Fourth Annual Poets' Choice Kukai
Kigo from Year 4
First Place -- 29 pts
quiet evening
the weight of snow
before the snow
j. blain
(4,3,11) = 29 pts
Comments:
I’ve never seen snow in my life as yet but I could “feel’ this haiku from within. Its like a human emotion – we feel its weight weighing us from within much before we give expression to it by action?! Good work!
A numinous moment perfectly expressed! A favorite experience, difficult to describe, the anticipation felt before a snowfall does feel like a physical weight, perhaps enhanced by windless humidity or other atmospheric conditions. The repetition of the word 'snow' emphasizes the anticipation. And the possibility of the unstated pun with 'wait' is delicious.
Does a great job of capturing a mood and feeling.
Second Place -- 27 pts
falling apple --
the branch sweeps into
a new balance
max verhart
(3,4,10) = 27 pts
Comments:
This is really an exceptional haiku. The kigo word is well used as seasonal. L2 & L3 are like an illustration but fresh and sensory. I have never read anything like it before.
Just beautiful- shows how accommodating nature is. Humans have much to learn from nature.
I hear the swish and the thump. I catch my breath, regain my balance.
summer's end
the pale circle
on the ring finger
RaV
(3,3,12) = 27 pts
Third Place -- 25 pts
early thaw--
the earth tugging
at my footsteps
Bill Kenney
(2,3,13) = 25 pts
Fourth Place -- 24 pts
summer's end--
the swimming hole
fills with stars
aom (tim)
(1,6,9) = 24 pts
Comments:
A beautifully clear image that really puts you right there!
Vivid and poignant, lovely!
There is a lovely juxtaposition in 'summer's end'. The contrast between what was once a swimming hole sparkling with children, to one that now sparkles with stars does indeed show the end of summer.
Fifth Place -- 23 pts
out of the haze
the dog brings back
the wrong stick
max verhart
(3,3,8) = 23 pts
Comments:
It was that last line that got me! Also this haiku is full of immediacy and I see the scene unfold in front of me as if it happened today.
I can 'see' this one.
Sixth Place -- 20 pts
humid night
only the cat's tail stirs
the curtains
Warren Gossett
(3,2,7) = 20 pts
Comment:
A lovely surprise in the 3rd line -- and a clear picture in my mind.
Seventh Place -- 19 pts
February wind
wanting to believe
the crocus
Bill Kenney
(2,3,7) = 19 pts
Comments:
I love the longing in this haiku. The skillful juxtaposition of the kigo, February wind, to the almost superstitious reluctance to accept the message of the crocus, deepens the loneliness found in this haiku. The smallness of the verse, just 7 words, works for it as well. Winter weariness has taken all but the most necessary words. My favorite haiku of the year.
Eighth Place -- 18 pts
rotting crab apples
two old women bicker
over this and that
Kathy Lippard Cobb
(2,3,6) = 18 pts
Ninth Place -- 17 pts
shooting stars--
we flick our ashes
into snow
Earl Keener
(3,2,4) = 17 pts
midwinter--
the empty bird nest
full of snow
Audrey Downey
(1,4,6) = 17 pts
Comments:
A graphic illustration of the kigo word.
A memorable image of seasonal change.
humid night
the ice cream vendor
pulls back her hair
Tom Painting
(1,5,4) = 17 pts
Comment:
The immediacy of that last night combined with 'humid night' and 'the ice cream vendor' makes me see the scene materialize in front of me.
Tenth Place -- 16 pts
long day--
she washes tomorrow's rice
in the dark
Scott Metz
(1,6,1) = 16 pts
Comments:
The act of washing/preparing tomorrow's food in the night of the previous day is so evocative, and paired with the 'long day' is quietly marvelous.
An exquisite poem which says so much with so few words....
Eleventh Place -- 15 pts
your coat
on my shoulders--
summer's end
Ana Cadarin
(3,0,6) = 15 pts
long day
the dog's chain wrapped
around the tree
Earl Keener
(1,1,10) = 15 pts
Twelfth Place -- 14 pts
autumn wind--
the teapot begins
to whistle
Darrell Byrd
(1,2,7) = 14 pts
Comment:
The chill in the air, the need for warmth, the sound and movement of wind and steam... This simple juxtaposition conveys the rich interconnectedness of ordinary daily experience.
Autumn wind, leaves room for the reader to insert his or her own experiences to this sensory moment. There is the coolness of autumn with the sound and warmth of steam from a kettle.
humid night -
the old dog runs
in his sleep
sheila windsor
(1,2,7) = 14 pts
Comments:
This haiku is immediately familiar. Living in Florida, I know the weight of the air on a humid night; how it clings and saps the strength right out of you. The old dog lying on the floor has succumbed to the heat. He only has enough energy to chase who-knows-what in his dreams; while the haijin, unable to sleep, is left to sweat and to watch his pet's twitching paws.
My dog does this every night...Wish it against a hollow door :(
Thirteenth Place -- 13 pts
early thaw--
walking the long way home
to hear the brook
angelee deodhar
(1,1,8) = 13 pts
Fourteenth Place -- 11 pts
snowy night
a passing train tunnels
into silence
Laryalee Fraser
(1,0,9) = 12 pts
Comment:
This is a very haunting image that contrasts hard and soft images and feelings
goat path
the wild violets nibbled
by shadows
Darrell Lindsey
(0,4,4) = 12 pts
Comments:
In 'goat path', I loved the surprise of shadows creeping up on the wild violets, after being introduced with a setting that suggests 'goats'.
This is my favorite....what wonderful color, vivid images, it made me smile completely. Delightful all together!
midwinter--
undoing an old sweater
to knit a new one
max verhart
(0,3,6) = 12 pts
Fifteenth Place -- 11 pts
mother-in-law
he adjusts the sprinkler
for the fourth time
Laryalee Fraser
(2,1,3) = 11 pts
midwinter
the wood pile
half gone
Linda Chambers
(1,1,6) = 11 pts
Comments:
L1 and L3 enhance each other, creating the clear mood of transience in the ku. The wood pile is like "the winter clock", which measures time with logs and spills rather than hours and seconds. A charming image!
This is the poem I most wish I had written.
early thaw
the hedge alive
with twitter
oga
(0,1,9) = 11 pts
rooftop garden
she collects the rain
in saucepans
Tom Painting
(0,0,11) = 11 pts
Comment:
A fresh and vivid way of appreciating the kigo through it's effect on a walker.
Sixteenth Place -- 10 pts
bordering
the road not taken
wildflowers
Tom Painting
(1,2,3) = 10 pts
Seventeenth Place -- 9 pts
autumn wind--
the cemetery fringed
with thistles
Andrew Riutta
(0,3,3) = 9 pts
Eighteenth Place -- 8 pts
marsh marigolds--
a turtle going
somewhere
Ami
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
Comment:
Marsh marigolds are low growing wetland wildflowers, just dense enough to conceal a turtle, while at the same time revealing its passage by their movement. I love the ambiguity of "somewhere", which could refer to the inexactness of both the turtle's destination as well as its present location. This is a keen observation of nature, written with spare elegance to convey an immediate experience of an unseen creature, inspiring a sense of wonder.
Nineteenth Place -- 7 pts
morning haze-
a woodpecker drums
for the rising sun
Audrey Downey
(2,0,1) = 7 pts
Comment:
I enjoy the picture depicted by this kukai. First line connects one with the past & a blurry day: "morning haze" The second line with the present & coming back to one's senses: "woodpecker drums". We can hear it! From the woodpecker's point of view it may be just a way to get its own breakfast, but for the Observer it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, where the beats announce the ''rising sun"... Therefore, the third line is about future & clarity: in the sky and in one's mind.
It's a wonderful poem which takes you not just traveling in time, but also has you enjoying the ride!
September sunset...
a taste
of the apple's bruise
Collin Barber
(1,1,2) = 7 pts
Twentieth Place -- 5 pts
urban jungle. . .
wildflowers thrive
among the graffiti
Kathy Lippard Cobb
(1,1,0) = 5 pts
daylight savings
poppies still open
after supper
Mark Hollingsworth
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
long day -
grandma takes
a second nap
Zhanna P. Rader
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
Twenty-first Place -- 4 pts
high tea...
a broken sprinkler
waters the sun
Kathy Lippard Cobb
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
Comment:
Good use of kigo- High tea sets a specific time and has a social meaning too; a very good way to place the broken sprinkler in the world. The visuals of sparkling water are vivid as is the juxtaposition of the water and tea. So much is implied by the combination of the ineffective watering, and the ritual of high tea. I enjoyed mulling this one over (no pun intended).
Twenty-second Place -- 2 pts
drought restrictions
a bowl of dishwater
for her begonias
--ushi
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
autumn wind
in the neighbor's yard
my maple leaves
Jean Jackson
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
Lent ...
the judas tree
a haze of red
Nancy Smith
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
Kigo Section General Comments:
This was so difficult; there were so many wonderful haiku to choose from. I wish I had more points to hand out!
"I have become more satisfied lately with haiku that suggest as well as show the image, leaving something for the reader to discover. Of the haiku I chose, 'summer's end', 'goat's path' and 'autumn wind', all three offered a certain mood that resonates in the mind."
Free Format from Year 4
First Place -- 40 pts
morning sun-
the long shadows
of little stones
Israel López Balan
(1,9,19) = 40 pts
Comments:
On the concrete level this paints of day's beginning. On the metaphorical one is minded of coming out of sleep (or a long night without) where dream or imaged fears are made small by daylight, even while the emotion of them made large remains.
The capturing of a beautifully moment!
Atmosphere, loneliness, power, hope, serenity...so much in little stones.
Love this! And so we wake to something small looking bigger than it is, perhaps reminding us of something about ourselves. A bit of ambiguity here, but a very clear haiku image.
Second Place -- 30 pts
her first date
at each window
a family member
miriam chaikin
(3,5,11) = 30 pts
Comment:
Dating in India is generally done on a sly – so this haiku amuses me!!
Third Place -- 25 pts
midnight moon
the coldness
of a stone bench
Laryalee Fraser
(3,2,12) = 25 pts
Comments:
This distant moon and cold stone – translates into myriad feelings of frustration – loneliness. Well expressed!
The coldness in this one drove right into my bones.
The fragment sets the uneasy mood of the ku. The phrase multiplies the ambience by the overwhelming feeling of loneliness. A sharp observation!
Elegant in its simplicity-- the juxtaposition of gray is effective- not to mention another moon juxtaposition implied by sitting. Just kidding. The mind soars with this one.
Fourth Place -- 21 pts
yellowed letters--
a rubber band still keeps
the friendship together
max verhart
(2,2,11) = 21 pts
Comment:
I really liked this, but would have been happy for 'still' to be dropped as I get more resonance without it: a case of less is more. But a common experience shared by all those who store correspondence.
cloudy night
I make a wish
anyway
RaV
(2,3,9) = 21 pts
Fifth Place -- 20 pts
another first date...
I fail again
to be myself
Collin Barber
(4,0,8) = 20 pts
temple gate--
a blind beggar's pail fills
with blossoms
Kala Ramesh
(1,4,9) = 20 pts
Comment:
A beautiful melding of nature and imagery.
Sixth Place -- 19 pts
day's end
a bunch of daisies
in his bait pail
Tom Painting
(2,2,9) = 19 pts
campfire chili
a loon's call stirs
the darkness
Laryalee Fraser
(0,6,7) = 19 pts
Comment: This one......so evocative, absolutely wonderful.
Seventh Place -- 18 pts
sand pail. . .
the toddler scoops the sea
with a teaspoon
Kathy Lippard Cobb
(0,3,12) = 18 pts
Comments:
For me this one is bittersweet. I see in intentness of a toddler who has tackled an impossible job. It also reminds me of the death of my son who suffered from bipolar and alcoholism (a sort of drowning).
I love the wild lunatic feeling of this.
Eighth Place -- 17 pts
farmer's market --
the sour old woman
selling honey
--Irene Golas
(1,5,4) = 17 pts
Comment:
Very clever juxtaposition of sweet and sour.
Ninth Place -- 16 pts
not noticing
the tiny flowers on the rock
until the butterfly
Tom Maretic
(0,4,8) = 16 pts
Comment:
Love the surprise element – and I’ve a weakness for butterflies!!
Tenth Place -- 13 pts
home...
I forget the pebble
in my shoe
citygirl
(2,1,5) = 13 pts
Eleventh Place --12 pts
winter sky -
a bleached turtle shell
full of leaves
Chris Eichenberger
(1,2,5) = 12 pts
monsoon ...
rising from the mud
a buffalo's horns
Ella Wagemakers
(1,1,7) = 12 pts
Comment:
India is a land of buffaloes and cows. I’ve seen this scene many times over!
full moon
she answers the door
in a mud mask
Marie Summers
(0,2,8) = 12 pts
Comments:
I just find this very funny! It brings to mind a few old movies that used this as a sight gag.
Wonderful way to explore frustration!
Twelfth Place -- 11 pts
sunlight...
a wasp taps
at the window
Darrell Byrd
(1,3,2) = 11 pts
breaking wave
winter sunlight curls
into itself
martin
(1,3,2) = 11 pts
swollen stream--
my friend talks about
the cancer
gary steinberg
(1,3,2) = 11 pts
Comments:
A very strong haiku, and probably a lot of people won't vote for this, but it deserves to be counted. It's very difficult to read emotionally, even for me, who has never had a close friend suffer from cancer.
A quietly brave haiku.
The juxtaposition here is very deep, as a stream is deep, so is this moment a friend unburdens themselves with their fears. There is a sense of 'spilling' here for both stream and friend that I find very poignant.
Thirteenth Place -- 10 pts
beach date
how softly she breathes...
the milky way
Keiko
(1,2,3) = 10 pts
Comments:
I can visualize her complete happiness and oneness with life.
I truly loved this one...I just found such beauty in it.
old calendar
my birthday marked
by my ex-wife
Petar Tchouhov
(0,4,2) = 10 pts
Comment:
Very funny, and moving, all in one.
Fourteenth Place -- 9 pts
old turtle
lagging behind
its shadow
Petar Tchouhov
(1,2,2) = 9 pts
Comment:
This would be perfect for me if “old” was removed (all turtles look old - it makes me wonder how the author knows it‘s an old turtle- bringing attention to the author and away from the scene). This is so good though-- so much meaning and feeling can be derived from a turtle with the sun behind its back endlessly following its shadow (including age ;), and your wording couldn’t have shown it better. It sets a vivid scene and is meaningful on many levels. Well Done!
between bait bucket
and fisherman
the egret's long neck
doris kasson
(0,1,7) = 9 pts
cold morning
two stray cats
in the doghouse
Petar Tchouhov
(0,3,3) = 9 pts
Fifteenth Place -- 8 pts
daddy's knees
jolt the table
--mud pies and tea
doris kasson
(1,1,3) = 8 pts
show and tell--
his box turtle
won't come out
aom(tim)
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
Comment:
A very touching moment contrasting the macro and the mini.
icy windshield
a Santa scrapes off
the parking ticket
Dave
(0,1,6) = 8 pts
Sixteenth Place -- 7 pts
friendship quilt--
soft voices circle
above the squares
Laryalee Fraser
(1,0,4) = 7 pts
doorbell
she opens
the window
Grainne
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
Seventeenth Place -- 6 pts
morning walk-
with each step her shadow
overlaps mine
Marie Summers
(0,2,2) = 6 pts
Eighteenth Place -- 5 pts
custody battle
two magpies squabble
over a french fry
Warren Gossett
(0,2*,1) = 5 pts
Nineteenth Place -- 4 pts
first date
the belly rumble
breaks the silence
RaV
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
Twentieth Place -- 3 pts
fading sunlight--
he takes off
his wedding ring
Laryalee Fraser
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
blue berries --
my children compare their tongues
in the mirror
Zhanna P. Rader
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
late date...
only the sound
of the old wooden clock
Karen Cesar
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
Comment:
The tick of the clock creates tension in this haiku. Is someone waiting up for someone? Or, maybe it's a comforting rhythmic sound that puts one to sleep. I like not knowing what's really going on here. It's simply a moment filled with the ticking of an old clock. The words "late date", takes my mind for a spin down memory lane. And just as I was 'uncertain' then, I am uncertain here. I like a haiku that makes me feel something without requiring a detailed translation.
mexican village
the old woman sips soup
from a turtle shell
Denise Lizarraga
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
Comment:
This one is so full of concrete imagery it paints a picture far more vivid than its few words.
Twenty-first Place -- 2 or less points
egret in flight--
she forgets
her muddy shoe
Karen Cesar
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
first date--
porch light interrupts
the goodnight kiss
Tristan Coleridge
(0,0,1) = 1 pt
on the last page
of the calendar, a cat
looking back
Keiko Izawa
(0,0,1) = 1 pt
Free Format General Comment:
It seems like such a shame to give only one point to each of these fine haiku. All of these are really the cream of the crop.