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June 2010 Kukai

Congratulations to Beth Powell and Diane Mayr, winners of our Kigo section and to Rob Scott, winner of our Free Format section!


June 2010 Results
Kigo Theme: 
Nakedness
Free Format Theme: 
Children

First Place — 22 Points
life drawing
the pear shaped curve
of a breast

Beth Powell
(2,5,6) = 22 Points

And

stifling heat — 
his mother finally sees
the tattoo

Diane Mayr
(0,7,8) = 22 Points

More of an uh-oh moment than an ah-ha moment! Good one.

A lovely example of allowing the reader to use some imagination and appreciate the subtle reference to nudity.


Second Place  — 18 Points
bare foot
stirring
the whole Milky Way

Kurt R. Westley
(2,3,6) = 18 Points


Third Place  — 17 Points
strip dancing
the last rose petal
off the stem

Chuck Welt
(1,5,4) = 17 Points

I appreciate the way nudity is alluded to through the image of the last petal having fallen from the rose.


Fourth Place  — 15 Points
bath time
grandma's faded rose
tattoo

Paul Hodder
(2,1,7) = 15 Points

I've never read an image more wistfully sad and true.


Fifth Place — 14 Points
sultry noon…
just our heartbeats
between us

Rob Scott
(1,0,11) = 14 Points

A lovely juxtaposition of images, giving us the heat of passion and a subtle reference to nudity.

topless beach
trying not to stare
at her tattoo

Roberta Beary
(0,4,6) = 14 Points

A most elegant twist.


Sixth Place — 13 Points
barefoot on the roof — 
the full moon
as it is

Israel Lopez Balan
(2,2,3) = 13 Points

I never viewed the night sky as being in all its naked glory until I read this haiku. The unveiled mystery in such a small poem.

Freezing breeze — 
the nakedness
of my old bones

Juhani Tikkanen
(1,4,2) = 13 Points

Hardly a "summer kigo," as the instructions suggested, but an imaginative variation.

sunshine
I count the freckles
on her naked shoulder

Gabriel Sawicki
(0,1,11) = 13 Points


Seventh Place  — 12 Points
new baby
a bit slippery
in the bubbles

Barbara Snow
(2,0,6) = 12 Points

after...
her scent lingers
on me

Jacek M.
(0,3,6) = 12 Points

skinnydipper
the Moon swims
In the ripples

Lorraine Margueritte Gasrel Black
(0,1,10) = 12 Points

I really liked the image in this one. I think it might have been even more interesting had it read:

skinny dipper
swimming in the ripples
the moon


Eighth Place  — 11 Points
bright night
the smoothness of moonlight
between her breasts

Rafal Zabratynski
(1,2,4) = 11 Points


Ninth Place  — 10 Points
junemooned
waterlilied
nightswimmers

Jon Espen Vassbotn
(0,2,6) = 10 Points


Tenth Place  — 9 Points
summer hat
a young woman reads
on a nude beach

martin
(0,3,3) = 9 Points

beach day — 
changing clothes
behind a towel

Gryta Wansdronk
(0,2,5) = 9 Points


Eleventh Place — 7 Points
naked boy . . .
jumping up and down
in the rains

Kala Ramesh
(1,1,2) = 7 Points

The never ending innocence of children.

midnight bath — 
breasts caressed
by silver waves

Isabelle Prondzynski
(0,2,3) = 7 Points

midday sun…
the clothes-optional beach
covered with umbrellas

Michele L. Harvey
(0,2,3) = 7 Points

The middle line was a little cumbersome. I might have just put ‘nudists' beach’. Still, a very vivid haiku.

Eminently practical, when you think about it, but funny even so.

so hot
only the curtain
veils the fireflies

mechaieh
(0,1,5) = 7 Points

out of the lake
we dry each other — 
summer moon

Carol Raisfeld
(0,0,7) = 7 Points


Twelfth Place — 6 Points
maternity ward — 
a nurse wipes him
into his birthday suit

aom (tim)
(1,0,3) = 6 Points

One of my all time favorites!

A fresh look at a familiar phrase.

wedding night — 
slowly
she reveals her body

Barbara Campitelli
(0,2,2) = 6 Points


Thirteenth Place — 5 Points
nude beach
getting the best
of me

Tom Painting
(0,1,3) = 5 Points

Very funny!

old pond
clothes in messy heaps
the sound of water

maxianne
(0,1,3) = 5 Points

moonlit lake
washes even her
goose bumps

C.P.Harrison
(0,0,5) = 5 Points


Fourteenth Place  — 4 Points
moonlit beach
glistening water-drops
adorn nakedness

charlie smith
(1,0,1) = 4 Points

the drowsy murmur
of waves...
sun warm on my back

Cara Holman
(0,1,2) = 4 Points

my naked garden ~
reminding me...
of you

Kaylene
(0,1,2) = 4 Points

dog days — 
the window dresser takes off
the dummies

Kaiser
(0,1,2) = 4 Points

nudist camp — 
without clothes
it's the same conversation

Bill Kenney
(0,0,4) = 4 Points

I'm assuming nudist camps do their biggest business in the summer. There's an allusion/homage in this to a famous (with me, anyway) senryu by John Brandi.


Fifteenth Place  — 3 Points
the nudity
multiplies infinitely — 
a mirror bathroom

Narayanan Raghunathan
(0,1,1) = 3 Points

shedding all
sheathed in sheer moonlight
under the stars

Ben Gieske
(0,1,1) = 3 Points

moon-lit sea — 
bathing in the nude
a black girl

natalia kuznetsova
(0,1,1) = 3 Points

summer evening — 
she extends her limbs to rinse
in the lamplight

Alegria
(0,0,3) = 3 Points

admiring Rubens' Three Graces
she finally
exhales

Terri L. French
(0,0,3) = 3 Points

I like this very much, except for its line arrangement. I would have at least arranged it this way:

admiring Rubens' Three Graces, she finally exhales.

The arts always captivate.

a women's glove
next to a dandelion
still in bloom

Svend A. Doggfall
(0,0,3) = 3 Points

toddlers in a tub
checking out
equipment

Donna Bauerly
(0,0,3) = 3 Points

hospital gown
sense of nakedness
magnified

Frances McCarthy
(0,0,3) = 3 Points

phosphorescence
skinny dipping
under the stars

Elaine Riddell
(0,0,3) = 3 Points


Sixteenth Place — 2 Points
waking the mountains
laughing at my modesty
against natures nakedness

Bill Hudson
(0,1,0) = 2 Points

Early spring,
birds without shelter.
Tall bare trees.

Trevor Camp
(0,1,0) = 2 Points

the squeals
of a skinny-dipper
midnight moon

anonymous
(0,1,0) = 2 Points

boys in old swimming hole
girls sneak up
and steal their clothes

Jim Applegate
(0,0,2) = 2 Points

I remember a friend and i went to what we thought was a private swimming hole and had this happen (many years ago).

farm mud
fishing for her yellow boots
barefoot

andrea
(0,0,2) = 2 Points

how we feel
naked in moonlight
jellyfish

Francine Banwarth
(0,0,2) = 2 Points

backyard hot tub
the wrinkles and stretch marks
go unnoticed

Edward
(0,0,2) = 2 Points

sweat around my belly
I wish I was pretty
just to please her

Ralf Bröker
(0,0,2) = 2 Points

skinny dipping  — 
unable to go
past that point

DeVar
(0,0,2) = 2 Points

I like the teasing ambiguity.

Skinny-dipping  — 
some little fish nibble
at our bodies.

anonymous
(0,0,2) = 2 Points


Seventeenth Place — 1 point
snakelock anemone — 
a nudist regrets for
his swimming suit

Tomislav

white butts
stark against deep suntans
boys catch crayfish

if

hospital gown . . .
where in !&%
are the armholes

anonymous

sea shell wanderer...
the only clothed person
on the naturist's beach

Laurene

wind-stripped branches
my aged mother keeps wearing
the same frayed jacket

Harvey Jenkins

Nakedness Being
Beware-Summer's heat has seized
Arctic winds now sneak

Carmen H.

sun-warm waves — 
do the dolphins notice
our nakedness?

Catherine J.S. Lee

the flutter
as you take it...
rainbow trout

—iokua

our bareness
touched softly by
moonlit waves

Ruth Powell

fleeting sneer  — 
contempt darts through
the smiling visage

Shyam Prasad

colossal melon
angled arms try to cope
with its bare roundness

Sheila K. Barksdale

summer evening party,
run naked thru the sprinkler...$5
No? $10...$15!

John Hubbard


No Points this time, sorry.
stones at the window — 
my son's smile
my nakedness

john McDonald

She goes out
into sultry heat — 
feeding time

R.K. Singh

Sun, ice-creams and sea;
More tourists than locals here...
A Maltese summer!

Tanja Cilia

All the summer roads
to save from blasting sun strokes
embraced nudity

purush

spied upon...
I race for my towel
hanging on the rocks

Barbara A Taylor

bathed in afternoon
bare feet touch over flowers
dandelion wishes

Jennifer Stefanow

naked and lonely
she enjoy shower bath
summer morning

radhey shiam

bikinis
up and down the beach...
tropical delight

Keith A. Simmonds

At nine o’clock
the sand castle is ready — 
children without clothes

Miorita

moonshine — 
the gently rippling water
envelopes us

gillena cox

unblinking moon — 
from the bed room window
she changes into a nighty

Vishnu P Kapoor

drenched
hollers of shock and joy — 
skinny dippers

anonymous

Some topless maidens
yet cheering, splashing, and washed
away white sea spray

Beacon

nakedness to the sea — 
border guard trembling
in the post

Petru-Ioan Garda

wind bells murmur — 
he shares a bath
with his ducks

James Dobson

mountain lake — 
mother and daughter in
naked

og_a

sunset swim
without her bathing suit — 
swimming like a dolphin

Leslie Montgomery

personal summers
open the upright freezer
to cool all my skin

Hazel

sweaters packed away — 
the thin skirt clings
to my legs

Marylouise Knight

a goldfinch charging
strings of naked notes
disappearing

Stella

barely visible
ripples on the reservoir
when we skinny- dip

Amicus

skinny dipping . . .
"I can't be
the second one in, too."

Bill Pauly



First Place  — 23 Points
rain…
the floor awash
with toys

Rob Scott
(2,4,9) = 23 Points

Simple, yet elegant, with 'awash' turning this one into a winner.


Second Place  — 21 Points
quiet breakfast — 
faint height marks
on the wall

James Dobson
(1,7,4) = 21 Points

And

carousel
she tells the unicorn
to giddyap

Ellen Compton
(1,4,10) = 21 Points


Third Place  — 16 Points
changing weather
my son renames
his chameleon

Francine Banwarth
(1,3,7) = 16 Points

Love this one! There is change in every line!

Change in every line.

I knew as this haiku came off the printer that it was going to be a "keeper" on my list. So clear & fluid.


Fourth Place — 15 Points
jungle gym
children
at every angle

Tom Painting
(0,2,11) = 15 Points

A strong visual image.


Fifth Place — 14 Points
fifth birthday party — 
the oak adds
another ring

Cara Holman
(1,2,7) = 14 Points

A subtle yet effective haiku, both the tree and the child sharing a birthday, so to speak!


Sixth Place — 13 Points
cherry popsicles
a mother spit-washes
her child's face

Terri L. French
(0,1,11) = 13 Points

Like "September morning" below, an excellent haiku that is more about parents than children.


Seventh Place — 12 Points
September morning — 
I try on my son`s
school bag

Jacek M.
(1,1,7) = 12 Points

An excellent haiku, even though it is more about parents than children.

honeysuckle breeze . . .
a whiff of the children
we used to be

Catherine J.S. Lee
(1,1,7) = 12 Points

A lovely way to bring back childhood without using the word 'memories'.

'honeysuckle breeze' is one of my favorite fragments and risks overuse but the phrase portion carries well—ah me, yes, "the children we used to be"—a sense of time, shared history, and an intimation that "we" have not forgotten how to play.


Eighth Place — 11 Points
Chinese restaurant
we order pu pu platter
to hear our kids laugh

Amicus
(1,1,6) = 11 Points

This brings me back to when my kids were little and I did anything to make them laugh just so I could enjoy the sound.

I guess I'm a kid at heart; I laughed.

light rain — 
the faint marks of
hop scotch

Caleb Mutua
(0,3,5) = 11 Points


Ninth Place — 10 Points
a red crayon rolls
across the floor
shared custody

Roberta Beary
(0,2,6) = 10 Points

I can see that crayon rolling as the child leaves one parent to go to another. Poignant and sad.


Tenth Place — 9 Points
recess ends — 
the silence of
the playground

Ruth Powell
(0,3,3) = 9 Points

A silence unlike any other; well caught.

rainy day:
even the sock monkey
is accused of cheating —

Kurt R. Westley
(0,1,7) = 9 Points

This one made me laugh out loud. Typical rainy day frustration.

Not sure why the cutting dash at the end of L3 but this surely captures it for me. It's a tad on the tell side but innocuously.


Eleventh Place — 8 Points
summer wind — 
mother, daughter and doll
with the same hairstyle

Israel Lopez Balan
(0,2,4) = 8 Points

yellow gum boots — 
a splash dance
in every puddle

DeVar
(0,1,6) = 8 Points


Twelfth Place — 7 Points
tenth birthday — 
she asks a diary
for her secrets

Gryta Wansdronk
(0,3,1) = 7 Points

cloudy afternoon — 
a muddy teddy bear
on the lawn

Gloria Kerubo
(0,2,3) = 7 Points

siesta time . . .
street children huddle around
with cigarette butts

Kala Ramesh
(0,1,5) = 7 Points

grandma forgets
to put the scissors away
 — his first haircut

Diane Mayr
(0,1,5) = 7 Points

Very, very funny and everyone has this dilemma.


Thirteenth Place — 6 Points
My little one
with his dandelion...
roses can wait.

Zhanna P. Rader
(0,1,4) = 6 Points

news of the day
she decides to have
children anyway

Bill Pauly
(0,1,4) = 6 Points


Fourteenth Place — 5 Points
first biology lesson
no matter where she sits
 — the skeleton

Paul Hodder
(0,1,3) = 5 Points

first frost
my tears for the child
born too soon

Liz Rule
(0,1,3) = 5 Points

Very poignant and I’m sorry for your loss.

A poignant haiku, with not a trace of sentimentality, but with a great juxtaposition of images.

little boy's bath — 
he names all the things
that float

Susan Constable
(0,0,5) = 5 Points

A loving moment. I like how focused this haiku is.


Fifteenth Place — 4 Points
paper boat
dances on waves
children laugh with joy

Radhey Shiam
(0,2,0) = 4 Points

Backyard sandbox — 
Green elm leaves shadow
A rusting toy truck

Old Grayhouse
(0,1,2) = 4 Points

mysteries
of sidewalk chalk
summer glyphs

Ann K. Schwader
(0,1,2) = 4 Points

stubborn as the weeds they'll outgrow

mechaieh
(0,1,2) = 4 Points

chilly afternoon — 
she tries to imitate her
dad's loud whistle

Hussein Haji
(0,1,2) = 4 Points

armistice — 
children playing hide-and-seek
among ruins

Kaiser
(0,0,4) = 4 Points

This is so natural an observation that it doesn't feel contrived. Perhaps because I recently saw children climbing on our town's 9/11 memorial and experienced a distressed chill before realizing they were children and children live in the moment.


Sixteenth Place — 3 Points
endless crying — 
the maid returns the baby
to her mother

Kelvin Mukoselo
(1,0,0) = 3 Points

puddle plashing
shoes in their pockets — 
dad and two-year-old

if
(0,1,1) = 3 Points

handicapped outing — 
children's' laughter
drowning out the thunder

John McDonald
(0,1,1) = 3 Points

a newborn baby
future looks at me
from the bassinet

Harvey Jenkins
(0,1,1) = 3 Points

some children
playing football — 
the warm rain

og_a
(0,1,1) = 3 Points

new rainy shoes;
my daughter asks
will it rain today?

Chitra Rajappa
(0,1,1) = 3 Points

Father's Day — 
in the coffin sheen, my face
my sister's face

aom (tim)
(0,1,1) = 3 Points

CARE poster
the coat-hanger arms
of hungry children

Barbara Snow
(0,0,3) = 3 Points

Biafra — 
children worshiping
the white saints

Petru-Ioan Garda
(0,0,3) = 3 Points

hot air balloons
the child more interested
in a dog

Elaine Riddell
(0,0,3) = 3 Points


Seventeenth Place  — 2 Points
children play
on the twilight sky — 
a fragrant breeze

Narayanan Raghunathan
(0,1,0) = 2 Points

the child’s smooth face — 
desperately trying
to butterfly kiss

C.P.Harrison
(0,1,0) = 2 Points

a child’s morning hug — 
I have not yet finished
living!

Isabelle Prondzynski
(0,1,0) = 2 Points

stillness...
the stone buddha's
heavy lids

 — iokua
(0,1,0) = 2 Points

twilight
children squeal with delight
and chase fireflies

Hazel
(0,1,0) = 2 Points

his swift boats
flying fast and furious
the length of the tub

maxianne berger
(0,0,2) = 2 Points

with his balloon — 
soaring
over the rooftops

Barbara Campitelli
(0,0,2) = 2 Points

moon rise — 
children crowd over snail
in little girl’s palm

Alegria
(0,0,2) = 2 Points

A lovely scene of childhood wonder.

summer
the boys still barefoot
at noon

jennie townsend
(0,0,2) = 2 Points

the paper route — 
a small hand collects
the coins

gillena cox
(0,0,2) = 2 Points

rock pool magic
children spellbound by
a miniscule sea

Frances McCarthy
(0,0,2) = 2 Points

child's delight
hopscotching
flashing fireflies

Ben Gieske
(0,0,2) = 2 Points

quick draw artist
his geese fly across
the bedroom wall

Edward
(0,0,2) = 2 Points

break time — 
children chasing butterflies
across the field

Antony Mwangi
(0,0,2) = 2 Points

stained clothes — 
children moulding dolls
from mud

Faith Atieno
(0,0,2) = 2 Points

How beautiful and it should get more points than I’m allowed to give but I give it 1 point.

tap tap tap — 
two boys knock marbles
during a prayer

Isaac Ndirangu
(0,0,2) = 2 Points


Eighteenth Place — 1 Point
smelling of talcum  — 
Or splattered with chocolate sauce...
All too soon, they're gone.

Tanja Cilia

childhood — 
sweet cherries
and an ice tea

Alex Serban

express not in words
All your thoughts and ideas
simply smile at us

purush

generosity...
a little girl shares ice cream
with her dog

Barbara A Taylor

longest day
the laughter of children
chasing pigeons

Bill Kenney

saturday's parade
swashbucklers and mermaids
pirate with a pacifier

Bill Hudson

nine years already
too cute for playing games
but pushing the pram

Beacon

Baking summer sun
toddler dives into paddling pool
splish, splash, belly flop!

Mark Lonergan

four grown men
still little boys in my heart — 
family reunion

Marylouise Knight

all our children
gone the way of butterflies
flickering from sight

Michael McClintock

grown-up children — 
it hurts to go back to being
man from superman

Shyam Prasad

proudly watching
children's' first flight — 
a mother-crow

Juhani Tikkanen

not speaking- busy
fitting chestnuts back into
their husks- stepsisters

Sheila K. Barksdale

5.4 centimeters
120 beats per minute — 
finally, a grandchild!

John Hubbard

How true!!

in a trance
the little boy dances to
his father's tune

Stella


No Points this time, sorry.
Beware of the dog!  — 
a collie in the courtyard
playing with children

Tomislav

Parents pelt stones
at the mating street dogs — 
nosey children

R.K. Singh

shrieks and squawks
ice cubes in birdbath
children chillin’

anonymous

innocently wise
young souls dance
in laughter

Lorraine Margueritte Gasrel Black

jubilant voices
blowing upon the wind...
children in the park

Keith A. Simmonds

working hard uphill
bikes coasting down
children laugh in fun

Jim Applegate

mirth
jumping into puddles
the smell of rubber

Svend A. Doggfall

white petals — 
they fix two on each doll's
fluffy ears

Catherine Njeri Maina

In the cherry tree — 
some dirty faces
and full bellies

Miorita

stair vigil
her sobs tearing
even my soles

Donna Bauerly

awaken
by grandson's belly laughs — 
happiness

Kaylene

what candy?
a crumb of chocolate
on his lips

Carol Raisfeld

first rains :
children's shrieks of laughter
and frogs' songs

Vishnu P Kapoor

heat wave talk
her kid hoards the snowpeas
in the picnic salad

Carlos Gesmundo

in need of some paint
the red wagon and I
to cover the rust

Michele L. Harvey

two little girls
sharing their bath — 
play hair salon

Leslie Montgomery

chalk creates worlds
one is the lookout

Ralf Bröker

playtime — 
a kid rolling an old tyre
at high speed

Stephen Macharia

hopscotch — 
they renew the sandlines
after some hops

James Bundi

games time — 
three girls skipping rope
in the field

Anne Wairimu

Three children
playing in the rain.
Baby robins.

Trevor Camp

soccer field
orange t-shirts win
the 3-year olds

miriam chaikim

the frog plops
cry for the moon tears slide
into the laughter

Boris Nazansky

ancient grave mound oak
my laughing daughter
on a swing

Jon Espen Vassbotn

missing teeth
the granddaughter
takes the lead

Rafal Zabratynski


General Comments:

Writing (a kigo entry) was a very tough task this time. Voting wasn't.

The kigo seems to have been stuck into categories of nude swimming, bathing babies, or vacation delights.

As a transplanted Boston Irishman, I only get naked in the shower. And I keep my eyes closed.

I wanted to let you know I found 7 very exceptional (Free Format) haiku in this section and it is very hard for me to pick them.

I'd liked to have voted for #90 and #91 (Free Format), too, but wanted to put those six points to best use.

A commendable absence of cuteness, considering the topic (Free Format).

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