Congratulations to Warren Gossett , the winner of our Kigo section, and to Denise Lizarraga, the winner of our Free Format section!
June 2006 Results
Kigo Theme:
Humid
First Place -- 39 pts
humid night
only the cat's tail stirs
the curtains
Warren Gossett
(1,10,16) = 39 pts
* ~I love the image that this conveys. Nothing moving except the cat's tail. Lovely!
* A gentle complementing of images here
Second Place -- 35 pts
humid night
the ice cream vendor
pulls back her hair
Tom Painting
(2,8,13) = 35 pts
* ~A wonderfully simple way of describing the humid evening. * A whole childhood of summer memories is brought back by a poet simply making note of this gesture in the right context.
* Capturing the simple and eloquent gesture.
Third Place -- 26 pts
humid night -
the old dog runs
in his sleep
sheila windsor
(2,4,12) = 26 pts
* True to life humor * Very close to home
Fourth Place -- 20 pts
humid night
a cloud spreads open
for the moon
Agnes Eva Savich
(1,4,9) = 20 pts
* I liked the "double layer" in poem #2: a new perspective on the night sky plus the erotic overtone. Simple, well-chosen words work well together to present both a literal image and a suggestive one.
Fifth Place -- 17 pts
hot and humid--
the neighbor shouts
in spanish
Kathy Lippard Cobb
(2,2,7) = 17 pts
Sixth Place -- 16 pts
humid evening
swallows in and out of
the sprinkler
-- ushi
(1,3,7) = 16 pts
* Not flashy, just very simple, and effective humor. I have seen this happen on many evenings with all kinds of birds.
humid haze
sticky even before
this mango
susan delphine delaney
(0,5,6) = 16 pts
humid night—
the same book
twice as thick
Marie Summers
(0,4,8) = 16 pts
Seventh Place -- 14 pts
crematorium -
the lobby smelling
of humid coats
max verhart
(1,2,7) = 14 pts
Eighth Place -- 13 pts
humid night-
the space between
. . . raindrops
ron moss
(0,5,3) = 13 pts
humid night
through an open window
the scent of rain
Lynne Rees
(0,2,9) = 13 pts
Ninth Place -- 12 pts
humid morning
the weight
of dew
doris kasson
(1,3,3) = 12 pts
humid morning
my hair
finally curls
City Girl
(1,0,9) = 12 pts
* It's all in the point of view.
Tenth Place -- 11 pts
long humid night
a creaking fan syncopates
with the crickets
cate juno
(0,4,3) = 11 pts
Eleventh Place -- 9 pts
oh the humidity!
i pick some wedding rice
from your cheek
aom (tim)
(1,1,4) = 9 pts
humid air
jasmine blossoms
children count stars
Itchiban
(0,4,1) = 9 pts
Twelfth Place -- 8 pts
these humid nights
staring at the sound
of the ceiling fan
Bill Kenney
(1,1,3) = 8 pts
humid day
gnats move
the cow's eyelids
martin
(1,1,3) = 8 pts
Thirteenth Place -- 7 pts
humid morning-
my favorite shirt
ruined
Mary Chapman
(1,1,2) = 7 pts
sweating
the ice tea and I
humid day
Bill Hudson
(1,1,2) = 7 pts
humid night
mosquitoes circle
the tent flap
Laryalee Fraser
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
* Been there! The second discomfort heightens awareness of the first to excruciating.
humid day:
ducks in the shade
of the willow
--Irene Golas
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
high humidity
the bathing suits still wet
on the porch rail
Meredith
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
* True to life. And so we'd put them back on and return to the lake :-)
* Evokes a well remembered experience with even the faint smell of suits damp until they turn a bit sour.
Fourteenth Place -- 6 pts
bowing with the priest
in the humid evening,
a tall sunflower
Darrell Lindsey
(2,0,0) = 6 pts
humid sunset
petals of the wild rose
grow pinker
kjs
(0,2,2) = 6 pts
humid
without air conditioning --
raised voices
-Deborah P Kolodji
(0,2,2) = 6 pts
humid night
drowning in the scent
of rotting flowers
Beverley George
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
humid day -
a cat on the roof
licks itself
Israel López Balan
(0,0,6) = 6 pts
Fifteenth Place -- 5 pts
sultry evening
the cool brush
of humid lips
RaV
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
It's been too humid
This Cinco De Mayo
To make piñatas
Linda Warner
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
humid dawn--
the sparkle of raindrops left
on high voltage wires
Gillena Cox
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
humid afternoon
the man's arm and tea glass
both sweat
Cliff Roberts
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
tokyo summer
stillness in
the humid air
john tiong chunghoo
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
Humid day:
his ink dish stays wet
'til late afternoon
-Gao
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
* Every time I read it I add more details to the mental painting I'm making from this.
humid morning
choosing not to
sweep the cobweb
polona o.
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
humid park --
the fountain launches
a rainbow
Origa
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
humid evening –
we kindle the campfire
on the third try
Zhanna P. Rader
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
Sixteenth Place -- 4 pts
a little humid ~
the aide strips
dad's sheets
roberta beary
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
* The power of understatement and implication. Why say everything?
humid afternoon
ladies scrub their rugs
on the sidewalk
isa fakir
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
humid evening--
peonies blush red
when she kisses me
--Baldhead
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
humid summer night
fan humming
one endless note
Simply Maire
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
* Here it's the grinding monotony of one image which heightens the other to produce a vivid sense of sleepless discomfort.
humid day -
nine months pregnant
she showers a third time
Leslie Montgomery
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
humid monday -
red kimono
bowed on the washing line
Paul Hodder
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
* ~Even the red kimono, otherwise so crisp and decorous, has wilted in the humidity. A delightful haiku.
Seventeenth Place -- 3 pts
humid spell
my coconut candy
doesn't set
Zaida Lysle
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
humidity:
a lazy fly sticks
to the wall
Linda Marucci
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
humid fragrance--
a honeysuckled fence
blocks the east wind
-Jason Ferguson
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
humid day--
an empty hammock
and my book
Mary Lee McClure
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
humid morning
pheasants calling
deep in the woods
--Derwisz
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
humid day
brown figs gathered
in a small box
Bruce Ross
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
surprised
by a hummingbird
this humid day
Chandra Bales
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
rain soaked garden--
the humidity rising
with the sun
Ami
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
humid morning
a yellow leaf
on the dog's fur
Petar Tchouhov
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
humid afternoon
air wringing itself out
on me
Mary Wuest
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
humid dusk –
even the firefly’s glow
seems too warm
Nancy Smith
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
humid day
he leaves her
without a word
Gabriel Sawicki
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
humid afternoon -
scattered on satin sheets
first cherries
Visnja
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
Free Format Theme:
Turtle
First Place -- 27 pts
mexican village
the old woman sips soup
from a turtle shell
Denise Lizarraga
(1,7,10) = 27 pts
* For me this communicates a meditative moment where life is so hard one must chose one life over another. As the name is unknown to me it didn't influence my choice.
Second Place -- 24 pts
winter sky -
a bleached turtle shell
full of leaves
Chris Eichenberger
(2,3,12) = 24 pts
* I would give this haiku more pts. if I could....lovely imagery
* An appealing visual haiku; I see the scene as bleak and beautiful.
Third Place -- 22 pts
show and tell--
his box turtle
won't come out
aom (tim)
(0,4,14) = 22 pts
* I share the young one's disappointment and chagrin.
* Excellent! I'd give this one more points, if I had them. How often does nature not co-operate with mankind's intentions? VERY WELL DONE! THE BEST poem, IMO!
Fourth Place -- 21 pts
old turtle
lagging behind
its shadow
Petar Tchouhov
(2,3,9) = 21 pts
Fifth Place -- 20 pts
egg moon -
a green turtle climbs
the beach
lorin
(2,4,6) = 20 pts
Sixth Place -- 19 pts
turtle...
I too wish to think
outside the box
Tom Painting
(0,6,7) = 19 pts
Seventh Place -- 18 pts
turtle--
just a matter
of time
Mary Lee McClure
(1,6,3) = 18 pts
* Very concise, "time" can be taken two ways: turtles live long, or turtles are slow moving creatures.
summer morning –
a white butterfly warms up
on a turtle's back
Zhanna P. Rader
(1,4,7) = 18 pts
Eighth Place -- 16 pts
on his upper arm
the old man's tattoo
a wrinkled turtle
max verhart
(2,2,6) = 16 pts
* the indirect approach to a topic, this time of aging. The word 'old' becomes superfluous, but I'm voting on the theme I've identified of "show, not tell."
Ninth Place -- 12 pts
turtle-neck sweater
--hiding the hickey
from dad
brenda roberts
(0,2,8) = 12 pts
* Hahaha, teenaged daughter! Good ah-ha moment.
Tenth Place -- 10 pts
at the curb
running away from home
the boy's turtle
Cliff Roberts
(1,2,3) = 10 pts
pausing
to let the sea turtle pass
night jogger
susan delphine delaney
(0,3,4) = 10 pts
holding traffic . . .
the turtle
in the old man's hands
Dustin Neal
(0,3,4) = 10 pts
midday sun --
a turtle's shadow
on the algae
Laryalee Fraser
(0,2,6) = 10 pts
Eleventh -- 9 pts
the mother winces
as her baby's head pushes
through the turtleneck
cate juno
(1,2,2) = 9 pts
milky-colored moon -
heave of a green sea turtle
laying white eggs
Bruce H. Feingold
(1,1,4) = 9 pts
sunrise
a turtle's shadow
on the move
Ann K. Schwader
(0,4,1) = 9 pts
Twelfth Place -- 8 pts
in the sand...
tourist turtles
up to their necks
shanna
(0,3,2) = 8 pts
truck stop café-
a turtle shell ashtray
lit by the moon
r o n . m o s s
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
* Echoes Basho's ideal of mixing the mundane object with the elegant topic.
pottery class--
the little girl who works so slowly
makes a turtle
Linda P.
(0,1,6) = 8 pts
Thirteenth Place -- 7 pts
traffic jam
a turtle walks
past
Dave
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
first sunbeam
chasing the turtle
up the dune
---Derwisz
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
reflecting pond
a box turtle travels
the length of my cane
ed markowski
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
* Not funny in the way #8 is, but again shows us the turtle is slow without merely telling us that.
foreclosure—
a little boy peers through
an empty turtle shell
Marie Summers
(0,0,7) = 7 pts
* good connection between the foreclosure on a mortgage and the empty turtle shell.
* Technically okay and a telling metaphor, it still read to me without 'heart' like the 'empty shell'.
Fourteenth Place -- 6 pts
a turtle race...
though you came last,
you're my turtle!
Tom
(0,2,2) = 6 pts
* Almost 'too cute' it none-the-less communicates its loyalty.
Fifteenth Place -- 5 pts
Boston Aquarium
the turtle scrapes its fin
on a window frame
Bruce Ross
(1,0,2) = 5 pts
Quietly
through the garden
turtle speed
Ashi
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
snapping turtle
the swimming hole
clearing
Barbara Snow
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
her pet turtle
left in my care—
we're still friends
Bill Kenney
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
summer storm-
a turtle paperweight
holds down my papers
angelee deodhar
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
Sixteenth Place -- 4 pts
turtle dove
how like a pigeon's
is your poop
Colin Stewart Jones
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
the gardener trips
over a turtle sculpture--
purple dahlias
Ami
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
a sandy beach—
in my meager pot
turtle soup
John Daleiden
(0,2,0) = 4 pts
summer breeze -
another turtle arrives
to the pond
Israel López Balan
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
stepping into the road
to help him cross
I become the turtle
suzume shi
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
water hole
the three-legged turtle
sunbathing
polona o.
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
* Three-legged: poor fellow had a mishap or narrow escape.
twilight beach -
a turtle peeps out
peeps in
Narayanan Raghunathan
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
summer evening
another pink turtle
slips into the sea
j blain
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
Seventeenth Place -- 3 pts
the turtle lies still
in the shadows --
no one is home
--Aalix
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
garden turtle
just can't move - cherry petal
on its back
Boris Nazansky
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
up-ended turtle:
head and limbs flail
in the gentle breeze
Vaughn Seward
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
sea turtle-
in the moonlight
returns to the ocean
Mary Chapman
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
turtle in box
climbing all day
nowhere to go
Itchiban
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
* Leaves the reader with a sad feeling. Poor confined creature.Well written.
turtle crossing
it's suggested that you
bring your lunch
Karen Briggs
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
* I expected ku on slow turtles. This says so without directly saying so.
* I like the dry humor here.
* Hahaha! good senryu! Too bad I didn't have enough points to vote for this one, too!
sunrise
painted turtles bask
on a mud bank
Warren Gossett
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
midnight
crossing path
with a turtle
john tiong chunghoo
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
day moon
the turtle naps
under a shade tree
Carmel Lively Westerman
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
walking home
under a full moon
snapping turtle
Lynne Rees
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
turtle derby
rookie journalist's
photo finish
-- ushi
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
* Again the indirect approach to showing us real life. Yet the humor is not for the turtle, but the career of journalism.
* The journalist's been given an "unimportant" assignment? A lot to be construed here. Nice.
uphill climb
a turtle
races beside me
doris kasson
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
evening stroll --
whistling granddad overtakes
a turtle
Nancy Smith
(0,0,3) = 3 pts