Congratulations to Tom Painting, winner of our Kigo section and to Beth Powell, winner of our Free Format section!
June 2009 Results
Kigo Theme:
Graduation
First Place — Thirty-four Points
graduation day
her mother and I
test our civility
tom painting
(3,7,11) = 34 pts
The interconnected different aspects of life are merged in the common events of everyday life; graduating from school and commencing on new life relationships. Two wonderful occasion merged.
Second Place — Twenty Points
graduation cheer
a flock of starlings
takes the sky
Terry O'Connor
(1,2,13) = 20 pts
I like the implied image of the students taking flight, en masse, as well as the starlings. Nice play on 'starlings', too.
Third Place — Nineteen Points
graduation day
dandelion seeds
on the wind
frederick c gier
(0,4,11) = 19 pts
Like the dandelions, the graduates will undoubtedly travel far from their common starting point. Of course, we'll hope that they bring more joy and value to the world than dandelions do!
Fourth Place—Seventeen Points
graduation day—
their daughter's name
mispronounced
Bill Kenney
(0,4,9) = 17 pts
Fifth Place—Fifteen Points
graduation day
dogs present handlers
for diplomas
Rose Marie Stutts
(1,5,2) = 15 pts
graduation day
mom and stepmom
sitting side by side
Renee Owen
(1,2,8) = 15 pts
Sixth Place—Fourteen Points
graduation—
spiked heels sinking
into the grass
Penny Harter
(1,2,7) = 14 pts
A picture that speaks to almost all my senses — a clear favourite of mine here! This haiku shows keen observation.
Talk about being brought down to earth!
graduation photo
half a century later
her eyes unchanged
Meredith Cavalieri
(0,5,4) = 14 pts
Seventh Place—Thirteen Points
graduation day...
dogs of various sizes
sit and stay
Elinor Pihl Huggett
(0,3,7) = 13 pts
Eighth Place—Eleven Points
a newborn
asleep at the breast—
graduation day
Ron Moss
(0,3,5) = 11 pts
fallen birch leaves
in the graduation photo
we all look the same
Beverley George
(0,2,7) = 11 pts
L2 provides a natural pivot and the last line is amusing, yet carries the ring of truth.
Ninth Place—Ten Points
country school bleachers
the scent of alfalfa
at graduation
soji
(0,4,2) = 10 pts
Tenth Place—Nine Points
at graduation
all the flowers
in full bloom
Ben Gieske
(1,0,6) = 9 pts
Eleventh Place—Eight Points
caterpillar
taking its graduation—
high-grade butterfly
Virginia Popescu
(2,0,2) = 8 pts
graduation
remembering her first steps
magna cum laude
Horst Ludwig
(0,4,0) = 8 pts
Twelfth Place—Seven Points
graduation
the spaghetti strap
slips off her shoulder
Beth Powell
(1,2,0) = 7 pts
I remember how the spaghetti strap slipped off her shoulder, not quite a half-century ago.
One of those moments that are absolutely trivial, unless you happen to be the one involved. There is nothing unkind in the humor here.
graduation day
wild roses
ablossom
Alan S. Bridges
(1,1,2) = 7 pts
graduation . . .
the speaker's wisdom
blown away
Bill Pauly
(0,3,1) = 7 pts
Graduation—
students and their tassels
seeking direction
Shelley Krause
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
Pick of the litter.
graduation day
the valedictorian's
ragged running shoes
ed markowski
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
Graduation Day—
mother picks off
a dandelion parachute
Ralf Broker
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
baby bird
spreads her wings...
graduation day
A. Dharma Bum
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
graduation . . .
the valedictorian shares
her lip gloss
Francine Banwarth
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
The feminine pronoun is, happily, no longer unexpected, but the "lip gloss" is a nice twist.
stuck in the
revolving doors
graduation day
Elena Naskova
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
peonies
bloom overnight—
graduation
Marylouise Knight
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
Simple, yet effective . . . the graduates blooming as they complete their program. Let's hope their bloom time, however, lasts longer than the peonies'!
kindergarten graduation
the empty bird's nest
above the doorway
Sjs Stevie
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
Thirteenth Place—Six Points
Graduation time
little bird shows its parents—
how well it observed
Jenn McSweeney
(1,1,1) = 6 pts
the transgender boy
flips her tassel right to left—
graduation morning
Bruce H. Feingold
(1,1,1) = 6 pts
graduation—
nothing beneath
his gown
Lex Joy
(1,0,3) = 6 pts
graduation day,
our daughter somebody else's
brown-eyed girl
Robert Ertman
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
This haiku tells readers immediately multiple meanings of graduation—a true commencement is recognized here. The voices of the haiku tell readers that the students, the parents and the future off-spring of the graduating couple are totally involved in on-going and developing relationships. What a positive expression of live is revealed in these powerful images. Great tenderness emanates from the haiku.
graduation day ::
catalpa blossoms
litter the lawn
timothy russell
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
red wings
for the caterpillar . . .
graduation day
Mary Davila
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
beneath the class clown's
graduation robe—
purple sneakers
Terri L. French
(0,0,6) = 6 pts
Fourteenth Place—Five Points
graduation
now the world
is school
Bill Gottlieb
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
sleeping
after graduation—
dreams of cotton in the wind
Bhalachandra
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
graduation –
the toast of champagne
for a hawker’s son
Gautam Nadkarni
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
A subtle haiku that makes a point, without being preachy.
graduation day—
flaunting
her diamond ring
Carolyn Coit Dancy
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
a peace dove
soils the soldier's cap
at graduation
Barbara A Taylor
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
graduation day
the long awaited peonies
making a statement
Audrey Downey
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
graduation day
removing the training wheels
from her bicycle
Tom Genovese
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
tough graduation
the swallow's first flight
and the air is full of hats
Jon Espen Vassbotn
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
only eighteen . . .
her graduation photo
in front of the altar
Susan Constable
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
a degree of mischief
in the black squirrel's stare
graduation day
Jennifer Corpe
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
Fifteenth Place—Four Points
parting messages
through the microphone
graduation day
gillena
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
last cherry blossom
my graduation photo
shows a weary smile
Harvey Jenkins
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
fallen mortarboard
a cygnet tilts its head
at the yellow tassel
Nancy Smith
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
damp eyed
through graduation—
hay fever
andrea
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
graduation—
he adjusts again
the sails
Nelson
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
So many images are forward looking—the ideal of graduation and setting sails for a course are wonderfully compatible; this haiku is forward looking and innovative.
graduation day—
over his gown a Maori
wears a feathered cloak
Patricia Prime (NZ)
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
In this haiku two ancient cultures collide—the aboriginal Maori of civilization of New Zealand and the medieval university system of Europe are meshed images; the irony of juxtaposition makes many apt social comparisons.
graduation dance
the school principal starts
a conga line
Garry Eaton
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
Sixteenth Place—Three Points
first day of college
admiring the caps and gowns
the new graduates
bre
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
thinking caps in flight
jubilant graduates cheer
high expectations
Lorraine Marguerite Gasrel Black
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
mortarboards
on the college roof
graduation day
Andre Surridge
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
into the future
in medieval cap and gown
graduation
Elaine Riddell
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
hat toss celebration—
a dragonfly caught
at a graduation ceremony
Daniela Bullas
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
graduation day...
our daughter's scent
still in my memory
_kala
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
graduation day –
remembering only
smiles and tears
Tomislav M.
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
salmon run
old schoolmates return
for graduation
Darrell
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
An apt juxtaposition.
General Comments:
I preferred those that found something fresh in the most familiar meaning of "graduation" to those that sought clever ways to avoid it.
Once again I don't feel this topic was very evocative. It would have been somewhat better if calling for 'anything suggesting graduation' rather than the exact use of that word. Exact words always make for soporific reading during the voting phase.
Once again it was really hard for me to pick them and I wish I could have been able to pick more to win.
I went back to studying after 20 years and I’m graduating in two weeks - our winter here in South Africa - so this topic is very apt!
Free Format Theme:
Wood
First Place — Twenty-Eight Points
boatshop
bending the fir
to fit the waves
Beth Powell
(3,4,11) = 28 pts
Human industry guided by knowledge of–and, I'd say, reverence for–nature. I'm not the nautical type, but this makes me feel the shape of the boat and the force of the waves.
What a lovely way to think about the shape of a hull! Nice alliteration and rhythm, too.
Second Place — Twenty-Six Points
spring fog
only the rhythm of wooden boats
knocking together
Kate Creighton
(1,3,17) = 26 pts
hauling firewood—
the wheelbarrow and I
both wobbly
Terri L. French
(0,7,12) = 26 pts
Wow. There is an intense network of connection between these images; just as the collector of the firewood and the wheelbarrow "wobble" so too does the flame as it burns in various stages. The 3 respective "wobbles" in this haiku vibrate with life giving energy.
I like the subtle humour that arises from truth and that brings a smile of recognition. Unfortunately, I can relate almost too easily to this!
Third Place — Twenty-One Points
short days
the old woodcarver
goes with the grain
tom painting
(0,3,15) = 21 pts
Would that we all learn to live our lives this way, instead of fighting every little thing that comes along. Lovely on both the literal and metaphorical level.
Fourth Place — Twenty Points
tracing the knot
in the wooden pew
~ Grandad's funeral
Paul Hodder
(1,4,9) = 20 pts
It seems that we often look for distractions in our moments of grief. Well worded, without a hint of sentimentality.
Fifth Place — Seventeen Points
pregnancy test -
a wooden Indian
offers cigars
Laurene
(2,3,5) = 17 pts
Sixth Place — Fifteen Points
a plain pine box containing a complicated man
Sjs
(0,3,9) = 15 pts
bamboo curtains
if only I could roll up
my thoughts. . .
_kala
(0,2,11) = 15 pts
Seventh Place — Thirteen Points
maple in rain—
the sweet curves
of the violin
Nelson
(0,3,7) = 13 pts
waiting for news—
polishing, again,
his walnut desk
Bridget Cougar
(0,2,9) = 13 pts
The depth of reflection in highly polished walnut wood compliments the image of expectations in "waiting for news". The mystery of what kind of news is wonderfully withheld and allows the readers to freely speculate according their own mindsets at the moment of reading. There is a fine open-ended moment of reflection in this well wrought haiku.
the old teak bowl
has outlasted her marriage —
fresh salad greens
andrea
(0,1,11) = 13 pts
I felt that! Very moving!
A perfect fusion of pathos and humor, avoiding any trace of cynicism. This leaves a good taste in the spirit.
Eighth Place — Eleven Points
In a circle—
the sound of earth
on wood
Ralf Broker
(1,3,2) = 11 pts
under the
giant sequoia... the sky
further than ever
Elena Naskova
(0,1,9) = 11 pts
Ninth Place — Ten Points
from an ancient piece
of swamp cedar the sculptor
releases a frog
Andre Surridge
(0,4,2) = 10 pts
Interesting play on Michelangelo's statement concerning his sculpture of David, "I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free."
Tenth Place — Nine Points
midsummer night –
fireflies on the growth rings
of our garden table
Daniela Bullas, UK
(0,3,3) = 9 pts
alone in the woods
I say "i'm sorry"
after each fart
Jacek M.
(0,2,5) = 9 pts
Eleventh Place — Eight Points
acorns—
the tree my
father planted
Robert Ertman
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
So understated and profound that I missed it completely on my first time through the list. The line ending on "my" remains a blemish, however.
handling chopsticks-
I become hungrier
and hungrier
Barbara Campitelli
(0,1,6) = 8 pts
Amusing.
summer nights
the smell of mesquite smoke
in her hair
frederick c gier
(0,1,6) = 8 pts
Through the use of scent his haiku evokes memories of campfire gatherings—of sitting in a close knit group, gazing into an intense fire and watching the spirits of the wood freely escape into the atmosphere becoming one with the natural elements; the cyclic rhythms of life forces vibrate through this haiku.
Twelfth Place — Seven Points
pine smoke—
the toasted skin slides
off a marshmallow
DeVar
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
Thirteenth Place — Six Points
nine sacred woods
laying the bonfire
on Beltane eve
bre
(1,0,3) = 6 pts
sunset –
a dragonfly rests
at the dry stick
Miorita
(1,0,3) = 6 pts
moon through the woods
the light draws
us in
Francine Banwarth
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
chimney swept...
a spider carried in
with the wood
Diane Mayr
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
Fourteenth Place — Five Points
cutting trees
with every strike
leaves tremble
Mariusz O.
(1,1,0) = 5 pts
reflecting pond
the decomposing
driftwood
ed markowski
(1,0,2) = 5 pts
wooden corals-
on a woman's neck
the weight of years
Iga
(1,0,2) = 5 pts
beachcomber
he settles on a piece
of driftwood
Susan Constable
(1,0,2) = 5 pts
forgetting
the name of . . .
the Gingko tree
Donna Bauerly
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
Their names faded
in the recesses of bark-
on the old oak tree
Jenn McSweeney
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
grandfather's oak clock
I hear the passage of time
in the living-room
Harvey Jenkins
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
the crackle
of an applewood fire . . .
summer rain
Catherine J.S. Lee
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
Water...fire...and air unite in this powerful haiku, providing a fundamental feeling of well-being, a uniting of elemental forces.
Fifteenth Place — Four Points
oak, ash, elder, thorn
the old ways still have power
in mankind's autumn
Deirdre Godwin
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
I enjoy the archetypal elements in this one.
the scent of pine
whittling the symbols
on the dreidel
ARW
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
hot cross buns —
a hint of wood texture
in the pale cross
~ Isabelle Prondzynski
(0,2,0) = 4 pts
No decisions yet;
Can't see the wood for trees...
But I won't give up
Tanja Cilia
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
a maple ablaze
over the wooden cross-
ten years after...
natalia kuznetsova
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
a splinter
from the boardwalk—
the heat
Bill Kenney
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
scent of pine
a flame robin shivers
in the dew
Ron Moss
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
Christmas kiss
the smell of pine
in her hair
Meredith Cavalieri
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
heart of the woods
a red fox scampers
over beech leaves
Beverley George
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
Gran's apple pie
Dad feels of the sting
of a wooden spoon
Terry O'Connor
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
memories—
in a rosewood box
her mother's ashes
John Daleiden
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
chopping root vegetables—
so many old cuts
on the board
Penny Harter
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
Sixteenth Place — Three Points
Trembling, the old priest
sets a carved old plate with bread
beside a wine jar
Horst Ludwig
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
aged tobacco
and curly briarwood pipe
memories of Dad
A. Dharma Bum
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
catching time
in autumn leaves
without her
Barbara A Taylor
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
sandalwood fan
the sweet scent
drives away the heat
Audrey Downey
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
fog overtaking
footbridge and creek . . .
the dripping woods
Michael McClintock
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
the pine watch
as spring catches
up
Bill Gottlieb
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
coffee mist...
the carpenter caresses lightly
an ebony coffin
Lech Szeglowski
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
midnight passes
wooden stairs
sound the alarm
Ben Gieske
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
this cross I carry
if only
it were of wood
Shernaz Wadia
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
cedar, birch bark, glue
the journey begins with
building the canoe
Edward
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
blue glint
on the telephone pole –
a carpenter bee
Tomislav M.
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
first light
smoke from the wood stove
rising through the trees
Elaine Riddell
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
drilling
on the meditation room wall -
a woodpecker
Bhalachandra
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
deep massage . . .
a lingering aura
of sandalwood
Ellen Compton
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
General Comments:
I really enjoyed participating in and reading the June Kukai.
These are very hard to pick from. I like haiku so much I think I really like everyone’s works .If nothing else everyone should get points for writing these poetic gems just for the sheer enjoyment.
A mixed collection, with many different interpretations of the theme.
Thanks, this was fun!
Very hard to narrow down from 14, initially.
The best were so good that I was forced to exclude several that I'd certainly have voted for in many another month.
This topic worked far better than the one for Kigo.