June 2006 Kukai

Kigo Theme: 

Humid

First Place -- 39 pts

humid night

only the cat's tail stirs

the curtains

Warren Gossett

(1,10,16) = 39 pts

* ~I love the image that this conveys. Nothing moving except the cat's tail. Lovely!

* A gentle complementing of images here

Second Place -- 35 pts

humid night

the ice cream vendor

pulls back her hair

Tom Painting

(2,8,13) = 35 pts

* ~A wonderfully simple way of describing the humid evening. * A whole childhood of summer memories is brought back by a poet simply making note of this gesture in the right context.

* Capturing the simple and eloquent gesture.

Third Place -- 26 pts

humid night -

the old dog runs

in his sleep

sheila windsor

(2,4,12) = 26 pts

* True to life humor * Very close to home

Fourth Place -- 20 pts

humid night

a cloud spreads open

for the moon

Agnes Eva Savich

(1,4,9) = 20 pts

* I liked the "double layer" in poem #2: a new perspective on the night sky plus the erotic overtone. Simple, well-chosen words work well together to present both a literal image and a suggestive one.

Fifth Place -- 17 pts

hot and humid--

the neighbor shouts

in spanish

Kathy Lippard Cobb

(2,2,7) = 17 pts

Sixth Place -- 16 pts

humid evening

swallows in and out of

the sprinkler

-- ushi

(1,3,7) = 16 pts

* Not flashy, just very simple, and effective humor. I have seen this happen on many evenings with all kinds of birds.

humid haze

sticky even before

this mango

susan delphine delaney

(0,5,6) = 16 pts

humid night—

the same book

twice as thick

Marie Summers

(0,4,8) = 16 pts

Seventh Place -- 14 pts

crematorium -

the lobby smelling

of humid coats

max verhart

(1,2,7) = 14 pts

Eighth Place -- 13 pts

humid night-

the space between

. . . raindrops

ron moss

(0,5,3) = 13 pts

humid night

through an open window

the scent of rain

Lynne Rees

(0,2,9) = 13 pts

Ninth Place -- 12 pts

humid morning

the weight

of dew

doris kasson

(1,3,3) = 12 pts

humid morning

my hair

finally curls

City Girl

(1,0,9) = 12 pts

* It's all in the point of view.

Tenth Place -- 11 pts

long humid night

a creaking fan syncopates

with the crickets

cate juno

(0,4,3) = 11 pts

Eleventh Place -- 9 pts

oh the humidity!

i pick some wedding rice

from your cheek

aom (tim)

(1,1,4) = 9 pts

humid air

jasmine blossoms

children count stars

Itchiban

(0,4,1) = 9 pts

Twelfth Place -- 8 pts

these humid nights

staring at the sound

of the ceiling fan

Bill Kenney

(1,1,3) = 8 pts

humid day

gnats move

the cow's eyelids

martin

(1,1,3) = 8 pts

Thirteenth Place -- 7 pts

humid morning-

my favorite shirt

ruined

Mary Chapman

(1,1,2) = 7 pts

sweating

the ice tea and I

humid day

Bill Hudson

(1,1,2) = 7 pts

humid night

mosquitoes circle

the tent flap

Laryalee Fraser

(0,2,3) = 7 pts

* Been there! The second discomfort heightens awareness of the first to excruciating.

humid day:

ducks in the shade

of the willow

--Irene Golas

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

high humidity

the bathing suits still wet

on the porch rail

Meredith

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

* True to life. And so we'd put them back on and return to the lake :-)

* Evokes a well remembered experience with even the faint smell of suits damp until they turn a bit sour.

Fourteenth Place -- 6 pts

bowing with the priest

in the humid evening,

a tall sunflower

Darrell Lindsey

(2,0,0) = 6 pts

humid sunset

petals of the wild rose

grow pinker

kjs

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

humid

without air conditioning --

raised voices

-Deborah P Kolodji

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

humid night

drowning in the scent

of rotting flowers

Beverley George

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

humid day -

a cat on the roof

licks itself

Israel López Balan

(0,0,6) = 6 pts

Fifteenth Place -- 5 pts

sultry evening

the cool brush

of humid lips

RaV

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

It's been too humid

This Cinco De Mayo

To make piñatas

Linda Warner

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

humid dawn--

the sparkle of raindrops left

on high voltage wires

Gillena Cox

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

humid afternoon

the man's arm and tea glass

both sweat

Cliff Roberts

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

tokyo summer

stillness in

the humid air

john tiong chunghoo

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

Humid day:

his ink dish stays wet

'til late afternoon

-Gao

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

* Every time I read it I add more details to the mental painting I'm making from this.

humid morning

choosing not to

sweep the cobweb

polona o.

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

humid park --

the fountain launches

a rainbow

Origa

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

humid evening –

we kindle the campfire

on the third try

Zhanna P. Rader

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

Sixteenth Place -- 4 pts

a little humid ~

the aide strips

dad's sheets

roberta beary

(1,0,1) = 4 pts

* The power of understatement and implication. Why say everything?

humid afternoon

ladies scrub their rugs

on the sidewalk

isa fakir

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

humid evening--

peonies blush red

when she kisses me

--Baldhead

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

humid summer night

fan humming

one endless note

Simply Maire

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

* Here it's the grinding monotony of one image which heightens the other to produce a vivid sense of sleepless discomfort.

humid day -

nine months pregnant

she showers a third time

Leslie Montgomery

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

humid monday -

red kimono

bowed on the washing line

Paul Hodder

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

* ~Even the red kimono, otherwise so crisp and decorous, has wilted in the humidity. A delightful haiku.

Seventeenth Place -- 3 pts

humid spell

my coconut candy

doesn't set

Zaida Lysle

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

humidity:

a lazy fly sticks

to the wall

Linda Marucci

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

humid fragrance--

a honeysuckled fence

blocks the east wind

-Jason Ferguson

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

humid day--

an empty hammock

and my book

Mary Lee McClure

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

humid morning

pheasants calling

deep in the woods

--Derwisz

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

humid day

brown figs gathered

in a small box

Bruce Ross

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

surprised

by a hummingbird

this humid day

Chandra Bales

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

rain soaked garden--

the humidity rising

with the sun

Ami

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

humid morning

a yellow leaf

on the dog's fur

Petar Tchouhov

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

humid afternoon

air wringing itself out

on me

Mary Wuest

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

humid dusk –

even the firefly’s glow

seems too warm

Nancy Smith

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

humid day

he leaves her

without a word

Gabriel Sawicki

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

humid afternoon -

scattered on satin sheets

first cherries

Visnja

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

Free Format Theme:

Turtle

First Place -- 27 pts

mexican village

the old woman sips soup

from a turtle shell

Denise Lizarraga

(1,7,10) = 27 pts

* For me this communicates a meditative moment where life is so hard one must chose one life over another. As the name is unknown to me it didn't influence my choice.

Second Place -- 24 pts

winter sky -

a bleached turtle shell

full of leaves

Chris Eichenberger

(2,3,12) = 24 pts

* I would give this haiku more pts. if I could....lovely imagery

* An appealing visual haiku; I see the scene as bleak and beautiful.

Third Place -- 22 pts

show and tell--

his box turtle

won't come out

aom (tim)

(0,4,14) = 22 pts

* I share the young one's disappointment and chagrin.

* Excellent! I'd give this one more points, if I had them. How often does nature not co-operate with mankind's intentions? VERY WELL DONE! THE BEST poem, IMO!

Fourth Place -- 21 pts

old turtle

lagging behind

its shadow

Petar Tchouhov

(2,3,9) = 21 pts

Fifth Place -- 20 pts

egg moon -

a green turtle climbs

the beach

lorin

(2,4,6) = 20 pts

Sixth Place -- 19 pts

turtle...

I too wish to think

outside the box

Tom Painting

(0,6,7) = 19 pts

Seventh Place -- 18 pts

turtle--

just a matter

of time

Mary Lee McClure

(1,6,3) = 18 pts

* Very concise, "time" can be taken two ways: turtles live long, or turtles are slow moving creatures.

summer morning –

a white butterfly warms up

on a turtle's back

Zhanna P. Rader

(1,4,7) = 18 pts

Eighth Place -- 16 pts

on his upper arm

the old man's tattoo

a wrinkled turtle

max verhart

(2,2,6) = 16 pts

* the indirect approach to a topic, this time of aging. The word 'old' becomes superfluous, but I'm voting on the theme I've identified of "show, not tell."

Ninth Place -- 12 pts

turtle-neck sweater

--hiding the hickey

from dad

brenda roberts

(0,2,8) = 12 pts

* Hahaha, teenaged daughter! Good ah-ha moment.

Tenth Place -- 10 pts

at the curb

running away from home

the boy's turtle

Cliff Roberts

(1,2,3) = 10 pts

pausing

to let the sea turtle pass

night jogger

susan delphine delaney

(0,3,4) = 10 pts

holding traffic . . .

the turtle

in the old man's hands

Dustin Neal

(0,3,4) = 10 pts

midday sun --

a turtle's shadow

on the algae

Laryalee Fraser

(0,2,6) = 10 pts

Eleventh -- 9 pts

the mother winces

as her baby's head pushes

through the turtleneck

cate juno

(1,2,2) = 9 pts

milky-colored moon -

heave of a green sea turtle

laying white eggs

Bruce H. Feingold

(1,1,4) = 9 pts

sunrise

a turtle's shadow

on the move

Ann K. Schwader

(0,4,1) = 9 pts

Twelfth Place -- 8 pts

in the sand...

tourist turtles

up to their necks

shanna

(0,3,2) = 8 pts

truck stop café-

a turtle shell ashtray

lit by the moon

r o n . m o s s

(0,2,4) = 8 pts

* Echoes Basho's ideal of mixing the mundane object with the elegant topic.

pottery class--

the little girl who works so slowly

makes a turtle

Linda P.

(0,1,6) = 8 pts

Thirteenth Place -- 7 pts

traffic jam

a turtle walks

past

Dave

(0,2,3) = 7 pts

first sunbeam

chasing the turtle

up the dune

---Derwisz

(0,2,3) = 7 pts

reflecting pond

a box turtle travels

the length of my cane

ed markowski

(0,2,3) = 7 pts

* Not funny in the way #8 is, but again shows us the turtle is slow without merely telling us that.

foreclosure—

a little boy peers through

an empty turtle shell

Marie Summers

(0,0,7) = 7 pts

* good connection between the foreclosure on a mortgage and the empty turtle shell.

* Technically okay and a telling metaphor, it still read to me without 'heart' like the 'empty shell'.

Fourteenth Place -- 6 pts

a turtle race...

though you came last,

you're my turtle!

Tom

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

* Almost 'too cute' it none-the-less communicates its loyalty.

Fifteenth Place -- 5 pts

Boston Aquarium

the turtle scrapes its fin

on a window frame

Bruce Ross

(1,0,2) = 5 pts

Quietly

through the garden

turtle speed

Ashi

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

snapping turtle

the swimming hole

clearing

Barbara Snow

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

her pet turtle

left in my care—

we're still friends

Bill Kenney

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

summer storm-

a turtle paperweight

holds down my papers

angelee deodhar

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

Sixteenth Place -- 4 pts

turtle dove

how like a pigeon's

is your poop

Colin Stewart Jones

(1,0,1) = 4 pts

the gardener trips

over a turtle sculpture--

purple dahlias

Ami

(1,0,1) = 4 pts

a sandy beach—

in my meager pot

turtle soup

John Daleiden

(0,2,0) = 4 pts

summer breeze -

another turtle arrives

to the pond

Israel López Balan

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

stepping into the road

to help him cross

I become the turtle

suzume shi

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

water hole

the three-legged turtle

sunbathing

polona o.

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

* Three-legged: poor fellow had a mishap or narrow escape.

twilight beach -

a turtle peeps out

peeps in

Narayanan Raghunathan

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

summer evening

another pink turtle

slips into the sea

j blain

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

Seventeenth Place -- 3 pts

the turtle lies still

in the shadows --

no one is home

--Aalix

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

garden turtle

just can't move - cherry petal

on its back

Boris Nazansky

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

up-ended turtle:

head and limbs flail

in the gentle breeze

Vaughn Seward

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

sea turtle-

in the moonlight

returns to the ocean

Mary Chapman

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

turtle in box

climbing all day

nowhere to go

Itchiban

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

* Leaves the reader with a sad feeling. Poor confined creature.Well written.

turtle crossing

it's suggested that you

bring your lunch

Karen Briggs

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

* I expected ku on slow turtles. This says so without directly saying so.

* I like the dry humor here.

* Hahaha! good senryu! Too bad I didn't have enough points to vote for this one, too!

sunrise

painted turtles bask

on a mud bank

Warren Gossett

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

midnight

crossing path

with a turtle

john tiong chunghoo

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

day moon

the turtle naps

under a shade tree

Carmel Lively Westerman

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

walking home

under a full moon

snapping turtle

Lynne Rees

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

turtle derby

rookie journalist's

photo finish

-- ushi

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

* Again the indirect approach to showing us real life. Yet the humor is not for the turtle, but the career of journalism.

* The journalist's been given an "unimportant" assignment? A lot to be construed here. Nice.

uphill climb

a turtle

races beside me

doris kasson

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

evening stroll --

whistling granddad overtakes

a turtle

Nancy Smith

(0,0,3) = 3 pts