Congratulations to Israel Lopez Balan, winner of our Kigo section and to George Hawkins, winner of our Free Format section!
December 2007 Results
Kigo Theme:
Narcissus
First Place -- 20 points
migrating birds -
the waving field
of narcissus
Israel Lopez Balan
(0,5,10) = 20 pts
A lovely image-(the artist)Escher-like.
Second Place -- 19 pts
narcissus . . .
stars turning
to snow
Francine Banwarth
(0,7,5) = 19 pts
Third Place -- 16 pts
into the water,
into itself:
narcissus
josh wikoff
(2,2,6) = 16 pts
...thought it was a clever "reflection" of the original piece. I felt whoever wrote it really twisted the kigo word in a unique way...
new snow . . .
her footprints lead
to the narcissus
Susan Constable
(0,4,8) = 16 pts
15 points
first narcissus . . .
the toddler meets
his baby sister
Carole MacRury
(0,4,7) = 15 pts
14 points
caught in the mirror —
the December moon
and white narcissus
Jill
(2,1,6) = 14 pts
13 points
A narcissus
in her black hair…
first snow
Magdalena Dale
(1,1,8) = 13 pts
12 points
second frost
mother and narcissus
burying both
Bill Hudson
(3,0,3) = 12 pts
in her palm
narcissus bulbs
such yearning
Ruth Powell
(0,5,2) = 12 pts
Good haiku use physical images to evoke feelings. Nice contrast of the open palm and round bulbs; a yearning for what? spring, growth, love?
bright koi glide
below the narcissus
reflections
Rose Marie Stutts, EdD
(0,3,6) = 12 pts
I like the beautiful visuals, the colors of koi and narcissus and the allusion (only) to the myth.
bending down
to sniff the narcissus
thinking about himself
Neil Muscott
(0,3,6) = 12 pts
11 points
by the water
narcissus touches
its reflection
Gosia Zamorska
(1,3,2) = 11 pts
10 points
the northern star
and the sun hibernating
in a narcissus
Anne Lind
(1,2,3) = 10 pts
paper narcissus —
morning light shines through
one petal
Marylouise Knight
(0,3,4) = 10 pts
my gift
of forced narcissus . . .
waiting for your smile
Bill Kenney
(0,1,8) = 10 pts
9 points
old photo —
grandmother in the garden
surrounded by narcissus
Ivana Vanja Nikovic
(1,2,2) = 9 pts
lost
in the snowdrift
a narcissus
Vasile Moldovan
(1,1,4) = 9 pts
kindergarten
budding narcissus
line the windowsill
tom painting
(0,2,5) = 9 pts
winter's longest night —
sweet narcissus
keeping her company
Leslie Montgomery
(0,1,7) = 9 pts
8 points
reflected
in the rain puddle
narcissus
Bridget Cougar
(1,1,3) = 8 pts
a wild narcissus!
the lingering excitement
in the echo's voice
Zhanna P. Rader
(0,3,2) = 8 pts
self-portrait:
in the hand of a girl
a white narcissus
Don Basilio
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
reflecting pool
double blooms of narcissus
above the mist
andrea
(0,1,6) = 8 pts
7 points
winter chill . . .
she plants narcissus
in a festive red pot
Carol Raisfeld*
(0,3,1) = 7 pts
in winter darkness
just for the scent of it —
forced narcissus
Mary Lee McClure
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
narcissus in bloom
he tilts his Santa hat
and winks at himself
Catherine J.S. Lee
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
A fresh playful take on being a little too full of one’s self.
6 points
narcissus
on the catalog’s cover —
my red fingernails
Ami
(1,1,1) = 6 pts
I like the subtle story here: her catalogue is wishful thinking, her painted nails do not garden.
winter sun —
on fading narcissus
the last rays
Jordi Climent
(0,2,2) = 6 pts
second date
narcissus bulb
germinates
Polona
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
5 points
three weeks later
six narcissus bulbs
still in the sack
soji
(1,0,2) = 5 pts
snow thaw —
first bended narcissus
lifts its head
Tom Maretic
(1,0,2) = 5 pts
lake echoes...
the ecstasy of
a narcissus touch
Rita Odeh
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
ice drops on
the narcissus bloom
the cat sleeping by the fire
Sjs (Stevie)
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
gone like her
the narcissus painting
in the gallery window
john tiong chunghoo
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
narcissus
in yellowed herbarium
just the name
Dorota Pyra
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
nightfall
the persistent yellow
of narcissus blossoms
ed markowski
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
a distant voice...
narcissus bulbs lie
beneath the birdbath
Laurene
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
sunny spell
he buys a narcissus
for himself
Petar Tchouhov
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
rimy windowpane
in the breath of hot tea
painted narcissus
Boris Nazansky
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
bent narcissus —
how many bloom
with faces hidden
George Hawkins
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
4 points
Easter drizzle
the faded narcissuses
raise their heads
Jacek M.
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
on stage
young ballerinas' first dance ~
a narcissus blooms
tish davis
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
My experience also, children dancing ballet can resemble flowers.
between narcissus
and the snow
frost blossoms
Ann K. Schwader
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
metrosexual...
his window, the reflection
of a narcissus
Ed S
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
narcissus
somehow draped
with tinsel
Beth Powell
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
wind blown
making a snow angel
a narcissus
Terra Martin
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
window frost
the white narcissus opens
for Christmas
Irene Golas
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
3 points
another gray day
narcissus bulbs dormant
under mounds of snow
Jeanne Jorgensen
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
mid-day sun
melting the ice
Narcissus weeps
Pris Campbell
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
the water mirror
leaves Autumn to Narcissus
—our barren Cedar
Jared Kubokawa, ALT Ehime-ken
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
Broken,
white narcissus —
she never arrives
krin
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
nursery class —
the girl sings to
a narcissus
Charishma Ramchandani
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
narcissus
a bee clambers
into its trumpet
RaV
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
GENERAL COMMENTS:
Narcissi produced some fine poems. They seem so naturally poetic, so white, so out of season (so to speak), so fragrant.
What a gift, to get to read so many fine & fun haiku - thank you!
Free Format Theme:
Cheese
First Place -- 31 pts
waning year
the cheese ball
changes shape
George Hawkins
(1,9,10) = 31 pts
Second Place -- 27 pts
winter moon
i carve a wedge
of camembert
Beth Powell
(0,6,15) = 27 pts
A wonderful and stark comparison.
Third Place -- 23 pts
divorce over —
she changes the cheese
in the mousetrap
Petar Tchouhov
(2,4,9) = 23 pts
Good use of ambiguity, what mouse is she trying to catch?
21 points
snowbound . . .
paring the mold
off an old cheese
Carole MacRury
(2,2,11) = 21 pts
18 points
moon shadow
the little gray mouse
edges toward the cheese
Ben Gieske
(1,1,13) = 18 pts
17 points
Oh Moon! Why must you
look like a cheddar wheel
when I'm fasting?
Rose Marie Stutts, EdD
(2,3,5) = 17 pts
Humorously expands on the moon as cheese metaphor.
15 points
Trappist cheese
the farm resonates
in silent prayers
Audrey Downey
(2,2,5) = 15 pts
This haiku has great depth. I love the contrast between "resonates" and "silent". Beautiful!
deep winter:
the golden crust of cheese
on onion soup
Irene Golas
(2,1,7) = 15 pts
winter night —
we share cheesecake
between kisses
Ivana Vanja Nikovic
(1,2,8) = 15 pts
bridal shower —
the cheese tray
sweats a little
aom (tim)
(0,4,7) = 15 pts
14 points
crumbling the Roquefort
. . . it was just
a small white lie
Francine Banwarth
(0,4,6) = 14 pts
What a clever, ironic haiku!
13 points
unexpected guests
I serve them wine with cheese
bought for mousetraps
Karen Briggs
(1,1,8) = 13 pts
12 points
school lunch
the processed cheese
stands alone
tom painting
(0,1,10) = 12 pts
11 points
grated parmesan
on the spaghetti —
he loosens his tie
Alice Frampton
((0,3,5) = 11 pts
9 points
rising full moon —
my son wants holes in cheese
for supper
Gosia Zamorska
(0,3,3) = 9 pts
7 points
a bit of cheesecake
this holiday eve
short red skirt
Pris Campbell
(1,2,0) = 7 pts
Nice word play on cheesecake, simple, vivid image.
surprise blizzard
she grates Asiago
for leftover pasta
Catherine J.S. Lee
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
faculty pot luck
the chemistry teacher adds
a can of string cheese
ed markowski
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
last shovelful of snow —
a grilled cheese sandwich
and tomato soup
Laurene
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
6 points
twilight reflection —
a wheel of Gouda cheese
caught in the wine glass
Marylouise Knight
(0,2,2) = 6pts
snowflakes
on our Christmas table —
parmesan
Dejan Pavlinovic
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
supper gong
from room to room
the smell of cheddar
Jacek M.
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
wedding photo —
we were so happy
saying "cheese"
Gabriel Sawicki
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
5 points
Three brown mice
caught red-handed on my Stilton Blue
A real Fromage a Trois
Jon Espen Vassbotn
(1,1,0) = 5 pts
wintry mix
sprinkling parmesan
over the stew
Bill Kenney
(1,0,2) = 5 pts
eating cheese —
later a cow moos
deep inside me
Neil Muscott
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
love confession —
how quick cheese melts
on the pizza..!
Rita
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
behind the camera
I say ‘Camembert’
my son’s smile
Cherie Hunter Day
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
St. Nicholas...
she feeds her pet mouse
a cheese cube
Ella Wagemakers
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
4 points
candlelight dinner in Rome
her lover's sexy accent —
"mozzarella"
Leslie Montgomery
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
cheese
foreign
like swiss
john tiong chunghoo
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
contented cows
grazing in the field —
California cheese
Nancy Nitrio
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
birthday party
hot mozzarella pizza
strings across the table
Carmel Lively Westerman
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
fireside chat —
the warm afterglow
of our raclette
Isabelle Prondzynski
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
class photo
the cheese on each face
so fresh
RaV
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
3 points
ignoring the trap
until we put in french cheese —
gourmet mouse
Marlène Buitelaar
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
Idle afternoon —
the grass sprinkled with
feta crumbs
krin
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
first snow
a tub of fromage blanc
full of white
Dorota Pyra
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
getting healthy —
one cheeseburger
instead of two
Carol Raisfeld
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
not a crumb
of Stilton left —
New Year's
Ann K. Schwader
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
cheese hors d'oeuvres
the family portrait
on the wall
Sjs (Stevie)
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
After Christmas dinner
strong scent of Denmark
with the Port
Angelika Kolompar Bygott
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
In an Italian park
a Gipsy boy eating
Dutch cheese
Don Basilio
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
socks taken off —
this spreading smell
of Gorgonzola
Tom Maretic
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
today's special ~
limburger wedge
on a mousetrap
Ed S
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
snow day —
cubes of cheddar cheese
in hot tomato soup
DeVar
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
GENERAL COMMENTS:
Cheese seems more of a source of metaphor than I had realized--as well as humor. No one, thank goodness, though, wrote about the moon made of green cheese.