December 2007 Kukai

Kigo Theme:

Narcissus

First Place -- 20 points

migrating birds -

the waving field

of narcissus

Israel Lopez Balan

(0,5,10) = 20 pts

A lovely image-(the artist)Escher-like.

Second Place -- 19 pts

narcissus . . .

stars turning

to snow

Francine Banwarth

(0,7,5) = 19 pts

Third Place -- 16 pts

into the water,

into itself:

narcissus

josh wikoff

(2,2,6) = 16 pts

...thought it was a clever "reflection" of the original piece. I felt whoever wrote it really twisted the kigo word in a unique way...

new snow . . .

her footprints lead

to the narcissus

Susan Constable

(0,4,8) = 16 pts

15 points

first narcissus . . .

the toddler meets

his baby sister

Carole MacRury

(0,4,7) = 15 pts

14 points

caught in the mirror —

the December moon

and white narcissus

Jill

(2,1,6) = 14 pts

13 points

A narcissus

in her black hair…

first snow

Magdalena Dale

(1,1,8) = 13 pts

12 points

second frost

mother and narcissus

burying both

Bill Hudson

(3,0,3) = 12 pts

in her palm

narcissus bulbs

such yearning

Ruth Powell

(0,5,2) = 12 pts

Good haiku use physical images to evoke feelings. Nice contrast of the open palm and round bulbs; a yearning for what? spring, growth, love?

bright koi glide

below the narcissus

reflections

Rose Marie Stutts, EdD

(0,3,6) = 12 pts

I like the beautiful visuals, the colors of koi and narcissus and the allusion (only) to the myth.

bending down

to sniff the narcissus

thinking about himself

Neil Muscott

(0,3,6) = 12 pts

11 points

by the water

narcissus touches

its reflection

Gosia Zamorska

(1,3,2) = 11 pts

10 points

the northern star

and the sun hibernating

in a narcissus

Anne Lind

(1,2,3) = 10 pts

paper narcissus —

morning light shines through

one petal

Marylouise Knight

(0,3,4) = 10 pts

my gift

of forced narcissus . . .

waiting for your smile

Bill Kenney

(0,1,8) = 10 pts

9 points

old photo —

grandmother in the garden

surrounded by narcissus

Ivana Vanja Nikovic

(1,2,2) = 9 pts

lost

in the snowdrift

a narcissus

Vasile Moldovan

(1,1,4) = 9 pts

kindergarten

budding narcissus

line the windowsill

tom painting

(0,2,5) = 9 pts

winter's longest night —

sweet narcissus

keeping her company

Leslie Montgomery

(0,1,7) = 9 pts

8 points

reflected

in the rain puddle

narcissus

Bridget Cougar

(1,1,3) = 8 pts

a wild narcissus!

the lingering excitement

in the echo's voice

Zhanna P. Rader

(0,3,2) = 8 pts

self-portrait:

in the hand of a girl

a white narcissus

Don Basilio

(0,2,4) = 8 pts

reflecting pool

double blooms of narcissus

above the mist

andrea

(0,1,6) = 8 pts

7 points

winter chill . . .

she plants narcissus

in a festive red pot

Carol Raisfeld*

(0,3,1) = 7 pts

in winter darkness

just for the scent of it —

forced narcissus

Mary Lee McClure

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

narcissus in bloom

he tilts his Santa hat

and winks at himself

Catherine J.S. Lee

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

A fresh playful take on being a little too full of one’s self.

6 points

narcissus

on the catalog’s cover —

my red fingernails

Ami

(1,1,1) = 6 pts

I like the subtle story here: her catalogue is wishful thinking, her painted nails do not garden.

winter sun —

on fading narcissus

the last rays

Jordi Climent

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

second date

narcissus bulb

germinates

Polona

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

5 points

three weeks later

six narcissus bulbs

still in the sack

soji

(1,0,2) = 5 pts

snow thaw —

first bended narcissus

lifts its head

Tom Maretic

(1,0,2) = 5 pts

lake echoes...

the ecstasy of

a narcissus touch

Rita Odeh

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

ice drops on

the narcissus bloom

the cat sleeping by the fire

Sjs (Stevie)

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

gone like her

the narcissus painting

in the gallery window

john tiong chunghoo

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

narcissus

in yellowed herbarium

just the name

Dorota Pyra

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

nightfall

the persistent yellow

of narcissus blossoms

ed markowski

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

a distant voice...

narcissus bulbs lie

beneath the birdbath

Laurene

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

sunny spell

he buys a narcissus

for himself

Petar Tchouhov

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

rimy windowpane

in the breath of hot tea

painted narcissus

Boris Nazansky

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

bent narcissus —

how many bloom

with faces hidden

George Hawkins

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

4 points

Easter drizzle

the faded narcissuses

raise their heads

Jacek M.

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

on stage

young ballerinas' first dance ~

a narcissus blooms

tish davis

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

My experience also, children dancing ballet can resemble flowers.

between narcissus

and the snow

frost blossoms

Ann K. Schwader

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

metrosexual...

his window, the reflection

of a narcissus

Ed S

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

narcissus

somehow draped

with tinsel

Beth Powell

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

wind blown

making a snow angel

a narcissus

Terra Martin

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

window frost

the white narcissus opens

for Christmas

Irene Golas

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

3 points

another gray day

narcissus bulbs dormant

under mounds of snow

Jeanne Jorgensen

(1,0,0) = 3 pts

mid-day sun

melting the ice

Narcissus weeps

Pris Campbell

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

the water mirror

leaves Autumn to Narcissus

 —our barren Cedar

Jared Kubokawa, ALT Ehime-ken

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

Broken,

white narcissus —

she never arrives

krin

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

nursery class —

the girl sings to

a narcissus

Charishma Ramchandani

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

narcissus

a bee clambers

into its trumpet

RaV

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

GENERAL COMMENTS:

Narcissi produced some fine poems. They seem so naturally poetic, so white, so out of season (so to speak), so fragrant.

What a gift, to get to read so many fine & fun haiku - thank you!

Free Format Theme:

Cheese

First Place -- 31 pts

waning year

the cheese ball

changes shape

George Hawkins

(1,9,10) = 31 pts

Second Place -- 27 pts

winter moon

i carve a wedge

of camembert

Beth Powell

(0,6,15) = 27 pts

A wonderful and stark comparison.

Third Place -- 23 pts

divorce over —

she changes the cheese

in the mousetrap

Petar Tchouhov

(2,4,9) = 23 pts

Good use of ambiguity, what mouse is she trying to catch?

21 points

snowbound . . .

paring the mold

off an old cheese

Carole MacRury

(2,2,11) = 21 pts

18 points

moon shadow

the little gray mouse

edges toward the cheese

Ben Gieske

(1,1,13) = 18 pts

17 points

Oh Moon! Why must you

look like a cheddar wheel

when I'm fasting?

Rose Marie Stutts, EdD

(2,3,5) = 17 pts

Humorously expands on the moon as cheese metaphor.

15 points

Trappist cheese

the farm resonates

in silent prayers

Audrey Downey

(2,2,5) = 15 pts

This haiku has great depth. I love the contrast between "resonates" and "silent". Beautiful!

deep winter:

the golden crust of cheese

on onion soup

Irene Golas

(2,1,7) = 15 pts

winter night —

we share cheesecake

between kisses

Ivana Vanja Nikovic

(1,2,8) = 15 pts

bridal shower —

the cheese tray

sweats a little

aom (tim)

(0,4,7) = 15 pts

14 points

crumbling the Roquefort

. . . it was just

a small white lie

Francine Banwarth

(0,4,6) = 14 pts

What a clever, ironic haiku!

13 points

unexpected guests

I serve them wine with cheese

bought for mousetraps

Karen Briggs

(1,1,8) = 13 pts

12 points

school lunch

the processed cheese

stands alone

tom painting

(0,1,10) = 12 pts

11 points

grated parmesan

on the spaghetti —

he loosens his tie

Alice Frampton

((0,3,5) = 11 pts

9 points

rising full moon —

my son wants holes in cheese

for supper

Gosia Zamorska

(0,3,3) = 9 pts

7 points

a bit of cheesecake

this holiday eve

short red skirt

Pris Campbell

(1,2,0) = 7 pts

Nice word play on cheesecake, simple, vivid image.

surprise blizzard

she grates Asiago

for leftover pasta

Catherine J.S. Lee

(0,2,3) = 7 pts

faculty pot luck

the chemistry teacher adds

a can of string cheese

ed markowski

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

last shovelful of snow —

a grilled cheese sandwich

and tomato soup

Laurene

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

6 points

twilight reflection —

a wheel of Gouda cheese

caught in the wine glass

Marylouise Knight

(0,2,2) = 6pts

snowflakes

on our Christmas table —

parmesan

Dejan Pavlinovic

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

supper gong

from room to room

the smell of cheddar

Jacek M.

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

wedding photo —

we were so happy

saying "cheese"

Gabriel Sawicki

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

5 points

Three brown mice

caught red-handed on my Stilton Blue

A real Fromage a Trois

Jon Espen Vassbotn

(1,1,0) = 5 pts

wintry mix

sprinkling parmesan

over the stew

Bill Kenney

(1,0,2) = 5 pts

eating cheese —

later a cow moos

deep inside me

Neil Muscott

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

love confession —

how quick cheese melts

on the pizza..!

Rita

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

behind the camera

I say ‘Camembert’

my son’s smile

Cherie Hunter Day

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

St. Nicholas...

she feeds her pet mouse

a cheese cube

Ella Wagemakers

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

4 points

candlelight dinner in Rome

her lover's sexy accent —

"mozzarella"

Leslie Montgomery

(1,0,1) = 4 pts

cheese

foreign

like swiss

john tiong chunghoo

(1,0,1) = 4 pts

contented cows

grazing in the field —

California cheese

Nancy Nitrio

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

birthday party

hot mozzarella pizza

strings across the table

Carmel Lively Westerman

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

fireside chat —

the warm afterglow

of our raclette

Isabelle Prondzynski

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

class photo

the cheese on each face

so fresh

RaV

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

3 points

ignoring the trap

until we put in french cheese —

gourmet mouse

Marlène Buitelaar

(1,0,0) = 3 pts

Idle afternoon —

the grass sprinkled with

feta crumbs

krin

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

first snow

a tub of fromage blanc

full of white

Dorota Pyra

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

getting healthy —

one cheeseburger

instead of two

Carol Raisfeld

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

not a crumb

of Stilton left —

New Year's

Ann K. Schwader

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

cheese hors d'oeuvres

the family portrait

on the wall

Sjs (Stevie)

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

After Christmas dinner

strong scent of Denmark

with the Port

Angelika Kolompar Bygott

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

In an Italian park

a Gipsy boy eating

Dutch cheese

Don Basilio

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

socks taken off —

this spreading smell

of Gorgonzola

Tom Maretic

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

today's special ~

limburger wedge

on a mousetrap

Ed S

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

snow day —

cubes of cheddar cheese

in hot tomato soup

DeVar

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

GENERAL COMMENTS:

Cheese seems more of a source of metaphor than I had realized--as well as humor. No one, thank goodness, though, wrote about the moon made of green cheese.