Congratulations to Melissa Spurr, winner of our Kigo section and to Collin Barber, winner of our Free Format section!
August 2009 Results
Kigo Theme:
Corn or Maize
First Place -- 37 points
late summer
corn stalks closing in
on the scarecrow
Melissa Spurr
(3,7,14) = 37 pts
Besides the lovely visual effect in this haiku, I thoroughly enjoy the gentle irony of the cornstalks "closing in". What a great L2! It also makes me aware that the scarecrow was almost all that could be seen in the field earlier in the year and now, it's almost hidden by the corn.
Second Place -- 21 pts
corn silk--
the baby's hair
holds a spit curl
DeVar
(1,6,6) = 21 pts
Third Place -- 20 pts
thunderhead moon
shucking dry corn
in the porch light
Ron Moss
(1,3,11) = 20 pts
I enjoyed the atmosphere.
Fourth Place -- 16 pts
early moon--
she pats blue corn masa
into perfect circles
Terri L. French
(3,2,3) = 16 pts
I’ve waked to that predawn slapping many times.
Fifth Place -- 15 pts
a Navajo child
clutches her corn husk doll
the orphanage
Carolyn Coit Dancy
(2,3,3) = 15 pts
Sixth Place -- 14 pts
slice of sky
a prairie wind rattles
the corn maze
Catherine J.S. Lee
(0,2,10) = 14 pts
I enjoy the way we begin by seeing the sky, then are moved from alliteration to the sound of the wind. The use of "rattles" is wonderful, giving me both a distinct sound and a subtle sense of agitation.
I love the animation in this one; liked the choice of the word "slice" here.
Seventh Place -- 13 pts
she combs her hair
rows of tasseled corn
curve with the hillside
Elaine Riddell
(1,3,4) = 13 pts
field of corn -
my girl and I look for
her bra
Andrzej Dembonczyk
(0,3,7) = 13 pts
Eighth Place -- 12 pts
parched field
he bends to straighten
a corn stalk
Warren Gossett
(0,3,6) = 12 pts
On first read, this seems like a simple description, but there are also layers of meaning for me below the surface. I get a sense of an old man, not only parched by thirst but also withered by life itself. And yet, here he is, tending his corn as though his life depends upon it.
I like the contrast here and the appeal to the senses part of which is intimated rather than stated; as well there is a nice crisp attitude in the writing of this haiku; this was my favourite of all but I gave only one point, only because there were so many good ones I also wanted to score.
Ninth Place -- 11 pts
corn maze entrance
about an hour's walk from...
corn maze entrance
Rafal Zabratynski
(1,2,4) = 11 pts
Really excellent! There is a sense of immediacy, sharing with the reader the experience through subtle, yet direct, and economical wording. Perhaps best of all is the Zen humor of however things change they also stay the same.
Tenth Place -- 10 pts
fresh start
she slices a peach
for our cornflakes
tom painting
(1,2,3) = 10 pts
love this one, what is left unspoken. The special touch she adds to the cornflakes representing a recommitment to the relationship.
in the cornfield
a faint cry
of a child
Meggy
(0,4,2) = 10 pts
runaway
the cornfield
in her face
Roberta Beary
(0,3,4) = 10 pts
Eleventh Place -- 9 pts
drive-in theater ...
the warm popcorn box
on my lap
Ramona Linke
(0,2,5) = 9 pts
Twelfth Place -- 8 pts
back home---
the corn higher
pockets empty
John Soules
(1,1,3) = 8 pts
family reunion
bright colored maize
row after row
Laurene
(1,0,5) = 8 pts
It might need a little polishing but all the ingredients are there for a fine verse.
cornfield kiss -
a secret whispered
to the ears
Alexander "Lex" Joy
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
scattered corn-
shadow of the volcano
on the stone altar
KRZYSZTOF PL
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
the sound of the wind
across the cornfields—
prairie summers
Marylouise Knight
(0,0,8) = 8 pts
Thirteenth Place -- 7 pts
windless night
insects owls and the rustle
of growing corn
gourdman
(1,1,2) = 7 pts
Fourteenth Place -- 6 pts
fall field—
corn rows
catch her hair
Janet Marxen
(1,1,1) = 6 pts
autumn night --
the meager corn crop becomes
premium moonshine
Edward
(1,1,1) = 6 pts
Sounds delicious.
butter slathered
from ear to ear
corn cob cook-out
andrea
(0,2,2) = 6 pts
fields of slanted maize yielding whispers _kala (0,2,2) = 6 pts corn planting—
her prayer
in the incense smoke
Ellen Compton
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
state fair-
a gap-toothed boy
buys buttered corn
Devika
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
Fifteenth Place -- 5 pts
a pale of husks
a gathering of children
for the magic of dolls
Merrill Ann Gonzales
(1,1,0) = 5 pts
hot summer day
running through the cornfield
naked as a crow
Sjs Stevie Strang
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
Without line three: my favourite.
hide and seek - -
alarmed crows flock
from the cornfield
Terry O'Connor
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
corn moon
the rustle of silk
in his ears
Francine Banwarth
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
through the tall red dancing heads of poppies a corn field
Andre Surridge
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
cold afternoon --
an old toothless woman
roasting maize
stephen macharia
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
A mixture of pathos and wit.
Without “old” worth more.
corn maze . . .
children's voices shade
from laughter to fear
Bill Pauly
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
Sixteenth Place -- 4 pts
My Polish cousin
Eating his corn on the cob -
Neatly - with a fork!
Conrad Sienkiewicz
(0,2,0) = 4 pts
summer night in the corn field –
they share
the last allergy pill
Aalix Roake
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
corn stubble fields
a buggy obscured
in the driving rain
Jennifer Corpe
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
To the horizon
the gentle wave of corn
with the evening sun
Horst Ludwig
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
This is a firm picture in my head and in my heart.
pop of the roasting corn-
I sink my teeth into
the sound of rain
sanjukta
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
corn silk
ancient designs on the
backstrap loom
Allen McGill
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
his smile
from ear to ear ~
corn festival
Mary Davila
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
Charming.
surrounded by silk
two girls laughing on the stoop
husking corn
Shelley Krause
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
A nice playful scene; I like the liveliness in this haiku.
Seventeenth Place -- 3 pts
Scarecrow guarding corn
Springtime problem for blackbirds
Such super villain
Joseph Spence, Sr.
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
Ears of corn
you make love noises
as we eat.
Trevor Camp
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
farmer's market--
sharing a corn earworm's path
with a stranger
aom (tim)
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
on a country road –
an elaborate sculpture
of an ear of corn
Patricia Prime
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
maize roaster --
golden sparks fly
into the dusk
Isabelle Prondzynski
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
ripening corn-
when did they grow up?
our kids...
DA
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
corn maze...
no sign of the elephant
nor its eye
Scott Mason
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
pecking holes
in the corn bag
our festive chook
Barbara A Taylor
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
a boy chews an
abandoned green maize...
late noon
Catherine Njeri Maina
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
Abandoned: it fascinates and repels.
for children
a maze
in the maize
Barbara Campitelli
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
vociferous murmur
from the maize plantation...
August showers
Patrick Wafula
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
Free Format Theme:
Fasting or Hunger
First Place -- 42 pts
hunger pangs
the vending machine
eats a dollar
Collin Barber
(3,8,17) = 42 pts
Evokes a common experience.
Second Place -- 34 pts
winter sunset
the beggar's shadow
grows thinner
Melissa Spurr
(1,8,15) = 34 pts
Thinning sunlight, thinning shadows, and a thinning beggar create a powerful image and haiku.
Third Place -- 23 pts
evening walk --
two fasting monks debate
the color of hunger
Edward
(1,6,8) = 23 pts
Interesting picture of detachment.
Absurd. And full of real life.
Fourth Place -- 20 pts
three-day fast
a night loon echoes
my emptiness
Francine Banwarth
(1,4,9) = 20 pts
Best of the litter award.
The phrase is beautiful in this haiku! I especially like the link between sound and mood.
Fifth Place -- 18 pts
fasting
I swallow the morning star
whole
rob scott
(2,3,6) = 18 pts
Sixth Place -- 15 pts
Bagdad street
child sharing bread
with a hungry dog
Terri L. French
(1,6,0) = 15 pts
Seventh Place -- 14 pts
all day fast
a pair of sneakers
by the scale
Roberta Beary
(0,5,4) = 14 pts I like what is shown to support what is stated.
Eighth Place -- 12 pts
famine lengthens...
she adds more water
to the soup
Ruth Powell
(1,2,5) = 12 pts
The famine stretches across time, while the person (who I imagine is a poverty-stricken mother of several children) tries to stretch their meager meal just a little bit further.
Ninth Place -- 11 pts
drought
cattle motionless
in the dust
Allen McGill
(1,3,2) = 11 pts
Wonderful. The whole long and sad story caught in six words. The poet has been there.
midnight hunger
we spoon each other
ice cream
Terry O'Connor
(0,3,5) = 11 pts
bloodwood moon
a starving dingo paces
the rain shadow
Ron Moss
(0,2,7) = 11 pts
Tenth Place -- 10 pts
the darkness meows
again for food
winter night
David Grayson
(0,2,6) = 10 pts
Eleventh Place -- 9 pts
period of fasting…
I tighten my belt again
one more hole
Jacek M.
(0,3,3) = 9 pts
watching the stars...
a hungry boy forgets
to eat his supper
Catherine Njeri Maina
(0,2,5) = 9 pts
fasting
with the buddha ...
today only rain
Ed Schwellenbach
(0,2,5) = 9 pts
Twelfth Place -- 8 pts
starving urchin –
he stumbles upon fasting
holy men
Gautam Nadkarni
(1,1,3) = 8 pts
gibbous moon
the distended belly
of a poster child
Susan Constable
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
Weight Watcher's meeting
we gather for an hour
and talk about food
Harvey Jenkins
(0,1,6) = 8 pts
Great scene, just a bit too overloaded with words.
hunger moon
an auger's whine
out on the ice
tom painting
(0,0,8) = 8 pts
Thirteenth Place -- 7 pts
deer tracks
fill with new snow
hunger moon
Diane Mayr
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
day five fasting
he smells a meal served
on TV
gourdman
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
Great idea. Unfortunately rather prose than poetry in my eyes.
Fourteenth Place -- 6 pts
fasting ends
each kind of berry
its own aroma
Audrey Downey
(1,0,3) = 6 pts
hunger pains the rumble of war memories
Andre Surridge
(0,2,2) = 6 pts
Hunger pains the rumble of war memories poetic yet still haiku; I love this.
fasting day
dad is throwing crumbs
to the pigeons
Boris Nazansky
(0,2,2) = 6 pts
staff meeting -
the first hunger pang
comes with sound
Laurene
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
Fifteenth Place -- 5 pts
11 hours drive
when I finally stop for lunch
mosquitoes
Bruce Ross
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
forty-hour fast –
I sneak a square
of chocolate
Patricia Prime
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
morning bells--
louder, the cry
of a hungry kitten
Nelson
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
Sixteenth Place -- 4 pts
morning hunger -
I choose which blossoms
are put on the altar
Bhalachandra Sahaj
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
the thin teats
of a starving sow
her withered piglet
Garry Eaton
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
defiant, she put
three pennies on the counter
"one egg, please"
miriam chaikin
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
the sadhu –
a wooden bowl
his measure of hunger
Gregg Crow
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
There are unasked questions posed here, it's the kind of haiku that leaves one pondering.
fourth fasting day-
the calm
of a rock garden Buddha
Devika
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
Seventeenth Place -- 3 pts
ending fast-
a glimpse of the moon,
a glimpse of him
DA
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
Love how the word "glimpse" represents the thinness of the man.
at catfish creek
nothing left
but the bones
carol pearce-worthington
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
Thinking about what has happened makes me nervous.
summer drizzle...
a dog jumps out of a trash bin
with a bone
Kameshwar Rao
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
in the beggar's bowl
an autumn wind provides
his tea
Merrill Ann Gonzales
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
If you would remove a few words, I think you would polish this haiku to a nice shine. Perhaps drop everything but "beggars bowl" in the first line, break the second line after wind, and drop "his" in the third. Just a suggestion, and I voted for your haiku just as it is.
going downstairs
to collect the newspaper
the smell of bacon
Marylouise Knight
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
barbecue party
a chat about dieting
in the future tense
Rafal Zabratynski
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
General Comments:
Too bad I had to eliminate a number of good poems because the prescribed words were not actually used as kigo. Even so, it was difficult to select my top three.
Some really nice ones had to be cut because the kigo didn't apply to the correct season.
I see that I'm not the only participant who had difficulty with this kigo. I'd say a lot of our attempts are sentences, laundry lists, or are so obscure they reveal nothing - mine included!
I enjoyed all of the free format haiku..I really wish I could have picked more.
This month's two themes have really spoken to our Kenya haijin. Maize, the staple food of Kenya. Hunger, the current situation of Kenya, after two years of insufficient rain and empty water reservoirs. The Kenya poets have been suffering hunger, and their haiku this month have been written from direct experience. Thank you both for these two great themes!
Wow, both these contests were tough--too many good poems, not enough points to award! Many thanks!
After reading the free format entries, I can see that everyone gave their best efforts there - myself included. I'm having a hard time whittling my list down!
This one was a lot tougher to find the right ones. There are so many excellent ones in here. The triviality of plenty and the many faces of hunger side by side.