June 2009 Kukai

Kigo Theme: 

Graduation

First Place — Thirty-four Points

graduation day

her mother and I

test our civility

tom painting

(3,7,11) = 34 pts

The interconnected different aspects of life are merged in the common events of everyday life; graduating from school and commencing on new life relationships. Two wonderful occasion merged.

Second Place — Twenty Points

graduation cheer

a flock of starlings

takes the sky

Terry O'Connor

(1,2,13) = 20 pts

I like the implied image of the students taking flight, en masse, as well as the starlings. Nice play on 'starlings', too.

Third Place — Nineteen Points

graduation day

dandelion seeds

on the wind

frederick c gier

(0,4,11) = 19 pts

Like the dandelions, the graduates will undoubtedly travel far from their common starting point. Of course, we'll hope that they bring more joy and value to the world than dandelions do!

Fourth Place—Seventeen Points

graduation day—

their daughter's name

mispronounced

Bill Kenney

(0,4,9) = 17 pts

Fifth Place—Fifteen Points

graduation day

dogs present handlers

for diplomas

Rose Marie Stutts

(1,5,2) = 15 pts

graduation day

mom and stepmom

sitting side by side

Renee Owen

(1,2,8) = 15 pts

Sixth Place—Fourteen Points

graduation—

spiked heels sinking

into the grass

Penny Harter

(1,2,7) = 14 pts

A picture that speaks to almost all my senses — a clear favourite of mine here! This haiku shows keen observation.

Talk about being brought down to earth!

graduation photo

half a century later

her eyes unchanged

Meredith Cavalieri

(0,5,4) = 14 pts

Seventh Place—Thirteen Points

graduation day...

dogs of various sizes

sit and stay

Elinor Pihl Huggett

(0,3,7) = 13 pts

Eighth Place—Eleven Points

a newborn

asleep at the breast—

graduation day

Ron Moss

(0,3,5) = 11 pts

fallen birch leaves

in the graduation photo

we all look the same

Beverley George

(0,2,7) = 11 pts

L2 provides a natural pivot and the last line is amusing, yet carries the ring of truth.

Ninth Place—Ten Points

country school bleachers

the scent of alfalfa

at graduation

soji

(0,4,2) = 10 pts

Tenth Place—Nine Points

at graduation

all the flowers

in full bloom

Ben Gieske

(1,0,6) = 9 pts

Eleventh Place—Eight Points

caterpillar

taking its graduation—

high-grade butterfly

Virginia Popescu

(2,0,2) = 8 pts

graduation

remembering her first steps

magna cum laude

Horst Ludwig

(0,4,0) = 8 pts

Twelfth Place—Seven Points

graduation

the spaghetti strap

slips off her shoulder

Beth Powell

(1,2,0) = 7 pts

I remember how the spaghetti strap slipped off her shoulder, not quite a half-century ago.

One of those moments that are absolutely trivial, unless you happen to be the one involved. There is nothing unkind in the humor here.

graduation day

wild roses

ablossom

Alan S. Bridges

(1,1,2) = 7 pts

graduation . . .

the speaker's wisdom

blown away

Bill Pauly

(0,3,1) = 7 pts

Graduation—

students and their tassels

seeking direction

Shelley Krause

(0,2,3) = 7 pts

Pick of the litter.

graduation day

the valedictorian's

ragged running shoes

ed markowski

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

Graduation Day—

mother picks off

a dandelion parachute

Ralf Broker

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

baby bird

spreads her wings...

graduation day

A. Dharma Bum

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

graduation . . .

the valedictorian shares

her lip gloss

Francine Banwarth

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

The feminine pronoun is, happily, no longer unexpected, but the "lip gloss" is a nice twist.

stuck in the

revolving doors

graduation day

Elena Naskova

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

peonies

bloom overnight—

graduation

Marylouise Knight

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

Simple, yet effective . . . the graduates blooming as they complete their program. Let's hope their bloom time, however, lasts longer than the peonies'!

kindergarten graduation

the empty bird's nest

above the doorway

Sjs Stevie

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

Thirteenth Place—Six Points

Graduation time

little bird shows its parents—

how well it observed

Jenn McSweeney

(1,1,1) = 6 pts

the transgender boy

flips her tassel right to left—

graduation morning

Bruce H. Feingold

(1,1,1) = 6 pts

graduation—

nothing beneath

his gown

Lex Joy

(1,0,3) = 6 pts

graduation day,

our daughter somebody else's

brown-eyed girl

Robert Ertman

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

This haiku tells readers immediately multiple meanings of graduation—a true commencement is recognized here. The voices of the haiku tell readers that the students, the parents and the future off-spring of the graduating couple are totally involved in on-going and developing relationships. What a positive expression of live is revealed in these powerful images. Great tenderness emanates from the haiku.

graduation day ::

catalpa blossoms

litter the lawn

timothy russell

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

red wings

for the caterpillar . . .

graduation day

Mary Davila

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

beneath the class clown's

graduation robe—

purple sneakers

Terri L. French

(0,0,6) = 6 pts

Fourteenth Place—Five Points

graduation

now the world

is school

Bill Gottlieb

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

sleeping

after graduation—

dreams of cotton in the wind

Bhalachandra

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

graduation –

the toast of champagne

for a hawker’s son

Gautam Nadkarni

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

A subtle haiku that makes a point, without being preachy.

graduation day—

flaunting

her diamond ring

Carolyn Coit Dancy

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

a peace dove

soils the soldier's cap

at graduation

Barbara A Taylor

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

graduation day

the long awaited peonies

making a statement

Audrey Downey

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

graduation day

removing the training wheels

from her bicycle

Tom Genovese

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

tough graduation

the swallow's first flight

and the air is full of hats

Jon Espen Vassbotn

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

only eighteen . . .

her graduation photo

in front of the altar

Susan Constable

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

a degree of mischief

in the black squirrel's stare

graduation day

Jennifer Corpe

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

Fifteenth Place—Four Points

parting messages

through the microphone

graduation day

gillena

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

last cherry blossom

my graduation photo

shows a weary smile

Harvey Jenkins

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

fallen mortarboard

a cygnet tilts its head

at the yellow tassel

Nancy Smith

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

damp eyed

through graduation—

hay fever

andrea

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

graduation—

he adjusts again

the sails

Nelson

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

So many images are forward looking—the ideal of graduation and setting sails for a course are wonderfully compatible; this haiku is forward looking and innovative.

graduation day—

over his gown a Maori

wears a feathered cloak

Patricia Prime (NZ)

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

In this haiku two ancient cultures collide—the aboriginal Maori of civilization of New Zealand and the medieval university system of Europe are meshed images; the irony of juxtaposition makes many apt social comparisons.

graduation dance

the school principal starts

a conga line

Garry Eaton

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

Sixteenth Place—Three Points

first day of college

admiring the caps and gowns

the new graduates

bre

(1,0,0) = 3 pts

thinking caps in flight

jubilant graduates cheer

high expectations

Lorraine Marguerite Gasrel Black

(1,0,0) = 3 pts

mortarboards

on the college roof

graduation day

Andre Surridge

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

into the future

in medieval cap and gown

graduation

Elaine Riddell

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

hat toss celebration—

a dragonfly caught

at a graduation ceremony

Daniela Bullas

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

graduation day...

our daughter's scent

still in my memory

_kala

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

graduation day –

remembering only

smiles and tears

Tomislav M.

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

salmon run

old schoolmates return

for graduation

Darrell

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

An apt juxtaposition.

General Comments:

I preferred those that found something fresh in the most familiar meaning of "graduation" to those that sought clever ways to avoid it.

Once again I don't feel this topic was very evocative. It would have been somewhat better if calling for 'anything suggesting graduation' rather than the exact use of that word. Exact words always make for soporific reading during the voting phase.

Once again it was really hard for me to pick them and I wish I could have been able to pick more to win.

I went back to studying after 20 years and I’m graduating in two weeks - our winter here in South Africa - so this topic is very apt!

Free Format Theme:

Wood

First Place — Twenty-Eight Points

boatshop

bending the fir

to fit the waves

Beth Powell

(3,4,11) = 28 pts

Human industry guided by knowledge of–and, I'd say, reverence for–nature. I'm not the nautical type, but this makes me feel the shape of the boat and the force of the waves.

What a lovely way to think about the shape of a hull! Nice alliteration and rhythm, too.

Second Place — Twenty-Six Points

spring fog

only the rhythm of wooden boats

knocking together

Kate Creighton

(1,3,17) = 26 pts

hauling firewood—

the wheelbarrow and I

both wobbly

Terri L. French

(0,7,12) = 26 pts

Wow. There is an intense network of connection between these images; just as the collector of the firewood and the wheelbarrow "wobble" so too does the flame as it burns in various stages. The 3 respective "wobbles" in this haiku vibrate with life giving energy.

I like the subtle humour that arises from truth and that brings a smile of recognition. Unfortunately, I can relate almost too easily to this!

Third Place — Twenty-One Points

short days

the old woodcarver

goes with the grain

tom painting

(0,3,15) = 21 pts

Would that we all learn to live our lives this way, instead of fighting every little thing that comes along. Lovely on both the literal and metaphorical level.

Fourth Place — Twenty Points

tracing the knot

in the wooden pew

~ Grandad's funeral

Paul Hodder

(1,4,9) = 20 pts

It seems that we often look for distractions in our moments of grief. Well worded, without a hint of sentimentality.

Fifth Place — Seventeen Points

pregnancy test -

a wooden Indian

offers cigars

Laurene

(2,3,5) = 17 pts

Sixth Place — Fifteen Points

a plain pine box containing a complicated man

Sjs

(0,3,9) = 15 pts

bamboo curtains

if only I could roll up

my thoughts. . .

_kala

(0,2,11) = 15 pts

Seventh Place — Thirteen Points

maple in rain—

the sweet curves

of the violin

Nelson

(0,3,7) = 13 pts

waiting for news—

polishing, again,

his walnut desk

Bridget Cougar

(0,2,9) = 13 pts

The depth of reflection in highly polished walnut wood compliments the image of expectations in "waiting for news". The mystery of what kind of news is wonderfully withheld and allows the readers to freely speculate according their own mindsets at the moment of reading. There is a fine open-ended moment of reflection in this well wrought haiku.

the old teak bowl

has outlasted her marriage —

fresh salad greens

andrea

(0,1,11) = 13 pts

I felt that! Very moving!

A perfect fusion of pathos and humor, avoiding any trace of cynicism. This leaves a good taste in the spirit.

Eighth Place — Eleven Points

In a circle—

the sound of earth

on wood

Ralf Broker

(1,3,2) = 11 pts

under the

giant sequoia... the sky

further than ever

Elena Naskova

(0,1,9) = 11 pts

Ninth Place — Ten Points

from an ancient piece

of swamp cedar the sculptor

releases a frog

Andre Surridge

(0,4,2) = 10 pts

Interesting play on Michelangelo's statement concerning his sculpture of David, "I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free."

Tenth Place — Nine Points

midsummer night –

fireflies on the growth rings

of our garden table

Daniela Bullas, UK

(0,3,3) = 9 pts

alone in the woods

I say "i'm sorry"

after each fart

Jacek M.

(0,2,5) = 9 pts

Eleventh Place — Eight Points

acorns—

the tree my

father planted

Robert Ertman

(0,2,4) = 8 pts

So understated and profound that I missed it completely on my first time through the list. The line ending on "my" remains a blemish, however.

handling chopsticks-

I become hungrier

and hungrier

Barbara Campitelli

(0,1,6) = 8 pts

Amusing.

summer nights

the smell of mesquite smoke

in her hair

frederick c gier

(0,1,6) = 8 pts

Through the use of scent his haiku evokes memories of campfire gatherings—of sitting in a close knit group, gazing into an intense fire and watching the spirits of the wood freely escape into the atmosphere becoming one with the natural elements; the cyclic rhythms of life forces vibrate through this haiku.

Twelfth Place — Seven Points

pine smoke—

the toasted skin slides

off a marshmallow

DeVar

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

Thirteenth Place — Six Points

nine sacred woods

laying the bonfire

on Beltane eve

bre

(1,0,3) = 6 pts

sunset –

a dragonfly rests

at the dry stick

Miorita

(1,0,3) = 6 pts

moon through the woods

the light draws

us in

Francine Banwarth

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

chimney swept...

a spider carried in

with the wood

Diane Mayr

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

Fourteenth Place — Five Points

cutting trees

with every strike

leaves tremble

Mariusz O.

(1,1,0) = 5 pts

reflecting pond

the decomposing

driftwood

ed markowski

(1,0,2) = 5 pts

wooden corals-

on a woman's neck

the weight of years

Iga

(1,0,2) = 5 pts

beachcomber

he settles on a piece

of driftwood

Susan Constable

(1,0,2) = 5 pts

forgetting

the name of . . .

the Gingko tree

Donna Bauerly

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

Their names faded

in the recesses of bark-

on the old oak tree

Jenn McSweeney

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

grandfather's oak clock

I hear the passage of time

in the living-room

Harvey Jenkins

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

the crackle

of an applewood fire . . .

summer rain

Catherine J.S. Lee

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

Water...fire...and air unite in this powerful haiku, providing a fundamental feeling of well-being, a uniting of elemental forces.

Fifteenth Place — Four Points

oak, ash, elder, thorn

the old ways still have power

in mankind's autumn

Deirdre Godwin

(1,0,1) = 4 pts

I enjoy the archetypal elements in this one.

the scent of pine

whittling the symbols

on the dreidel

ARW

(1,0,1) = 4 pts

hot cross buns —

a hint of wood texture

in the pale cross

~ Isabelle Prondzynski

(0,2,0) = 4 pts

No decisions yet;

Can't see the wood for trees...

But I won't give up

Tanja Cilia

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

a maple ablaze

over the wooden cross-

ten years after...

natalia kuznetsova

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

a splinter

from the boardwalk—

the heat

Bill Kenney

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

scent of pine

a flame robin shivers

in the dew

Ron Moss

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

Christmas kiss

the smell of pine

in her hair

Meredith Cavalieri

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

heart of the woods

a red fox scampers

over beech leaves

Beverley George

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

Gran's apple pie

Dad feels of the sting

of a wooden spoon

Terry O'Connor

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

memories—

in a rosewood box

her mother's ashes

John Daleiden

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

chopping root vegetables—

so many old cuts

on the board

Penny Harter

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

Sixteenth Place — Three Points

Trembling, the old priest

sets a carved old plate with bread

beside a wine jar

Horst Ludwig

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

aged tobacco

and curly briarwood pipe

memories of Dad

A. Dharma Bum

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

catching time

in autumn leaves

without her

Barbara A Taylor

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

sandalwood fan

the sweet scent

drives away the heat

Audrey Downey

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

fog overtaking

footbridge and creek . . .

the dripping woods

Michael McClintock

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

the pine watch

as spring catches

up

Bill Gottlieb

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

coffee mist...

the carpenter caresses lightly

an ebony coffin

Lech Szeglowski

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

midnight passes

wooden stairs

sound the alarm

Ben Gieske

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

this cross I carry

if only

it were of wood

Shernaz Wadia

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

cedar, birch bark, glue

the journey begins with

building the canoe

Edward

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

blue glint

on the telephone pole –

a carpenter bee

Tomislav M.

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

first light

smoke from the wood stove

rising through the trees

Elaine Riddell

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

drilling

on the meditation room wall -

a woodpecker

Bhalachandra

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

deep massage . . .

a lingering aura

of sandalwood

Ellen Compton

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

General Comments:

I really enjoyed participating in and reading the June Kukai.

These are very hard to pick from. I like haiku so much I think I really like everyone’s works .If nothing else everyone should get points for writing these poetic gems just for the sheer enjoyment.

A mixed collection, with many different interpretations of the theme.

Thanks, this was fun!

Very hard to narrow down from 14, initially.

The best were so good that I was forced to exclude several that I'd certainly have voted for in many another month.

This topic worked far better than the one for Kigo.