June 2007 Kukai

Kigo Theme: 

Father's Day

First Place -- 25 points

Father's Day —

fresh forget-me-nots

on a soldier's grave

Zhanna P. Rader

(4,3,7) = 25 pts

I'm taken back to a father's early loss with this haiku. Lost but still remembered. Expressed so well and succinctly by the choice of flowers on this soldier's grave.

The fresh forget-me-nots suggest handpicked flowers, perhaps by a young person who doesn't have money for a professional wreath...so I found this poem touching because of the memories of my brother's experience in WWII, and my father-in-law's in WWI, reinforced by the nostalgia of the old movies.

Second Place -- 19 points

Father's Day...

a cigar band

on her doll's ponytail

Scott Mason

(1,3,10) = 19 pts

A fresh image, emblematic of the male presence in her life, original and tender.

Third Place -- 15 points

Father's Day

without him . . .

half-moon

w. f. owen

(1,3,6) = 15 pts

I love the evocation of longing with this simple yet powerful image.

father's day —

teaching him to walk

again

sanjukta

(1,1,10) = 15 pts

Very touching. Also evokes his own babyhood.

This deals with a different kind of loss, the vitality and independence of a strong parent. I went through this with my mother a few years ago, and I realize that I may be facing a similar scenario in my own not too distant future. It speaks of compassion for the human condition in the natural changing of seasons.

Fourth Place -- 14 points

father's day

my son calls

from another time zone

tom painting

(0,4,6) = 14 pts

Fifth Place -- 13 points

Father's Day visit

he asks the nurse again

who I am

arkady elterman

(1,4,2) = 13 pts

Poignant and very real.

Father's Day

I carve the cedar log

for his smell

 —Jacek M.

(1,3,4) = 13 pts

Sixth Place -- 12 points

after shave

three deep in the cabinet

 —Father's Day

Paul Hodder

(2,2,2) = 12 pts

A subtle and witty comment on gift giving and a great image.

father's day...

new blossoms cover

the knotty pine

AD

(2,2,2) = 12 pts

A beautiful juxtaposition of images within the phrase that allows many readings: young and old, soft and hard, birth and death, faces and hands, small and large, innocence and...

I like this haiku because the image presented is so vivid and fresh in the here and now while conveying a moving on, a new growth, but not at the expense of what came before.

Father's Day —

fresh brewed coffee dribbles

from a lop-sided mug

-- Karen Cesar

(0,4,4) = 12 pts

father's day

my sister's card

has sparkles

Roberta Beary

(0,2,8) = 12 pts

father's day

just your headstone

. . . and the crow

Kathy Lippard Cobb

(0,2,8) = 12 pts

I love the crow image here.

Striking...its literary allusion to the crow, which is a powerful symbol of death in some cultures. A powerful reminder of lost love, for those of us who have read Edgar Allan Poe. My compliments to the poet for achieving a successful haikai poem, with a haiku mood and the crow of myth and folklore.

Seventh Place -- 11 points

twelve hours

in the heat of a steel mill...

father's day

ed markowski

(1,2,4) = 11 pts

Eighth Place -- 10 points

Father's Day —

and still just

the two of us

Barbara Campitelli 

(0,2,6) = 10 pts

Frustration? Regret? Resignation? Bitterness? Acceptance? A teaser.

dad's gift . . .

she offers the ladybug

on her finger

Carol Raisfeld

(0,1,8) = 10 pts

Ninth Place -- 9 points

Father's Day

a large kite and a small kite

dance on the wind

Meredith Stern Cavalieri

(1,2,2) = 9 pts

father's day —

the infant's hand

wraps around his finger

aom (tim)

(1,1,4) = 9 pts

This has all the requirements of good haiku. Above all, it has a haiku 'moment' and fantastic imagery. I simply love the haiku to distraction!

Tenth Place -- 8 points

I Google

his name...

Father's Day

Josh Wikoff

(0,2,4) = 8 pts

Old longings take ever new forms.

Father’s Day —

scent of tobacco clings

to his empty pouch.

lyn true

(0,2,4) = 8 pts

Father’s Day —

he asks to drive by

the old house

tish davis

(0,1,6) = 8 pts

Eleventh Place -- 7 points

Father's Day —

my youngest son calls me

by my first name

Collin Barber

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

first Father’s Day

the little finger

in the tiny fist

RaV

(0,0,7) = 7 pts

Father’s day

old dog thumps his tail

by the phone

Ruth Powell

((0,0,7) = 7 pts

A wonderful, domestic moment of anticipation/recognition.

Twelfth Place -- 6 points

Father’s Day —

another foggy afternoon

at the nursing home

Nancy Nitrio

(1,0,3) = 6 pts

Nice wordplay on the weather versus the father's mental state.

father's day

we order the meal

with less salt

Kala Ramesh

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

A homely detail, but a telling one.

fathers day —

no longer a son

no longer a father

Michael Flack

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

Poignant. this time last year that my ex-husband, the father of my children, died. He was buried in the same cemetery where his own father rests, beside our son, who died at the age of four.

father’s day —

his shadow walks

next to mine

Neil Muscott

(0,0,6) = 6 pts

Thirteenth Place -- 5 points

smoke gets in my eyes

our Father's Day barbecue

without him again

Garry Gay

(1,1,0) = 5 pts

A powerful haiku about someone remembering but not wanting to show their emotion. It lingers with you.

Dad is still teaching

long after retirement

by the way he lives

Deirdre Godwin

(1,1,0) = 5 pts

first June together

they hand me a Father’s Day card

we’ve started to bond

Harvey Jenkins

(1,0,2) = 5 pts

A feeling we can all celebrate.

Father's Day —

he blows

the last candle

Raquel D. BAILEY

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

Father's Day —

the perfect wind

to fly a kite

Ana Cadarin

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

my regrets

and his

Father's Day

Autumn Moon

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

father's day

to half a biscuit

all alone

Reza Aerabi

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

Father's Day —

he asks us

what's the occasion

Dorota Pyra

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

Father's day

the empty chair

at the table

Sjs

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

Fourteenth Place -- 4 points

Father's Day

just two peas

in the pod

Carolyn Hall

(1,0,1) = 4 pts

Father's Day —

in the receiver my own voice

25 years younger

Gosia Zamorska

(1,0,1) = 4 pts

Father's day present —

a little "grand"

before, Dad!

Tanya Dikova

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

keeping the curfew

in another land....

"Fathers Day"

shanna

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

Fifteenth Place -- 4 points

Father’s Day —

a walk in the orchard

with young apple trees

miorita

(1,0,1) = 4 pts

digging into

a drawer full of memories

Father’s Day

Paul R

(1,0,1) = 4 pts

modern father’s day

young girl makes cards

for both daddies

Elizabeth Fanto

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

his face suddenly wet

during baby’s diaper change

happy father’s day

Mary Davila

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

Father’s Day breakfast

his wife grins his kids giggle

gummy worm pancakes

Edward

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

after he left,

a distant ice cream truck —

Father's Day

Dan Schwerin

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

first rain —

making his dad a paper boat

for Father's' Day

angelee deodhar

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

Father's Day

more roses on

Mom's grave

-- LGD

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

Sixteenth Place -- 3 points

Father's Day

this year no card

only tears

yositaka

(1,0,0) = 3 pts

just forty-one -

and wanting a son

with YOU the father...

Reni

(1,0,0) = 3 pts

sausage for breakfast

just like he made it

Father's Day

Pris Campbell

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

Father's Day

our bare heads brush

in passing

George Hawkins

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

Fathers Day

came and went

summer rain covers gently.

Ashi

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

Father's Day

an annual visit

to the graveyard

Carmel Lively Westerman

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

he tests the milk

still too warm-

first Father's Day

Leslie Montgomery

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

wearing work boots,

he watches her leap onstage—-

Father’s Day

Sherry Weaver Smith

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

Father’s Day

the boy asks for a longer

fishing rod

Petar Tchouhov

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

Father's Day beer —

salt crystals sinking

the way his did

Barbara Snow

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

father's day —

the house where I grew up

now is a bar

il. balan

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

nothing but calls

from cell phones

Father's Day

gourdmad

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

my first father's day —

me kissing

my wife's belly

Lech Szeglowski

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

her two moms

exchange glances :

the Father's Day talk

-- andrea

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

A couple of the entries were like this, a very modern take on the kukai theme, but, in my opinion, the construction of this one is superior.

Father's day —

in a paper wrapping

a pregnancy test

majka

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

That's one way to break it to him gently.

Kigo Section General Comments:

Occasional verse isn't easy, as many a poet laureate has discovered. The best of these, for me, spoke at once of continuity and change: Father's Day comes every year, but each year finds us in a new place.

Free Format Theme:

Baseball

First Place -- 33 pts

the sweeping arch

of the pitcher's curve

summer solstice

tom painting

(2,10,7) = 33 pts

'as above, so below'

Second Place -- 29 pts

home run ~

my two year old cheers

the wrong team

Paul Hodder

(2,4,15) = 29 pts

This haiku illustrates how young children become captured by emotion, but they don't always know why.

Ha ha! I love this one!

Third Place -- 18 pts

the Yankees lost —

his hesitation

to answer the phone

Audrey Downey

(1,6,3) = 18 pts

My father was a bear on Monday if the Yankees lost.

Fourth Place -- 17 pts

night game

the manager's wife tells me

she is a poet

Johnye Strickland

(1,5,4) = 17 pts

Fifth Place -- 16 pts

flashlights ...

trading baseball cards

with my brother

Carol Raisfeld

(1,2,9) = 16 pts

I can tangibly experience the joy of having a brother, even though I don't have one. It is such a great and fleeting moment from childhood. Somehow for me the use of flashlights adds to that fleeting feeling. I like the way that the two parts of the haiku are so connected.

Indian summer

a squirrel runs from third

to second

Scott Mason

(1,1,11) = 16 pts

All the squirrels I've seen on the field have had trouble with the rules.

A perfect Indian Summer poem. The season's over, the word doesn't appear, but it says "baseball."

Sixth Place -- 15 pts

12th inning homer —

i lift the book

off my father's chest

aom (tim)

(1,3,6) = 15 pts

The image of my grandfather so strongly evoked. He never missed a radio broadcast of the games, he also never stayed awake all the way through one.

t-ball practice

a first grader

spits on the ground

Carmel Lively Westerman

(0,4,7) = 15 pts

Seventh Place -- 14 pts

foul ball —

losing it in a sky

full of hands

Collin Barber

(3,1,3) = 14 pts

The surrealism of the commonplace.

Eighth Place -- 13 pts

After the game

Mom washes away

his slide into home

Yositaka

(0,3,7) = 13 pts

Ninth Place -- 12 pts

ninth inning rally...

the jiggling lid

of a boiling kettle

Keiko

(1,2,5) = 12 pts

Tenth Place -- 11 pts

the ball field lights

left on overnight —

autumn rain

Cherie Hunter Day

(0,4,3) = 11 pts

Eleventh Place -- 10 pts

ninth-inning

pigeons assess

the grandstand trash

Barbara Snow

(1,1,5) = 10 pts

Home Run!

The cat also jumps

into the air

Linda Marucci

(0,3,4) = 10 pts

Love the visual.

Twelfth Place -- 9 pts

night at the ballpark

the batter aims

for the stars

arkady elterman

(1,1,4) = 9 pts

A gorgeous image!

5th inning —

after a home run

the full moon

Israel López Balan

(0,3,3) = 9 pts

late night radio

through the static

a surprise homerun

Neil Muscott

(0,0,9) = 9 pts

Before cable TV I used to spend many summer nights trying to listen through the static to games outside my normal radio range. This brought back happy memories.

Thirteenth Place -- 8 pts

box seats...

his hero flips the ball

to the girl beside him

ed markowski

(0,3,2) = 8 pts

no game this weekend

above Yankee stadium

the sky full of stars

Inga D.

(0,3,2) = 8 pts

Fourteenth Place -- 6 pts

the cheerleaders

compare their suntan —

losing team

Angèle Lux

(1,0,3) = 6 pts

spring training —

warm oil rubbed

in the rookie's glove

 —Karen Cesar

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

pop fly . . .

a feather drifts into

the catcher’s mitt

Nancy Smith

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

kids' diamond —

a dog runs home

with the ball

Susan Constable

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

Fifteenth Place -- 5 pts

dusk

game

over

Josh W.

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

baseball diamond

mound of new earth

by the gopher's hole

Marianna Monaco

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

Sixteenth Place -- 4 pts

how I hated it

public humiliation

playing out —outfield

Deirdre Godwin

(1,0,1) = 4 pts

pre-game warm-up —

seagulls shag flies

in the outfield

Mike Montreuil

(0,2,0) = 4 pts

Children on the field

one child is left behind

not the chosen one

Angelika Kolompar Bygott

(0,2,0) = 4 pts

Grand slam...

the smell of hot dogs

and beer

Sjs

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

sudden thunder

a nail through the neck

of the baseball bat

w. f. owen

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

chirping crickets

sharp crack of a bat —

twilight baseball

Leslie Montgomery

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

the right fielder

chews a dandelion stem,

spits it out

P. O. Williams

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

evening star

a long fly ball

in the bottom of the ninth

Beth Powell

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

line drive

the baseball destroys

an anthill

gourdman

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

the safety pin breaks

from the boy’s baseball pants

"you’re out"

Mary Davila

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

after the wave

no one knows how

he got to first

Bill Kenney

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

Seventeenth Place -- 3 pts

Golden Retriever

with a tattered baseball

in his mouth

Garry Gay

(1,0,0) = 3 pts

with nine brothers

and only two sets of gloves

baseball game would begin

Harvey Jenkins

(1,0,0) = 3 pts

can you hear that sound?

the crowd's roar in the ballpark

where there's only wind

--Michael McClintock

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

Matsuyama museum

Shiki's baseball bat

worn at the edges

angelee deodhar

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

career day:

3 strikeouts, 2 errors

1 seat on the bench

-- LGD

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

child lying

under a tree's shade  —

baseball cap in hand

~ Walter Otieno

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

baseball cap

for my brother —

birthday present

~ Joseph Mutavi

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

top of the ninth

a cottonwood seed rises

out of play

Dan Schwerin

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

extra inning

a pesky fly

distracts the batter

RaV

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

Free Format Section General Comments:

These topics were quite a challenge. Thanks.

Although my overall preference is for the poems that convey a sense of the game itself, only one of my choices fits that description--and that one just barely, since it's set in the stands, not on the field. Oh, well, a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

I never realized how fond I was of baseball until I read these entries!

Very hard to write and to vote, for someone from a non baseball playing country!