 12 Pts
rusty shovel
he lets his grandson
find the worms
Susan Constable
(1,3,3) = 12 Pts
Seventh Place – Eleven Points
colonial coin
in the rust
a young queen
john tiong chunghoo
(0,0,11) = 11 Pts
A keen observation!
Eighth Place – Ten Points
autumn colors
an abandoned school bus
rusts in the woods
Bill Kenney
(01,8) = 10 Pts
the neighbors
still don't speak
rust on the chain
DeVar
(01,8) = 10 Pts
I love the analogy here. Cold war between the neighbors and the rusting chain.
What a great way to show a long-standing feud between neighbors.
Ninth Place – Nine Points
another spring
the rusted tractor
deeper in the yard
Joann
(0,2,5) = 9 Pts
All those things we want to get around to, yet another year goes by . . . and another and another. Soon we're buried in our "stuff," just like the tractor gets buried through neglect.
Route 66
tumbleweed stuck
on a rusted gate
Sherry Weaver Smith
(0,1,7) = 9 Pts
Tenth Place – Eight Points
a robin splashes
in the rusted wheelbarrow
lingering rain
Catherine J.S. Lee
(0,0,8) = 8 Pts
weeds —
fencing pliers
rusted open
mike farley
(0,2,4) = 8 Pts
winter's end…
a wrinkled hand rubs
the fence's rust
Rita Odeh
(0,3,2) = 8 Pts
Eleventh Place – Seven Points
rusty sewing needles
on faded pin cushion
spring cleaning
Audrey Downey
(0,3,1) = 7 Pts
ground fog
the rusty aeroplane
flies again
Jacek M.
(0,1,5) = 7 Pts
summer passes —
the iron gate
still rusting
Marylouise Knight
(0,2,3) = 7 Pts
after so much rain,
can that be rust
in the blue jay's cry?
Shelley Krause
(0,2,3) = 7 Pts
Each time I read this, I hear a different variation on the jay's cry.
I'm not particularly fond of sentence haiku or of question marks, but they both work for me with this sense of humor!
Twelfth Place – Six Points
early spring
startled by the voice
of the rusty gate
Earl Keener
(0,1,4) = 6 Pts
early spring
the old shed door
rusted shut
Meredith Stern Cavalieri
(1,1,1) = 6 Pts
weeks of April showers
even my bones
begin to rust
soji
(0,3,0) = 6 Pts
the recluse
her front gate hangs
from a rusty hinge
tom
(0,2,2) = 6 Pts
Thirteenth Place – Five Points
deep rust
on the letter opener
hunter's moon
Alice Frampton
(0,0,5) = 5 Pts
Many layers in this one. Love "hunter's moon."
the clock above the bar
blurred with rust —
I order another beer
David Grayson
(0,1,3) = 5 Pts
through the rust
of an old bicycle wheel
spring nettles grow
Frances McCarthy
(0,0,5) = 5 Pts
old house —
wide open
rusty gate
goblet
(0,1,3) = 5 Pts
spring breeze
open gate's rusty hinges
join birdsong
Janice
(0,1,3) = 5 Pts
old iron gate —
still holding on
to the rust
kala ramesh
(0,1,3) = 5 Pts
I sometimes feel like that old iron gate - holding on to things that are really no longer of use, but wondering what will be left in my life if I give all the unneeded things away.
fallen leaves
on a rusty merry-go-round
a man hurries past
Li Ree
(1,0,2) = 5 Pts
There is a story in this one. Good image.
I like the mystery in this, the contrast between things and time.
rust
on the keyhole
cottage for sale
Meggy
(0,0,5) = 5 Pts
autumn rain
the abandoned ballpark
weeps rust
rob scott
(0,1,3) = 5 Pts
old tree-house . . .
a shade of rust
in the sunrise
Ron Moss
(0,1,3) = 5 Pts
a maze of
rusted nails —
a lonely ant
Vishnu Narayanan
(0,0,5) = 5 Pts
two years a widow...
his garden tools
rust in the shed
Zhanna P. Rader
(0,2,1) = 5 Pts
Fourteenth Place – Four Points
a parking meter
with a bit of rust
but not enough
Barbara Snow
(0,0,4) = 4 Pts
missing dad
sandpapering rust
off his old tool box
dsnake1
(1,0,1) = 4 Pts
I really liked the combination of looking back _and_ moving on.
on the red wagon
his name
in rust
Lin Geary
(0,0,4) = 4 Pts
spring again
rusty tools
from last year
Mr. PC
(0,1,2) = 4 Pts
cold evening —
April rain falling through
the rusty roof
Stephen Nzomo
(1,0,1) = 4 Pts
You can really feel the desolation and chill in this place.
Fifteenth Place – Three Points
pottery shed —
rusty water sputters
from the faucet
Ami
(0,0,3) = =3 Pts
searching for the cat
through wrecked cars covered with rust
wind whistles and moans
ARW
(1,0,0) = 3 Pts
final anchorage...
sunset and rust on old
fisherman's hands
Dejan Pavlinovic
(0,0,3) = =3 Pts
all rusty
in the newly turned compost pile
the missing trowel
fedelmia
(0,1,1) = 3 Pts
on the ring
more than one
rusty key
Francine Banwarth
(0,0,3) = =3 Pts
clapboard shack
the tap splutters out
a flake of pipe
Josh Wikoff
(0,1,1) = 3 Pts
roadside Christ —
where the gilt was
rust
max verhart
(0,1,1) = 3 Pts
pomegranate
faded to rust
still clings to her branch
miriam chaikin
(0,1,1) = 3 Pts
my key screeching
in the rusty padlock —
April rain
Patrick Wafula
(1,0,0) = 3 Pts
spring sun —
the rust on the bicycle
comes off easily
Pia Sosua
(0,0,3) = =3 Pts
General Comments:
Wish I had more points to spent. A fine selection of haiku!
These were especially difficult to choose, as man