Congratulations to Paul O. Williams, winner of our Kigo section and to Nancy Nitrio, winner of our Free Format section!
March 2008 Results
Kigo Theme:
Anything Spring
First Place – 32 Points
near dusk--
a tadpole surfacing
bursts the moon
P. O. Williams
(3,7,9) = 32 pts
Good word choice, imagery and phrasing.
The sense of breakthrough here is almost audible.
Second Place – 24 Points
mossy bank
the doe nuzzles
her swollen belly
Susan Constable
(1,6,9) = 24 pts
As a city boy, I must confess I've never seen this, but it sounds right.
It is near time and so skillfully presented that we note it for ourselves. This is haiku.
Third Place – 21 Points
spring night
the astronomer finds
a hole in his sock
Petar Tchouhov
(2,6,3) = 21 pts
This haiku's sense of fun is appealing.
Loved the story of this! Great balance, too... the astronomer unable to resist the tug of the sky, the cold hole in the sock vs. the stars' fiery pinpricks in the night sky... really nice.
18 Points
spring darkness
a faint light
from his workshop
w. f. owen
(2,2,8) = 18 pts
The paradoxes contained in "spring darkness" and "faint light" bounce off each other and add wonderful depth. The mystery contained in "his workshop" (Who is "he"? What project is he working on?) also adds to the feeling of excitement: the poet so skillfully shows us that spring is a season pregnant with possibilities.
I love the quiet, haunting quality of this.
young grass -
the silent walk
of a paperboy
Jacek M.
(1,3,9) = 18 pts
The boy's age and the grass's age are parallel, but there is a more complex, evolutionary relationship between the age of the grass and the paper (made from trees). I almost feel the grass as witness here: observing the non-languaged, graceful, animal movements of the boy and the codified, symbol-laden newspaper.
17 Points
spring wind . . .
a tulip undresses
petal by petal
Mary Davila
(0,2,13) = 17 pts
16 Points
morning breeze -
a robin lands on
the basketball hoop
Israel Lopez Balan
(0,2,12) = 16 pts
A moment full of the promise of spring, nicely observed.
13 Points
between me
and the preacher--
her Easter Bonnet
Pris Campbell
(0,3,7) = 13 pts
I like that there is more than one level to this haiku.
This one says so much in these three little lines. I really appreciate the layers of meaning.
This haiku could have easily crossed the line into sentimentality by saying " warm sun", "a new chick" or "baby's hands" but, by carefully keeping just this side of the line it sketches - for me - a pure, unadulterated, perfectly lovely but not sickly-sweet moment of spring.
I like the openness of the phrase, then the lovely surprise of line three.
last snow patch --
the smell
of new sneakers
Ann K. Schwader
(1,2,6) = 13 pts
I'll take this over the smell of old sneakers any time! Nice homely moment, though.
I like the implied image of dirty old sneakers (or even boots) being tossed aside and replaced with something that's whiter and brighter than the melting snow.
12 Points
two in the morning —
the rain and the roof
are talking
Shelley Krause
(1,4,1) = 12 pts
the sun
goes in and out—
running errands
Marylouise Knight
(2,2,2) = 12 pts
11 Points
urban spring
first daffodil
in empty Coke bottle
Gabriel Sawicki
(0,4,3) = 11 pts
daffodils in wind
our first child
stands
Alice Frampton
(0,3,5) = 11 pts
10 Points
spring wind --
a swirl of traffic round
the old stone church
Isabelle Prondzynski
(1,2,3) = 10 pts
For me, this is an evocation of the emptiness of "Easter and Christmas" Christianity.
sunlight
a chick cupped in
little hands
Beth Powell
(1,1,5) = 10 pts
Sunshine and the chick perfectly paired.
spring gust
the butterfly bows
with the daisy
Meredith Stern Cavalieri
(0,3,4) = 10 pts
9 Points
morning chirp
snail's track on the fence
reflecting dawn
Boris Nazansky
(1,1,4) = 9 pts
first date
she shows me
young buds
Norsto
(0,1,7) = 9 pts
8 Points
spring breakup
I patch a crack
in the plaster
tom painting
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
I tended to prefer the entries that avoided the word "spring," but this witty jux won me over.
Warming ice may be the easiest way to find faults but this author points out another and at home.
apple trees-
the brightness
of the new leaves
Rita Odeh
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
Nothing deep about this one, but it clearly conveys a moment of pure delight.
cold front approaching
I take a photo
of the cherry blossoms
Ruth Franke
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
spring drizzle
the dancing fingers
at a deaf school
kala ramesh
(0,2,4) = 8 pts
I like that there is more than one level to this haiku.
tiny fists
shaking in the wind
early buds
ruthanne
(0,1,6) = 8 pts
7 Points
her first tooth
under the pillow
early spring buds
Elena Naskova
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
In her palm
a blue butterfly...
the first kiss
Constantin Stroe
(0,3,1) = 7 pts
her daily jogging...
slower now, passing
each pink magnolia
Zhanna P. Rader
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
6 Points
third day of rain--
a couple of puddle ducks
being themselves
Ami
(0,0,6) = 6 pts
The rain it raineth every day, or at least it feels that way sometimes. And that's when we might say "Oh, to be a puddle duck!"
I like how this sounds out loud -- casual and comfortable, like the ducks.
warm sun-
mimosa blossoms
yielding to green
Barbara Campitelli
(0,2,2) = 6 pts
This is more an early summer kigo but it is a beautiful haiku, as gently written as sunlight upon the mimosa.
Good Friday
seed potatoes
already sprouted
Ben Gieske
(0,0,6) = 6 pts
baby coots startled by drifting pollen
Bridget Cougar
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
first spear
of asparagus
winter is dead
gourdman
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
blazing over
scorched hillsides—
spring wildflowers
Melissa Spurr
(1,1,1) = 6 pts
A haunting juxtaposition for the California fires. Such irony that something so beautiful can blossom from the same land that months earlier was a devastating, horrific disaster.
A beautiful but gentle reminder of the trauma that lies just beneath those flowers.
Six very powerful words.
leap day --
the old pond abides
in stillness
Nancy Smith
(1,0,3) = 6 pts
5 Points
spring equinox
the sweet scent
of funeral roses
ed markowski
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
Beautiful balance: the heaviness of the funeral, the lightness of fragrance. I can feel them mingle inside me when I read this poem.
purple lilacs
from grandma-
she stifles a sneeze
Leslie Montgomery
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
widow's garden ~
the first weeds
of Spring
Paul Hodder
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
Neglect as a reflection of loss... moving.
side street
a sleeping policeman halts
cherry petals
RaV
(0,2,1) = 5 pts
Lovely picture, and made me smile. I hope that sufficient voters know the English expression "sleeping policeman"!
traffic
forced to choose -
migrating toads
Sara Winteridge
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
4 Points
Saint Patrick's Day
a woodpecker plays drum
on an oak tree
Audrey Downey
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
washed by rain
a robin
flicks its tail
carol pearce-worthington
(0,0,4) = 4 pts
I trim the heather
a bee stumbles
onto my hand
Harvey Jenkins
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
potted primroses
a motorcycle rips
in the distance
Jennifer Corpe
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
blizzard conditions--
a snow-covered robin
stops by my window
jill
(0,2,0) = 4 pts
spring breeze
new baby joins in
the birds' chirp
john tiong chunghoo
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
a bit brighter
after the lullaby...
sleepy moon
Josh Wikoff
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
in the church
Mozart's Requiem -
spring outside
Li Ree
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
frozen river;
and suddenly..
gurgling sounds.
manoj saranathan
(0,2,0) = 4 pts
noon bells––
the daffodil
knows something
Sabine Miller
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
Green flags
wave again...
spring
Vasile Moldovan
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
3 Points
songs from a tree
the return of the
mockingbird
Bill Hudson
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
late breakfast
mourning doves nesting
on the windowsill
Bill Kenney
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
cherry blossoms
the footbridge arches
into drifts of white
Catherine J.S. Lee
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
March winds
blowing through the branches
twigs from a new nest
Ella Wagemakers
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
evening sun leant against the last bag of compost
Helen Buckingham
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
snow melt
dodging pot holes
and road work signs
Judith Gorgone
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
Nothing says 'early spring' quite like a good Road Work Ahead sign!
boat on sands -
spring sun bathes
on her bottom
Lech Szeglowski
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
at night
in the forest --
blossoming mold
Michael McClintock
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
playing on the FM
a song half-remembered...
spring again
sanjuktaa
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
General Comments:
There are so many really good ones this time I had difficulty deciding.
Is there any topic/kigo that invites more haiku cliches? But there are a lot of fresh looks at familiar themes among this month's entries.
Free Format Theme:
Aging
First Place – 27 Points
gardenias …
a summer dance
so long ago
Nancy Nitrio
(1,7,10) = 27 pts
Second Place – 21 Points
full moon -
so many vines
on the banyan tree
Judith Gorgone
(2,4,7) = 21 pts
This is a wonderfully lyrical depiction of aging.
Third Place – 18 Points
winter beach
my rough hands choose
the smoother stones
Jan O'Loughlin
(0,3,12) = 18 pts
I started liking this at "winter beach"... we've all been there... and I can FEEL everything: the rough skin, the smooth cold stones...
cold rain
a wrinkled hand traces drops
on the window
Warren Gossett
(0,4,10) = 18 pts
17 Points
winter sun…
the scent of lemon
from old wood
Nancy Smith
(0,4,9) = 17 pts
16 Points
class reunion
I introduce myself
with each step
Jacek M.
(2,2,6) = 16 pts
I like the deliberate pace of this, in keeping with the mental image.
forgetting the way home he sits in a field of flowers
w. f. owen
(0,2,12) = 16 pts
14 Points
remarkable
getting smaller every year
eye of the needle
emile molhuysen
(1,2,7) = 14 pts
again at the anniversary
she unfolds
the yellowing letter
Leslie Montgomery
(0,4,6) = 14 pts
13 Points
she looks at her own
and recognizes
her mother's hands
Carmel Lively Westerman
(2,3,1) = 13 pts
spring evening
grandma telling
the same story
Dorota Pyra
(0,3,7) = 13 pts
I'm envisioning a circle of rapt young listeners.
blue asters...
father's eyes
no longer know me
Irene Golas
(1,1,8) = 13 pts
birds return . . .
the steady pace
of his walking stick
kala ramesh
(1,1,8) = 13 pts
I love the humor in this and, unfortunately, how easily I can relate to it.
12 Points
again he sighs
and tells her his name
afternoon fog
Catherine J.S. Lee
(0,3,6) = 12 pts
A poignant reminder of memory loss and how difficult it is for everyone involved.
face in the mirror
a map
of my life
Frances McCarthy
(2,1,4) = 12 pts
11 Points
antique store window...
her childhood doll's face
Melissa Spurr
(1,2,4) = 11 pts
how did I do it--
touching my big toe
to my nose?
P. O. Williams
(0,2,7) = 11 pts
Anyone past a 'certain age' has surely asked themselves this question.
This made me chuckle.
only caramels
left in the candy bowl -
old-age home
Susan Constable
(1,1,6) = 11 pts
It's sad to think that not many 'young' visitors have come by to eat any either. Very telling! Well done!
10 Points
55th spring
the cardiologist inserts
a new balloon
ed markowski
(0,3,4) = 10 pts
cherry petal
my daughter's first
shade of lipstick
Josh Wikoff
(0,1,8) = 10 pts
A nice evocation of spring and its transient nature... aging isn't only for the old!
sundown
dad turns on the light
in 1945
Laurene
(1,2,3) = 10 pts
8 Points
ninety candles
on top of it all
he makes a wish
tom painting
(1,2,1) = 8 pts
7 Points
visiting time
she holds
a new tremor
Paul Hodder
(0,2,3) = 7 pts
tugging black gloves
over her liver spots
another funeral
Pris Campbell
(0,1,5) = 7 pts
6 Points
my grandfather --
using less and less
of his cane
Abraham Muuo
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
A nice image!
senior center -
with glasses I see
I fit right in
Alice Frampton
(0,0,6) = 6 pts
I can see the rueful smile of recognition.
just before closing
an old man browses
the self-help books
Bill Kenney
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
first gray hair
the one secret-
in our marriage
D.M.
(0,2,2) = 6 pts
can't forget
to stop worrying
can't remember why
Mr. PC
(0,1,4) = 6 pts
5 Points
my grandmother
looking at me closely --
the frown on her face
Anne Wairimu
(1,0,2) = 5 pts
this year kids garden
grandma sleeps on the porch swing
cats curled on her lap
ARW
(1,1,0) = 5 pts
stiff fingers delete
old email addresses
dead friends
gourdman
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
morning sun--
cutting up pop's
egg and toast
jt
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
crackling record
a smile on my granny's
wrinkled face
Petar Tchouhov
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
sunny evening --
my grandmother talking
to herself
Solomon Kilelu
(0,0,5) = 5 pts
winter night-
melts each moment
the candle
vishnu kapoor
(1,0,2) = 5 pts
4 Points
the old janitor
locks the library doors early
late winter evening
Bruce Ross
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
afternoon nap
gray strands of hair
on the cushion
Ella Wagemakers
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
dawn
half numb
half feeling my age
Helen Buckingham
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
storm damage --
the trees of my youth
are growing old
Isabelle Prondzynski
(1,0,1) = 4 pts
how few candles
in grandpa's birthday cake –
leap year
Israel Lopez Balan
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
another spring;
memories of sakura..
grow blurry.
manoj saranathan
(0,2,0) = 4 pts
"1890" --
under the owner's name
carved in the oak
Michael McClintock
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
forest stroll
the flicker of sunbeams
on her wrinkles
RaV
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
my empty check mate
dad... the Master
can't remember his moves
Rose Marie Stutts
(0,2,0) = 4 pts
octogenarian -
the seed he chooses
will flower this year
Sara Winteridge
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
3 Points
holiday politics
my brother's frown
my father's
Ann K. Schwader
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
new spring-
seeing in the mirror
a collection of years
Barbara Campitelli
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
a spawned-out salmon
through
my reflection...deeper
Barbara Snow
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
winter day
she inherits
her grandmother's cane
Beth Powell
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
too quickly again
the skunk stripe on my head--
time to dye
Bridget Cougar
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
old age--
he trips
on rice
carol pearce-worthington
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
afternoon picnic
our hair grayer,
the rocks harder
Deborah P Kolodji
(1,0,0) = 3 pts
Aging in an outdoor setting, easy to imagine and feel.
my gray beard
grandson borrowed
my razor
Jim Applegate
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
little moon
you are also left alone
quite still
Jon Baldwin
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
humming
with the 60s protest song
a senior citizen
Mary Stevens
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
almond blossoms -
an old man squatting
near an open cage
Rita Odeh
(0,1,1) = 3 pts
A poignant story there... for the reader to complete... enough is left unsaid to open all kinds of possibilities!
General Comments:
A challenging theme, which I have enjoyed, both writing and reading. It was quite hard to write about "ageing", rather than "age" or "old age". A good crop of poems.