Congratulations to Zhanna P. Rader, winner of our Kigo section and to Tom Painting, winner of our Free Format section!
June 2007 Results
Kigo Theme:
Father's Day
First Place -- 25 points
Father's Day —
fresh forget-me-nots
on a soldier's grave
Zhanna P. Rader
(4,3,7) = 25 pts
I'm taken back to a father's early loss with this haiku. Lost but still remembered. Expressed so well and succinctly by the choice of flowers on this soldier's grave.
The fresh forget-me-nots suggest handpicked flowers, perhaps by a young person who doesn't have money for a professional wreath...so I found this poem touching because of the memories of my brother's experience in WWII, and my father-in-law's in WWI, reinforced by the nostalgia of the old movies.
Second Place -- 19 points
Father's Day...
a cigar band
on her doll's ponytail
Scott Mason
(1,3,10) = 19 pts
A fresh image, emblematic of the male presence in her life, original and tender.
Third Place -- 15 points
Father's Day
without him . . .
half-moon
w. f. owen
(1,3,6) = 15 pts
I love the evocation of longing with this simple yet powerful image.
father's day —
teaching him to walk
again
sanjukta
(1,1,10) = 15 pts
Very touching. Also evokes his own babyhood.
This deals with a different kind of loss, the vitality and independence of a strong parent. I went through this with my mother a few years ago, and I realize that I may be facing a similar scenario in my own not too distant future. It speaks of compassion for the human condition in the natural changing of seasons.
Fourth Place -- 14 points
father's day
my son calls
from another time zone
tom painting
(0,4,6) = 14 pts
Fifth Place -- 13 points
Father's Day visit
he asks the nurse again
who I am
arkady elterman
(1,4,2) = 13 pts
Poignant and very real.
Father's Day
I carve the cedar log
for his smell
—Jacek M.
(1,3,4) = 13 pts
Sixth Place -- 12 points
after shave
three deep in the cabinet
—Father's Day
Paul Hodder
(2,2,2) = 12 pts
A subtle and witty comment on gift giving and a great image.
father's day...
new blossoms cover
the knotty pine
AD
(2,2,2) = 12 pts
A beautiful juxtaposition of images within the phrase that allows many readings: young and old, soft and hard, birth and death, faces and hands, small and large, innocence and...
I like this haiku because the image presented is so vivid and fresh in the here and now while conveying a moving on, a new growth, but not at the expense of what came before.
Father's Day —
fresh brewed coffee dribbles
from a lop-sided mug
-- Karen Cesar
(0,4,4) = 12 pts
father's day
my sister's card
has sparkles
Roberta Beary
(0,2,8) = 12 pts
father's day
just your headstone
. . . and the crow
Kathy Lippard Cobb
(0,2,8) = 12 pts
I love the crow image here.
Striking...its literary allusion to the crow, which is a powerful symbol of death in some cultures. A powerful reminder of lost love, for those of us who have read Edgar Allan Poe. My compliments to the poet for achieving a successful haikai poem, with a haiku mood and the crow of myth and folklore.
Seventh Place -- 11 points
twelve hours
in the heat of a steel mill...
father's day
ed markowski
(1,2,4) = 11 pts
Eighth Place -- 10 points
Father's Day —
and still just
the two of us
Barbara Campitelli
(0,2,6) = 10 pts
Frustration? Regret? Resignation? Bitterness? Acceptance? A teaser.
dad's gift . . .
she offers the ladybug
on her finger
Carol Raisfeld
(0,1,8) = 10 pts
Ninth Place -- 9 points
Father's Day
a large kite and a small kite
dance on the wind
Meredith Stern Cavalieri
(1,2,2) = 9 pts
father's day —
the infant's hand
wraps around his finger
aom (tim)
(1,1,4) = 9 pts
This has all the requirements of good haiku. Above all, it has a haiku 'moment' and fantastic imagery. I simply love the haiku to distraction!
Tenth Place -- 8 points
I Google
his name...
Father's Day
Josh Wikoff
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
Old longings take ever new forms.
Father’s Day —
scent of tobacco clings
to his empty pouch.
lyn true
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
Father’s Day —
he asks to drive by
the old house
tish davis
(0,1,6) = 8 pts
Eleventh Place -- 7 points
Father's Day —
my youngest son calls me
by my first name
Collin Barber
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
first Father’s Day
the little finger
in the tiny fist
RaV
(0,0,7) = 7 pts
Father’s day
old dog thumps his tail
by the phone
Ruth Powell
((0,0,7) = 7 pts
A wonderful, domestic moment of anticipation/recognition.
Twelfth Place -- 6 points
Father’s Day —
another foggy afternoon
at the nursing home
Nancy Nitrio
(1,0,3) = 6 pts
Nice wordplay on the weather versus the father's mental state.
father's day
we order the meal
with less salt
Kala Ramesh
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
A homely detail, but a telling one.
fathers day —
no longer a son
no longer a father
Michael Flack
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
Poignant. this time last year that my ex-husband, the father of my children, died. He was buried in the same cemetery where his own father rests, beside our son, who died at the age of four.
father’s day —
his shadow walks
next to mine
Neil Muscott
(0,0,6) = 6 pts
Thirteenth Place -- 5 points
smoke gets in my eyes
our Father's Day barbecue
without him again
Garry Gay
(1,1,0) = 5 pts
A powerful haiku about someone remembering but not wanting to show their emotion. It lingers with you.
Dad is still teaching
long after retirement
by the way he lives
Deirdre Godwin
(1,1,0) = 5 pts
first June together
they hand me a Father’s Day card
we’ve started to bond
Harvey Jenkins
(1,0,2) = 5 pts
A feeling we can all celebrate.
Father's Day —
he blows
the last candle
Raquel D. BAILEY
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
Father's Day —
the perfect wind
to fly a kite
Ana Cadarin
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
my regrets
and his
Father's Day
Autumn Moon
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
father's day
to half a biscuit
all alone
Reza Aerabi
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
Father's Day —
he asks us
what's the occasion
Dorota Pyra
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
Father's day
the empty chair
at the table
Sjs
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
Fourteenth Place -- 4 points
Father's Day
just two peas
in the pod
Carolyn Hall
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
Father's Day —
in the receiver my own voice
25 years younger
Gosia Zamorska
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
Father's day present —
a little "grand"
before, Dad!
Tanya Dikova
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
keeping the curfew
in another land....
"Fathers Day"
shanna
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
Fifteenth Place -- 4 points
Father’s Day —
a walk in the orchard
with young apple trees
miorita
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
digging into
a drawer full of memories
Father’s Day
Paul R
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
modern father’s day
young girl makes cards
for both daddies
Elizabeth Fanto
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
his face suddenly wet
during baby’s diaper change
happy father’s day
Mary Davila
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
Father’s Day breakfast
his wife grins his kids giggle
gummy worm pancakes
Edward
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
after he left,
a distant ice cream truck —
Father's Day
Dan Schwerin
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
first rain —
making his dad a paper boat
for Father's' Day
angelee deodhar
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
Father's Day
more roses on
Mom's grave
-- LGD
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
Sixteenth Place -- 3 points
Father's Day
this year no card
only tears
yositaka
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
just forty-one -
and wanting a son
with YOU the father...
Reni
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
sausage for breakfast
just like he made it
Father's Day
Pris Campbell
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
Father's Day
our bare heads brush
in passing
George Hawkins
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
Fathers Day
came and went
summer rain covers gently.
Ashi
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
Father's Day
an annual visit
to the graveyard
Carmel Lively Westerman
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
he tests the milk
still too warm-
first Father's Day
Leslie Montgomery
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
wearing work boots,
he watches her leap onstage—-
Father’s Day
Sherry Weaver Smith
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
Father’s Day
the boy asks for a longer
fishing rod
Petar Tchouhov
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
Father's Day beer —
salt crystals sinking
the way his did
Barbara Snow
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
father's day —
the house where I grew up
now is a bar
il. balan
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
nothing but calls
from cell phones
Father's Day
gourdmad
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
my first father's day —
me kissing
my wife's belly
Lech Szeglowski
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
her two moms
exchange glances :
the Father's Day talk
-- andrea
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
A couple of the entries were like this, a very modern take on the kukai theme, but, in my opinion, the construction of this one is superior.
Father's day —
in a paper wrapping
a pregnancy test
majka
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
That's one way to break it to him gently.
Kigo Section General Comments:
Occasional verse isn't easy, as many a poet laureate has discovered. The best of these, for me, spoke at once of continuity and change: Father's Day comes every year, but each year finds us in a new place.
Free Format Theme:
Baseball
First Place -- 33 pts
the sweeping arch
of the pitcher's curve
summer solstice
tom painting
(2,10,7) = 33 pts
'as above, so below'
Second Place -- 29 pts
home run ~
my two year old cheers
the wrong team
Paul Hodder
(2,4,15) = 29 pts
This haiku illustrates how young children become captured by emotion, but they don't always know why.
Ha ha! I love this one!
Third Place -- 18 pts
the Yankees lost —
his hesitation
to answer the phone
Audrey Downey
(1,6,3) = 18 pts
My father was a bear on Monday if the Yankees lost.
Fourth Place -- 17 pts
night game
the manager's wife tells me
she is a poet
Johnye Strickland
(1,5,4) = 17 pts
Fifth Place -- 16 pts
flashlights ...
trading baseball cards
with my brother
Carol Raisfeld
(1,2,9) = 16 pts
I can tangibly experience the joy of having a brother, even though I don't have one. It is such a great and fleeting moment from childhood. Somehow for me the use of flashlights adds to that fleeting feeling. I like the way that the two parts of the haiku are so connected.
Indian summer
a squirrel runs from third
to second
Scott Mason
(1,1,11) = 16 pts
All the squirrels I've seen on the field have had trouble with the rules.
A perfect Indian Summer poem. The season's over, the word doesn't appear, but it says "baseball."
Sixth Place -- 15 pts
12th inning homer —
i lift the book
off my father's chest
aom (tim)
(1,3,6) = 15 pts
The image of my grandfather so strongly evoked. He never missed a radio broadcast of the games, he also never stayed awake all the way through one.
t-ball practice
a first grader
spits on the ground
Carmel Lively Westerman
(0,4,7) = 15 pts
Seventh Place -- 14 pts
foul ball —
losing it in a sky
full of hands
Collin Barber
(3,1,3) = 14 pts
The surrealism of the commonplace.
Eighth Place -- 13 pts
After the game
Mom washes away
his slide into home
Yositaka
(0,3,7) = 13 pts
Ninth Place -- 12 pts
ninth inning rally...
the jiggling lid
of a boiling kettle
Keiko
(1,2,5) = 12 pts
Tenth Place -- 11 pts
the ball field lights
left on overnight —
autumn rain
Cherie Hunter Day
(0,4,3) = 11 pts
Eleventh Place -- 10 pts
ninth-inning
pigeons assess
the grandstand trash
Barbara Snow
(1,1,5) = 10 pts
Home Run!
The cat also jumps
into the air
Linda Marucci
(0,3,4) = 10 pts
Love the visual.
Twelfth Place -- 9 pts
night at the ballpark
the batter aims
for the stars
arkady elterman
(1,1,4) = 9 pts
A gorgeous image!
5th inning —
after a home run
the full moon
Israel López Balan
(0,3,3) = 9 pts
late night radio
through the static
a surprise homerun
Neil Muscott
(0,0,9) = 9 pts
Before cable TV I used to spend many summer nights trying to listen through the static to games outside my normal radio range. This brought back happy memories.
Thirteenth Place -- 8 pts
box seats...
his hero flips the ball
to the girl beside him
ed markowski
(0,3,2) = 8 pts
no game this weekend
above Yankee stadium
the sky full of stars
Inga D.
(0,3,2) = 8 pts
Fourteenth Place -- 6 pts
the cheerleaders
compare their suntan —
losing team
Angèle Lux
(1,0,3) = 6 pts
spring training —
warm oil rubbed
in the rookie's glove
—Karen Cesar
(0,2,2) = 6 pts
pop fly . . .
a feather drifts into
the catcher’s mitt
Nancy Smith
(0,2,2) = 6 pts
kids' diamond —
a dog runs home
with the ball
Susan Constable
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
Fifteenth Place -- 5 pts
dusk
game
over
Josh W.
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
baseball diamond
mound of new earth
by the gopher's hole
Marianna Monaco
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
Sixteenth Place -- 4 pts
how I hated it
public humiliation
playing out —outfield
Deirdre Godwin
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
pre-game warm-up —
seagulls shag flies
in the outfield
Mike Montreuil
(0,2,0) = 4 pts
Children on the field
one child is left behind
not the chosen one
Angelika Kolompar Bygott
(0,2,0) = 4 pts
Grand slam...
the smell of hot dogs
and beer
Sjs
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
sudden thunder
a nail through the neck
of the baseball bat
w. f. owen
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
chirping crickets
sharp crack of a bat —
twilight baseball
Leslie Montgomery
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
the right fielder
chews a dandelion stem,
spits it out
P. O. Williams
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
evening star
a long fly ball
in the bottom of the ninth
Beth Powell
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
line drive
the baseball destroys
an anthill
gourdman
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
the safety pin breaks
from the boy’s baseball pants
"you’re out"
Mary Davila
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
after the wave
no one knows how
he got to first
Bill Kenney
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
Seventeenth Place -- 3 pts
Golden Retriever
with a tattered baseball
in his mouth
Garry Gay
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
with nine brothers
and only two sets of gloves
baseball game would begin
Harvey Jenkins
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
can you hear that sound?
the crowd's roar in the ballpark
where there's only wind
--Michael McClintock
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
Matsuyama museum
Shiki's baseball bat
worn at the edges
angelee deodhar
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
career day:
3 strikeouts, 2 errors
1 seat on the bench
-- LGD
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
child lying
under a tree's shade —
baseball cap in hand
~ Walter Otieno
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
baseball cap
for my brother —
birthday present
~ Joseph Mutavi
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
top of the ninth
a cottonwood seed rises
out of play
Dan Schwerin
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
extra inning
a pesky fly
distracts the batter
RaV
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
Free Format Section General Comments:
These topics were quite a challenge. Thanks.
Although my overall preference is for the poems that convey a sense of the game itself, only one of my choices fits that description--and that one just barely, since it's set in the stands, not on the field. Oh, well, a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
I never realized how fond I was of baseball until I read these entries!
Very hard to write and to vote, for someone from a non baseball playing country!