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June 2006 Kukai

Congratulations to Warren Gossett , the winner of our Kigo section, and to Denise Lizarraga, the winner of our Free Format section!

June 2006 Results
Kigo Theme: 
Free Format Theme:

First Place -- 39 pts
humid night
only the cat's tail stirs
the curtains

Warren Gossett
(1,10,16) = 39 pts

* ~I love the image that this conveys. Nothing moving except the cat's tail. Lovely!
* A gentle complementing of images here

Second Place -- 35 pts
humid night
the ice cream vendor
pulls back her hair

Tom Painting
(2,8,13) = 35 pts

* ~A wonderfully simple way of describing the humid evening. * A whole childhood of summer memories is brought back by a poet simply making note of this gesture in the right context.
* Capturing the simple and eloquent gesture.

Third Place -- 26 pts
humid night -
the old dog runs
in his sleep

sheila windsor
(2,4,12) = 26 pts

* True to life humor * Very close to home

Fourth Place -- 20 pts
humid night
a cloud spreads open
for the moon

Agnes Eva Savich
(1,4,9) = 20 pts

* I liked the "double layer" in poem #2: a new perspective on the night sky plus the erotic overtone. Simple, well-chosen words work well together to present both a literal image and a suggestive one.

Fifth Place -- 17 pts
hot and humid--
the neighbor shouts
in spanish

Kathy Lippard Cobb
(2,2,7) = 17 pts

Sixth Place -- 16 pts
humid evening
swallows in and out of
the sprinkler

-- ushi
(1,3,7) = 16 pts

* Not flashy, just very simple, and effective humor. I have seen this happen on many evenings with all kinds of birds.

humid haze
sticky even before
this mango

susan delphine delaney
(0,5,6) = 16 pts

humid night—
the same book
twice as thick

Marie Summers
(0,4,8) = 16 pts

Seventh Place -- 14 pts
crematorium -
the lobby smelling
of humid coats

max verhart
(1,2,7) = 14 pts

Eighth Place -- 13 pts
humid night-
the space between
. . . raindrops

ron moss
(0,5,3) = 13 pts

humid night
through an open window
the scent of rain

Lynne Rees
(0,2,9) = 13 pts

Ninth Place -- 12 pts
humid morning
the weight
of dew

doris kasson
(1,3,3) = 12 pts

humid morning
my hair
finally curls

City Girl
(1,0,9) = 12 pts

* It's all in the point of view.

Tenth Place -- 11 pts
long humid night
a creaking fan syncopates
with the crickets

cate juno
(0,4,3) = 11 pts

Eleventh Place -- 9 pts
oh the humidity!
i pick some wedding rice
from your cheek

aom (tim)
(1,1,4) = 9 pts

humid air
jasmine blossoms
children count stars

(0,4,1) = 9 pts

Twelfth Place -- 8 pts
these humid nights
staring at the sound
of the ceiling fan

Bill Kenney
(1,1,3) = 8 pts

humid day
gnats move
the cow's eyelids

(1,1,3) = 8 pts

Thirteenth Place -- 7 pts
humid morning-
my favorite shirt

Mary Chapman
(1,1,2) = 7 pts

the ice tea and I
humid day

Bill Hudson
(1,1,2) = 7 pts

humid night
mosquitoes circle
the tent flap

Laryalee Fraser
(0,2,3) = 7 pts

* Been there! The second discomfort heightens awareness of the first to excruciating.

humid day:
ducks in the shade
of the willow

--Irene Golas
(0,1,5) = 7 pts

high humidity
the bathing suits still wet
on the porch rail

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

* True to life. And so we'd put them back on and return to the lake :-)
* Evokes a well remembered experience with even the faint smell of suits damp until they turn a bit sour.

Fourteenth Place -- 6 pts
bowing with the priest
in the humid evening,
a tall sunflower

Darrell Lindsey
(2,0,0) = 6 pts

humid sunset
petals of the wild rose
grow pinker

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

without air conditioning --
raised voices

-Deborah P Kolodji
(0,2,2) = 6 pts

humid night
drowning in the scent
of rotting flowers

Beverley George
(0,1,4) = 6 pts

humid day -
a cat on the roof
licks itself

Israel López Balan
(0,0,6) = 6 pts

Fifteenth Place -- 5 pts
sultry evening
the cool brush
of humid lips

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

It's been too humid
This Cinco De Mayo
To make piñatas

Linda Warner
(0,2,1) = 5 pts

humid dawn--
the sparkle of raindrops left
on high voltage wires

Gillena Cox
(0,2,1) = 5 pts

humid afternoon
the man's arm and tea glass
both sweat

Cliff Roberts
(0,2,1) = 5 pts

tokyo summer
stillness in
the humid air

john tiong chunghoo
(0,1,3) = 5 pts

Humid day:
his ink dish stays wet
'til late afternoon

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

* Every time I read it I add more details to the mental painting I'm making from this.

humid morning
choosing not to
sweep the cobweb

polona o.
(0,1,3) = 5 pts

humid park --
the fountain launches
a rainbow

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

humid evening –
we kindle the campfire
on the third try

Zhanna P. Rader
(0,0,5) = 5 pts

Sixteenth Place -- 4 pts
a little humid ~
the aide strips
dad's sheets

roberta beary
(1,0,1) = 4 pts

* The power of understatement and implication. Why say everything?

humid afternoon
ladies scrub their rugs
on the sidewalk

isa fakir
(0,1,2) = 4 pts

humid evening--
peonies blush red
when she kisses me

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

humid summer night
fan humming
one endless note

Simply Maire
(0,1,2) = 4 pts

* Here it's the grinding monotony of one image which heightens the other to produce a vivid sense of sleepless discomfort.

humid day -
nine months pregnant
she showers a third time

Leslie Montgomery
(0,0,4) = 4 pts

humid monday -
red kimono
bowed on the washing line

Paul Hodder
(0,0,4) = 4 pts

* ~Even the red kimono, otherwise so crisp and decorous, has wilted in the humidity. A delightful haiku.

Seventeenth Place -- 3 pts
humid spell
my coconut candy
doesn't set

Zaida Lysle
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

a lazy fly sticks
to the wall

Linda Marucci
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

humid fragrance--
a honeysuckled fence
blocks the east wind

-Jason Ferguson
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

humid day--
an empty hammock
and my book

Mary Lee McClure
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

humid morning
pheasants calling
deep in the woods

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

humid day
brown figs gathered
in a small box

Bruce Ross
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

by a hummingbird
this humid day

Chandra Bales
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

rain soaked garden--
the humidity rising
with the sun

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

humid morning
a yellow leaf
on the dog's fur

Petar Tchouhov
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

humid afternoon
air wringing itself out
on me

Mary Wuest
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

humid dusk –
even the firefly’s glow
seems too warm

Nancy Smith
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

humid day
he leaves her
without a word

Gabriel Sawicki
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

humid afternoon -
scattered on satin sheets
first cherries

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

First Place -- 27 pts
mexican village
the old woman sips soup
from a turtle shell

Denise Lizarraga
(1,7,10) = 27 pts

* For me this communicates a meditative moment where life is so hard one must chose one life over another. As the name is unknown to me it didn't influence my choice.

Second Place -- 24 pts
winter sky -
a bleached turtle shell
full of leaves

Chris Eichenberger
(2,3,12) = 24 pts

* I would give this haiku more pts. if I could....lovely imagery
* An appealing visual haiku; I see the scene as bleak and beautiful.

Third Place -- 22 pts
show and tell--
his box turtle
won't come out

aom (tim)
(0,4,14) = 22 pts

* I share the young one's disappointment and chagrin.
* Excellent! I'd give this one more points, if I had them. How often does nature not co-operate with mankind's intentions? VERY WELL DONE! THE BEST poem, IMO!

Fourth Place -- 21 pts
old turtle
lagging behind
its shadow

Petar Tchouhov
(2,3,9) = 21 pts

Fifth Place -- 20 pts
egg moon -
a green turtle climbs
the beach

(2,4,6) = 20 pts

Sixth Place -- 19 pts
I too wish to think
outside the box

Tom Painting
(0,6,7) = 19 pts

Seventh Place -- 18 pts
just a matter
of time

Mary Lee McClure
(1,6,3) = 18 pts

* Very concise, "time" can be taken two ways: turtles live long, or turtles are slow moving creatures.

summer morning –
a white butterfly warms up
on a turtle's back

Zhanna P. Rader
(1,4,7) = 18 pts

Eighth Place -- 16 pts
on his upper arm
the old man's tattoo
a wrinkled turtle

max verhart
(2,2,6) = 16 pts

* the indirect approach to a topic, this time of aging. The word 'old' becomes superfluous, but I'm voting on the theme I've identified of "show, not tell."

Ninth Place -- 12 pts
turtle-neck sweater
--hiding the hickey
from dad

brenda roberts
(0,2,8) = 12 pts

* Hahaha, teenaged daughter! Good ah-ha moment.

Tenth Place -- 10 pts
at the curb
running away from home
the boy's turtle

Cliff Roberts
(1,2,3) = 10 pts

to let the sea turtle pass
night jogger

susan delphine delaney
(0,3,4) = 10 pts

holding traffic . . .
the turtle
in the old man's hands

Dustin Neal
(0,3,4) = 10 pts

midday sun --
a turtle's shadow
on the algae

Laryalee Fraser
(0,2,6) = 10 pts

Eleventh -- 9 pts
the mother winces
as her baby's head pushes
through the turtleneck

cate juno
(1,2,2) = 9 pts

milky-colored moon -
heave of a green sea turtle
laying white eggs

Bruce H. Feingold
(1,1,4) = 9 pts

a turtle's shadow
on the move

Ann K. Schwader
(0,4,1) = 9 pts

Twelfth Place -- 8 pts
in the sand...
tourist turtles
up to their necks

(0,3,2) = 8 pts

truck stop café-
a turtle shell ashtray
lit by the moon

r o n . m o s s
(0,2,4) = 8 pts

* Echoes Basho's ideal of mixing the mundane object with the elegant topic.

pottery class--
the little girl who works so slowly
makes a turtle

Linda P.
(0,1,6) = 8 pts

Thirteenth Place -- 7 pts
traffic jam
a turtle walks

(0,2,3) = 7 pts

first sunbeam
chasing the turtle
up the dune

(0,2,3) = 7 pts

reflecting pond
a box turtle travels
the length of my cane

ed markowski
(0,2,3) = 7 pts

* Not funny in the way #8 is, but again shows us the turtle is slow without merely telling us that.

a little boy peers through
an empty turtle shell

Marie Summers
(0,0,7) = 7 pts

* good connection between the foreclosure on a mortgage and the empty turtle shell.
* Technically okay and a telling metaphor, it still read to me without 'heart' like the 'empty shell'.

Fourteenth Place -- 6 pts
a turtle race...
though you came last,
you're my turtle!

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

* Almost 'too cute' it none-the-less communicates its loyalty.

Fifteenth Place -- 5 pts
Boston Aquarium
the turtle scrapes its fin
on a window frame

Bruce Ross
(1,0,2) = 5 pts

through the garden
turtle speed

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

snapping turtle
the swimming hole

Barbara Snow
(0,1,3) = 5 pts

her pet turtle
left in my care—
we're still friends

Bill Kenney
(0,1,3) = 5 pts

summer storm-
a turtle paperweight
holds down my papers

angelee deodhar
(0,1,3) = 5 pts

Sixteenth Place -- 4 pts
turtle dove
how like a pigeon's
is your poop

Colin Stewart Jones
(1,0,1) = 4 pts

the gardener trips
over a turtle sculpture--
purple dahlias

(1,0,1) = 4 pts

a sandy beach—
in my meager pot
turtle soup

John Daleiden
(0,2,0) = 4 pts

summer breeze -
another turtle arrives
to the pond

Israel López Balan
(0,1,2) = 4 pts

stepping into the road
to help him cross
I become the turtle

suzume shi
(0,1,2) = 4 pts

water hole
the three-legged turtle

polona o.
(0,0,4) = 4 pts

* Three-legged: poor fellow had a mishap or narrow escape.

twilight beach -
a turtle peeps out
peeps in

Narayanan Raghunathan
(0,0,4) = 4 pts

summer evening
another pink turtle
slips into the sea

j blain
(0,0,4) = 4 pts

Seventeenth Place -- 3 pts
the turtle lies still
in the shadows --
no one is home

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

garden turtle
just can't move - cherry petal
on its back

Boris Nazansky
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

up-ended turtle:
head and limbs flail
in the gentle breeze

Vaughn Seward
(0,1,1) = 3 pts

sea turtle-
in the moonlight
returns to the ocean

Mary Chapman
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

turtle in box
climbing all day
nowhere to go

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

* Leaves the reader with a sad feeling. Poor confined creature.Well written.

turtle crossing
it's suggested that you
bring your lunch

Karen Briggs
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

* I expected ku on slow turtles. This says so without directly saying so.
* I like the dry humor here.
* Hahaha! good senryu! Too bad I didn't have enough points to vote for this one, too!

painted turtles bask
on a mud bank

Warren Gossett
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

crossing path
with a turtle

john tiong chunghoo
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

day moon
the turtle naps
under a shade tree

Carmel Lively Westerman
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

walking home
under a full moon
snapping turtle

Lynne Rees
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

turtle derby
rookie journalist's
photo finish

-- ushi
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

* Again the indirect approach to showing us real life. Yet the humor is not for the turtle, but the career of journalism.
* The journalist's been given an "unimportant" assignment? A lot to be construed here. Nice.

uphill climb
a turtle
races beside me

doris kasson
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

evening stroll --
whistling granddad overtakes
a turtle

Nancy Smith
(0,0,3) = 3 pts

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