August 2015 Kukai

The Shiki Monthly Kukai

August 2015 Kukai 

Here are the results for the August 2015 Kukai, wherein our Kigo subject was STARLIT NIGHT, and our Free Format subject was PATH.  If you find any errors, please let me know so I can correct them online.  If you find any of the comments on your haiku to be offensive, I will remove them on request.

 

Congratulations to ***Ignatius Fay***, winner of our Kigo section and to ***Carole MacRury***, winner of our Free Format section!

 

 In the listing below, after each poem the author is listed, and then a three digit code revealing how many 3-point, 2-point, and 1-point points were cast for this poem by the other participating poets.

(2,1,4 = 12) would indicate that the poem above received two 3-point votes, one 2-point vote, and four 1-point votes.

 

VOTERS' comments are indicated by "**"

POETS' comments are indicated by "^^"

Kigo Theme: 

STARLIT NIGHT

 

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First Place -  33 Points

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starlit lake

a tossed pebble falls

to infinity

 

Ignatius Fay

(1,8,14) = 33 pts

**A clear observation falling right into my imagination -- beautiful!

 

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Second Place -   29 Points

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the distance

from puddle to puddle

starlit night

 

Bill Kenney

(1,6,14) = 29 pts

**I like the surface simplicity of this one – measuring the distance “from puddle to puddle.” However, the juxtaposition with “starlit night” suddenly gives the poem greater depth, a depth that expands as that distance is now between closed (or contained) and opened, between the stars themselves, between the stars and Earth, to finally a distance between life and death. This is a wonderful haiku that keeps expanding and keeps me coming back to it! Brava/Bravo!!!

 

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Third Place -   25 Points

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starlit night --

only the sound

of my paddle

 

Ruth Powell

(0,7,11) = 25 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

 17 Points 

----------------------------------

 

starlit night

she traces the spot

my razor missed

 

Roberta Beary

(0,5,7) = 17 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

16  Points 

----------------------------------

 

starlit night...

no longer looking

for words

 

Anonymous

(0,3,10) = 16 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

 15 Points 

---------------------------------- 

 

starlit night--

a sand crab comes out

of hiding

 

Carole MacRury

(1,2,8) = 15 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

14  Points 

----------------------------------

 

puddles—

the splash as she steps

on the stars

 

Gautam Nadkarni

(1,1,9) = 14 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

 13 Points 

----------------------------------

 

hole in the thatched roof

this one star

to keep me company

 

Bill Hudson

(0,4,5) = 13 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

 12 Points 

----------------------------------

 

blackout -

the silence of 

a starlit night

 

Israel López Balan

Mexico City, Mexico

(0,3,6) = 12 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

11  Points 

----------------------------------

 

starlit night-

the distinct texture

of a fresh grave

 

-Kashinath Karmakar

India

(1,1,6) = 11 pts

 

 

counting stars...

where have all those

moments gone

 

Anitha Varma,

Kerala, India

(0,2,7) = 11 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

10 Points 

----------------------------------

 

the empty jar

on the windowsill

filled with stars

 

Chandra Bales

(2,1,2) = 10 pts

 

 

starlit night --

poppies the colour

of shadows

 

James Dobson,

Prudhoe, UK.

(1,1,5) = 10 pts

 

 

summer night

the stars, too, kick off

the covers

 

--Diane Mayr

(0,3,4) = 10 pts

**Very cute! I suggest, though, making the second line break after ‘too’, moving ‘kick off’ to the third line. I think it makes the line more powerful.

 

starlit night

my father's

last breath

 

Kaiser Kahn

(0,3,4) = 10 pts

 

 

starlit night

a twinkle in the pines

when the wind blows

 

Adelaide

(0,2,6) = 10 pts

**What a beautiful haiku, truly capturing the moment. Beautiful assonance with short and long /i/ and the alliteration of /w/ is so soft which enhances the mood of this haiku – I picture a pristine snowscape where frost clings to the pine needles and twinkles in the moonlight when the wind hits it just right, just like the twinkling stars.

 

starlit night

the distant

barking

 

Oddbjørn Aardalen

(0,1,8) = 10 pts

 

 

starlit night—

heat carries the scent

of jasmine

 

Cyndi Lloyd

(0,1,8) = 10 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

9  Points 

----------------------------------

 

nighttime walk --

the silhouette of my sister

in the starlight

 

~ Mercy Mukosia

(Kenya)

(1,2,2) = 9 pts

 

 

starlit night...

crocheting

our monosyllables

 

Yesha Shah

Surat, India

(0,1,7) = 9 pts

**What a wonderful phrase: “crocheting / our monosyllables.” And of course, I think of the ultimate monosyllables, I love you, exchanged under the romantic starlit night. However, I think “we crochet” would make the haiku stronger. 

 

 ----------------------------------

 8 Points 

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lake full of stars

somewhere deep in the silence

a fish rises

 

Gerry Bravi

(Canada)

(0,2,4) = 8 pts

**Picturesque, with allusions both metaphysical and delicious! :)

 

 ----------------------------------

 7 Points 

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starlit night

both hands in the shade

a Buddha

 

Svend A. Doggfall

(1,1,2) = 7 pts

 

 

the journey

not the destination...

starlit night

 

polona

(0,2,3) = 7 pts

 

 

taut netting--

still I lose

a falling star

 

Alegria Imperial

(0,2,3) = 7 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

6  Points 

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exploding fireworks

in silence beyond glimmers

the milky way

 

Vishnu P Kapoor

india

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

**Lovely image

 

night swimming -

the heavens twinkling

at the surface

 

-Priscilla Cook

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

 

 

starlit night --

last raindrops dripping

from the trees

 

~ Isabelle Prondzynski,

Ireland

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

 

 

train window-seat-

I pull along with me

a trolley of stars

 

Vidya S Venkatramani INDIA

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

 

 

starlit night

her breasts glitter

in the lake

 

Dorota Ocińska

Karin

(0,0,6) = 6 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

 5 Points 

----------------------------------

 

twinkling among stars

the spire light of a church

on a hill

 

Ajaya Mahala

Pune, India

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

 

 

starlit night

squeezing dad's hand

his eyelids flutter

 

maxianne

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

 

 

mountain deep

how the stars shine

right through me

 

Sandi Pray

USA

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

 

 

starlit night...

the xylophonist's

symphony

 

S.E. Buffington

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

 

  

starlit night . . .

a few brushstrokes

wet with silence

 

Paresh Tiwari

India

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

 

 

bright autumn night

the old birch

in a sequin dress

 

Jon Espen Vassbotn

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

 

 

perseid shower…

the path i follow

to nothing

 

Ted van Zutphen

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

 

 

one week

after the funeral

starlit night

 

-Deborah P Kolodji

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

 

 

starlit night

a different constellation

from every window

 

Paul Hodder

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

** I would have given this more points if L3 had been shorter. It would be better as "from each window"

 

starlit night---

from the seaside bakery

the scent of warm bread

 

Penny Harter

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

 4 Points 

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falling star

so close -

do I smell burning?

 

Jane DeJonghe

(1,0,1) = 4 pts

 

 

Autumnal midnight.

Stars guide the old seafarer

into the next day.

 

Horst Ludwig

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

 

 

star-lit beach…

a shooting star

and sake

 

D W Skrivseth

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

 

 

starlit night

she had me believing

I was her first

 

Tom Painting

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

 

 

blanket of stars

the warmth

of the campfire

 

Kanavu Nila

Bangalore, India

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

 

 

reminding myself

to turn off the lights

starlit night

 

Billy Antonio

Laoac, Pangasinan, Philippines

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

 

 

hand in hand

Perseid showers

in your eyes

 

charlie smith

raleigh, nc

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

 

 

starlit night

clear water stirs

in its stillness

 

Hansha

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

 

 

starlit night

please turn off

all electronic devices

 

Alan S. Bridges

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

 

 

flickering stars -

the tent surrounded

by mosquitoes

 

Carmel Lively Westerman

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

 

 

mountain top

a canopy of stars

above and below

 

Jayashree Maniyil

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

 3 Points 

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Persied shower

too many stars for counting

or for wishing on

 

Deirdre Godwin

(1,0,0) = 3 pts

 

 

starlit night

the campfire’s embers show

constellations

 

Harvey Jenkins

(1,0,0) = 3 pts

 

 

fall color

quietly glowing...

starlit night

 

Pat Geyer

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

 

 

drive-in movie

under a

starlit night

 

Tom Conally

Gibsonville, NC

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

**I keep thinking ‘simplistic,’ but the very simplicity and the allusions won’t let me go.

^^there are 2 drive-ins left in North Carolina

 

winter cottage loft

the big dipper

crosses the skylight

 

jill

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

 

 

the starlit sky -

a nightingale and I

its passionate owners

 

Zhanna P. Rader

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

 

 

starlit night

my dark thoughts

revisited

 

oga

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

 

 

late night news

the sky still full

of stars

 

Barbara Snow

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

 

 

starlit-canal --

dropping stones onto them

from the bridge

 

John McDonald Edinburgh Scotland

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

 

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 2 Points 

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night, forever...

the boy holding

a tinfoil star

 

Lavana Kray

Romania

(0,1,0) = 2 pts

 

 

starlit night-

up the wooden mountain

to slumberland

 

--Kirsty Karkow

(0,1,0) = 2 pts

 

 

starry night...

the lights of the city

behind the mountain

 

Dejan Pavlinović

Pula, Croatia

(0,1,0) = 2 pts

 

 

starlit night

phosphorescence streams

from a bulging net

 

Garry Eaton

(0,1,0) = 2 pts

 

 

Starlit nights recalled

Blind man walking Memory’s roads

Any time he likes

 

James Thoune

Bowling Green, KY USA

(0,1,0) = 2 pts

 

 

starlit night -

the bouquet from you

fading away

 

Ana Drobot

Bucharest, Romania

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

 

 

starlight glistening in your eyes the ecstasy

 

--iokua

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

 

 

starlit night--

the desert shadows

look more menacing

 

Edward

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

 

 

a clear starlit night -

sea sparkle* with different worlds

above and below

 

Daniela Bullas

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

*Noctiluca scintillans, marine-dwelling species of dinoflagellate that

exhibits bioluminescence.

 

**If the ‘*’ was intentional, it was a stroke of genius; if it was accidental, then it was a gift from Karma. I would drop the article at the very beginning, though.

 

starlit night

almost

heaven

 

Rafał Zabratyński

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

 

 

starlit night remembering grandmother’s twinkle

 

Anonymous

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

**Ah, very endearing, but also cliché.

 

starlit night-

between the twinkles

her dying wish

 

Munia Khan

Dhaka, Bangladesh

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

 1 Points

----------------------------------

 

falling over

in the dark looking up

at starlit sky lab

 

Donna Bauerly

Dubuque, IA

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

 

 

starlit night

flickering candle lifts

wishing balloon

 

John Hubbard

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

 

 

starlit night

two

in your eyes

 

Barbara Campitelli

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

 

 

august hill top

two frecklefaces high five

the starlit sky

 

Anne Zooey Lind

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

 

 

starry sky –

so many invisible

eyes!

 

Tomislav

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

 

 

Bora Bora

someone shook

the blanket of sky

 

Doris

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

 

 

cold starlit night

first snow still on the snout

of the stone lion

 

Boris Nazansky

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

**haiku would be stronger without the redundancy of “cold,” and lines 2-3 could be tightened. I enjoyed the fresh image of the stone lion.

 

new moon

the starlit night

brighter

 

Anonymous

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

 

 

the night blazing

with silver twinkles --

starlit night

 

~ GLADYS KATUNGE

(KENYA)

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

 

 

early dusk --

stars start appearing

one after the other

 

~ Sammy Musili

(Kenya)

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

 

 

reminding the childhood –

in the starlit night

only a cricket

 

Miorita

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

 

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No Points This Time, Sorry. 

--------------------------------------- 

 

starlit night-

parading the red carpet, the Cartier necklace outshines

all others.

 

Terra Martin

 

over the streets,

over the row-houses --

starlit night

 

Michael McClintock

 

 

 starlit night

lonely drive home

if only she said yes

 

Bernard Gieske

 

  

Milky Way alight...

what would become of us

without fairy tales

 

Natalia Kuznetsova

Russia

 

  

Blue Moon

The stars are shining

Whitely

 

Mr PC

 

  

polluted rivers

valleys fracked for coal –

let’s leave the stars alone

 

Anonymous

 **Interesting take on leaving the “stars alone.” Really made me stop and think about our space exploration. 

 

clear night sky

too many wishes

to dream of

 

Barbara A. Taylor

Mountain Top, NSW

Australia

  

 

Summer break…

two young lovers basking 

in the starlit night

 

Keith A. Simmonds

Rodez, France

 

  

sliver of a moon

countless splendid gems

this starlit night

 

Frances O'Keeffe

 

  

bright 

starlit night - 

burglar's nightmare

 

Juhani Tikkanen

 

  

i see stripes of starlits in the air

tomorrow they'll be two stripes 

of snow behind me

 

janisor

 

  

starry night ... 

my shadow and I

trudge along

 

Vandana Parashar 

India

 

 

 a million twinkles -

the one star that died

in the sky's lap

 

Arvinder kaur

Chandigarh, India

 

  

quiet enough

to hear her whisper, yes…

starlit night

 

Michele L. Harvey

 

  

river of stars

how do the grapes choose

their ripe colours

 

Ken Sawitri

(Jakarta, Indonesia)

 

  

a shooting star

sparkles across the Milky Way --

loud cricket songs

 

~ Patrick Wafula (Kenya)

 

  

field of fireflies

untold stars

light the sky

 

mike warner

  

 

adrift in a starry sky empty rowboat blinking with fireflies

 

kw

 

  

balmy summer night

aligning the telescope

to the Saturn

 

(Ramona)

 

 

 shooting star streaks

smear cross black velvet sky

last leaves fall

 

Mark A. Fisher

 

  

to my hometown

through the neon-glittering street

starlit night

 

Yukiko Yamada

  

 

Just starlight...

the ghost of my shadow

for company

 

R, Joyce Heon

 

  

summer stars-

the new constellation 

we find

 

Dawn Apanius

USA

  

 

gnat screen. . .

the lost frequencies

of a starlit night

 

Samar Ghose

 

  

starlit night

the fragrance of ceres

behind the moon

 

Jone Rush MacCulloch 

Portland, Oregon

  

 

starlit night --

mice in the meadow

a fat cat

 

starbear

 

  

specks of diamond --

the child forgets to pick up

in his dream

 

Kumarendra Mallick

Hyderabad India

 

 

 

Starlit night –

the cricket song rising

to the heavenly vault

 

Virginia Popescu 

PHOENIX

 

 

 overcast

the perseids shower

out back

 

- ru, canada

  

 

more than two words 

the teenager says 

cool starlit night

 

--Peter Newton

 

  

moonless night;

a bat streaks by silently-

starlit

 

manoj saranathan

  

 

starlit night . . .

how are we to find our way

to the huntress?

 

Bill Pauly

 

  

few stars penetrate

the summer haze

Alabama

 

assu

 **Worthy of a point, but unfortunately I ran out. So well captures our modern age and what we’ve created. And how wonderful when we can see more than one star. 

 

few stars tonight . . .

still, yours shines brightly

somewhere up there

 

eric p.

 

 

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General Comments:

**So many more deserve acknowledgement!

 

**Nothing stood out for me this month, but the six on my list all gave me pleasure.

 

**This was a great collection with some lovely poems and scenes...

 

**Some very excellent entries! Quite a challenge to choose the most! Thanks again for this chance to read and vote on them.

 

**Very difficult to choose from the constellation of entries!! Thanks for getting many stars to shine!

 

**I sorry not to have more ballots, this is a very rich and wonderful "starlit night"

and I very like many haiku here! 

 

**So many good choices this time. I decided to give each of my favorites one vote.

 

**The mention of starry night (and its variations) always reminds me of Ron Moss's wonderful starry night / what's left of my life / is enough, and that one's not easy to top.

 

 

Free Format Theme: 

PATH

 

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First Place -   23 Points

----------------------------------

 

well-worn path--

I take my memories

for a walk

 

Carole MacRury

(1,3,14) = 23 pts

 

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Second Place -  22 Points

----------------------------------

 

on the same path…

this caterpillar

and I

 

D W Skrivseth

(0,3,16) = 22 pts

**I would have preferred something more expressive then “the same.” Very Issa-like, which I enjoy.

 

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Third Place -  21 Points

----------------------------------

garden path 

the growing quiet 

of twilight birds

 

Tom Painting

(2,3,9) = 21 pts

**I love the mood that is captured in this ku. I can hear those birds and see the light and dark patches of twilight. Beautifully rendered moment.

 

 ----------------------------------

20 Points 

----------------------------------

the shortcut

takes longer than expected

raspberries

 

maxianne

(1,4,9) = 20 pts

**I was totally charmed by this -- so real and so beautifully written!

 

 ----------------------------------

17 Points 

----------------------------------

first light . . .

a young girl skipping

through birdsong

 

Paresh Tiwari

India

(1,4,6) = 17 pts

 

  ----------------------------------

13 Points 

----------------------------------

with no footpath

to follow…

falling leaves

 

Michele L. Harvey

(1,1,8) = 13 pts

**What an emotionally stirring haiku! Ah, no path to follow, how do we make our way/find our way. Haven’t we all experienced such difficulty. I love the image of “falling leaves,” and they just free fall and create their own path(s).

 

 ----------------------------------

11 Points 

----------------------------------

woodland path...

deeper and deeper

into my mind

 

Anonymous

(0,3,5) = 11 pts

**A strong haiku with a dark edge – I picture the “woodland” with dense full trees where there’s more dark than light. And then probing in the dark “deeper and deeper” into thoughts and feelings, trying to get at the light, to the truth.

 

along the path

forget-me-nots grow wild...

careless love

 

Ruth Powell

(0,2,7) = 11 pts

**‘love sprouts’ might make a stronger third line, but I like the allusion.

**Haiku could be stronger by showing “careless love” rather than telling it. Also, not sure which way to take it.

 

 ----------------------------------

10 Points 

----------------------------------

path to cemetery

rotten wooden arrow tilted

skyward

 

Vishnu P Kapoor

India

(2,1,2) = 10 pts

 

 

pilgrim path

hundreds of worn out sandals

nailed to a tree

 

Garry Eaton

(0,4,2) = 10 pts

**How inspiring – “pilgrim path” and how these travelers sojourned long distances to a sacred place. The image of “worn out sandals / nailed to a tree” is fresh. I’ve never heard of people doing this, so I Googled it and discovered it’s a legend rooted in the Native American belief that hanging your shoes on the tree will bring good luck.

 

only the stars 

keep me company

untrodden path

 

Anitha Varma

Kerala, Tripunithura

(0,3,4) = 10 pts

 

 

pathway to a friend

lined with

forget-me-nots

 

Frances O'Keeffe

(0,2,6) = 10 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

9 Points 

----------------------------------

 

owls...

an opening

to the deep woods

 

jennie townsend

(0,1,7) = 9 pts

 

 

zen garden

another sign reminds me

to stay on the path

 

Arkady Elterman

(0,0,9) = 9 pts

**Love the idea that “to stay on the path” can be taken literally and figuratively as the path to enlightenment. 

 

 ----------------------------------

8 Points 

----------------------------------

secreted letters

following the path

she never took

 

Bernard Gieske

(1,1,3) = 8 pts

 

 

bird flight -

the sudden edge

of a window frame

 

Nishant Mehrotra

(0,3,2) = 8 pts

 

 

meandering path

ending at the beginning

of our argument

 

Adelaide

(0,3,2) = 8 pts

**Definitely a ku worthy of points. So true of our arguments and meandering path is a great juxtaposed image against lines 2-3.

 

children's path

we make our way

back to who we were

 

Bill Pauly

(0,2,4) = 8 pts

 

 

skinny dipping the moon’s path

 

Nancy Smith

(0,1,6) = 8 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

7 Points 

----------------------------------

 

treacherous trail... 

I fall in and out 

of love

 

Vandana Parashar 

India

(1,0,4) = 7 pts

 

 

sidewalk crack

a wayward violet

grows untended

 

Gerry Bravi

(Canada)

(1,0,4) = 7 pts

 

  

early morning

tens of spider webs

form an iridescent path

 

Doris

(1,0,4) = 7 pts

 

 

garden path

a wild rabbit nibbles

between hops

 

Katrina Shepherd

(0,2,3) = 7 pts

**This made me smile -- the last line is just right!

 

muddy path --

my footprints join

many others

 

~ Sammy Musili

(Kenya)

(0,2,3) = 7 pts

 

 

an overgrown path

that used to be a shortcut

back home

 

Bill Kenney

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

 

 

grandpa’s cabin

the path to the outhouse

almost a ditch

 

--Kirsty Karkow

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

 

 

garden path-

how I go from flower

to flower

 

Dawn Apanius 

USA

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

 

 

late summer night -

moonlit path across the sea

beckons me home

 

Natalia Kuznetsova

Russia

(0,0,7) = 7 pts

 

 

fireflies

lighting the worn path

to her grave

 

Kaiser Kahn

(0,0,7) = 7 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

6 Points 

----------------------------------

 

the sun sways itself into the dusk a bullock cart

 

Jayashree Maniyil

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

 

 

shower'send—thepa tchesof foga longthe pathtothemea dow

 

Rafał Zabratyński

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

**An interesting approach to the theme. I would offer the suggestion of placing the final space so: ‘Pathtotheme adow’; see the word theme, the reference to self, and the allusion to ‘adieu’?

**i actually like the impact of the broken structure

**Superb! I hope to see more refreshing takes like this in future kukai!

 

scented path --

the start 

of a breeze

 

James Dobson

Prudhoe, UK.

(0,0,6) = 6 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

5 Points 

----------------------------------

 

path to my dogs' graves mulch deep with memory

 

Donna Bauerly

Dubuque, IA

(1,0,2) = 5 pts

**I enjoyed reading and re-reading this poem. What a beautiful, emotional, unexpected phrase: “mulch deep with memory.” The phrase is soft sounding, expressing every nuance of tenderness. “[P]ath to my dogs’ graves” sounds like perhaps the path isn’t easy, and this isn’t just a literal path, but also a metaphorical path of the mind and heart – one that leads into the memories and into the feelings. And I feel the coolness and darkness of the mulch – that cold feeling of loss. This haiku works very well as a monostitch, visually leading readers along the path as well. Very touching moment. The emotion is so palpable. Simply beautiful! Love it!!!

 

A gust of wind

down the garden path… 

scent of lime blossoms

 

Keith A. Simmonds

Rodez, France

(1,0,2) = 5 pts

 

 

middle of night

light on my pillow

moon passing by

 

jill

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

 

 

4AM

under my pillow

the path not taken

 

Roberta Beary

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

 

 

"Footpath"

a new sign

beside the old pub

 

helge t.

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

 

 

longing... 

above the path

Orion

 

Ana Drobot

Bucharest, Romania

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

**So few words; so much meaning!

**Ah, that longing we all experience and as the expression goes: longing for the stars. And there above the path is Orion (visible throughout the world) – the hunter – trying to find what is being longed after, in this case perhaps love, but it could be anything, physical, emotional, intellectual.

 

path

alone 

now

 

oga

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

 

 

torrential rain

my path

now a river

 

mike warner

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

 

 

sunflower hulls

the invisible path

from feeder to branch

 

Barbara Snow

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

 

 

a path through algae leading to a turtle

 

Alan S. Bridges

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

 

 

end

of the path

alone

 

Paul Hodder

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

 

 

narrow path --

dew from the grass

wets my shoes

 

~ AUGUST MUTETI

(KENYA)

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

 

 

lone path --

a neat line of ants

across it

 

~ James Bundi

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

4 Points 

----------------------------------

 

on Hiroshiges 

bridge i meet the august night

fish in the water

 

janisor

(0,2,0) = 4 pts

 

 

yellow birch leaves

abruptly on the path

a red fox

 

Ignatius Fay

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

**Would have been a strong haiku by replacing “abruptly” with an active verb. Love the contrast of the yellow fall leaves with the red fox.

 

a jogger

pauses on the path –

peony in bloom

 

Tomislav

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

**I like the “stop to smell the roses” in this haiku, but instead it’s peonies, more precious because they only bloom with help from the ants. I also like the idea of the speaker noticing what someone else is noticing.

 

rail trail

cyclists break the silence

with their bells

 

--Diane Mayr

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

 

 

path sounds

cowbells

at dusk

 

Jon Espen Vassbotn

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

 

 

walking the dry creek

I follow deer prints into

the darkening woods

 

Penny Harter

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

 

 

lonely temple path-

only the wind blowing around

and around

 

Vidya S Venkatramani

INDIA

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

 

 

following the orchard path

the deer

following me

 

Chandra Bales

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

 

 

community garden

vegetables advance

down the right-of-way

 

Harvey Jenkins

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

 

 

water logged street-

we wade through stars

all the way home

 

Arvinder Kaur

Chandigarh, india

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

 

 

narrow path --

a snake slithers

into the bush

 

~ RODAH KALOKI

(KENYA)

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

 

 

muddy path --

I step on round footsteps

of a donkey

 

~ ANGELA MUTANU

(KENYA)

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

3 Points 

----------------------------------

 

the trail's sharp turn up fireweed

 

polona

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

 

 

lost my haiku nerve where the path forked between the rattlesnake’s tongue

 

kw

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

**Enjoyed the humor in this haiku! And what a great image of the rattlesnake’s forked tongue!

 

early morning hike

a wild deer crosses

my usual path

 

Billy Antonio

Laoac,Pangasinan, Philippines

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

 

 

perseid shower…

the path i follow

to nothing

 

Ted van Zutphen

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

 

 

the haijin's

last ginkgo...

hospice care

 

S.E. Buffington

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

 

 

at the junction

a signpost reads:

"both ways"

 

B

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

 

 

new moon path 

knowing this mountain

that's grown me

 

Sandi Pray

USA

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

 

 

no path

on the white rocks

- peggy's cove

 

- ru, canada

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

^^At Peggy's Cove, Nova Scotia you are free to wander the rocks on the shore at will, but the black rocks are those where the sea can at any time come up and sweep you away. All the warnings instruct people to stay off the black rocks. And every year, every day even, people fail to heed those warnings, at their peril.

 

old path;

flake by flake fills

the empty cup

 

manoj saranathan

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

2  Points 

----------------------------------

 

narrowly passing

through whittled outlines...

i channel a path

 

Pat Geyer

(0,1,0) = 2 pts

 

 

path to the tea house –

skipping one stone at a time

a brown singing frog

 

Daniela Bullas

(0,1,0) = 2 pts

 

 

sailing cruise

to lie at anchor

near the milky way

 

(Ramona)

(0,1,0) = 2 pts

 

 

From the shore

her breath sails the path

to the moon.

 

R. Joyce Heon

(0,1,0) = 2 pts

 

 

Nairobi park --

a gazelle runs along

a narrow path

 

~ DORAH SHAKO

(KENYA)

(0,1,0) = 2 pts

 

 

windstorm --

a path fills

with dust

 

~ LILIAN MUSENYA (KENYA)

(0,1,0) = 2 pts

 

 

milky way

the sudden urge

for basketballshoes

 

hawktalk

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

 

 

acacias bloom

on my path he loves me

he loves me not

 

Dorota Ocińska

Karin

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

 

 

autumn breeze -

dragging my feet

along the sandy path

 

-Priscilla Cook

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

 

 

straight path

of the sharpened pencil

l_________ss

 

Boris Nazansky

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

 

 

raindrops

on the glass –

paths of gravity

 

Anonymous

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

 

 

the highway's dream:

to wake

as a path

 

Oddbjørn Aardalen

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

 

 

mindscape. . .

the freeway

unspooling

 

Samar Ghose

Australia

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

 

 

steps uphill --

I follow

an unheard melody

 

Kumarendra Mallick

Hyderabad India

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

 

 

narrow path

from road to house on the hill

I ran this last bit

 

assu

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

 

 ----------------------------------

1 Points

----------------------------------

 

an old path 

walking in peace

one direction

 

Michael McClintock

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

 

 

the path getting darker

until it split into two byroads:

mine and yours

 

Lavana Kray - Romania

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

 

 

long path -

sun. and moon

share the sky

 

Israel Lopez Balan

Mexico City, Mexico

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

 

 

I follow this path

dutifully, and dutifully

Spot doesn’t

 

Anne Zooey Lind

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

**Yes, so true of our dogs. Enjoyed the light touch of humor in this haiku.

 

a moose

runs across our path

June gust

 

Cyndi Lloyd

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

 

 

any path is good --

what counts for our dog

is the walk

 

~ Isabelle Prondzynski (Ireland)

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

**Yes, so true. It doesn’t matter which direction. It’s the walk and being in the moment. And how well our animals serve as reminders to live in the present. I enjoyed this haiku.

 

garden path

dogged at every step

by the moon

 

Gautam Nadkarni

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

 

 

dusty path --

using a handkerchief

I wipe my shoes

 

~ AGNETA AROMO

(KENYA)

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

 

 

dusty path --

my black shoes

turn brown

 

~ ANGELA MWENDE

(KENYA)

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

 

 

horse-drawn wagon

we follow it around

a garden of graves

 

-Deborah P Kolodji

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

 

 

“Love’s labour’s lost” -

a narrow path among

old memories

 

Virginia Popescu 

PHOENIX

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

 

 

dragging suitcases-

my childhood's secret path

only summer weeds...

 

Cristian Mocanu

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

 

 

unknown path-

flight of his pet bird

guiding her

 

Munia Khan

Dhaka, Bangladesh

(0,0,1) = 1 pts

 

--------------------------------------

No Points This Time, Sorry. 

--------------------------------------- 

 

Empty silent butte.

The lone ranger rides along

looking for his fay. 

 

Horst Ludwig

 

 

the path

to enlightment

is in one's mind

 

Tom Conally

Gibsonville, NC

  

 

an unwilling bye 

grasses on both sides interlock

on my return path

 

Ajaya Mahala,

Pune, India

 

  

tangled tree roots

conspire to trip me

on the path that leads to you

 

Anonymous

 

  

canyon hike

mom reminds me again

to take Nellie's fork

 

Edward

 

  

evening path 

covered by 

dots of starlight

 

Barbara Campitell

 

  

edged by the path

scent of the for-get-me-not's

leads the way

 

Bill Hudson

  

 

shadows--

stalking my heart

in a back alley

 

Alegria Imperial

 

  

chilly wind

slithers on the neighbourhood lane

a noodle vendor

 

Ken Sawitri

(Jakarta Indonesia)

  

 

skyline —

the path begins from

full moon

 

Kanavu Nila

Bangalore, India

 

  

temple path

no spider lilies, but

wild boar footprints

 

Yukiko Yamada

 

  

cutting through...

swallowed by the jungle

the trail behind

 

Dejan Pavlinović

Pula, Croatia

  

 

this morning

walking into sunshine - 

 

the prison's gate closes.

 

dsnake1

 

 

 Job losses , 

thick forest, rocky ground, compass set -

new muscles formed

 

Phil Mizener

 

  

path not taken

phrase reverberates in me

where else but forward?

 

Deirdre Godwin

 

  

Follow the right path

and you won't be

Left

 

Paul Cassidy

 

  

wide path --

at the farthest end

it seems narrow

 

~ SAMUEL NZUVE

(KENYA)

 

  

the sound of cicadas

on the path

as the new moon sets

 

Jone Rush MacCulloch 

Portland, Oregon

 

  

I accidentally step

into fresh cow dung --

farm path

 

~ Marcy Mukosia

(Kenya)

 

  

fireflies floating

highway to Milky Way

begins here

 

Anonymous

 

  

got lost? 

the path not returning 

from an old forest

 

Juhani Tikkanen

 

 

 screams from the path -

slithery snail

...her bare feet

 

John McDonald

Edinburgh Scotland

 

  

A sea shore -

the path of the snail cut short

where a hungry gull lands.

 

Anonymous

 

 

 the birder explains flight paths

in a way

I've never thought

 

--Peter Newton

 

  

on this path

the dark the city 

sleeps to hide

 

Hansha

 

  

sun in the clouds –

in the middle of the path

a chicory

 

Miorita

 

  

geometric ice designs

top path's

muddy puddles

 

Jane DeJonghe

 

 

 

You carry our feet,

Baggage of hopes, dreams, deeds—

We are your guests...

 

James Thoune

Bowling Green, KY USA

 

 

 

Milky Way-

our path only upto

the grave

 

--- Kashinath Karmakar

India

 

 

 

bike trail with friend . . .

peaceful exercise, seemingly effortless

70 kilometers today

 

eric p.

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

General Comments:

**This seemed to be a banner month, particularly in the Free Format section. Made me wish I had more votes to share!

 

**Hard to choose all so good.

 

**Wow, it was really difficult this time choosing which haiku to award points to. What a great moment each of these poems shared with me.

 

**Unusually, for me, I found myself drawn to those that gave the theme a metaphorical spin.

 

**Enjoyed reading the so many good haiku on this edition. Really tough to give out the points.

 

**Some really great haiku in this batch.

 

**"Two roads (actually, six) diverged...." And could have been many more! Great entries. Again, many thanks to all of you who help us "judge."

 

**I'll be interested to see how many of the "path" entries point forward and how many (like mine) look back.

 

**Our students are very familiar with paths, using them every day!

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Thank you for participating in the August 2015 Kukai!

 

With much appreciation,

 

The Shiki Monthly Kukai Team