July 2011 Kukai
Kigo Theme:
'Moth(s)'
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First Place - 23 Points
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moth balls —
the scent of childhood
from the woolens
Gautam Nadkarni
(0,4,15) = 23 pts
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Second Place - 21 Points
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Her illness
The moth so close
To the flame
Angelika Kolompar
(2,2,11) = 21 pts
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Third Place – 20 Points
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paper lantern
a moth's shadow dances
on the wall
---Jacek M.
(2,4,6) = 20 pts
** Haiku 91 was really wonderful -- one can almost see the swinging paper lantern and the moth shadows.
**Love this!
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19 Points
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flurry of moths
under the porch light
our first kiss
Tom
(1,2,12) = 19 pts
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15 Points
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Golden wedding --
he plucks moths from
her dress
Cezar F.
(2,2,5) = 15 pts
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11 Points
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tattered moth...
he carefully turns
the last page
Allison Millcock
(0,3,5) = 11 pts
**That is a beautiful observation, I can see the scene. The adverb "carefully" is so well used here.
moth-eaten shawl --
grandma looks at me
from an old photo
Virginia Popescu
(0,2,7) = 11 pts
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10 Points
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oh silly moth
shall I tell you
the tale of Icarus?
Terri L. French
(0,2,6) = 10 pts
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9 Points
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funeral parlour
around the table lamp
a wreath of moths
André Surridge
(1,2,2) = 9 pts
**It's wonderful. I'd give it more if I could. I can't justify voting for any others lest this one lose.
Perseids--
moths circle
the porch light
Alan S. Bridges
(1,1,4) = 9 pts
gypsy moth --
the wind tugs at
a brown leaf
sanjukta
(0,3,3) = 9 pts
change of plans
the caterpillar
becomes a moth
Cara Holman
(0,1,7) = 9 pts
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8 Points
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Veteran of war -–
the burial suit
is riddled by moths
Petru-Ioan Garda
(1,1,3) = 8 pts
silver lining ...
a moth vanishes
in the moonlight
Don
(1,0,5) = 8 pts
sudden twitch
of the oak tree’s bark
becomes a moth
if=
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
garden lantern
among the lilies
a flitting moth
Maxianne
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
summer dusk
a rabble of moths gather
in the squid boat’s light
Ron C. Moss
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
moth
on my doormat --
welcome
Liz Rule
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
Luna moth—
some things
we can’t see
Alegria
(0,1,6) = 8 pts
Cecropia
last year's spelling champ
forgets the "i"
Edward
(0,1,6) = 8 pts
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7 Points
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his side of it...
moth parts
in the porch lamp
Polona
(1,0,4) = 7 pts
silence
tapping the porch light
a moth
Steve Mitchell
(0,3,1) = 7 pts
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6 Points
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bonfire ash
the moths that my cigar
attracted
Lex Joy
(1,0,3) = 6 pts
moonrise
drifting through the night
a lunar moth
Carolyn Coit Dancy
(0,2,2) = 6 pts
summer moon;
a yellow moth striking the pane
again and again
manoj saranathan
(0,2,2) = 6 pts
Moths congregate
around the lantern
midnight mass
Meredith Stern Cavalieri
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
**nice play on words
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5 Points
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this moth
tries to undress her
too
Ralf Bröker
(1,0,2) = 5 pts
93.
widespread wings
on the quiet pond
a moth’s last flutter
Sandy Gillespie
(1,0,2) = 5 pts
yahrzeit . . .
the gypsy moth hovers
outside our window
Margaret Dornaus
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
a leopard moth
asleep in the sink --
the remote inn
Michael McClintock
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
atlas moth
the tree disappears
from view
:^) bre
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
wobble, lurch, wobble
the dead moth
and the ant
Vida
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
after the tornado
a flutter of moths circle
the leaning street light
Rose Marie Stutts
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
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4 Points
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a young girl in white
running in moonstruck darkness
a moth fluttering...
natalia kuznetsova
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
in the workplace
librarian trumps naturalist
murdered moth
- ru
(0,2,0) = 4 pts
**I love the gentle contrariness of this picture.
moths touching
the wallpaper pattern
in mother's room
Michele L. Harvey
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
capturing the moth
wing-dust
stains my fingers
Donna Bauerly
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
the purple moth ——
only a dusty smudge
is left behind
Marylouise Knight
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
moths on pins
a sailboat races
the storm
Laurene
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
dim candle light --
a passing moth leaves us
in the dark
~ Siboko Yamame
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
living alone
her porch light attracts
a luna moth
Beth Powell
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
lesser lights --
moths enter the orbit
of the street lamp
Elaine Riddell
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
turn on the lights --
a dark moth flies
from the landscape painting
Israel López Balan
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
heat wave
heavy with luna moth eggs
a fallen leaf
Kat Creighton
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
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3 Points
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distant thunder
a moth circles a candle
the radio plays viva las vegas
Jon Espen Vassbotn
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
first light of morning --
the white moth
unmoved
-- gillena cox
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
peonies witness
two white moths
fluttering tango
Lorraine Margueritte Gasrel Black
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
sleeping
on a light bulb--
moths
Maria Santomauro
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
driving me crazy
the flapping moth inside
my inner ear
Barbara A Taylor
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
calm sea
the porthole
windowed with moth wings
--Peter Newton
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
a hole in the wing
the moth
glows
Peleridis
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
Childhood house
the only lodgers
the moths
Ailoaei Cristina
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
window spiders --
in grandma’s rocking chair
a moth
Patricia Lidia
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
sleepless...
flitting round the lamp
my grey thoughts
Ruth Powell
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
an Altas moth
alights on the map --
I hold my breath
James Dobson
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
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2 Points
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cabbage moths flutter
white wings dance on green shadows
snowflakes in July
dragonfly
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
moth
looks at falling leaves
in the blitzrain
jani sørensen
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
feeling as small
as a moth without a lamp . . .
the great north woods
Kirsty Karkow
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
dawn
the moth's shade
takes off
Bouwe Brouwer
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
big wings
in the butterfly garden
silk moth
Carmen Sterba
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
a white spring moth lingers in the dusk
martin gottlieb cohen
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
mammoth moth
having its way
with our jasmine bush
Elsa Colligan
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
light of dawn--
hovers over candle-smoke
a moth
Vishnu P Kapoor
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
moonlight on display
lilac scent is stirred
by moth wings
Harvey Jenkins
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
coldest night...
the cabbage moth
caresses the kitchen window
Angela Terry
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
twilight moth
caught between angry voices,
slamming screen door
Kurt R. W.
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
a moth
now where
will I find holes?
Barbara Campitelli
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
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1 Point
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sickbed
a fluttering moth
outside
gogatsu
dusky evening / was it butterfly or bird / mysterious sphinx
Leslie Brockway
moth on a screen
interdicted in its journey
to the TV moon
gourdman
nightfall
creamy moth wings
around the lamp
Frances O'Keeffe
the cat
chasing a moths
nightly entertainment
Bill Hudson
an unlanded moth
circling the sky --
midnight sun
Tikkanen Juhani
August rain~
a porch puddle moth
sticks to my shoe
Anonymous
soft spring twilight
a lime-green leaf takes flight:
luna moth
-- Chitra Rajappa
summer's end -–
under a lamp on the path,
a dying moth
Tomislav
Actias luna...
the three-year-old sees
a green butterfly
--Diane Mayr
a candlefly
attending his own funeral...
new moon
Tom Conally
haloed moon
at my breast a green moth
flutters
Anonymous
on the lamp shade --
a dead moth
gapping the light
Manuela Dragomirescu
still summer night
one moth after the other
zapped
Stevie Strang
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No Points This Time. Sorry.
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a huge Luna moth
on the summer sky --
delta wing hang glider
sTOPs
night jungle walk
flashlight deepens
the hawk moths love
Ramesh Anand
on my turtle's path
that tomato worm
won't become moth
Chandra Bales
july meadow
the night-butterfly
over a broken rainbow
Oddbjørn Aardalen
in the cornfield
Io moth eyes the shadows
full moon rises
Ben Gieske
the ghost of your kiss visits my lips,
soft as a moth
beating my mouth
- Suzume
light switch--
white moth
ink dark window
jill
moth in a spotlight
from her window Juliet
calls Romeo ... Romeo
carol pearce-worthington
a miller moth
flutters over my inked poem
in approval
zeyda
wavering light
the moth wings'
stolen kiss
Anonymous
on a thorny stem
a moth takes tentative steps
mimicking a leaf
Deirdre Godwin
Picture window,
moth checking reflections --
our first date.
Trevor Camp
silhouettes
follows the longing fellow
night moths
Peter O. Silvani
a moth crossing through
his love song
in thunder moonlight
Bill Pauly
silence again
around the dimmer light
-another dead moth
renaye
unpacking a trunk
wondering when my little friends
feasted on my clothes
Hazel A. Witherspoon
fluttering frenzy. . .
mediterranean meal moth
life cycle on raw peanuts
eric
rain puddle --
a moth alights on the peak
of Mont Blank
Anonymous
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General Comments:
**The Shiki kukai is a great resource for reading great haiku and for beginners like me to keep attempting to write good haiku. Thanks so much.
**I have always loved moths (except for that irksome one in my ear!) . They have the most fantastic designs on their wings. And they come in so many different sizes, colours.
**Thanks for this opportunity to read some very good haiku again. As usual, it took me time to choose and weigh which ones I should give my 'loonie' vote. In the end, I suppose, I vote not only for what I believe is a good haiku based on my continuous reading, but on my own preference. Haiku, after all, is poetry, hence, an art. And isn't all art subject to the likes of whoever reads, sees, watches and hears it? I've also consistently given only 'one' vote, knowing that others will add to it; I'd rather spread it out, in case, that one vote makes a difference for one poet; it would for me.
** I looked for those haiku that showed the juxtaposition of two images.
**Lots of good ones to choose from!
Free Format Theme:
'Weather Vernacular'
(*Weather explanations in this section are indicated with a single asterisk)
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First Place - 30 Points
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words
we’ve left unsaid--
Indian summer
Alegria
*Indian Summer--that brief return to summer temps after the first frost
(2,6,12) = 30 pts
**Lovely haiku, both parts fitting together so well,
and poignant too...
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Second Place - 29 Points
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cold front
she ladles the soup
in silence
Tom
(2,5,13) = 29 pts
**You immediately feel the chill radiating from the woman and wonder what led to this mood. I've been there!
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Third Place – 24 Points
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haying weather...
the lemonade jug
perspires
Ruth Powell
(0,7,10) = 24 pts
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21 Points
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high winds
the swinging shadow
of the porch light
:^) bre
*gale-force wind
(1,6,6) = 21 pts
**I like the focus on the shadow.
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16 Points
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heat lightning
the slam of the porch door
after the argument
Meredith Stern Cavalieri
(1,2,9) = 16 pts
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14 Points
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Indian summer
my to-do list
grows longer
Cara Holman
(0,5,4) = 14 pts
picnic weather
through the silver birch
wickered light
André Surridge
*comfortable, dry weather good for outside activities
(0,5,4) = 14 pts
frost on the pumpkin . . .
I think about the child
that might have been
Margaret Dornaus
(0,1,12) = 14 pts
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11 Points
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dog days
my neighbor's howl
again
gogatsu
*hot and humid weather pattern of late summer named for the time of year
when Sirius (the dog star) is closest to the sun.
(0,2,7) = 11 pts
convergent zone --
the scent of lavender
and dust
Angela Terry
*weather phenomena in the Pacific Northwest where two air streams converge
and create a long-lasting rain-making system.
(0,2,7) = 11 pts
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10 Points
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weathered in…
the smell of the pot bellied stove
martin gottlieb cohen
(1,0,7) = 10 pts
Saskatchewan Screamer
the new kid pulls his tongue
off the flagpole
Edward
*variant of the Alberta Clipper
(0,1,8) = 10 pts
dog days --
songs of crickets
in new mown hay
Patricia Lidia
(0,1,8) = 10 pts
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9 Points
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thick-o-fog . . .
did he or did he not
kiss me in that dream?
Kirsty Karkow
*a thick sea fog
(0,1,7) = 9 pts
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8 Points
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June gloom
her son returns from Iraq
unharmed
Stevie Strang
(2,0,2) = 8 pts
summer shower ——
our grandson wonders
about cats and dogs
natalia kuznetsova
(0,3,2) = 8 pts
beach day
the old woman finally comes
out of her shell
Kat Creighton
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
partly sunny
partly cloudy
partly right
Terri L. French
(0,0,8) = 8 pts
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7 Points
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Alberta Clipper --
losing the feeling
in fingers and toes
Michele L. Harvey
*Alberta Clipper is a cold front down from the Artic
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
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6 Points
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thunderstorm--
it's raining
cats and dogs
Maria Santomauro
*heavy, soaking rain
(0,2,2) = 6 pts
**I love this image, a common phrase from my childhood and still in use.
snail weather:
tangled silver trails
streak the garden path
-- Chitra Rajappa
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
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5 Points
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polar fleece nights
it's brass monkey time
in the granite belt
Barbara A Taylor
(1,0,2) = 5 pts
**I smiled at this lovely evocation of cold - "brass monkey weather" is a derivative of the expression "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey."
The origin of the phrase is to do with war, though - the brass monkey was a brass rack or platform on which cannonballs would be set in readiness for use. In extreme cold, the brass would contract, sometimes to the extent that the cannonballs would roll off. Hence the expression and its subsequent, widespread use.
haymaking,
even on the life line
some callosities
Constantin Stroe
*a string of warm, dry days good for reaping grasses and grains
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
moon halo
touching the rim
of our old well
Donna Bauerly
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
Indian summer
the praying mantis
seems grouchy
Don
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
**This irony of this one made me smile
soup weather . . .
my son calls to tell me
he has cancer
Alice Frampton
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
dog day
the old tabby slinks
into the shade
Beth Powell
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
muggy 4th of July--
the new girlfriend
clinging to me
Bill Pauly
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
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4 Points
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unseasonable
locals calling it
Junuary
--Peter Newton
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
Blessed weather--
just like near my window a lilac
comes into blossom
Adina Enachescu
(0,2,0) = 4 pts
virga
not reaching far
enough
Chandra Bales
*sheets of rain that often evaporate before reaching the ground
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
Ripe wheat--
picking a bunch of ears
for my mother
Oprica Padeanu
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
my dog comes to me
to lean against my leg --
thunderboomers
zeyda
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
the yellow sky——
I bring in the dog and pots
of basil and chives
Marylouise Knight
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
under a flame tree
a mob of kangaroos
twitch in the heat
Ron C. Moss
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
someone done left
the north gate open--
cold & blowin'
Alan S. Bridges
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
sultry day
trading "it's hotter than.." jokes
in six languages
Hazel A. Witherspoon
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
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3 Points
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today's rainfall -
grandmother would have said
"weather for young ducks"
-- gillena cox
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
pineapple express
tropical moisture arrives
with December clouds
Harvey Jenkins
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
The mares tail clouds
She packs for a picnic
But brings a shawl
Angelika Kolompar
*high altitude cirrus clouds indicating a change in weather, usually
precipitation.
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
when it rains it pours
joy the day mother gave me
morton salt girl gear
Nancy Smith
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
dog days --
my new shag cut
goes limp
sanjukta
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
mango season;
a lone fly buzzing in
the noon heat.
Manoj Saranathan
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
** I prefer present tense "buzzes".
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2 Points
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over the Moon
sweet love knows
singing-heart weather
Lorraine Margueritte Gasrel Black
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
suddenly clouds --
fine weather
for young ducks
sTOPs
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
rain rises
swallows
fall
jani sørensen
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
**good observant augery
my kite drifts westwards--
grandpa's forecast
"purvayiya" means rain
*purvayiya in Hindi means easterly wind; it brings rain in monsoon months
over north India
Vishnu P Kapoor
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
**Grandpa will, I think, out to be right despite the brave youngster flying his kite.
golden field of wheat --
fragrance of fresh bread
everywhere
Virginia Popescu
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
green tomatoes
line pantry shelves
summer’s end
Sandy Gillespie
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
cold snap
new buds indignant
branches tremble
miriam chaikin
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
Dog Day evening...
sipping iced tea
on the front porch
Rose Marie Stutts
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
horsetail clouds . . .
a flock of buzzards
perched in the oak
Michael McClintock
*see mares tail clouds at entry 1.
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
muggy heat
a young crow begs
to be fed
Anonymous
*muggy weather is hot and humid
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
grasshopper weather
can`t hear anything
because of the fog
Oddbjørn Aardalen
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
soft rain
wet grass
celtic summer
Frances O'Keeffe
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
day of departure
his face announces
a high pressure area
Ralf Bröker
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
May storm...
I spray pheromones
onto her nightdress
--Jacek M.
(0,0,2) = 2 pts
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1 Point
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spear grass season
a pair of magpie geese
on spits
Allison Millcock
bubbly weather --
the ice cream takes
moment to melt
Ramesh Anand
chicory moon
under white fluffy clouds
fourth red tomato
gourdman
cloudy periods
changing to afternoon sun
U.V. index high
Deirdre Godwin
Curly clouds
race in a blue sky
hillside sheep.
Trevor Camp
*mares tail clouds
a stream of people
run into the post office --
spitting rain
~ Isabelle Prondzynski
too limp to laugh...
on TV she call this
"humditity"
Anonymous
blazing sun
the weatherman says
rain is immanent
Barbara Campitelli
the news
- another hot one, Folks
not news
Steve Mitchell
downpour
bouncing off a flat rock
a cow pissing
- ru
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No Points This Time. Sorry.
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dog days
huge skin graft
on her left foot
if
hazy afternoon
orange air quality
July fire sale
dragonfly
rain coming--
five fly bites
guarantee
jill
hurricane predictions
he talks about the strength
of the Bermuda high
Laurene
the south norwegian "smeigedag"
strokes/cuddles/fondles everything
till' you just stretch out and purrrrrr
Jon Espen Vassbotn
* "Smeigedag" is a hot, sunny day just before the rain sets in.
the neighbor
eating hot pepper
in this heat
Bill Hudson
smokin' blues
can't get much hotter
ha--humidex!
Maxianne
Squall of rain?
No, just her
sudden diarrhea.
Tikkanen Juhani
under the weather --
she awakes at noon
and smiles at me
James Dobson
heat wave --
a southerly buster storms
up the coast
Liz Rule
*a cold front from the Tasman Sea, heralded by a stiff wind from the south
is known in areas of Australia as the “Southerly Buster.”
rejoining
the humid race
monsoon flow
Ann K. Schwader
a squished beetle...
he goes back in to get
his umbrella
--Diane Mayr
warm today
hot tamale...
mexican summer
Tom Conally
winter's
first polar rodent --
snow to low levels
Elaine Riddell
Canicular South --
Now I know why the compass
indicate North
Petru-Ioan Garda
*of or relating to the "dog days"
good weather
bad weather
we all weather together
eric
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General Comments:
**I loved these haiku - I thought Weather Vernacular was a good choice, despite some objections which you mentioned. I really enjoyed them. Thanks.
**Difficult theme? Yes. But what a width of ingenuity and experience! Well done, dear editors
**Some of these were really quite “interesting” …..
**Thank you for the enjoyment!
**I really found the selection of the theme confusing. I'm glad it eventually resulted in some fine haiku which made me wish I had more points to give.
**Thank you for the great weather-term information!
**Very clever haiku for a very challenging prompt!
**I had no idea there where so many different localized weather expressions. This subject contained many educational haiku. Thanks for the weather lore. One true thing we can’t live without the weather…
**First, I would like to say that I really enjoyed the subject. I did hesitate for a moment when I first read it, but it turned out to be interesting and I really enjoyed the participants' haikus.
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Thank you for participating in the July 2011 Kukai!
We will announce the September 2011 Call for Submissions on Monday, September 5th. See you then!
With much appreciation,
The Shiki Monthly Kukai Team