4th Annual Poet's Choice Kukai 2006

Kigo from Year 4

First Place -- 29 pts

quiet evening

the weight of snow

before the snow

j. blain

(4,3,11) = 29 pts

Comments:

I’ve never seen snow in my life as yet but I could “feel’ this haiku from within. Its like a human emotion – we feel its weight weighing us from within much before we give expression to it by action?! Good work!

A numinous moment perfectly expressed! A favorite experience, difficult to describe, the anticipation felt before a snowfall does feel like a physical weight, perhaps enhanced by windless humidity or other atmospheric conditions. The repetition of the word 'snow' emphasizes the anticipation. And the possibility of the unstated pun with 'wait' is delicious.

Does a great job of capturing a mood and feeling.

Second Place -- 27 pts

falling apple --

the branch sweeps into

a new balance

max verhart

(3,4,10) = 27 pts

Comments:

This is really an exceptional haiku. The kigo word is well used as seasonal. L2 & L3 are like an illustration but fresh and sensory. I have never read anything like it before.

Just beautiful- shows how accommodating nature is. Humans have much to learn from nature.

I hear the swish and the thump. I catch my breath, regain my balance.

summer's end

the pale circle

on the ring finger

RaV

(3,3,12) = 27 pts

Third Place -- 25 pts

early thaw--

the earth tugging

at my footsteps

Bill Kenney

(2,3,13) = 25 pts

Fourth Place -- 24 pts

summer's end--

the swimming hole

fills with stars

aom (tim)

(1,6,9) = 24 pts

Comments:

A beautifully clear image that really puts you right there!

Vivid and poignant, lovely!

There is a lovely juxtaposition in 'summer's end'. The contrast between what was once a swimming hole sparkling with children, to one that now sparkles with stars does indeed show the end of summer.

Fifth Place -- 23 pts

out of the haze

the dog brings back

the wrong stick

max verhart

(3,3,8) = 23 pts

Comments:

It was that last line that got me! Also this haiku is full of immediacy and I see the scene unfold in front of me as if it happened today.

I can 'see' this one.

Sixth Place -- 20 pts

humid night

only the cat's tail stirs

the curtains

Warren Gossett

(3,2,7) = 20 pts

Comment:

A lovely surprise in the 3rd line -- and a clear picture in my mind.

Seventh Place -- 19 pts

February wind

wanting to believe

the crocus

Bill Kenney

(2,3,7) = 19 pts

Comments:

I love the longing in this haiku. The skillful juxtaposition of the kigo, February wind, to the almost superstitious reluctance to accept the message of the crocus, deepens the loneliness found in this haiku. The smallness of the verse, just 7 words, works for it as well. Winter weariness has taken all but the most necessary words. My favorite haiku of the year.

Eighth Place -- 18 pts

rotting crab apples

two old women bicker

over this and that

Kathy Lippard Cobb

(2,3,6) = 18 pts

Ninth Place -- 17 pts

shooting stars--

we flick our ashes

into snow

Earl Keener

(3,2,4) = 17 pts

midwinter--

the empty bird nest

full of snow

Audrey Downey

(1,4,6) = 17 pts

Comments:

A graphic illustration of the kigo word.

A memorable image of seasonal change.

humid night

the ice cream vendor

pulls back her hair

Tom Painting

(1,5,4) = 17 pts

Comment:

The immediacy of that last night combined with 'humid night' and 'the ice cream vendor' makes me see the scene materialize in front of me.

Tenth Place -- 16 pts

long day--

she washes tomorrow's rice

in the dark

Scott Metz

(1,6,1) = 16 pts

Comments:

The act of washing/preparing tomorrow's food in the night of the previous day is so evocative, and paired with the 'long day' is quietly marvelous.

An exquisite poem which says so much with so few words....

Eleventh Place -- 15 pts

your coat

on my shoulders--

summer's end

Ana Cadarin

(3,0,6) = 15 pts

long day

the dog's chain wrapped

around the tree

Earl Keener

(1,1,10) = 15 pts

Twelfth Place -- 14 pts

autumn wind--

the teapot begins

to whistle

Darrell Byrd

(1,2,7) = 14 pts

Comment:

The chill in the air, the need for warmth, the sound and movement of wind and steam... This simple juxtaposition conveys the rich interconnectedness of ordinary daily experience.

Autumn wind, leaves room for the reader to insert his or her own experiences to this sensory moment. There is the coolness of autumn with the sound and warmth of steam from a kettle.

humid night -

the old dog runs

in his sleep

sheila windsor

(1,2,7) = 14 pts

Comments:

This haiku is immediately familiar. Living in Florida, I know the weight of the air on a humid night; how it clings and saps the strength right out of you. The old dog lying on the floor has succumbed to the heat. He only has enough energy to chase who-knows-what in his dreams; while the haijin, unable to sleep, is left to sweat and to watch his pet's twitching paws.

My dog does this every night...Wish it against a hollow door :(

Thirteenth Place -- 13 pts

early thaw--

walking the long way home

to hear the brook

angelee deodhar

(1,1,8) = 13 pts

Fourteenth Place -- 11 pts

snowy night

a passing train tunnels

into silence

Laryalee Fraser

(1,0,9) = 12 pts

Comment:

This is a very haunting image that contrasts hard and soft images and feelings

goat path

the wild violets nibbled

by shadows

Darrell Lindsey

(0,4,4) = 12 pts

Comments:

In 'goat path', I loved the surprise of shadows creeping up on the wild violets, after being introduced with a setting that suggests 'goats'.

This is my favorite....what wonderful color, vivid images, it made me smile completely. Delightful all together!

midwinter--

undoing an old sweater

to knit a new one

max verhart

(0,3,6) = 12 pts

Fifteenth Place -- 11 pts

mother-in-law

he adjusts the sprinkler

for the fourth time

Laryalee Fraser

(2,1,3) = 11 pts

midwinter

the wood pile

half gone

Linda Chambers

(1,1,6) = 11 pts

Comments:

L1 and L3 enhance each other, creating the clear mood of transience in the ku. The wood pile is like "the winter clock", which measures time with logs and spills rather than hours and seconds. A charming image!

This is the poem I most wish I had written.

early thaw

the hedge alive

with twitter

oga

(0,1,9) = 11 pts

rooftop garden

she collects the rain

in saucepans

Tom Painting

(0,0,11) = 11 pts

Comment:

A fresh and vivid way of appreciating the kigo through it's effect on a walker.

Sixteenth Place -- 10 pts

bordering

the road not taken

wildflowers

Tom Painting

(1,2,3) = 10 pts

Seventeenth Place -- 9 pts

autumn wind--

the cemetery fringed

with thistles

Andrew Riutta

(0,3,3) = 9 pts

Eighteenth Place -- 8 pts

marsh marigolds--

a turtle going

somewhere

Ami

(0,2,4) = 8 pts

Comment:

Marsh marigolds are low growing wetland wildflowers, just dense enough to conceal a turtle, while at the same time revealing its passage by their movement. I love the ambiguity of "somewhere", which could refer to the inexactness of both the turtle's destination as well as its present location. This is a keen observation of nature, written with spare elegance to convey an immediate experience of an unseen creature, inspiring a sense of wonder.

Nineteenth Place -- 7 pts

morning haze-

a woodpecker drums

for the rising sun

Audrey Downey

(2,0,1) = 7 pts

Comment:

I enjoy the picture depicted by this kukai. First line connects one with the past & a blurry day: "morning haze" The second line with the present & coming back to one's senses: "woodpecker drums". We can hear it! From the woodpecker's point of view it may be just a way to get its own breakfast, but for the Observer it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, where the beats announce the ''rising sun"... Therefore, the third line is about future & clarity: in the sky and in one's mind.

It's a wonderful poem which takes you not just traveling in time, but also has you enjoying the ride!

September sunset...

a taste

of the apple's bruise

Collin Barber

(1,1,2) = 7 pts

Twentieth Place -- 5 pts

urban jungle. . .

wildflowers thrive

among the graffiti

Kathy Lippard Cobb

(1,1,0) = 5 pts

daylight savings

poppies still open

after supper

Mark Hollingsworth

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

long day -

grandma takes

a second nap

Zhanna P. Rader

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

Twenty-first Place -- 4 pts

high tea...

a broken sprinkler

waters the sun

Kathy Lippard Cobb

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

Comment:

Good use of kigo- High tea sets a specific time and has a social meaning too; a very good way to place the broken sprinkler in the world. The visuals of sparkling water are vivid as is the juxtaposition of the water and tea. So much is implied by the combination of the ineffective watering, and the ritual of high tea. I enjoyed mulling this one over (no pun intended).

Twenty-second Place -- 2 pts

drought restrictions

a bowl of dishwater

for her begonias

--ushi

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

autumn wind

in the neighbor's yard

my maple leaves

Jean Jackson

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

Lent ...

the judas tree

a haze of red

Nancy Smith

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

Kigo Section General Comments:

This was so difficult; there were so many wonderful haiku to choose from. I wish I had more points to hand out!

"I have become more satisfied lately with haiku that suggest as well as show the image, leaving something for the reader to discover. Of the haiku I chose, 'summer's end', 'goat's path' and 'autumn wind', all three offered a certain mood that resonates in the mind."

Free Format from Year 4

First Place -- 40 pts

morning sun-

the long shadows

of little stones

Israel López Balan

(1,9,19) = 40 pts

Comments:

On the concrete level this paints of day's beginning. On the metaphorical one is minded of coming out of sleep (or a long night without) where dream or imaged fears are made small by daylight, even while the emotion of them made large remains.

The capturing of a beautifully moment!

Atmosphere, loneliness, power, hope, serenity...so much in little stones.

Love this! And so we wake to something small looking bigger than it is, perhaps reminding us of something about ourselves. A bit of ambiguity here, but a very clear haiku image.

Second Place -- 30 pts

her first date

at each window

a family member

miriam chaikin

(3,5,11) = 30 pts

Comment:

Dating in India is generally done on a sly – so this haiku amuses me!!

Third Place -- 25 pts

midnight moon

the coldness

of a stone bench

Laryalee Fraser

(3,2,12) = 25 pts

Comments:

This distant moon and cold stone – translates into myriad feelings of frustration – loneliness. Well expressed!

The coldness in this one drove right into my bones.

The fragment sets the uneasy mood of the ku. The phrase multiplies the ambience by the overwhelming feeling of loneliness. A sharp observation!

Elegant in its simplicity-- the juxtaposition of gray is effective- not to mention another moon juxtaposition implied by sitting. Just kidding. The mind soars with this one.

Fourth Place -- 21 pts

yellowed letters--

a rubber band still keeps

the friendship together

max verhart

(2,2,11) = 21 pts

Comment:

I really liked this, but would have been happy for 'still' to be dropped as I get more resonance without it: a case of less is more. But a common experience shared by all those who store correspondence.

cloudy night

I make a wish

anyway

RaV

(2,3,9) = 21 pts

Fifth Place -- 20 pts

another first date...

I fail again

to be myself

Collin Barber

(4,0,8) = 20 pts

temple gate--

a blind beggar's pail fills

with blossoms

Kala Ramesh

(1,4,9) = 20 pts

Comment:

A beautiful melding of nature and imagery.

Sixth Place -- 19 pts

day's end

a bunch of daisies

in his bait pail

Tom Painting

(2,2,9) = 19 pts

campfire chili

a loon's call stirs

the darkness

Laryalee Fraser

(0,6,7) = 19 pts

Comment: This one......so evocative, absolutely wonderful.

Seventh Place -- 18 pts

sand pail. . .

the toddler scoops the sea

with a teaspoon

Kathy Lippard Cobb

(0,3,12) = 18 pts

Comments:

For me this one is bittersweet. I see in intentness of a toddler who has tackled an impossible job. It also reminds me of the death of my son who suffered from bipolar and alcoholism (a sort of drowning).

I love the wild lunatic feeling of this.

Eighth Place -- 17 pts

farmer's market --

the sour old woman

selling honey

--Irene Golas

(1,5,4) = 17 pts

Comment:

Very clever juxtaposition of sweet and sour.

Ninth Place -- 16 pts

not noticing

the tiny flowers on the rock

until the butterfly

Tom Maretic

(0,4,8) = 16 pts

Comment:

Love the surprise element – and I’ve a weakness for butterflies!!

Tenth Place -- 13 pts

home...

I forget the pebble

in my shoe

citygirl

(2,1,5) = 13 pts

Eleventh Place --12 pts

winter sky -

a bleached turtle shell

full of leaves

Chris Eichenberger

(1,2,5) = 12 pts

monsoon ...

rising from the mud

a buffalo's horns

Ella Wagemakers

(1,1,7) = 12 pts

Comment:

India is a land of buffaloes and cows. I’ve seen this scene many times over!

full moon

she answers the door

in a mud mask

Marie Summers

(0,2,8) = 12 pts

Comments:

I just find this very funny! It brings to mind a few old movies that used this as a sight gag.

Wonderful way to explore frustration!

Twelfth Place -- 11 pts

sunlight...

a wasp taps

at the window

Darrell Byrd

(1,3,2) = 11 pts

breaking wave

winter sunlight curls

into itself

martin

(1,3,2) = 11 pts

swollen stream--

my friend talks about

the cancer

gary steinberg

(1,3,2) = 11 pts

Comments:

A very strong haiku, and probably a lot of people won't vote for this, but it deserves to be counted. It's very difficult to read emotionally, even for me, who has never had a close friend suffer from cancer.

A quietly brave haiku.

The juxtaposition here is very deep, as a stream is deep, so is this moment a friend unburdens themselves with their fears. There is a sense of 'spilling' here for both stream and friend that I find very poignant.

Thirteenth Place -- 10 pts

beach date

how softly she breathes...

the milky way

Keiko

(1,2,3) = 10 pts

Comments:

I can visualize her complete happiness and oneness with life.

I truly loved this one...I just found such beauty in it.

old calendar

my birthday marked

by my ex-wife

Petar Tchouhov

(0,4,2) = 10 pts

Comment:

Very funny, and moving, all in one.

Fourteenth Place -- 9 pts

old turtle

lagging behind

its shadow

Petar Tchouhov

(1,2,2) = 9 pts

Comment:

This would be perfect for me if “old” was removed (all turtles look old - it makes me wonder how the author knows it‘s an old turtle- bringing attention to the author and away from the scene). This is so good though-- so much meaning and feeling can be derived from a turtle with the sun behind its back endlessly following its shadow (including age ;), and your wording couldn’t have shown it better. It sets a vivid scene and is meaningful on many levels. Well Done!

between bait bucket

and fisherman

the egret's long neck

doris kasson

(0,1,7) = 9 pts

cold morning

two stray cats

in the doghouse

Petar Tchouhov

(0,3,3) = 9 pts

Fifteenth Place -- 8 pts

daddy's knees

jolt the table

--mud pies and tea

doris kasson

(1,1,3) = 8 pts

show and tell--

his box turtle

won't come out

aom(tim)

(0,2,4) = 8 pts

Comment:

A very touching moment contrasting the macro and the mini.

icy windshield

a Santa scrapes off

the parking ticket

Dave

(0,1,6) = 8 pts

Sixteenth Place -- 7 pts

friendship quilt--

soft voices circle

above the squares

Laryalee Fraser

(1,0,4) = 7 pts

doorbell

she opens

the window

Grainne

(0,2,3) = 7 pts

Seventeenth Place -- 6 pts

morning walk-

with each step her shadow

overlaps mine

Marie Summers

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

Eighteenth Place -- 5 pts

custody battle

two magpies squabble

over a french fry

Warren Gossett

(0,2*,1) = 5 pts

Nineteenth Place -- 4 pts

first date

the belly rumble

breaks the silence

RaV

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

Twentieth Place -- 3 pts

fading sunlight--

he takes off

his wedding ring

Laryalee Fraser

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

blue berries --

my children compare their tongues

in the mirror

Zhanna P. Rader

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

late date...

only the sound

of the old wooden clock

Karen Cesar

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

Comment:

The tick of the clock creates tension in this haiku. Is someone waiting up for someone? Or, maybe it's a comforting rhythmic sound that puts one to sleep. I like not knowing what's really going on here. It's simply a moment filled with the ticking of an old clock. The words "late date", takes my mind for a spin down memory lane. And just as I was 'uncertain' then, I am uncertain here. I like a haiku that makes me feel something without requiring a detailed translation.

mexican village

the old woman sips soup

from a turtle shell

Denise Lizarraga

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

Comment:

This one is so full of concrete imagery it paints a picture far more vivid than its few words.

Twenty-first Place -- 2 or less points

egret in flight--

she forgets

her muddy shoe

Karen Cesar

(0,1,0) = 2 pts

first date--

porch light interrupts

the goodnight kiss

Tristan Coleridge

(0,0,1) = 1 pt

on the last page

of the calendar, a cat

looking back

Keiko Izawa

(0,0,1) = 1 pt

Free Format General Comment:

It seems like such a shame to give only one point to each of these fine haiku. All of these are really the cream of the crop.