Congratulations to Rafal Zabratynski, winner of our Kigo section and to Karen J. McClintock, winner of our Free Format section!
July 2009 Results
Kigo Theme:
Mold/Mildew
First Place -- 24 points
abandoned house
mold adds its pattern
to the wallpaper
Rafal Zabratynski
(1,4,13) = 24 pts
Such a common occurrence in old houses! A good observation, clearly and simply written.
Second Place -- 23 points
garden path
the old-forest fragrance
of leaf mold
Catherine J.S. Lee
(2,3,11) = 23 pts
thrift store painting
a pony dappled
with mildew
Melissa Spurr
(0,7,9) = 23 pts
Although I'd be tempted to change the line order and breaks, I love this dappled pony.
Third Place -- 22 points
summer house—
the calligraphy
of mildew
j cully
(2,4,8) = 22 pts
Fourth Place -- 21 points
morning sun-
the delicate peaks
of bread mold
Agnes Eva Savich
(2,4,7) = 21 pts
L1 & 2 set this up beautifully, without feeling at all contrived. And mold, especially under a microscope, is incredibly beautiful!
Fifth Place -- 19 points
moldy cheese -
a full moon glows
in the fog
Darrell
(1,5,6) = 19 pts
Sixth Place -- 18 points
trial separation
I dust her roses
for powdery mildew
Tom Painting
(3,1,7) = 18 pts
Seventh Place -- 15 points
monsoons¬
a row of mold-speckled shoes
at the entrance
Barbara A Taylor
(0,5,5) = 15 pts
August vacation
the forgotten peaches
mold in silence
Edward
(0,5,5) = 15 pts
Eighth Place -- 14 points
the mildew stain
on the ceiling
wedding night
Roberta Beary
(1,3,5) = 14 pts
A haiku so full of so many layers of meaning... of sadness too... but we don't know how the story ends. The third line comes as a real shock. So well composed!
cedar shingle mildew
the same shade of grey
on her hair
Audrey Downey
(0,5,4) = 14 pts
bookbinder’s workshop
he brushes a speck of mold
from my old Shakespeare
Patricia Prime
(0,3,8) = 14 pts
I like the use of the word speck, to resonate attention to detail.
Ninth Place -- 13 points
wartime diary
the smell of mildew
of all my youth
Dorota Pyra
(1,1,8) = 13 pts
Tenth Place -- 12 points
hard times
cutting the mold
off the cheese
gourdman
(1,0,9) = 12 pts
A succinct statement; a direct no nonsense haiku.
first argument ~
on the bedroom ceiling
a blossom of mold
Paul Hodder
(0,3,6) = 12 pts
Not a good way to end the evening, but I think the juxtaposition is well worth it!
Eleventh Place -- 11 points
his love for her
only the love letters grew
old and moldy
Bill Hudson
(0,3,5) = 11 pts
family bible—
mildew wafts from the pages
my father once turned
Penny Harter
(0,2,7) = 11 pts
Twelfth Place -- 10 points
alone now
mold on the dishes
in the sink
Robert Ertman
(0,3,4) = 10 pts
setting moon . . .
white mold dwindles
the old potato
Mary Davila
(0,2,6) = 10 pts
Thirteenth Place -- 9 points
mildew-
those shoes I always
threatened to wear
Barbara Campitelli
(1,1,4) = 9 pts
Fourteenth Place -- 8 points
chilly dawn
golden fungi rising
through the leaf mold
Elaine Riddell
(0,3,2) = 8 pts
midlife
the rose leaves touched
by mildew
Beth Powell
(0,3,2) = 8 pts
leaving the hospital
the scent of mildew
on the bus seats
Diane Mayr
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
All-Star Game . . .
my glove from the cellar
musty with mildew
Bill Pauly
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
Spanning time and awakening senses; presenting memories and memorabilia; a good reminiscing haiku.
Fifteenth Place -- 7 points
Guacamole
she tells her mother-in-law —
the moldy tortilla
Karen J. McClintock
(1,1,2) = 7 pts
years have passed
mold has grown
on the lovers' hearts
todd eddy
(1,0,4) = 7 pts
the scent of leaf mold
deep in the forest
a twig snaps
Jennifer Corpe
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
Nice appeal to the senses; the word 'deep' adds intrigue.
Sixteenth Place -- 6 points
mildew
in the bathhouse
scent of chlorine
doris Kasson
(0,2,2) = 6 pts
Seventeenth Place -- 5 points
slow mold in the bank-
My billfold of ideas
grows fat and lazy.
C Johanson
(1,1,0) = 5 pts
Southern hospitality
mildew in my shoe
Carolyn Coit Dancy
(1,0,2) = 5 pts
garbage can —
the stray dog wolfs
the moldy meat
Gautam Nadkarni
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
the foxing
on an old print
bearded lady
Barbara Snow
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
sixtieth birthday
a little mildew forming
on the shower tiles
Tom Genovese
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
musty smell
from the mildewed pages-
I read the book anyway
Ellen Romano
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
table for two-
besides a strong espresso
a mildew rose
oana posnaies
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
turned daily
the ripening wheel
of Stilton blue
Alan S. Bridges
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
St. Patrick's Day...
a green coat of mold
at the back of the fridge
Elinor Pihl Huggett
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
Eighteenth Place -- 4 points
sunny memories gawk
through a toothless smile
of a pale moldy photo
Nalini Hebbar
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
grief stricken hunger
dug hand deep rain soaked garbage
blossomed musty mould
Rajgiri Hebbar
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
a live kitten . . .
the dead soldier's
mildewed boot
Michael McClintock
(0,2,0) = 4 pts
camp out
we pick the mold
off the bread
carmel lively westerman
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
apple molds
in blue and gray
the academy
Garry Eaton
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
front stoop
mildew creeps up
the stairs
Meggy
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
summer rain
last year's moldy gourds
even softer
Robin Beshers
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
Nineteenth Place -- 3 points
By my garden gate
a whole forest of mold,
shadow on gingerbread.
mechaieh
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
Wet and moldy
Babbling ditchwater serves
As my only companion
James Sawers
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
jungle outpost -
the last soldier,
mildew in his boots
A. Dharma Bum
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
after the rain -
a crack in the moldy wall
pushes out a weed
gillena
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
under the banyan
mildew in the shape
of buttocks
Nancy Smith
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
mildew -
the sound in the night
of a mosquito
ARW
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
farmer's angst:
acres of vineyards
in downy mildew
Keith A. Simmonds
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
This line 1 is a winner.
summer house
mildew and silverfish
run riot
Ruth Powell
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
the ex-wives—
he scrapes some mold
off the cheese
DeVar
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
beach resort—
a mold-shaped mouse
on the gluetrap
anonymous
Free Format Theme:
Boat/Ship
First Place -- 32 pts
in the shipwreck
a china doll
with open eyes
Karen J. McClintock
(3,5,13) = 32 pts
I like the surprise in Line 3.
A doll is skillfully used here to help us imagine the fear onboard. Good job!
This one is extraordinary: resonant, evocative, minimal to good effect. The haunting image lingers in my mind.
Second Place -- 29 pts
show and tell
for the AA meeting —
ship in a bottle
— andrea
(4,3,9) = 27 pts
This gave me a chuckle.
Third Place -- 24 pts
evening hush
a kayak parts
the duckweed
Susan Constable
(2,4,10) = 24 pts
Fourth Place -- 20 pts
moonlit marina
the boats lightly rub
against each other
Rafal Zabratynski
(0,5,10) = 20 pts
Fifth Place -- 19 pts
unzipping
the world in two
a ship's wake
Dejan Pavlinovic
(1,5,6) = 19 pts
Sixth Place -- 18 pts
my rowboat
adrift in the blues
summer's end
Tom Painting
(1,4,7) = 18 pts
Seventh Place -- 17 pts
after Katrina
a pirogue weaves
down Bourbon Street
Alan S. Bridges
(1,3,8) = 17 pts
Eighth Place -- 16 pts
going home
all the gulls follow
the fishing boat
Bruce Ross
(1,2,9) = 16 pts
Ninth Place -- 15 pts
the silence
after stowing oars-
boat in mist
Agnes Eva Savich
(0,3,9) = 15 pts
Tenth Place -- 14 pts
hauled into the boat the slap slap slap of a salmon
Andre Surridge
(1,4,3) = 14 pts
I like the alliteration in this one.
autumn sea . . .
a sail sways among
the whitecaps
Darrell
(1,2,7) = 14 pts
her name
on a moored boat
summer ends
Petar Tchouhov
(0,2,10) = 14 pts
Ah . . . perhaps not just the summer has ended. The touch of mystery is interesting.
Eleventh Place -- 12 pts
summer night
a freighter’s horn lengthens
through the fog
Catherine J.S. Lee
(1,2,5) = 12 pts
L2 with 'lengthens' at the end helps us hear what the poet heard.
Twelfth Place -- 11 pts
leaky boat -
just you and me
and the river
Marianna Monaco
(1,2,4) = 11 pts
a fishing boat
rambling upon the sea
towed by the moon
Keith A. Simmonds
(0,4,3) = 11 pts
Thirteenth Place -- 10 pts
the ferry’s wake
amidst a swirl of city lights
her scribbled number
John Thompson
(0,2,6) = 10 pts
Fourteenth Place -- 9 pts
beach panhandler
the ribs of a wrecked ship
jut from the sand
Melissa Spurr
(0,2,5) = 9 pts
goodbyes said . . .
tasting salt
in the boat's wake
Ellen Compton
(0,2,5) = 9 pts
Fifteenth Place -- 8 pts
a lone white sail
breaching the horizon
. . . . then another
Ed Higgins
(1,1,3) = 8 pts
slipknot
the red rowboat
carried out by the tide
Meredith Cavalieri
(0,1,6) = 8 pts
Sixteenth Place -- 7 pts
...when our ship comes in...
a family built on
decades of hope
Merrill Ann Gonzales
(2,0,1) = 7 pts
I thought this was philosophical, abiding, and interestingly written.
calla lilies
a crone rows a skiff
around the lake
Carolyn Hall
(1,0,4) = 7 pts
waving goodbye ~
the ship's
widening wake
Paul Hodder
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
A very well observed scene, which also brings out the feelings of sadness as one watches others leave on a ship.
summer still-life
she colors the rusted boat
purple
Devika
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
alone on the beach
watching a ship disappear
into nothingness
natalia kuznetsova
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
waterline . . .
boats tilting
toward open sea
Patrick M. Pilarski
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
Seventeenth Place -- 6 pts
rippling pond
paddle boats swish by
the water lily
Frances McCarthy
(1,0,3) = 6 pts
crashing waves-
the warship
now a coral reef
A. Dharma Bum
(0,0,6) = 6 pts
Eighteenth Place -- 5 pts
boating dock -
the anchor holds
broken rope
Alexander "Lex" Joy
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
overturned boat,
drawn high on the shore –
drumming of rain
Tomislav
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
A lovely watery haiku. I particularly like the word "drumming" here, as it shows how ample the rainfall is.
a boat rides on a river –
hitchhiking on my shoulder
a butterfly
Daniela Bullas
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
shimmering moonlight
tethered boats
rocking with the stars
Ben Gieske
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
waiting for the wind-
the next paper boat sails
into the sunset
Jacek M.
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
morning mist
a departing boat
betrayed by its mast
Tom Genovese
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
Nineteenth Place -- 4 pts
Cape Cod June—
in the sun
all the boats are new
Marylouise Knight
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
laughter—
tiny boats float
in the kiddie pool
Meggy
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
origami ship
drifts downstream
crescent moon
Terra Martin
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
a red kayak
dipping into the rapids
water ouzel
Barbara Snow
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
Nile wind
fills the felucca’s sail
time travel
Ann K. Schwader
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
Charred boats on the shore.
I, too, have to continue
my journey.
Horst Ludwig
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
rock pool
reflections of rippled light
inside the shipwreck
Elaine RIddell
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
Twentieth Place -- 3 pts
we say, "I do"
in the cruse ship chapel
gardenia scent
John Daleiden
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
there is no-one but
footprints on the beach
from the ship wreck
Washi
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
iron jaws open
to swallow the next ship...
Soo Locks
Elinor Pihl Huggett
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
after the storm
an empty boat floats
towards the beach
D.V. Rozic
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
fireworks ended —
red and green lights
return to the harbor
Deanna Tiefenthal
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
goose bumps . . .
a pirate ship drifts
in the shallows
Jennifer Corpe
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
ocean voyage-
the ship heading for
a double rainbow
Barbara Campitelli
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
sailing
halfway down the drainpipe
his toy boat
doris kasson
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
sail boats line up
to enter the harbour -
we leave with the sun
Mike Montreuil
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
his new boat
the “Swan Song”
Carolyn Coit Dancy (0,0,3) = 3 pts
howling night winds. . .
a catamaran arrives
on a wave
_kala
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
We're left to fill in the story for ourselves: did the boat come in with, or without, its passengers onboard? Nicely done.
canoe moves
slowly in circles
she doesn't get it
Diane Mayr
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
shipwreck -
on the waves
only a bottle
Virginia Popescu
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
General Comments:
This is always fun, thank you!
As usual the haiku were very difficult to pick from. They are all so well written and evoke lasting impressions.
A hard choice this time, made only slightly easier by ruling out the haiku which did not use "mold" or "mildew" as a genuine kigo.
This theme seemed to produce a fair number of desk haiku and some picture book scenes a bit too twee for haiku. There still remained excellent haiku to take the points!