April 2008 Kukai

Kigo Theme:

Any Herb

First Place – Thirty-one Points

gathering thyme . . .

the thoughts that come

when I'm on my knees

Francine Banwarth

(1,9,10) = 31 Pts

For me 'thyme' has an echo of 'time' and by extension the timelessness infinity of prayer.

What is it about picking fresh herbs that brings us into a contemplative state? A beautifully executed haiku.

Second Place – Twenty-three Points

tax day—

a bit of parsley

in his smile

Josh Wikoff

(2,5,7) = 23 Pts

I really like the simple humor of this one, tying in with the innovative seasonal reference of 'tax day'.

Third place – Twenty Points

lavender —

even the old stems

fragrant

jill

(1,2,13) = 20 Pts

Elegant, just like lavender.

A perfect little morsel of a poem.

moonlit field

the cows knee-deep

in comfrey

larisa

(1,3,11) = 20 Pts

I don't even know what comfrey looks like, but this haiku conjures up a powerful image of cows, adrift on a sea of leaf.

Although I've never experienced this before, I have now. It's a treat for the senses, full of it's own lovely sounds.

Fourth Place – Fifteen Points

dark clumps

of wild onion scent

her dreams

Gene Doty

(2,2,5) = 15 Pts

Fifth Place – Fourteen Points

the empty house —

chives and parsley

gone to seed

Alice Frampton

(0,2,10) = 14 Pts

A good complementary juxtaposition.  Not sure if there's a 'deeper' meaning for this particular choice of herbs. If so, Google didn't tell me in time.

A lovely way to show loss and neglect, while giving us hope that all is not lost, as long as there are fertile seeds remaining.

the night she passed —

moonlight shadows

in wild lavender

Ron Moss

(0,3,8) = 14 Pts

Sixth Place – Thirteen Points

dried spring herbs —

I still

love her

Israel Lopez Balan

(1,2,6) = 13 Pts

Conveys loss and longing without overdoing it.

spicing up the stew

she hands me coriander

in that dress

rob scott

(1,1,8) = 13 Pts

Great, simple image from everyday life, with a dash of wit!

Seventh Place – Twelve Points

flowered curtains

the scent of lavender

drifts through them

Melissa Spurr

(0,3,6) = 12 Pts

silence of dawn...

I stir my tea with

cinnamon stick

Vanja Nikovic

(1,3,3) = 12 Pts

Eighth Place – Eleven Points

the first season without you —

preparing lamb

with powdered thyme

Joyce Clement

(0,2,7) = 11 Pts

nettle leaf

when I come home late

her tongue

Norsto

(0,2,7) = 11 Pts

Ninth Place – Ten Points

cool shadows

under the cliff swallows' nests

water cress

Bridget Cougar

91,2,3) = 10 Pts

spring cleaning

sage retires

to a higher shelf

Deb Bauer

(0,3,4) = 10 Pts

Clever pun. I'm wondering if This 'sage' is a yang element.

the discolored Christ

in a roadside chapel

fresh chamomiles

Dorota Pyra

(0,2,6) = 10 Pts

soaking wet

under the witch hazel tree

your loud laughter

Elena Naskova

(1,2,3,) = 10 Pts

Tenth Place – Nine Points

long afterwards

the tang of wild mint

on your palms

Beverley George

(0,1,7) = 9 Pts

There is a hint of sensuality in this one. "The tang of wild mint" is a good construction.

Eleventh Place – Eight Points

always different

he names the puppy

Mugwort

Carmel Lively Westerman

(0,3,2) = 8 Pts

I love this!

spring crossing —

ants parade

from parsley to thyme

Mary Davila

(0,2,4) = 8 Pts

Love this one!

still pond

tiny ripples in the mint

and marsh grass

mike farley

(0,1,6) = 8 Pts

The ripples in the mint are beautifully unexpected.

Twelfth Place – Seven Points

exploring a new trail wild mint at the end

w. f. owen

(2,0,1) = 7 Pts

A beautiful thought, it brought me right to the scene.

A brilliant stroke--the one-line format is absolutely perfect for this depiction of a trail, with the word "end" cleverly and appropriately placed at the end.  The juxtaposed concepts of "new trail" and "wild mint" are ideal mutual compliments. This is impeccably crafted; a superb haiku.

Thirteenth Place – Six Points

gaol garden walk —

floating in the air

a sense of thyme

Lech Szeglowski

(0,1,4) = 6 Pts

sagebrush sea;

swishing the scented air-

a sparrow.

manoj saranathan

(1,0,3) = 6 Pts

spring sun

even the thyme out

of the shadow

og_a

(1,0,3) = 6 Pts

A very subtle expression of the magnificent mechanics that tilt the earth on its axis.

bitter herbs,

apples, walnuts, honey —

life goes on

Robert Ertman

(0,1,4) = 6 Pts

I like how this evokes Passover without spelling it out.

lonely spring

in my herb garden

shoots of rue

Ruth

(0,2,2) = 6 Pts

spring wind

the rock wall draped

in woolly thyme

Susan Constable

(0,0,6) = 6 Pts

Fourteenth Place – Five Points

my fingers

fragrant all morning

mint shoots

Ann K. Schwader

(0,0,5) = 5 Pts

country stillness —

butterflies create wind

around spring's yarrow

ARW

(0,0,5) = 5 Pts

changing

the baby's diaper

mint sprig in her hair

Ben Gieske

(0,1,3) = 5 Pts

A good combination of sweet and concise.

green chives garnishing spring

Beth Powell

(1,0,2) = 5 Pts

wild mint

 a real estate agent praises

the shopping

ed markowski

(0,1,3) = 5 Pts

spring rain

a sprinkle of dried thyme

goes into the pot

jblain

(1,0,2) = 5 Pts

mating season

the cat's unbridled passion

for catnip

Jennifer Corpe

(0,2,1) = 5 Pts

bright morning

rosemary spills

into the shade

Jon Baldwin

(0,1,3) = 5 Pts

seaward path —

each footfall yields the scent

of wild thyme

jon davey

(0,1,3) = 5 Pts

warm neem leaves —

the smell of spring forest

in my bathwater  

kala ramesh

(0,1,3) = 5 Pts

outdoor ballerinas

daffodils flutter

in the clover

Meggy

(0,1,3) = 5 Pts

first day of spring —

she questions my cooking

with tarragon

Mike Montreuil

(0,0,5) = 5 Pts

two drunks

pissing on the rosemary

April moon

Oliver Mead

(0,1,3) = 5 Pts

This made me laugh.

fresh mint

at midnight —

first trimester

Roberta Beary

(0,0,5) = 5 Pts

our old house

with its wild mint patch  —

all gone now

Shelley Krause

(1,0,2) = 5 Pts

self sown

dill escapes

his ex-wife's garden

tom painting

(0,1,3) = 5 Pts

Fifteenth – Four Points

tainted milk

they scour the pasture hedgerow

for wild garlic

andrea

(0,1,2) = 4 Pts

While I find the second line a little long, the image is pitch-perfect - just a few words to create a very detailed scene.

tea picking

a maiden's song

on my lips

Apurva Iyengar

(0,1,2) = 4 Pts

chewing fresh mint

we kiss over the stove —

late dinner

David Grayson

(0,1,2) = 4 Pts

spring term...

    sharing a spliff

  on the fire escape

Helen Buckingham

(0,1,2,) = 4 Pts

parsley

so green it throbs —

spring rain

Irene Golas

(0,1,2) = 4 Pts

just to be blue...

in its secluded corner

rosemary blooms

Marlène Buitelaar

(0,0,4) = 4 Pts

rubbing basil

between my fingers —

the taste of your kiss

Neil Muscott

(0,0,4) = 4 Pts

the scent of lemon balm

in April moonlight

heat lightning shimmers

patricia a. boutilier

(0,0,4) = 4 Pts

Sixteenth Place – Three Points

backpacking solo

the taste of mint tea

redefined

Agnes Eva Savich

(0,0,3) = 3 Pts

high tea —

her son swaps parsley

for cannabis

Allison Millcock

(0,1,1) = 3 Pts

This one made me actually laugh and go back to read it again.

sweet fennel leaves

near the river path

a down-filled nest

Barbara Snow

( 0,0,3) = 3 Pts

on a catnip high

my cat mistakes my fingers

for more lawful prey

Deirdre Godwin

(0,1,1) = 3 Pts

pots of herbs

except for the mint

name tags

doris kasson

(0,0,3) = 3 Pts

city garden plots

clay pots of sage and thyme

on fire escape steps

Edward

(0,1,1) = 3 Pts

We have to get some

parsley, sage, rosemary, and —

what else did we need?

Horst Ludwig

(0,1,1) = 3 Pts

Amusing!

grass in pot

neighbour stares when told

it is for cancer

john tiong chunghoo

(0,1,1) = 3 Pts

so much wild thyme —

an early robin

chirrups my hoe

Lin Geary

(0,0,3) = 3 Pts

potted herbs

in the warming sun —

new apartment

Marylouise Knight

(0,0,3) = 3 Pts

dinner guests —

the kitchen basil

withered

max verhart

(0,0,3) = 3 Pts

General Comments:

So many wonderful haiku from which to choose!

A Very savory bunch of poems in this Kigo batch.

The majority of the submitted haiku for the April kigo entry had more than one kigo. This multiplication of kigo diluted the effect of the haiku's resonance.

Specific Comment:

12th Place:

exploring a new trail wild mint at the end

By changing the order and getting rid of the verb (which is unnecessary as it is implied in "new"), wild mint is at the end for the reader too.   

a new trail...

at its end

wild mint

As I understand it, this time we had to ensure that our herb was to be used as the kigo, which means the haiku must be in harmony with spring. Many different plants were used as herbs, culinary and medicinal, but some excellent haiku unfortunately didn't really harmonize with the season [e.g. 41, 106], which would have been fine in the Free Format category. Some used double-kigo or double kireji and would improve with editing.

Free Format Theme:

Rust

First Place – Thirty-six Points

night sky

the rusted tin roof

leaking moonlight

Melissa Spurr

(3,6,15) = 36 Pts

A very lovely image here.

Here the pleasant surprise of what is leaked almost overcomes my dismay at the throw-away first line.Moonlight tells us it is night and implies 'sky'.

Second Place – Twenty-six Points

bullet holes

rust bleeds down

the old sign

Neil Muscott

(2,3,14) = 26 Pts

I think the image here is just awesome. The word "bleeds" is perfect for this poem.

As if the color of old blood might leak from the man-made sign.

Again, there is that helplessness before inexplicable, random acts of violence.

Thinking of what else might have bled as a result of other bullets makes this thought provoking. "Bleeds' is perfect here.

Third Place – Twenty-three Points

rusted pickup

on the edge of town —

prairie wind

Beth Powell

(1,5,10) = 23 Pts

where the barn's tin roof

   rusted          through

              Mars

ed markowski

(1,5,10) = 23 Pts

Excellent - I loved the contrast between the down-to-earth barn and the planet in the sky.

This, to me, is probably the best haiku in this section. So simple,

yet evocative and effective!

Very effective use of the space of the poem to contribute to the image.

Fourth Place – Nineteen Points

counting the years

since her death

the rusty yard swing

bre

(2,1,11) = 19 Pts

Fifth Place – Seventeen Points

midlife crisis —

a little rust spot

on the red sports car

Linda Papanicolaou

(1,3,8) = 17 Pts

Shades of red, the one modifying or contrasting with the other, 'live forever' vs. 'decay'.

Fifth Place – Sixteen Points

priming the pump

the first gush rustier

than the can

Gene Doty

(2,3,4) = 16 Points

a rusty swing

seagull cries

on the wind

shanna

(2,3,4) = 16 Points

Good juxtaposition in the similarity of sounds from the swing and seagull's cries. Also the 'scent' link between the two is evocative of the lonely feeling that can come from our helplessness before the passage of time and the vastness of echoing space.

Sixth Place – Twelve Points

entangled

in a rusty rake

morning-glory

Betty

(0,2,8) = 12 Pts

rusty wind chimes

the wind

doesn't mind

Elena Naskova

(0,4,4) = 12 Pts

I love wind chimes! And the repeated use of the long-I sound makes this haiku musical.

nursing home visit —

same rust stain

in the sink

Roberta Beary

(1,2,5) = 12 Pts

rusty shovel

he lets his grandson

find the worms

Susan Constable

(1,3,3) = 12 Pts

Seventh Place – Eleven Points

colonial coin

in the rust

a young queen

john tiong chunghoo

(0,0,11) = 11 Pts

A keen observation!

Eighth Place – Ten Points

autumn colors

an abandoned school bus

rusts in the woods

Bill Kenney

(01,8) = 10 Pts

the neighbors

still don't speak

rust on the chain

DeVar

(01,8) = 10 Pts

I love the analogy here. Cold war between the neighbors and the rusting chain.

What a great way to show a long-standing feud between neighbors.

Ninth Place – Nine Points

another spring

the rusted tractor

deeper in the yard

Joann

(0,2,5) = 9 Pts

All those things we want to get around to, yet another year goes by . . . and another and another. Soon we're buried in our "stuff," just like the tractor gets buried through neglect.

Route 66

tumbleweed stuck

on a rusted gate

Sherry Weaver Smith

(0,1,7) = 9 Pts

Tenth Place – Eight Points

a robin splashes

in the rusted wheelbarrow

lingering rain

Catherine J.S. Lee

(0,0,8) = 8 Pts

weeds —

fencing pliers

rusted open

mike farley

(0,2,4) = 8 Pts

winter's end…

a wrinkled hand rubs

the fence's rust

Rita Odeh

(0,3,2) = 8 Pts

Eleventh Place – Seven Points

rusty sewing needles

on faded pin cushion

spring cleaning

Audrey Downey

(0,3,1) = 7 Pts

ground fog

the rusty aeroplane

flies again

Jacek M.

(0,1,5) = 7 Pts

summer passes —

the iron gate

still rusting

Marylouise Knight

(0,2,3) = 7 Pts

after so much rain,

can that be rust

in the blue jay's cry?

Shelley Krause

(0,2,3) = 7 Pts

Each time I read this, I hear a different variation on the jay's cry.

I'm not particularly fond of sentence haiku or of question marks, but they both work for me with this sense of humor!

Twelfth Place – Six Points

early spring

startled by the voice

of the rusty gate

Earl Keener

(0,1,4) = 6 Pts

early spring

the old shed door

rusted shut

Meredith Stern Cavalieri

(1,1,1) = 6 Pts

weeks of April showers

even my bones

begin to rust

soji

(0,3,0) = 6 Pts

the recluse

her front gate hangs

from a rusty hinge

tom

(0,2,2) = 6 Pts

Thirteenth Place – Five Points

deep rust

on the letter opener

hunter's moon

Alice Frampton

(0,0,5) = 5 Pts

Many layers in this one. Love "hunter's moon."

the clock above the bar

blurred with rust —

I order another beer

David Grayson

(0,1,3) = 5 Pts

through the rust

of an old bicycle wheel

spring nettles grow

Frances McCarthy

(0,0,5) = 5 Pts

old house —

wide open

rusty gate

goblet

(0,1,3) = 5 Pts

spring breeze

open gate's rusty hinges

join birdsong

Janice

(0,1,3) = 5 Pts

old iron gate —

still holding on

to the rust

kala ramesh

(0,1,3) = 5 Pts

I sometimes feel like that old iron gate - holding on to things that are really no longer of use, but wondering what will be left in my life if I give all the unneeded things away.

fallen leaves

on a rusty merry-go-round

a man hurries past

Li Ree

(1,0,2) = 5 Pts

There is a story in this one. Good image.

I like the mystery in this, the contrast between things and time.

rust

on the keyhole

cottage for sale

Meggy

(0,0,5) = 5 Pts

autumn rain

the abandoned ballpark

weeps rust

rob scott

(0,1,3) = 5 Pts

old tree-house . . .

a shade of rust

in the sunrise

Ron Moss

(0,1,3) = 5 Pts

a maze of

rusted nails —

a lonely ant

Vishnu Narayanan

(0,0,5) = 5 Pts

two years a widow...

his garden tools

rust in the shed

Zhanna P. Rader

(0,2,1) = 5 Pts

Fourteenth Place – Four Points

a parking meter

with a bit of rust

but not enough

Barbara Snow

(0,0,4) = 4 Pts

missing dad

sandpapering rust

off his old tool box

dsnake1

(1,0,1) = 4 Pts

I really liked the combination of looking back _and_ moving on.

on the red wagon

his name

in rust

Lin Geary

(0,0,4) = 4 Pts

spring again

rusty tools

from last year

Mr. PC

(0,1,2) = 4 Pts

cold evening —

April rain falling through

the rusty roof

Stephen Nzomo

(1,0,1) = 4 Pts

You can really feel the desolation and chill in this place.

Fifteenth Place – Three Points

pottery shed —

rusty water sputters

from the faucet

Ami

(0,0,3) = =3 Pts

searching for the cat

through wrecked cars covered with rust

wind whistles and moans

ARW

(1,0,0) = 3 Pts

final anchorage...

sunset and rust on old

fisherman's hands

Dejan Pavlinovic

(0,0,3) = =3 Pts

all rusty

in the newly turned compost pile

the missing trowel

fedelmia

(0,1,1) = 3 Pts

on the ring

more than one

rusty key

Francine Banwarth

(0,0,3) = =3 Pts

clapboard shack

the tap splutters out

a flake of pipe

Josh Wikoff

(0,1,1) = 3 Pts

roadside Christ —

where the gilt was

rust

max verhart

(0,1,1) = 3 Pts

pomegranate

faded to rust

still clings to her branch

miriam chaikin

(0,1,1) = 3 Pts

my key screeching

in the rusty padlock —

April rain

Patrick Wafula

(1,0,0) = 3 Pts

spring sun —

the rust on the bicycle

comes off easily

Pia Sosua

(0,0,3) = =3 Pts

General Comments:

Wish I had more points to spent. A fine selection of haiku!

These were especially difficult to choose, as man