Congratulations to Beth Powell and Diane Mayr, winners of our Kigo section and to Rob Scott, winner of our Free Format section!
June 2010 Results
Kigo Theme:
Nakedness
First Place — 22 Points
life drawing
the pear shaped curve
of a breast
Beth Powell
(2,5,6) = 22 Points
And
stifling heat —
his mother finally sees
the tattoo
Diane Mayr
(0,7,8) = 22 Points
More of an uh-oh moment than an ah-ha moment! Good one.
A lovely example of allowing the reader to use some imagination and appreciate the subtle reference to nudity.
Second Place — 18 Points
bare foot
stirring
the whole Milky Way
Kurt R. Westley
(2,3,6) = 18 Points
Third Place — 17 Points
strip dancing
the last rose petal
off the stem
Chuck Welt
(1,5,4) = 17 Points
I appreciate the way nudity is alluded to through the image of the last petal having fallen from the rose.
Fourth Place — 15 Points
bath time
grandma's faded rose
tattoo
Paul Hodder
(2,1,7) = 15 Points
I've never read an image more wistfully sad and true.
Fifth Place — 14 Points
sultry noon…
just our heartbeats
between us
Rob Scott
(1,0,11) = 14 Points
A lovely juxtaposition of images, giving us the heat of passion and a subtle reference to nudity.
topless beach
trying not to stare
at her tattoo
Roberta Beary
(0,4,6) = 14 Points
A most elegant twist.
Sixth Place — 13 Points
barefoot on the roof —
the full moon
as it is
Israel Lopez Balan
(2,2,3) = 13 Points
I never viewed the night sky as being in all its naked glory until I read this haiku. The unveiled mystery in such a small poem.
Freezing breeze —
the nakedness
of my old bones
Juhani Tikkanen
(1,4,2) = 13 Points
Hardly a "summer kigo," as the instructions suggested, but an imaginative variation.
sunshine
I count the freckles
on her naked shoulder
Gabriel Sawicki
(0,1,11) = 13 Points
Seventh Place — 12 Points
new baby
a bit slippery
in the bubbles
Barbara Snow
(2,0,6) = 12 Points
after...
her scent lingers
on me
Jacek M.
(0,3,6) = 12 Points
skinnydipper
the Moon swims
In the ripples
Lorraine Margueritte Gasrel Black
(0,1,10) = 12 Points
I really liked the image in this one. I think it might have been even more interesting had it read:
skinny dipper
swimming in the ripples
the moon
Eighth Place — 11 Points
bright night
the smoothness of moonlight
between her breasts
Rafal Zabratynski
(1,2,4) = 11 Points
Ninth Place — 10 Points
junemooned
waterlilied
nightswimmers
Jon Espen Vassbotn
(0,2,6) = 10 Points
Tenth Place — 9 Points
summer hat
a young woman reads
on a nude beach
martin
(0,3,3) = 9 Points
beach day —
changing clothes
behind a towel
Gryta Wansdronk
(0,2,5) = 9 Points
Eleventh Place — 7 Points
naked boy . . .
jumping up and down
in the rains
Kala Ramesh
(1,1,2) = 7 Points
The never ending innocence of children.
midnight bath —
breasts caressed
by silver waves
Isabelle Prondzynski
(0,2,3) = 7 Points
midday sun…
the clothes-optional beach
covered with umbrellas
Michele L. Harvey
(0,2,3) = 7 Points
The middle line was a little cumbersome. I might have just put ‘nudists' beach’. Still, a very vivid haiku.
Eminently practical, when you think about it, but funny even so.
so hot
only the curtain
veils the fireflies
mechaieh
(0,1,5) = 7 Points
out of the lake
we dry each other —
summer moon
Carol Raisfeld
(0,0,7) = 7 Points
Twelfth Place — 6 Points
maternity ward —
a nurse wipes him
into his birthday suit
aom (tim)
(1,0,3) = 6 Points
One of my all time favorites!
A fresh look at a familiar phrase.
wedding night —
slowly
she reveals her body
Barbara Campitelli
(0,2,2) = 6 Points
Thirteenth Place — 5 Points
nude beach
getting the best
of me
Tom Painting
(0,1,3) = 5 Points
Very funny!
old pond
clothes in messy heaps
the sound of water
maxianne
(0,1,3) = 5 Points
moonlit lake
washes even her
goose bumps
C.P.Harrison
(0,0,5) = 5 Points
Fourteenth Place — 4 Points
moonlit beach
glistening water-drops
adorn nakedness
charlie smith
(1,0,1) = 4 Points
the drowsy murmur
of waves...
sun warm on my back
Cara Holman
(0,1,2) = 4 Points
my naked garden ~
reminding me...
of you
Kaylene
(0,1,2) = 4 Points
dog days —
the window dresser takes off
the dummies
Kaiser
(0,1,2) = 4 Points
nudist camp —
without clothes
it's the same conversation
Bill Kenney
(0,0,4) = 4 Points
I'm assuming nudist camps do their biggest business in the summer. There's an allusion/homage in this to a famous (with me, anyway) senryu by John Brandi.
Fifteenth Place — 3 Points
the nudity
multiplies infinitely —
a mirror bathroom
Narayanan Raghunathan
(0,1,1) = 3 Points
shedding all
sheathed in sheer moonlight
under the stars
Ben Gieske
(0,1,1) = 3 Points
moon-lit sea —
bathing in the nude
a black girl
natalia kuznetsova
(0,1,1) = 3 Points
summer evening —
she extends her limbs to rinse
in the lamplight
Alegria
(0,0,3) = 3 Points
admiring Rubens' Three Graces
she finally
exhales
Terri L. French
(0,0,3) = 3 Points
I like this very much, except for its line arrangement. I would have at least arranged it this way:
admiring Rubens' Three Graces, she finally exhales.
The arts always captivate.
a women's glove
next to a dandelion
still in bloom
Svend A. Doggfall
(0,0,3) = 3 Points
toddlers in a tub
checking out
equipment
Donna Bauerly
(0,0,3) = 3 Points
hospital gown
sense of nakedness
magnified
Frances McCarthy
(0,0,3) = 3 Points
phosphorescence
skinny dipping
under the stars
Elaine Riddell
(0,0,3) = 3 Points
Sixteenth Place — 2 Points
waking the mountains
laughing at my modesty
against natures nakedness
Bill Hudson
(0,1,0) = 2 Points
Early spring,
birds without shelter.
Tall bare trees.
Trevor Camp
(0,1,0) = 2 Points
the squeals
of a skinny-dipper
midnight moon
anonymous
(0,1,0) = 2 Points
boys in old swimming hole
girls sneak up
and steal their clothes
Jim Applegate
(0,0,2) = 2 Points
I remember a friend and i went to what we thought was a private swimming hole and had this happen (many years ago).
farm mud
fishing for her yellow boots
barefoot
andrea
(0,0,2) = 2 Points
how we feel
naked in moonlight
jellyfish
Francine Banwarth
(0,0,2) = 2 Points
backyard hot tub
the wrinkles and stretch marks
go unnoticed
Edward
(0,0,2) = 2 Points
sweat around my belly
I wish I was pretty
just to please her
Ralf Bröker
(0,0,2) = 2 Points
skinny dipping —
unable to go
past that point
DeVar
(0,0,2) = 2 Points
I like the teasing ambiguity.
Skinny-dipping —
some little fish nibble
at our bodies.
anonymous
(0,0,2) = 2 Points
Seventeenth Place — 1 point
snakelock anemone —
a nudist regrets for
his swimming suit
Tomislav
white butts
stark against deep suntans
boys catch crayfish
if
hospital gown . . .
where in !&%
are the armholes
anonymous
sea shell wanderer...
the only clothed person
on the naturist's beach
Laurene
wind-stripped branches
my aged mother keeps wearing
the same frayed jacket
Harvey Jenkins
Nakedness Being
Beware-Summer's heat has seized
Arctic winds now sneak
Carmen H.
sun-warm waves —
do the dolphins notice
our nakedness?
Catherine J.S. Lee
the flutter
as you take it...
rainbow trout
—iokua
our bareness
touched softly by
moonlit waves
Ruth Powell
fleeting sneer —
contempt darts through
the smiling visage
Shyam Prasad
colossal melon
angled arms try to cope
with its bare roundness
Sheila K. Barksdale
summer evening party,
run naked thru the sprinkler...$5
No? $10...$15!
John Hubbard
No Points this time, sorry.
stones at the window —
my son's smile
my nakedness
john McDonald
She goes out
into sultry heat —
feeding time
R.K. Singh
Sun, ice-creams and sea;
More tourists than locals here...
A Maltese summer!
Tanja Cilia
All the summer roads
to save from blasting sun strokes
embraced nudity
purush
spied upon...
I race for my towel
hanging on the rocks
Barbara A Taylor
bathed in afternoon
bare feet touch over flowers
dandelion wishes
Jennifer Stefanow
naked and lonely
she enjoy shower bath
summer morning
radhey shiam
bikinis
up and down the beach...
tropical delight
Keith A. Simmonds
At nine o’clock
the sand castle is ready —
children without clothes
Miorita
moonshine —
the gently rippling water
envelopes us
gillena cox
unblinking moon —
from the bed room window
she changes into a nighty
Vishnu P Kapoor
drenched
hollers of shock and joy —
skinny dippers
anonymous
Some topless maidens
yet cheering, splashing, and washed
away white sea spray
Beacon
nakedness to the sea —
border guard trembling
in the post
Petru-Ioan Garda
wind bells murmur —
he shares a bath
with his ducks
James Dobson
mountain lake —
mother and daughter in
naked
og_a
sunset swim
without her bathing suit —
swimming like a dolphin
Leslie Montgomery
personal summers
open the upright freezer
to cool all my skin
Hazel
sweaters packed away —
the thin skirt clings
to my legs
Marylouise Knight
a goldfinch charging
strings of naked notes
disappearing
Stella
barely visible
ripples on the reservoir
when we skinny- dip
Amicus
skinny dipping . . .
"I can't be
the second one in, too."
Bill Pauly
Free Format Theme:
Children
First Place — 23 Points
rain…
the floor awash
with toys
Rob Scott
(2,4,9) = 23 Points
Simple, yet elegant, with 'awash' turning this one into a winner.
Second Place — 21 Points
quiet breakfast —
faint height marks
on the wall
James Dobson
(1,7,4) = 21 Points
And
carousel
she tells the unicorn
to giddyap
Ellen Compton
(1,4,10) = 21 Points
Third Place — 16 Points
changing weather
my son renames
his chameleon
Francine Banwarth
(1,3,7) = 16 Points
Love this one! There is change in every line!
Change in every line.
I knew as this haiku came off the printer that it was going to be a "keeper" on my list. So clear & fluid.
Fourth Place — 15 Points
jungle gym
children
at every angle
Tom Painting
(0,2,11) = 15 Points
A strong visual image.
Fifth Place — 14 Points
fifth birthday party —
the oak adds
another ring
Cara Holman
(1,2,7) = 14 Points
A subtle yet effective haiku, both the tree and the child sharing a birthday, so to speak!
Sixth Place — 13 Points
cherry popsicles
a mother spit-washes
her child's face
Terri L. French
(0,1,11) = 13 Points
Like "September morning" below, an excellent haiku that is more about parents than children.
Seventh Place — 12 Points
September morning —
I try on my son`s
school bag
Jacek M.
(1,1,7) = 12 Points
An excellent haiku, even though it is more about parents than children.
honeysuckle breeze . . .
a whiff of the children
we used to be
Catherine J.S. Lee
(1,1,7) = 12 Points
A lovely way to bring back childhood without using the word 'memories'.
'honeysuckle breeze' is one of my favorite fragments and risks overuse but the phrase portion carries well—ah me, yes, "the children we used to be"—a sense of time, shared history, and an intimation that "we" have not forgotten how to play.
Eighth Place — 11 Points
Chinese restaurant
we order pu pu platter
to hear our kids laugh
Amicus
(1,1,6) = 11 Points
This brings me back to when my kids were little and I did anything to make them laugh just so I could enjoy the sound.
I guess I'm a kid at heart; I laughed.
light rain —
the faint marks of
hop scotch
Caleb Mutua
(0,3,5) = 11 Points
Ninth Place — 10 Points
a red crayon rolls
across the floor
shared custody
Roberta Beary
(0,2,6) = 10 Points
I can see that crayon rolling as the child leaves one parent to go to another. Poignant and sad.
Tenth Place — 9 Points
recess ends —
the silence of
the playground
Ruth Powell
(0,3,3) = 9 Points
A silence unlike any other; well caught.
rainy day:
even the sock monkey
is accused of cheating —
Kurt R. Westley
(0,1,7) = 9 Points
This one made me laugh out loud. Typical rainy day frustration.
Not sure why the cutting dash at the end of L3 but this surely captures it for me. It's a tad on the tell side but innocuously.
Eleventh Place — 8 Points
summer wind —
mother, daughter and doll
with the same hairstyle
Israel Lopez Balan
(0,2,4) = 8 Points
yellow gum boots —
a splash dance
in every puddle
DeVar
(0,1,6) = 8 Points
Twelfth Place — 7 Points
tenth birthday —
she asks a diary
for her secrets
Gryta Wansdronk
(0,3,1) = 7 Points
cloudy afternoon —
a muddy teddy bear
on the lawn
Gloria Kerubo
(0,2,3) = 7 Points
siesta time . . .
street children huddle around
with cigarette butts
Kala Ramesh
(0,1,5) = 7 Points
grandma forgets
to put the scissors away
— his first haircut
Diane Mayr
(0,1,5) = 7 Points
Very, very funny and everyone has this dilemma.
Thirteenth Place — 6 Points
My little one
with his dandelion...
roses can wait.
Zhanna P. Rader
(0,1,4) = 6 Points
news of the day
she decides to have
children anyway
Bill Pauly
(0,1,4) = 6 Points
Fourteenth Place — 5 Points
first biology lesson
no matter where she sits
— the skeleton
Paul Hodder
(0,1,3) = 5 Points
first frost
my tears for the child
born too soon
Liz Rule
(0,1,3) = 5 Points
Very poignant and I’m sorry for your loss.
A poignant haiku, with not a trace of sentimentality, but with a great juxtaposition of images.
little boy's bath —
he names all the things
that float
Susan Constable
(0,0,5) = 5 Points
A loving moment. I like how focused this haiku is.
Fifteenth Place — 4 Points
paper boat
dances on waves
children laugh with joy
Radhey Shiam
(0,2,0) = 4 Points
Backyard sandbox —
Green elm leaves shadow
A rusting toy truck
Old Grayhouse
(0,1,2) = 4 Points
mysteries
of sidewalk chalk
summer glyphs
Ann K. Schwader
(0,1,2) = 4 Points
stubborn as the weeds they'll outgrow
mechaieh
(0,1,2) = 4 Points
chilly afternoon —
she tries to imitate her
dad's loud whistle
Hussein Haji
(0,1,2) = 4 Points
armistice —
children playing hide-and-seek
among ruins
Kaiser
(0,0,4) = 4 Points
This is so natural an observation that it doesn't feel contrived. Perhaps because I recently saw children climbing on our town's 9/11 memorial and experienced a distressed chill before realizing they were children and children live in the moment.
Sixteenth Place — 3 Points
endless crying —
the maid returns the baby
to her mother
Kelvin Mukoselo
(1,0,0) = 3 Points
puddle plashing
shoes in their pockets —
dad and two-year-old
if
(0,1,1) = 3 Points
handicapped outing —
children's' laughter
drowning out the thunder
John McDonald
(0,1,1) = 3 Points
a newborn baby
future looks at me
from the bassinet
Harvey Jenkins
(0,1,1) = 3 Points
some children
playing football —
the warm rain
og_a
(0,1,1) = 3 Points
new rainy shoes;
my daughter asks
will it rain today?
Chitra Rajappa
(0,1,1) = 3 Points
Father's Day —
in the coffin sheen, my face
my sister's face
aom (tim)
(0,1,1) = 3 Points
CARE poster
the coat-hanger arms
of hungry children
Barbara Snow
(0,0,3) = 3 Points
Biafra —
children worshiping
the white saints
Petru-Ioan Garda
(0,0,3) = 3 Points
hot air balloons
the child more interested
in a dog
Elaine Riddell
(0,0,3) = 3 Points
Seventeenth Place — 2 Points
children play
on the twilight sky —
a fragrant breeze
Narayanan Raghunathan
(0,1,0) = 2 Points
the child’s smooth face —
desperately trying
to butterfly kiss
C.P.Harrison
(0,1,0) = 2 Points
a child’s morning hug —
I have not yet finished
living!
Isabelle Prondzynski
(0,1,0) = 2 Points
stillness...
the stone buddha's
heavy lids
— iokua
(0,1,0) = 2 Points
twilight
children squeal with delight
and chase fireflies
Hazel
(0,1,0) = 2 Points
his swift boats
flying fast and furious
the length of the tub
maxianne berger
(0,0,2) = 2 Points
with his balloon —
soaring
over the rooftops
Barbara Campitelli
(0,0,2) = 2 Points
moon rise —
children crowd over snail
in little girl’s palm
Alegria
(0,0,2) = 2 Points
A lovely scene of childhood wonder.
summer
the boys still barefoot
at noon
jennie townsend
(0,0,2) = 2 Points
the paper route —
a small hand collects
the coins
gillena cox
(0,0,2) = 2 Points
rock pool magic
children spellbound by
a miniscule sea
Frances McCarthy
(0,0,2) = 2 Points
child's delight
hopscotching
flashing fireflies
Ben Gieske
(0,0,2) = 2 Points
quick draw artist
his geese fly across
the bedroom wall
Edward
(0,0,2) = 2 Points
break time —
children chasing butterflies
across the field
Antony Mwangi
(0,0,2) = 2 Points
stained clothes —
children moulding dolls
from mud
Faith Atieno
(0,0,2) = 2 Points
How beautiful and it should get more points than I’m allowed to give but I give it 1 point.
tap tap tap —
two boys knock marbles
during a prayer
Isaac Ndirangu
(0,0,2) = 2 Points
Eighteenth Place — 1 Point
smelling of talcum —
Or splattered with chocolate sauce...
All too soon, they're gone.
Tanja Cilia
childhood —
sweet cherries
and an ice tea
Alex Serban
express not in words
All your thoughts and ideas
simply smile at us
purush
generosity...
a little girl shares ice cream
with her dog
Barbara A Taylor
longest day
the laughter of children
chasing pigeons
Bill Kenney
saturday's parade
swashbucklers and mermaids
pirate with a pacifier
Bill Hudson
nine years already
too cute for playing games
but pushing the pram
Beacon
Baking summer sun
toddler dives into paddling pool
splish, splash, belly flop!
Mark Lonergan
four grown men
still little boys in my heart —
family reunion
Marylouise Knight
all our children
gone the way of butterflies
flickering from sight
Michael McClintock
grown-up children —
it hurts to go back to being
man from superman
Shyam Prasad
proudly watching
children's' first flight —
a mother-crow
Juhani Tikkanen
not speaking- busy
fitting chestnuts back into
their husks- stepsisters
Sheila K. Barksdale
5.4 centimeters
120 beats per minute —
finally, a grandchild!
John Hubbard
How true!!
in a trance
the little boy dances to
his father's tune
Stella
No Points this time, sorry.
Beware of the dog! —
a collie in the courtyard
playing with children
Tomislav
Parents pelt stones
at the mating street dogs —
nosey children
R.K. Singh
shrieks and squawks
ice cubes in birdbath
children chillin’
anonymous
innocently wise
young souls dance
in laughter
Lorraine Margueritte Gasrel Black
jubilant voices
blowing upon the wind...
children in the park
Keith A. Simmonds
working hard uphill
bikes coasting down
children laugh in fun
Jim Applegate
mirth
jumping into puddles
the smell of rubber
Svend A. Doggfall
white petals —
they fix two on each doll's
fluffy ears
Catherine Njeri Maina
In the cherry tree —
some dirty faces
and full bellies
Miorita
stair vigil
her sobs tearing
even my soles
Donna Bauerly
awaken
by grandson's belly laughs —
happiness
Kaylene
what candy?
a crumb of chocolate
on his lips
Carol Raisfeld
first rains :
children's shrieks of laughter
and frogs' songs
Vishnu P Kapoor
heat wave talk
her kid hoards the snowpeas
in the picnic salad
Carlos Gesmundo
in need of some paint
the red wagon and I
to cover the rust
Michele L. Harvey
two little girls
sharing their bath —
play hair salon
Leslie Montgomery
chalk creates worlds
one is the lookout
Ralf Bröker
playtime —
a kid rolling an old tyre
at high speed
Stephen Macharia
hopscotch —
they renew the sandlines
after some hops
James Bundi
games time —
three girls skipping rope
in the field
Anne Wairimu
Three children
playing in the rain.
Baby robins.
Trevor Camp
soccer field
orange t-shirts win
the 3-year olds
miriam chaikim
the frog plops
cry for the moon tears slide
into the laughter
Boris Nazansky
ancient grave mound oak
my laughing daughter
on a swing
Jon Espen Vassbotn
missing teeth
the granddaughter
takes the lead
Rafal Zabratynski
General Comments:
Writing (a kigo entry) was a very tough task this time. Voting wasn't.
The kigo seems to have been stuck into categories of nude swimming, bathing babies, or vacation delights.
As a transplanted Boston Irishman, I only get naked in the shower. And I keep my eyes closed.
I wanted to let you know I found 7 very exceptional (Free Format) haiku in this section and it is very hard for me to pick them.
I'd liked to have voted for #90 and #91 (Free Format), too, but wanted to put those six points to best use.
A commendable absence of cuteness, considering the topic (Free Format).