August 2009 Kukai

Kigo Theme: 

Corn or Maize

First Place -- 37 points

late summer

corn stalks closing in

on the scarecrow

Melissa Spurr

(3,7,14) = 37 pts

Besides the lovely visual effect in this haiku, I thoroughly enjoy the gentle irony of the cornstalks "closing in". What a great L2! It also makes me aware that the scarecrow was almost all that could be seen in the field earlier in the year and now, it's almost hidden by the corn.

Second Place -- 21 pts

corn silk--

the baby's hair

holds a spit curl

DeVar

(1,6,6) = 21 pts

Third Place -- 20 pts

thunderhead moon

shucking dry corn

in the porch light

Ron Moss

(1,3,11) = 20 pts

I enjoyed the atmosphere.

Fourth Place -- 16 pts

early moon--

she pats blue corn masa

into perfect circles

Terri L. French

(3,2,3) = 16 pts

I’ve waked to that predawn slapping many times.

Fifth Place -- 15 pts

a Navajo child

clutches her corn husk doll

the orphanage

Carolyn Coit Dancy

(2,3,3) = 15 pts

Sixth Place -- 14 pts

slice of sky

a prairie wind rattles

the corn maze

Catherine J.S. Lee

(0,2,10) = 14 pts

I enjoy the way we begin by seeing the sky, then are moved from alliteration to the sound of the wind. The use of "rattles" is wonderful, giving me both a distinct sound and a subtle sense of agitation.

I love the animation in this one; liked the choice of the word "slice" here.

Seventh Place -- 13 pts

she combs her hair

rows of tasseled corn

curve with the hillside

Elaine Riddell

(1,3,4) = 13 pts

field of corn -

my girl and I look for

her bra

Andrzej Dembonczyk

(0,3,7) = 13 pts

Eighth Place -- 12 pts

parched field

he bends to straighten

a corn stalk

Warren Gossett

(0,3,6) = 12 pts

On first read, this seems like a simple description, but there are also layers of meaning for me below the surface. I get a sense of an old man, not only parched by thirst but also withered by life itself. And yet, here he is, tending his corn as though his life depends upon it.

I like the contrast here and the appeal to the senses part of which is intimated rather than stated; as well there is a nice crisp attitude in the writing of this haiku; this was my favourite of all but I gave only one point, only because there were so many good ones I also wanted to score.

Ninth Place -- 11 pts

corn maze entrance

about an hour's walk from...

corn maze entrance

Rafal Zabratynski

(1,2,4) = 11 pts

Really excellent! There is a sense of immediacy, sharing with the reader the experience through subtle, yet direct, and economical wording. Perhaps best of all is the Zen humor of however things change they also stay the same.

Tenth Place -- 10 pts

fresh start

she slices a peach

for our cornflakes

tom painting

(1,2,3) = 10 pts

love this one, what is left unspoken. The special touch she adds to the cornflakes representing a recommitment to the relationship.

in the cornfield

a faint cry

of a child

Meggy

(0,4,2) = 10 pts

runaway

the cornfield

in her face

Roberta Beary

(0,3,4) = 10 pts

Eleventh Place -- 9 pts

drive-in theater ...

the warm popcorn box

on my lap

Ramona Linke

(0,2,5) = 9 pts

Twelfth Place -- 8 pts

back home---

the corn higher

pockets empty

John Soules

(1,1,3) = 8 pts

family reunion

bright colored maize

row after row

Laurene

(1,0,5) = 8 pts

It might need a little polishing but all the ingredients are there for a fine verse.

cornfield kiss -

a secret whispered

to the ears

Alexander "Lex" Joy

(0,2,4) = 8 pts

scattered corn-

shadow of the volcano

on the stone altar

KRZYSZTOF PL

(0,2,4) = 8 pts

the sound of the wind

across the cornfields—

prairie summers

Marylouise Knight

(0,0,8) = 8 pts

Thirteenth Place -- 7 pts

windless night

insects owls and the rustle

of growing corn

gourdman

(1,1,2) = 7 pts

Fourteenth Place -- 6 pts

fall field—

corn rows

catch her hair

Janet Marxen

(1,1,1) = 6 pts

autumn night --

the meager corn crop becomes

premium moonshine

Edward

(1,1,1) = 6 pts

Sounds delicious.

butter slathered

from ear to ear

corn cob cook-out

andrea

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

fields of slanted maize yielding whispers _kala (0,2,2) = 6 pts corn planting—

her prayer

in the incense smoke

Ellen Compton

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

state fair-

a gap-toothed boy

buys buttered corn

Devika

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

Fifteenth Place -- 5 pts

a pale of husks

a gathering of children

for the magic of dolls

Merrill Ann Gonzales

(1,1,0) = 5 pts

hot summer day

running through the cornfield

naked as a crow

Sjs Stevie Strang

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

Without line three: my favourite.

hide and seek - -

alarmed crows flock

from the cornfield

Terry O'Connor

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

corn moon

the rustle of silk

in his ears

Francine Banwarth

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

through the tall red dancing heads of poppies a corn field

Andre Surridge

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

cold afternoon --

an old toothless woman

roasting maize

stephen macharia

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

A mixture of pathos and wit.

Without “old” worth more.

corn maze . . .

children's voices shade

from laughter to fear

Bill Pauly

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

Sixteenth Place -- 4 pts

My Polish cousin

Eating his corn on the cob -

Neatly - with a fork!

Conrad Sienkiewicz

(0,2,0) = 4 pts

summer night in the corn field –

they share

the last allergy pill

Aalix Roake

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

corn stubble fields

a buggy obscured

in the driving rain

Jennifer Corpe

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

To the horizon

the gentle wave of corn

with the evening sun

Horst Ludwig

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

This is a firm picture in my head and in my heart.

pop of the roasting corn-

I sink my teeth into

the sound of rain

sanjukta

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

corn silk

ancient designs on the

backstrap loom

Allen McGill

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

his smile

from ear to ear ~

corn festival

Mary Davila

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

Charming.

surrounded by silk

two girls laughing on the stoop

husking corn

Shelley Krause

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

A nice playful scene; I like the liveliness in this haiku.

Seventeenth Place -- 3 pts

Scarecrow guarding corn

Springtime problem for blackbirds

Such super villain

Joseph Spence, Sr.

(1,0,0) = 3 pts

Ears of corn

you make love noises

as we eat.

Trevor Camp

(1,0,0) = 3 pts

farmer's market--

sharing a corn earworm's path

with a stranger

aom (tim)

(1,0,0) = 3 pts

on a country road –

an elaborate sculpture

of an ear of corn

Patricia Prime

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

maize roaster --

golden sparks fly

into the dusk

Isabelle Prondzynski

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

ripening corn-

when did they grow up?

our kids...

DA

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

corn maze...

no sign of the elephant

nor its eye

Scott Mason

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

pecking holes

in the corn bag

our festive chook

Barbara A Taylor

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

a boy chews an

abandoned green maize...

late noon

Catherine Njeri Maina

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

Abandoned: it fascinates and repels.

for children

a maze

in the maize

Barbara Campitelli

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

vociferous murmur

from the maize plantation...

August showers

Patrick Wafula

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

Free Format Theme:

Fasting or Hunger

First Place -- 42 pts

hunger pangs

the vending machine

eats a dollar

Collin Barber

(3,8,17) = 42 pts

Evokes a common experience.

Second Place -- 34 pts

winter sunset

the beggar's shadow

grows thinner

Melissa Spurr

(1,8,15) = 34 pts

Thinning sunlight, thinning shadows, and a thinning beggar create a powerful image and haiku.

Third Place -- 23 pts

evening walk --

two fasting monks debate

the color of hunger

Edward

(1,6,8) = 23 pts

Interesting picture of detachment.

Absurd. And full of real life.

Fourth Place -- 20 pts

three-day fast

a night loon echoes

my emptiness

Francine Banwarth

(1,4,9) = 20 pts

Best of the litter award.

The phrase is beautiful in this haiku! I especially like the link between sound and mood.

Fifth Place -- 18 pts

fasting

I swallow the morning star

whole

rob scott

(2,3,6) = 18 pts

Sixth Place -- 15 pts

Bagdad street

child sharing bread

with a hungry dog

Terri L. French

(1,6,0) = 15 pts

Seventh Place -- 14 pts

all day fast

a pair of sneakers

by the scale

Roberta Beary

(0,5,4) = 14 pts I like what is shown to support what is stated.

Eighth Place -- 12 pts

famine lengthens...

she adds more water

to the soup

Ruth Powell

(1,2,5) = 12 pts

The famine stretches across time, while the person (who I imagine is a poverty-stricken mother of several children) tries to stretch their meager meal just a little bit further.

Ninth Place -- 11 pts

drought

cattle motionless

in the dust

Allen McGill

(1,3,2) = 11 pts

Wonderful. The whole long and sad story caught in six words. The poet has been there.

midnight hunger

we spoon each other

ice cream

Terry O'Connor

(0,3,5) = 11 pts

bloodwood moon

a starving dingo paces

the rain shadow

Ron Moss

(0,2,7) = 11 pts

Tenth Place -- 10 pts

the darkness meows

again for food

winter night

David Grayson

(0,2,6) = 10 pts

Eleventh Place -- 9 pts

period of fasting…

I tighten my belt again

one more hole

Jacek M.

(0,3,3) = 9 pts

watching the stars...

a hungry boy forgets

to eat his supper

Catherine Njeri Maina

(0,2,5) = 9 pts

fasting

with the buddha ...

today only rain

Ed Schwellenbach

(0,2,5) = 9 pts

Twelfth Place -- 8 pts

starving urchin –

he stumbles upon fasting

holy men

Gautam Nadkarni

(1,1,3) = 8 pts

gibbous moon

the distended belly

of a poster child

Susan Constable

(0,2,4) = 8 pts

Weight Watcher's meeting

we gather for an hour

and talk about food

Harvey Jenkins

(0,1,6) = 8 pts

Great scene, just a bit too overloaded with words.

hunger moon

an auger's whine

out on the ice

tom painting

(0,0,8) = 8 pts

Thirteenth Place -- 7 pts

deer tracks

fill with new snow

hunger moon

Diane Mayr

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

day five fasting

he smells a meal served

on TV

gourdman

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

Great idea. Unfortunately rather prose than poetry in my eyes.

Fourteenth Place -- 6 pts

fasting ends

each kind of berry

its own aroma

Audrey Downey

(1,0,3) = 6 pts

hunger pains the rumble of war memories

Andre Surridge

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

Hunger pains the rumble of war memories poetic yet still haiku; I love this.

fasting day

dad is throwing crumbs

to the pigeons

Boris Nazansky

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

staff meeting -

the first hunger pang

comes with sound

Laurene

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

Fifteenth Place -- 5 pts

11 hours drive

when I finally stop for lunch

mosquitoes

Bruce Ross

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

forty-hour fast –

I sneak a square

of chocolate

Patricia Prime

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

morning bells--

louder, the cry

of a hungry kitten

Nelson

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

Sixteenth Place -- 4 pts

morning hunger -

I choose which blossoms

are put on the altar

Bhalachandra Sahaj

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

the thin teats

of a starving sow

her withered piglet

Garry Eaton

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

defiant, she put

three pennies on the counter

"one egg, please"

miriam chaikin

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

the sadhu –

a wooden bowl

his measure of hunger

Gregg Crow

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

There are unasked questions posed here, it's the kind of haiku that leaves one pondering.

fourth fasting day-

the calm

of a rock garden Buddha

Devika

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

Seventeenth Place -- 3 pts

ending fast-

a glimpse of the moon,

a glimpse of him

DA

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

Love how the word "glimpse" represents the thinness of the man.

at catfish creek

nothing left

but the bones

carol pearce-worthington

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

Thinking about what has happened makes me nervous.

summer drizzle...

a dog jumps out of a trash bin

with a bone

Kameshwar Rao

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

in the beggar's bowl

an autumn wind provides

his tea

Merrill Ann Gonzales

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

If you would remove a few words, I think you would polish this haiku to a nice shine. Perhaps drop everything but "beggars bowl" in the first line, break the second line after wind, and drop "his" in the third. Just a suggestion, and I voted for your haiku just as it is.

going downstairs

to collect the newspaper

the smell of bacon

Marylouise Knight

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

barbecue party

a chat about dieting

in the future tense

Rafal Zabratynski

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

General Comments:

Too bad I had to eliminate a number of good poems because the prescribed words were not actually used as kigo. Even so, it was difficult to select my top three.

Some really nice ones had to be cut because the kigo didn't apply to the correct season.

I see that I'm not the only participant who had difficulty with this kigo. I'd say a lot of our attempts are sentences, laundry lists, or are so obscure they reveal nothing - mine included!

I enjoyed all of the free format haiku..I really wish I could have picked more.

This month's two themes have really spoken to our Kenya haijin. Maize, the staple food of Kenya. Hunger, the current situation of Kenya, after two years of insufficient rain and empty water reservoirs. The Kenya poets have been suffering hunger, and their haiku this month have been written from direct experience. Thank you both for these two great themes!

Wow, both these contests were tough--too many good poems, not enough points to award! Many thanks!

After reading the free format entries, I can see that everyone gave their best efforts there - myself included. I'm having a hard time whittling my list down!

This one was a lot tougher to find the right ones. There are so many excellent ones in here. The triviality of plenty and the many faces of hunger side by side.