July 2013 Kukai
Congratulations to *** BILL KENNEY ***, winner of our Kigo section and to *** BETH POWELL ***, winner of our Free Format section!
Kigo Theme:
EVENING GLOW
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First Place - 27 Points
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clouds at sunset . . .
the things we promise
to remember
Bill Kenney
(1,6,12) = 27 pts
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Second Place - 24 Points
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before it's gone
a swallow's wings
chasing the light
Michael McClintock
(2,5,8) = 24 pts
**I'd move line 3 to line 1, but I appreciate the delicacy of the image.
**Enjoyed this verse.
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Third Place - 18 Points
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apricot sky
my horse turns pink
as we amble home
Marie Stutts
(2,3,6) = 18 pts
**What a beautiful picture -- and I love the use of the verb "amble".
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17 Points
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evening glow
on the piano
silent nocturne
Roberta Beary
(2,3,5) = 17 pts
**The piano as an actor unto itself.
sunset...
cicadas turn off
one by one
Tomislav
(0,6,5) = 17 pts
**I haven't encountered any cicadas, but I read that they are back.
I'll take the poet's word for "one by one."
sunset on the lake
even the pines
cease their whispering
Adelaide B. Shaw
(0,5,7) = 17 pts
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16 Points
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reminiscing...
he and i swirl sunset
in our snifters
Nancy Smith
(2,2,6) = 16 pts
alpenglow;
a moth slowly opens
its wings
manoj saranathan
(0,4,8) = 16 pts
**I like the subtle visual rhyme.
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14 Points
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evening glow
a duck's wake
in molten gold
Elaine Riddell
(1,2,7) = 14 pts
**Lovely
evening glow -
arms waving from
the hot air balloon
Anne Curran
(0,4,6) = 14 pts
twilight
colors bleed
into darkness
michaelb2005
(0,3,8) = 14 pts
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13 Points
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evening glow
your cheek
next to mine
Stella Pierides
(1,1,8) = 13 pts
**A bit sweet for my taste, but it works in its own (deliberately?) naive way.
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12 Points
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prairie dusk along the railroad gravel wild blue flax
martin gottlieb cohen
(1,2,5) = 12 pts
**Full of atmosphere. I'd say that 'along' isn't needed, without it
the one-line haiku is no longer explanatory, and removed from being
too close to a statement. Definitely, without 'along' this is a
classic haiku to be placed in a magazine.
evening glow
flickering monitors
in ICU
Vishnu P Kapoor
(1,1,7) = 12 pts
**I'd put an article in line 3, but this is haunting: a glow with a vengeance.
**A strong contrast between the natural evening glow and the
mechanical/electronic glow of ICU devices which are man-made, and
where human causalities are still holding onto life.
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11 Points
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sunset. . .
the cabbie asks
for directions
h. gene murtha
(1,1,6) = 11 pts
**Wryly amusing to anyone who lives in New York, or, I'd guess, in
many other large cities as well; and the sunset reference works as
suggesting the approaching nightfall of, ahem, Civilization As We Know
It.
**I still get surprised that some cabbies need directions, and if you
are going somewhere you've never been to before, it's still appears
they are unhappy that you don't know, and lack shame they don't know
as a professional. The haiku made me smile and grimace (in a good
way).
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10 Points
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evening glow —
a sunflower bends
to the West
~ Susan Wakini
(0,2,6) = 10 pts
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9 Points
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War Memorial -
the sunset reddens
the deep silence
Cezar-Florin Ciobîcă
(1,2,2) = 9 pts
**Very moving. We have a good straightforward setting up first line,
and a phrase where even the sunset has its moment of silence. The
middle line really lifts the whole last two line phrase
her scent
this evening
glow
gogatsu
(0,2,5) = 9 pts
first kiss –
in the girl’s eyes
evening glow
Virginia Popescu
PHOENIX
(0,2,5) = 9 pts
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8 Points
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the glow of sunset
in cardboard shelters . . .
songs of the broken
Ron C. Moss
(2,0,2) = 8 pts
**Strong socio-economic haiku. Songs of the broken could be the
snores, shiftings, small and less groans. So many new people have been
broken, not yet acclimatised to their new homelessness.
left
in the buttercups
an evening glow
John McDonald
EDINBURGH SCOTLAND
(1,1,3) = 8 pts
That last lick of peach
where the ocean
swallows the sun.
Lynda True
(0,3,2) = 8 pts
**Very enjoyable verse!
red desert
a string of burros
plods across the sun
Garry Eaton
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
first kiss --
sunset clouds
blush crimson
-- Chitra Rajappa
(0,1,6) = 8 pts
**Nice use of "blush," here...
dusk -
the garden
lost its color
Carmel Lively Westerman
(0,0,8) = 8 pts
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7 Points
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flaming horizon -
i believe i am
mountain
Sandi Pray
USA
(1,1,2) = 7 pts
fireflies in Mason jars . . .
children wait
for the fireworks display
Bill Pauly
Dubuque, IA USA
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
** I absolutely love the image of the fireflies in the mason jar
against the fireworks~ great job.
end of the day-
smiling face of a beggar
counting coins
---kashinath karmakar
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
summer sunset
today’s last reflection
in the mirror
R.D. McManes
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
missed call
clouds turn from pink
to purple
polona
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
**Enjoyed the poignancy of the first line and a suggestion of time
passed in the phrase, perhaps wondering whether to call back or not,
before it’s too late.
cloudy sky
the rapeseed field
keeps on glowing
Niiko
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
beach souvenir
evening glow caught
in an agate
Barbara Snow
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
clouds at dusk --
the kid busy in selecting
crayon colours
Kumarendra Mallick
Hyderabad, India
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
**Ah, yes, a young child exploring their creativity in capturing that
end of day series of color in the sky amongst cloud. Quite magical.
dusk
a last roofing shingle
nailed in place
Tom Painting
(0,0,7) = 7 pts
fiery sunset --
even the cat watches
from the roof
~ Isabelle Prondzynski
(0,0,7) = 7 pts
**I enjoyed this light touch of humor, bringing in the cat yet
avoiding cliche and saccharine sentiment.
each bird call
flickers the silence...
evening glow
Kala Ramesh
(0,0,7) = 7 pts
**Fresh use of the verb 'flickers'.
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6 Points
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my friends cancer
wishing on a falling
star’s distant glow
Karin Anderson
(1,1,1) = 6 pts
rain ends a red surprise of setting sun
Angie Werren
(1,0,3) = 6 pts
orange sunset —
a file of egrets crosses
the horizon
~ Lydia Waithera
(1,0,3) = 6 pts
the way I feel
when we're together
aspenglow
Carolyn Coit Dancy
(0,3,0) = 6 pts
sunset verandah
this play of light on
my shadow side
Srishiva
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
**Good verse of play of light at the end of day with a good set up
line, as verandahs have their different unique characters through the
day.
cows come home
through the evening glow
a light in the barn
Beth Powell
(0,0,6) = 6 pts
**I grew up in cow country; can totally see this one.
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5 Points
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crescent moon
in the gloaming-
stolen kiss
Jone Rush MacCulloch
(1,1,0) = 5 pts
golden dusk lightens places not lit since last year
D W Skrivseth
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
front porch
the setting sun caught
on the sweating glass
Diane Mayr
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
early evening
a house glows
with golden windows
Frances O'Keeffe
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
the eighty candles
on her birthday cake-
evening glow
- R.K. Sameer
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
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4 Points
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rainy evening glow -
the moon will rise again
on the dried pool
STOPS
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
Last glowing-red gold
behind the distant mountains —
tomorrow's travel
Horst Ludwig
(0,2,0) = 4 pts
Evening Glow
a touch of perfume
for each pulse point
Michele L. Harvey
(0,2,0) = 4 pts
even... after dark his sunburn glows
Donna Bauerly
Dubuque, IA
(0,2,0) = 4 pts
ward windows
glazed by orange sunset
young bald heads
if
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
alpine glow
the chickadee
calls again
Bill Hudson
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
fading sunset
a shimmering blackbird
settles down with the night
Bernard Gieske
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
his proposal--
a deep evening glows
on her pale cheeks
John Daleiden,
Phoenix, Arizona in the Sonoran Desert
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
a fallen coin
near the stop bus -
sunset
Israel López Balan
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
winter breeze —
embers dying
glow once more
Hansha Teki
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
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3 Points
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motel again
but some angels
bake cookies
Ralf Bröker
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
A feast of color:
yellow, orange, carmine, black -
dusk's kaleidescope
Robert C. Howard
Belleville IL, USA
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
evening glow—
he rested his chin
on his left hand
Ernesto P. Santiago
Philippines
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
Summer twilight..
backwaters a mass of
golden ripples
- Anitha Varma
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
sunset
swallowing my words ...
blood tests results
Sebastian Lucacs
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
moonlight
on yellow roses
late summer
jill
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
the wind pauses too
in this mountain meadow
evening glow
--iokua
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
relaxing evening -
a lifeguard is watching
the sinking of the sun
Cristina Oprea
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
glowing sunset —
Mount Kenya shimmering
on the horizon
~ Shalvine Mbone
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
after the sun
embers
under beef
Hugh Waterhouse
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
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2 Points
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at dusk, the groundskeeper
removes the flagsticks
at night, ghosts steal the holes
Bill Gottlieb
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
**It feels like another form other than haiku, but what a wonderful verse!
supporting
embers of the sun...
a dark horizon
Kirsty Karkow
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
winter sunset
vagrant thoughts ripple
the gold-red lake
Paresh Tiwari
Hyderabad, India
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
dappled sunlight
in the empty nest --
orange hour
Arvinder kaur
Chandigarh, India
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
from the window
of the burned house
evening glow
--Highlander
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
evening glow-
an orange rim to the notes
of rain
Anonymous
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
**Fresh take on rain.
glooming light ...
old man not so eager
going to bed
Juhani Tikkanen
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
evening glow
the child`s sleeping
apple cheek
Oddbjørn Aardalen
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
**Anyone who has cared for a fair-skinned child has seen this!
sun and sea
making love on the horizon...
blushing sky
Dejan Pavlinovic
Pula, Croatia
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
setting up camp
dark canyon walls
frame the evening glow
Edward
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
**Seeing the flickers and hearing the echoes...
night on the bay
trailing phosphorescence
your kayak and mine
Doris
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
dim evening glow —
rising songs of crickets
in their nests
~ Lydia Nekesa
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
**Crickets build their nests in tall grasses and other vegetation and
literally ring in the Summer. There is a good contrast between the
dimming light of day and the rising song or crescendo of the crickets.
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One Point
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lovers strolling
in the evening glow...
the scent of spring
Keith A. Simmonds
T & T
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
short day
the twilight glows
the snow
Ramesh Anand
Bangalore, India
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
twilight...
the glow of
a day moon
Vinay Leo R.
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
glorious sunset
with my melancholy
gone down...
Tuvshinzaya Nergui
Tsetserleg city, Mongolia
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
they say it's plankton
the night sea's iridescence -
and your eyes?
maxianne
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
so less
from my past -
evening glow
Eduard TARA
Romania
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
evening in camp
weary firefighters watching
the orange sky
Ruth Powell
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
evening glow —
the darkness in my room
fills with sunrays
~ Agnes Aruda
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
evening glow…
his eyes the million facets
of a nestled sun
Alegria Imperial
Canada
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
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No Points This Time, Sorry.
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almost twilight
orange glow
sharpens vision
Tom Conally
birds
returning to nests
sky welcomes in multi colors
purush-guntur
a midsummer night's sigh
start morning fires
from evening embers
Jon Espen Vassbotn
orange sky glow
gun shy before a storm
since the tornado
assu
David C. Kopaska-Merkel
Tuscaloosa, AL 35404
Evening glow -
Is this a poppy or
a shooting star?
Steliana Cristina Voicu
Ploiesti, Romania
kindling dusk
night and day kiss as they pass
and go on their way
miriam chaikin
safely back home
as the last of evening glow
dissipates
B
summer clouds-
oh , are you the last
sultry coals !
Rita Odeh
Nazareth, IL
Evening glow,
we watch the western sky.
Gulls fly east.
Trevor Camp
fire burns down to coals
just it and the Christmas tree
only light we need
Deirdre Godwin
perfect stillness alpenglow on Everest
Bruce H. Feingold
the sky
of the sunset colors
our parting
Anonymous
fragile sky
I count down the embers
through the night
Alan Summers
impact craters - nay
tonight...it's man in the moon
that sets hearts aglow
Tony
sultriness ...
a black kite measures
the gloaming
Ramona
flowering jasmine
glowing in the soft light...
white nights magic
Natalia Kuznetsova
sunset glow
reflected
in campfire embers
James Dobson
evening glow —
rising moon in a cloudless
starry sky
~ Kelvin Kamindo
evening glow —
fading sunrays make the hills
look dark blue
~ Millicent Akinyi
street vendors
start lighting paraffin lamps —
fading sunset
~ Irene Aluoch
bats flying across
an orange streaked sky --
red sunset
~ Patrick Wafula
summer beach wind-
from our wand, carries
bubbles to the sunset
Anonymous
autumn twilight
like a rainbow -
amazed child
Miorita
family reunion
retelling our stories
by campfire light
Catherine J.S. Lee
**Atmospheric.
a young moon
growing brighter and brighter —
fading evening glow
~ Jane Diana
massive mountain wave cloud
ablaze with pinks and oranges
of setting sun
Jane DeJonghe
glowing sunset —
red sunrays appear
on our wall
~ Benrogius Musili
triple digit temperatures
the evening glow
hot as noon
Brenda Roberts,
Secretary
Fort Worth Haiku Society
evening glow...
the old couple's gold rings
out of sight
Cristina-Monica Moldoveanu
**Intriguing phrase. Is it because of the end of day that the fear of
home invasion grows (although early morning and afternoon invasions
are more common), or is it a private practice between the couple?
glowing sunset —
red sunrays light clouds
on the horizon
~ Naomi Andauza
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General Comments:
** Some could not resist the opportunity to go poetical, and some
expected the phrase "evening glow" to do all the work. Also, dusk is
what you get after the evening has stopped glowing. But here are half
a dozen that realize some of the possibilities of the kigo.
**The difficulty this month was not in choosing but in eliminating.
There were so many excellent haiku. I wished, wished, wished I’d had
more points to give.
**I will bet there is an "alpine" or "alpen" haiku group!
**Interesting theme which most participants took as a call for
romantic and/or naturalistic images.
**I found many very nice and excellent haiku
about the glow, but I have only 6 points to share!
**Winter here, yet the peach blossom is already out! The birds are
busy looking for mates and building homes...
**Thanks again for this chance! Some very good haiku in this batch!!
**It was difficult to choose for both the kigo and free format, not
because there were so many excellant haiku, but because there were so
many poor ones. I include my own as a poor haiku because in reading it
here I see that I should have eliminated a word. Some, like my own,
would benefit with a little cutting.
**I have so many favorites Haiku, but I have to choose only 3...
**Lovely kigo, and I enjoyed collecting the haiku from the students.
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Free Format Theme:
VEGETABLE(S)
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First Place - 40 Points
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shelling peas—
the idle chit chat
of sisters
Beth Powell
(1,12,13) = 40 pts
** This is so evocative of the lovely atmosphere when shelling peas
together. Beautiful summer haiku
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Second Place - 25 Points
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onions...
I feel her absence
cutting through
Vinay Leo R.
(2,5,9) = 25 pts
**Very poignant, and a very good haiku.
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Third Place - 24 Points
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tomato soup
we compare
our accents
Michele L. Harvey
(0,5,14) = 24 pts
**This one made me laugh!
**Simple but highly effective haiku.
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23 Points
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kitchen confession...
one onion skin
after another
Hugh Waterhouse
(0,7,9) = 23 pts
**British serial dramas used to be called Soaps because they
advertised soap products I believe. Often the drama was around the
main family room, the kitchen, though times have changed.
But kitchens still have their dramas, be it the drinks room for
parties and bbqs, or someone drinking too much wine while preparing a
late meal. The phrase creates a great tension because of the first
line.
We have information left unsaid and we as readers have been shown
respect in that we can create our own backstory and become a co-poet
as we read this haiku.
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21 Points
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in between
rows of squash
a picker's rump
h. gene murtha
(2,4,7) = 21 pts
my wife's hands
carving radishes
into roses
Michael McClintock
(1,3,12) = 21 pts
**Romance should never die, even with radishes. Enjoyed this.
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16 Points
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old woman –
in her wrinkled hands
a smooth tomatoe
Virginia Popescu
PHOENIX
(0,5,6) = 16 pts
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15 Points
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cilantro--
letting my nose
lead me to it
Kirsty Karkow
(0,4,7) = 15 pts
rainy afternoon
the art class paints a basket
of yellow peppers
Catherine J.S. Lee
(0,4,7) = 15 pts
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14 Points
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chopped cucumber
she asks me to get
a vasectomy
John McManus
(1,2,7) = 14 pts
**Ouch. Not quite a match between the two, er, parts, but it evokes a response.
abandoned house --
a tomato plant thrives
in the rubble
~ Isabelle Prondzynski
(0,1,12) = 14 pts
**A familiar sort of theme, but there is nothing wrong with that.
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13 Points
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heat wave—
even the green beans
lose their snap
Lynda True
(0,2,9) = 13 pts
**I love a bit of humor in haiku! Is there a name for that?
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12 Points
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tiny kitchen —
mother and son
chopping celery
Roberta Beary
(0,3,6) = 12 pts
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11 Points
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the balance
in a vendor's hand ...
my wavering mind
Kala Ramesh
(1,2,4) = 11 pts
carrots
in every pocket
for my therapy horse
Marie Stutts
(0,2,7) = 11 pts
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10 Points
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discarding
the rotten tomato
the end of the affair
Bernard Gieske
(1,2,3) = 10 pts
peeling onions
he tries to remember
when did he last weep
--kashinath karmakar
(0,2,6) = 10 pts
**We all suffer at times in trying to explain too much, to cram too
much into a haiku and this often creates awkward syntax e.g. the word
"did" undoes the haiku. It's a terrific penultimate draft and kudos to
you in flipping the cliché on its head to create something fresh. The
last line is simply too "full" and I wonder whether:
peeling onions
he tries to remember
when he last wept
winter morning --
the farmer counts
the cabbage heads
Kumarendra Mallick
Hyderabad, India
(0,2,6) = 10 pts
**A quiet and typical haiku for the farming culture, quietly
atmospheric, one to enjoy reading many times in a collection.
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8 Points
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patiently sewn--
vegetables in the corners
of grandma's tea towels
Barbara Snow
(1,2,1) = 8 pts
**I hope not real ones, but a child might show that unique care and
attention lost to an adult. Or it could be that grandma is sewing
depictions of vegetables into her tea towels to add something original
and unique to her.
after parting...
onion rings scattered
in the plate
Rita
(1,0,5) = 8 pts
nothing better -
acres of sweet corn
for hide-and-seek
Carolyn Coit Dancy
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
**Why should those acres be seen as scary when they are great
playgrounds for children, and much needed food for everyone later when
matured.
cabbage
the way she looks
at him
gogatsu
(0,1,6) = 8 pts
**I don't think I know what this is saying, but my bafflement is worth a point.
October wind...
the rattle of pole beans
missed in August
Diane Mayr
(0,1,6) = 8 pts
**Atmospheric, and using sound, not merely a visual haiku.
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7 Points
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vegetable mart
parking lot opposite
cars of many colours
Vishnu P Kapoor
(2,0,1) = 7 pts
recounting
her abused childhood
fresh ears of corn
if
(1,1,2) = 7 pts
**Terribly poignant. Abuse has been covered up for far too long and
not often enough covered as a suitable subject in poetry. Bravo for
bringing this vile practice up in a haiku. The last line is haunting
in connection with the previous two lines.
he ignores
another suggestion...
sparrows stealing peas
polona
(1,1,2) = 7 pts
early fall
the squirrel tastes
the first tomato
Ramesh Anand
Bangalore, India.
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
**Might be more effectively organized, but the moment has an impact.
crookneck squash
she says i don't understand
her orgasm
--iokua
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
**She sounds familiar. Eccentric jux; I like it.
**53.
This must be from a heterosexual man. The first line is deliciously
erotic whilst the phrase is brutally honest.
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6 Points
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blanching peas
in my mother's kitchen
my heart is full
Ruth Powell
(1,1,1) = 6 pts
snow on the porch
basil plant on the benchtop...
tiny smell of summer
Aalix Roake
New Zealand
(1,1,1) = 6 pts
**Such a powerful picture with the snow on the porch and the scent of
the basil.... like a painting... So beautiful haiku!
ripe tomatoes
bursting with fire in the sun...
her shameless eyes
natalia kuznetsova
(0,2,2) = 6 pts
homeless camp
sharing
the stolen vegetables
Garry Eaton
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
**The big supermarkets throw out, as trash, a huge amount of
vegetables and other food products every single day of the year, yet
too often they make it difficult for the homeless to take them, due to
locked bins and spraying the food with something nasty. There is more
generosity shown in that sharing than dumping huge amounts of
perfectly good food out just to rot.
vegetable market -
wandering among
fresh colors
Eduard TARA
Romania
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
a group of girls
picking bedstraws -
the first stars
Miorita
(0,0,6) = 6 pts
small town
my freckled neighbor
sells tomatoes
Cristina-Monica Moldoveanu
(0,0,6) = 6 pts
**Very sweet! Tomatoes are fruit though, not vegetables, didn't your
neighbour know that?
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5 Points
----------------------------------
tomatoes ripen
in the summer heat . . .
skin on skin
Ron C. Moss
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
**Hot, anyway.
market square –
all the colors of
the vegetables
Tomislav
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
lunch time...
playing hide and seek
with a cherry tomato
Dejan Pavlinovic
Pula, Croatia
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
blossoming eggplants…
the flutter
in the hen house
Stella Pierides
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
blue skies
a long row of daikon
pierce red earth
Barbara A. Taylor
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
late autumn...
red tomatoes are ready
for the next life
Tuvshinzaya Nergui
Tsetserleg city, Mongolia
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
these tomatoes
in my hand, the robin's
daytime song
Angie Werren
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
cutting tomatoes
the full moon
in the window
Israel López Balan
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
----------------------------------
4 Points
----------------------------------
here a squash
there a squash everywhere
a squash--squash
Donna Bauerly
Dubuque, IA
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
** This one amusingly reflects nature’s seemingly sudden bounty.
**If you have ever grown squash, you know the truth!
village show
marvelling at the size
of the onions
Katrina
(0,2,0) = 4 pts
pea picking -
dad's basket full
of opened pods
JOHN McDONALD
EDINBURGH SCOTLAND
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
an old cook
sings himself in his dialect--
the taste of gazpacho
Dorota Pyra
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
**An interesting order and choice of words in the middle line. I
wonder if "in his" is revised to "his own" might tighten up that
wonderful middle line a bit more?
aubergine patch-
this short-lived
summer
Anonymous
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
volunteer spuds
last year's peelings
bloom on the compost
Frances O'Keeffe
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
----------------------------------
3 Points
----------------------------------
tomato blossoms climbing over their support squirrels check daily
D W Skrivseth
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
**This is my favorite. I imagine the cute squirells researching
tomatoes. I just love it!
giant kelp
whip whipping
itself
Bill Gottlieb
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
"Eat your veggies, man,
so that you live long on earth
and see what is good."
Horst Ludwig
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
A Latin song -
I crunch on a carrot
to the music beat.
Zhanna P. Rader
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
Grilled eggplants –
The postman brings me
an old friend letter
Steliana Cristina Voicu
Ploiesti, Romania
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
my cabbage patch
resists Monsanto . . .
white butterflies
Hansha Teki
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
**It's sad that now we have to struggle against the big companies who
want to make our foodstock unnatural for great profit. We forget that
as much as some insects might be considered pests, that the natural
order of nature works for everyone. A fine haiku, plus containing a
contemporary issue that will haunt us for generations to come.
vegetable lady
her proceeds kept
in a coffee can
Tom Painting
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
my gardener friend —
so pleased when I ask about
this year’s snow peas
Shelley Krause
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
licking my fingers
the last leaf
of the artichoke
Ellen Compton
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
Soweto roadside —
a woman dusts and waters
her spinach
~ Naomi Andausa
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
**I love this seemingly illogical action of dusting a spinach and
watering it, then dusting then watering. Very atmospheric, and a great
action haiku.
farmers market
vendors try to give away
their zucchini
Edward
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
her muffled sniffle
amidst the kitchen clatter -
chopping onions
-Nandini
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
----------------------------------
2 Points
----------------------------------
tools of my calling
caldron and a wooden spoon
ratatouille time
Deirdre Godwin
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
twining vines
shade mama's porch--
green beans
jill
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
he selects
vegetables soup
and prime rib
Anonymous
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
late supper —
my brother fills his mouth
with pumpkin
~ Aidah Kageha
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
tommy toes
the squishy feel
of summer
michaelb205
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
picking tomatos--
leave the green ones
for another day
John Daleiden
Phoenix, Arizona in the Sonoran Desert
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
a solar system
in the garden
sunflower and pumpkins
Robert Kania
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
Soweto market —
a woman chasing a goat
eating her cow peas
~ Agness Aruda
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
**Always good to include a place name, and the humor is infectious
with the play of goat and cow. It's also a great action haiku!
the basic numbers -
another spoon of spinach
before the dessert
Cristina Oprea
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
street children squabble
over squashed avocados --
Soweto dump site
~ Patrick Wafula
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
**I would change around the order of lines in this poem, and lose "site" e.g.
Soweto dump
the street children squabble
over squashed avocados
**So much of our food is thrown away, this is a good poem in its
penultimate draft stage, that shows that at least street children can
appreciate the food more than someone with a lot of money.
the green salad
undressed
on wikileeks
Jon Espen Vassbotn
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
honeymoon fare…
my first bite of quartered
artichoke hearts
Alegria Imperial, Canada
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
**Interesting tension in this well-crafted haiku.
steady drought ...
dreaming of
growing lettuce
Cezar-Florin Ciobîcă
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
----------------------------------
One Point
----------------------------------
july fourth
ripe tomatoes
on my plate
Tom Conally
Gibsonville, NC
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
iron deficiency
doctor prescribes
leafy vegetables.
purush-guntur
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
week-long heat wave
rubbing across my arm
a cucumber
Adelaide B. Shaw
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
farmers market--
trade a smooch
for a zucchini?
Bill Pauly
Dubuque, Iowa USA
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
morning market
on a pregnant woman's t-shirt
picture of a water melon
Niiko
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
children's quiz
are tomatoes fruits
dad?
Ralf Bröker
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
**Yes! Someone knows their vegetables! It's a fruit! Although the
United States Supreme Court, see Nix v. Hedden, has caused confusion
by naming it a vegetable instead. We have the amazing Mexican people
to thank for because they had already cultivated tomatoes to a fine
art by 500BC, boy were the rest of us really slow as it took us a
thousand more years to eat them!
my eskimo kiss
brr grandma your nose
turNIPS mine
Karin Anderson
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
Soweto market —
a woman washing aphids
from fresh kales
~ Esther Nyangweso
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
**I imagine that is a common sight, with no handy factories doing the
work of insect removal. A great scene is put to us. Wonderful!
red volcanic soil
an eruption of green
vegetable seedlings
Elaine Riddell
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
simple broth-
peeling the ingredients
I say I love you
Alan Summers
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
cool evening —
my grandmother picking
ladybirds from kales
~ Melvine Ayako
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
Veggie destiny -
scything crops from tranquil rows.
They call it harvest .
Robert C. Howard
Belleville IL USA
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
july 4th
our modest celebration
with sugar snaps
Anonymous
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
gathering corn
in a dragonfly breeze -
sultry afternoon
Sandi Pray
USA
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
tomato curry -
neighbour's kitchen wafts in
for rumbling stomachs
Paresh Tiwari
Hyderabad, India
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
I make carrotnoises
waiting for a hare
to jump into the kukai
Oddbjørn Aardalen
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
farmer’s market
Amish boy’s calloused hands
rutabaga
Doris
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
face full of
pillow strips …
cabbages
Reza
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
toddler gasps --
discovering carrot's orange
beneath feather green leaves
Jane DeJonghe
(0,0,1) = 1 pts
--------------------------------------
No Points This Time, Sorry.
---------------------------------------
supermarket
frozen vegetable medley
from a plastic husk
R. D. McManes
bus stop
the squashed tomato’ shadow
touches me
martin gottlieb cohen
five potatoes
on a messy bench -
breakfast conversation
Anonymous
clinging
to the taste buds...
glistening aubergines
Keith A. Simmonds
T & T
so many ways
to say goodbye -
beaten with tomatoes
STOPS
she grins around
snow peas fresh from the vines
full fists and cheeks
assu
tilling potatoes
did someone bury
a football?
Bill Hudson
newlyweds
planting their first garden -
"love apples"
maxianne
my cat
sits in window
plays charades with me
let me guess -- eggplant?
miriam chaikin
All is quiet
no one makes a sound.
Sweet peas sleep.
Trevor Camp
walnut-endive salad
he ignores the absence
of the steak
(Ramona)
green pearls--
as alike as the peas
in this pod
James Dobson.
this heat
the jalapeños
set on
Ann K. Schwader
vacant lot-
overnight
tomatoes appear
Jone. Rush MacCulloch
cabbage spring rolls
amid chanting of mantras--
monsoon wedding
Arvinder kaur
Chandigarh, IIndia
fresh vegetables
her grandma is hoping
I don’t lose hunger
Ernesto P. Santiago
Philippines
lots of snow...
sparrows try to find
the scraps I throw
Anitha Varma
garden at evening
a tomato's reflection
on the table
--Highlander
dilly beans-
letting my sister-in-law teach
me how to "pickle"
Anonymous
in a pickle
the clock has broken
late again!
Brenda Roberts,
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
General Comments:
** I was attracted to those haiku that didn't just tell a story, but
left something unfinished for the reader to think about.
**I believe the tomato is a fruit, not a vegetable. But (just this
once) let it pass.
[I’ll take the blame for that – GH]
**It was very interesting to read all the haiku and to evaluate them.
It is not that easy a task.
**This was such fun! I thoroughly enjoyed it! thank you!!
**Thanks so much for this wonderful chance to read and vote on some
very good haiku!!
**Had a nice Shiki month this time.
**“Love Apples” - a folk name for tomatoes ;-)
**So glad you used one of Hortensia’s fine haiku for an
example...though none of us may match it.
**There is also a Soweto in the outskirts of Nairobi (Kenya). This is
where the haiku mentioning Soweto were written.
Thank you for participating in the July 2013 Kukai!
We will announce the September 2013 Call for Submissions on Monday,
September 2nd. See you then!
With much appreciation,
The Shiki Monthly Kukai Team