June 2010 Kukai

Kigo Theme: 

Nakedness

First Place — 22 Points

life drawing

the pear shaped curve

of a breast

Beth Powell

(2,5,6) = 22 Points

And

stifling heat — 

his mother finally sees

the tattoo

Diane Mayr

(0,7,8) = 22 Points

More of an uh-oh moment than an ah-ha moment! Good one.

A lovely example of allowing the reader to use some imagination and appreciate the subtle reference to nudity.

Second Place  — 18 Points

bare foot

stirring

the whole Milky Way

Kurt R. Westley

(2,3,6) = 18 Points

Third Place  — 17 Points

strip dancing

the last rose petal

off the stem

Chuck Welt

(1,5,4) = 17 Points

I appreciate the way nudity is alluded to through the image of the last petal having fallen from the rose.

Fourth Place  — 15 Points

bath time

grandma's faded rose

tattoo

Paul Hodder

(2,1,7) = 15 Points

I've never read an image more wistfully sad and true.

Fifth Place — 14 Points

sultry noon…

just our heartbeats

between us

Rob Scott

(1,0,11) = 14 Points

A lovely juxtaposition of images, giving us the heat of passion and a subtle reference to nudity.

topless beach

trying not to stare

at her tattoo

Roberta Beary

(0,4,6) = 14 Points

A most elegant twist.

Sixth Place — 13 Points

barefoot on the roof — 

the full moon

as it is

Israel Lopez Balan

(2,2,3) = 13 Points

I never viewed the night sky as being in all its naked glory until I read this haiku. The unveiled mystery in such a small poem.

Freezing breeze — 

the nakedness

of my old bones

Juhani Tikkanen

(1,4,2) = 13 Points

Hardly a "summer kigo," as the instructions suggested, but an imaginative variation.

sunshine

I count the freckles

on her naked shoulder

Gabriel Sawicki

(0,1,11) = 13 Points

Seventh Place  — 12 Points

new baby

a bit slippery

in the bubbles

Barbara Snow

(2,0,6) = 12 Points

after...

her scent lingers

on me

Jacek M.

(0,3,6) = 12 Points

skinnydipper

the Moon swims

In the ripples

Lorraine Margueritte Gasrel Black

(0,1,10) = 12 Points

I really liked the image in this one. I think it might have been even more interesting had it read:

skinny dipper

swimming in the ripples

the moon

Eighth Place  — 11 Points

bright night

the smoothness of moonlight

between her breasts

Rafal Zabratynski

(1,2,4) = 11 Points

Ninth Place  — 10 Points

junemooned

waterlilied

nightswimmers

Jon Espen Vassbotn

(0,2,6) = 10 Points

Tenth Place  — 9 Points

summer hat

a young woman reads

on a nude beach

martin

(0,3,3) = 9 Points

beach day — 

changing clothes

behind a towel

Gryta Wansdronk

(0,2,5) = 9 Points

Eleventh Place — 7 Points

naked boy . . .

jumping up and down

in the rains

Kala Ramesh

(1,1,2) = 7 Points

The never ending innocence of children.

midnight bath — 

breasts caressed

by silver waves

Isabelle Prondzynski

(0,2,3) = 7 Points

midday sun…

the clothes-optional beach

covered with umbrellas

Michele L. Harvey

(0,2,3) = 7 Points

The middle line was a little cumbersome. I might have just put ‘nudists' beach’. Still, a very vivid haiku.

Eminently practical, when you think about it, but funny even so.

so hot

only the curtain

veils the fireflies

mechaieh

(0,1,5) = 7 Points

out of the lake

we dry each other — 

summer moon

Carol Raisfeld

(0,0,7) = 7 Points

Twelfth Place — 6 Points

maternity ward — 

a nurse wipes him

into his birthday suit

aom (tim)

(1,0,3) = 6 Points

One of my all time favorites!

A fresh look at a familiar phrase.

wedding night — 

slowly

she reveals her body

Barbara Campitelli

(0,2,2) = 6 Points

Thirteenth Place — 5 Points

nude beach

getting the best

of me

Tom Painting

(0,1,3) = 5 Points

Very funny!

old pond

clothes in messy heaps

the sound of water

maxianne

(0,1,3) = 5 Points

moonlit lake

washes even her

goose bumps

C.P.Harrison

(0,0,5) = 5 Points

Fourteenth Place  — 4 Points

moonlit beach

glistening water-drops

adorn nakedness

charlie smith

(1,0,1) = 4 Points

the drowsy murmur

of waves...

sun warm on my back

Cara Holman

(0,1,2) = 4 Points

my naked garden ~

reminding me...

of you

Kaylene

(0,1,2) = 4 Points

dog days — 

the window dresser takes off

the dummies

Kaiser

(0,1,2) = 4 Points

nudist camp — 

without clothes

it's the same conversation

Bill Kenney

(0,0,4) = 4 Points

I'm assuming nudist camps do their biggest business in the summer. There's an allusion/homage in this to a famous (with me, anyway) senryu by John Brandi.

Fifteenth Place  — 3 Points

the nudity

multiplies infinitely — 

a mirror bathroom

Narayanan Raghunathan

(0,1,1) = 3 Points

shedding all

sheathed in sheer moonlight

under the stars

Ben Gieske

(0,1,1) = 3 Points

moon-lit sea — 

bathing in the nude

a black girl

natalia kuznetsova

(0,1,1) = 3 Points

summer evening — 

she extends her limbs to rinse

in the lamplight

Alegria

(0,0,3) = 3 Points

admiring Rubens' Three Graces

she finally

exhales

Terri L. French

(0,0,3) = 3 Points

I like this very much, except for its line arrangement. I would have at least arranged it this way:

admiring Rubens' Three Graces, she finally exhales.

The arts always captivate.

a women's glove

next to a dandelion

still in bloom

Svend A. Doggfall

(0,0,3) = 3 Points

toddlers in a tub

checking out

equipment

Donna Bauerly

(0,0,3) = 3 Points

hospital gown

sense of nakedness

magnified

Frances McCarthy

(0,0,3) = 3 Points

phosphorescence

skinny dipping

under the stars

Elaine Riddell

(0,0,3) = 3 Points

Sixteenth Place — 2 Points

waking the mountains

laughing at my modesty

against natures nakedness

Bill Hudson

(0,1,0) = 2 Points

Early spring,

birds without shelter.

Tall bare trees.

Trevor Camp

(0,1,0) = 2 Points

the squeals

of a skinny-dipper

midnight moon

anonymous

(0,1,0) = 2 Points

boys in old swimming hole

girls sneak up

and steal their clothes

Jim Applegate

(0,0,2) = 2 Points

I remember a friend and i went to what we thought was a private swimming hole and had this happen (many years ago).

farm mud

fishing for her yellow boots

barefoot

andrea

(0,0,2) = 2 Points

how we feel

naked in moonlight

jellyfish

Francine Banwarth

(0,0,2) = 2 Points

backyard hot tub

the wrinkles and stretch marks

go unnoticed

Edward

(0,0,2) = 2 Points

sweat around my belly

I wish I was pretty

just to please her

Ralf Bröker

(0,0,2) = 2 Points

skinny dipping  — 

unable to go

past that point

DeVar

(0,0,2) = 2 Points

I like the teasing ambiguity.

Skinny-dipping  — 

some little fish nibble

at our bodies.

anonymous

(0,0,2) = 2 Points

Seventeenth Place — 1 point

snakelock anemone — 

a nudist regrets for

his swimming suit

Tomislav

white butts

stark against deep suntans

boys catch crayfish

if

hospital gown . . .

where in !&%

are the armholes

anonymous

sea shell wanderer...

the only clothed person

on the naturist's beach

Laurene

wind-stripped branches

my aged mother keeps wearing

the same frayed jacket

Harvey Jenkins

Nakedness Being

Beware-Summer's heat has seized

Arctic winds now sneak

Carmen H.

sun-warm waves — 

do the dolphins notice

our nakedness?

Catherine J.S. Lee

the flutter

as you take it...

rainbow trout

—iokua

our bareness

touched softly by

moonlit waves

Ruth Powell

fleeting sneer  — 

contempt darts through

the smiling visage

Shyam Prasad

colossal melon

angled arms try to cope

with its bare roundness

Sheila K. Barksdale

summer evening party,

run naked thru the sprinkler...$5

No? $10...$15!

John Hubbard

No Points this time, sorry.

stones at the window — 

my son's smile

my nakedness

john McDonald

She goes out

into sultry heat — 

feeding time

R.K. Singh

Sun, ice-creams and sea;

More tourists than locals here...

A Maltese summer!

Tanja Cilia

All the summer roads

to save from blasting sun strokes

embraced nudity

purush

spied upon...

I race for my towel

hanging on the rocks

Barbara A Taylor

bathed in afternoon

bare feet touch over flowers

dandelion wishes

Jennifer Stefanow

naked and lonely

she enjoy shower bath

summer morning

radhey shiam

bikinis

up and down the beach...

tropical delight

Keith A. Simmonds

At nine o’clock

the sand castle is ready — 

children without clothes

Miorita

moonshine — 

the gently rippling water

envelopes us

gillena cox

unblinking moon — 

from the bed room window

she changes into a nighty

Vishnu P Kapoor

drenched

hollers of shock and joy — 

skinny dippers

anonymous

Some topless maidens

yet cheering, splashing, and washed

away white sea spray

Beacon

nakedness to the sea — 

border guard trembling

in the post

Petru-Ioan Garda

wind bells murmur — 

he shares a bath

with his ducks

James Dobson

mountain lake — 

mother and daughter in

naked

og_a

sunset swim

without her bathing suit — 

swimming like a dolphin

Leslie Montgomery

personal summers

open the upright freezer

to cool all my skin

Hazel

sweaters packed away — 

the thin skirt clings

to my legs

Marylouise Knight

a goldfinch charging

strings of naked notes

disappearing

Stella

barely visible

ripples on the reservoir

when we skinny- dip

Amicus

skinny dipping . . .

"I can't be

the second one in, too."

Bill Pauly

Free Format Theme: 

Children

First Place  — 23 Points

rain…

the floor awash

with toys

Rob Scott

(2,4,9) = 23 Points

Simple, yet elegant, with 'awash' turning this one into a winner.

Second Place  — 21 Points

quiet breakfast — 

faint height marks

on the wall

James Dobson

(1,7,4) = 21 Points

And

carousel

she tells the unicorn

to giddyap

Ellen Compton

(1,4,10) = 21 Points

Third Place  — 16 Points

changing weather

my son renames

his chameleon

Francine Banwarth

(1,3,7) = 16 Points

Love this one! There is change in every line!

Change in every line.

I knew as this haiku came off the printer that it was going to be a "keeper" on my list. So clear & fluid.

Fourth Place — 15 Points

jungle gym

children

at every angle

Tom Painting

(0,2,11) = 15 Points

A strong visual image.

Fifth Place — 14 Points

fifth birthday party — 

the oak adds

another ring

Cara Holman

(1,2,7) = 14 Points

A subtle yet effective haiku, both the tree and the child sharing a birthday, so to speak!

Sixth Place — 13 Points

cherry popsicles

a mother spit-washes

her child's face

Terri L. French

(0,1,11) = 13 Points

Like "September morning" below, an excellent haiku that is more about parents than children.

Seventh Place — 12 Points

September morning — 

I try on my son`s

school bag

Jacek M.

(1,1,7) = 12 Points

An excellent haiku, even though it is more about parents than children.

honeysuckle breeze . . .

a whiff of the children

we used to be

Catherine J.S. Lee

(1,1,7) = 12 Points

A lovely way to bring back childhood without using the word 'memories'.

'honeysuckle breeze' is one of my favorite fragments and risks overuse but the phrase portion carries well—ah me, yes, "the children we used to be"—a sense of time, shared history, and an intimation that "we" have not forgotten how to play.

Eighth Place — 11 Points

Chinese restaurant

we order pu pu platter

to hear our kids laugh

Amicus

(1,1,6) = 11 Points

This brings me back to when my kids were little and I did anything to make them laugh just so I could enjoy the sound.

I guess I'm a kid at heart; I laughed.

light rain — 

the faint marks of

hop scotch

Caleb Mutua

(0,3,5) = 11 Points

Ninth Place — 10 Points

a red crayon rolls

across the floor

shared custody

Roberta Beary

(0,2,6) = 10 Points

I can see that crayon rolling as the child leaves one parent to go to another. Poignant and sad.

Tenth Place — 9 Points

recess ends — 

the silence of

the playground

Ruth Powell

(0,3,3) = 9 Points

A silence unlike any other; well caught.

rainy day:

even the sock monkey

is accused of cheating —

Kurt R. Westley

(0,1,7) = 9 Points

This one made me laugh out loud. Typical rainy day frustration.

Not sure why the cutting dash at the end of L3 but this surely captures it for me. It's a tad on the tell side but innocuously.

Eleventh Place — 8 Points

summer wind — 

mother, daughter and doll

with the same hairstyle

Israel Lopez Balan

(0,2,4) = 8 Points

yellow gum boots — 

a splash dance

in every puddle

DeVar

(0,1,6) = 8 Points

Twelfth Place — 7 Points

tenth birthday — 

she asks a diary

for her secrets

Gryta Wansdronk

(0,3,1) = 7 Points

cloudy afternoon — 

a muddy teddy bear

on the lawn

Gloria Kerubo

(0,2,3) = 7 Points

siesta time . . .

street children huddle around

with cigarette butts

Kala Ramesh

(0,1,5) = 7 Points

grandma forgets

to put the scissors away

 — his first haircut

Diane Mayr

(0,1,5) = 7 Points

Very, very funny and everyone has this dilemma.

Thirteenth Place — 6 Points

My little one

with his dandelion...

roses can wait.

Zhanna P. Rader

(0,1,4) = 6 Points

news of the day

she decides to have

children anyway

Bill Pauly

(0,1,4) = 6 Points

Fourteenth Place — 5 Points

first biology lesson

no matter where she sits

 — the skeleton

Paul Hodder

(0,1,3) = 5 Points

first frost

my tears for the child

born too soon

Liz Rule

(0,1,3) = 5 Points

Very poignant and I’m sorry for your loss.

A poignant haiku, with not a trace of sentimentality, but with a great juxtaposition of images.

little boy's bath — 

he names all the things

that float

Susan Constable

(0,0,5) = 5 Points

A loving moment. I like how focused this haiku is.

Fifteenth Place — 4 Points

paper boat

dances on waves

children laugh with joy

Radhey Shiam

(0,2,0) = 4 Points

Backyard sandbox — 

Green elm leaves shadow

A rusting toy truck

Old Grayhouse

(0,1,2) = 4 Points

mysteries

of sidewalk chalk

summer glyphs

Ann K. Schwader

(0,1,2) = 4 Points

stubborn as the weeds they'll outgrow

mechaieh

(0,1,2) = 4 Points

chilly afternoon — 

she tries to imitate her

dad's loud whistle

Hussein Haji

(0,1,2) = 4 Points

armistice — 

children playing hide-and-seek

among ruins

Kaiser

(0,0,4) = 4 Points

This is so natural an observation that it doesn't feel contrived. Perhaps because I recently saw children climbing on our town's 9/11 memorial and experienced a distressed chill before realizing they were children and children live in the moment.

Sixteenth Place — 3 Points

endless crying — 

the maid returns the baby

to her mother

Kelvin Mukoselo

(1,0,0) = 3 Points

puddle plashing

shoes in their pockets — 

dad and two-year-old

if

(0,1,1) = 3 Points

handicapped outing — 

children's' laughter

drowning out the thunder

John McDonald

(0,1,1) = 3 Points

a newborn baby

future looks at me

from the bassinet

Harvey Jenkins

(0,1,1) = 3 Points

some children

playing football — 

the warm rain

og_a

(0,1,1) = 3 Points

new rainy shoes;

my daughter asks

will it rain today?

Chitra Rajappa

(0,1,1) = 3 Points

Father's Day — 

in the coffin sheen, my face

my sister's face

aom (tim)

(0,1,1) = 3 Points

CARE poster

the coat-hanger arms

of hungry children

Barbara Snow

(0,0,3) = 3 Points

Biafra — 

children worshiping

the white saints

Petru-Ioan Garda

(0,0,3) = 3 Points

hot air balloons

the child more interested

in a dog

Elaine Riddell

(0,0,3) = 3 Points

Seventeenth Place  — 2 Points

children play

on the twilight sky — 

a fragrant breeze

Narayanan Raghunathan

(0,1,0) = 2 Points

the child’s smooth face — 

desperately trying

to butterfly kiss

C.P.Harrison

(0,1,0) = 2 Points

a child’s morning hug — 

I have not yet finished

living!

Isabelle Prondzynski

(0,1,0) = 2 Points

stillness...

the stone buddha's

heavy lids

 — iokua

(0,1,0) = 2 Points

twilight

children squeal with delight

and chase fireflies

Hazel

(0,1,0) = 2 Points

his swift boats

flying fast and furious

the length of the tub

maxianne berger

(0,0,2) = 2 Points

with his balloon — 

soaring

over the rooftops

Barbara Campitelli

(0,0,2) = 2 Points

moon rise — 

children crowd over snail

in little girl’s palm

Alegria

(0,0,2) = 2 Points

A lovely scene of childhood wonder.

summer

the boys still barefoot

at noon

jennie townsend

(0,0,2) = 2 Points

the paper route — 

a small hand collects

the coins

gillena cox

(0,0,2) = 2 Points

rock pool magic

children spellbound by

a miniscule sea

Frances McCarthy

(0,0,2) = 2 Points

child's delight

hopscotching

flashing fireflies

Ben Gieske

(0,0,2) = 2 Points

quick draw artist

his geese fly across

the bedroom wall

Edward

(0,0,2) = 2 Points

break time — 

children chasing butterflies

across the field

Antony Mwangi

(0,0,2) = 2 Points

stained clothes — 

children moulding dolls

from mud

Faith Atieno

(0,0,2) = 2 Points

How beautiful and it should get more points than I’m allowed to give but I give it 1 point.

tap tap tap — 

two boys knock marbles

during a prayer

Isaac Ndirangu

(0,0,2) = 2 Points

Eighteenth Place — 1 Point

smelling of talcum  — 

Or splattered with chocolate sauce...

All too soon, they're gone.

Tanja Cilia

childhood — 

sweet cherries

and an ice tea

Alex Serban

express not in words

All your thoughts and ideas

simply smile at us

purush

generosity...

a little girl shares ice cream

with her dog

Barbara A Taylor

longest day

the laughter of children

chasing pigeons

Bill Kenney

saturday's parade

swashbucklers and mermaids

pirate with a pacifier

Bill Hudson

nine years already

too cute for playing games

but pushing the pram

Beacon

Baking summer sun

toddler dives into paddling pool

splish, splash, belly flop!

Mark Lonergan

four grown men

still little boys in my heart — 

family reunion

Marylouise Knight

all our children

gone the way of butterflies

flickering from sight

Michael McClintock

grown-up children — 

it hurts to go back to being

man from superman

Shyam Prasad

proudly watching

children's' first flight — 

a mother-crow

Juhani Tikkanen

not speaking- busy

fitting chestnuts back into

their husks- stepsisters

Sheila K. Barksdale

5.4 centimeters

120 beats per minute — 

finally, a grandchild!

John Hubbard

How true!!

in a trance

the little boy dances to

his father's tune

Stella

No Points this time, sorry.

Beware of the dog!  — 

a collie in the courtyard

playing with children

Tomislav

Parents pelt stones

at the mating street dogs — 

nosey children

R.K. Singh

shrieks and squawks

ice cubes in birdbath

children chillin’

anonymous

innocently wise

young souls dance

in laughter

Lorraine Margueritte Gasrel Black

jubilant voices

blowing upon the wind...

children in the park

Keith A. Simmonds

working hard uphill

bikes coasting down

children laugh in fun

Jim Applegate

mirth

jumping into puddles

the smell of rubber

Svend A. Doggfall

white petals — 

they fix two on each doll's

fluffy ears

Catherine Njeri Maina

In the cherry tree — 

some dirty faces

and full bellies

Miorita

stair vigil

her sobs tearing

even my soles

Donna Bauerly

awaken

by grandson's belly laughs — 

happiness

Kaylene

what candy?

a crumb of chocolate

on his lips

Carol Raisfeld

first rains :

children's shrieks of laughter

and frogs' songs

Vishnu P Kapoor

heat wave talk

her kid hoards the snowpeas

in the picnic salad

Carlos Gesmundo

in need of some paint

the red wagon and I

to cover the rust

Michele L. Harvey

two little girls

sharing their bath — 

play hair salon

Leslie Montgomery

chalk creates worlds

one is the lookout

Ralf Bröker

playtime — 

a kid rolling an old tyre

at high speed

Stephen Macharia

hopscotch — 

they renew the sandlines

after some hops

James Bundi

games time — 

three girls skipping rope

in the field

Anne Wairimu

Three children

playing in the rain.

Baby robins.

Trevor Camp

soccer field

orange t-shirts win

the 3-year olds

miriam chaikim

the frog plops

cry for the moon tears slide

into the laughter

Boris Nazansky

ancient grave mound oak

my laughing daughter

on a swing

Jon Espen Vassbotn

missing teeth

the granddaughter

takes the lead

Rafal Zabratynski

General Comments:

Writing (a kigo entry) was a very tough task this time. Voting wasn't.

The kigo seems to have been stuck into categories of nude swimming, bathing babies, or vacation delights.

As a transplanted Boston Irishman, I only get naked in the shower. And I keep my eyes closed.

I wanted to let you know I found 7 very exceptional (Free Format) haiku in this section and it is very hard for me to pick them.

I'd liked to have voted for #90 and #91 (Free Format), too, but wanted to put those six points to best use.

A commendable absence of cuteness, considering the topic (Free Format).