March 2008 Kukai

Kigo Theme:

Anything Spring

First Place – 32 Points

near dusk--

a tadpole surfacing

bursts the moon

P. O. Williams

(3,7,9) = 32 pts

Good word choice, imagery and phrasing.

The sense of breakthrough here is almost audible.

Second Place – 24 Points

mossy bank

the doe nuzzles

her swollen belly

Susan Constable

(1,6,9) = 24 pts

As a city boy, I must confess I've never seen this, but it sounds right.

It is near time and so skillfully presented that we note it for ourselves. This is haiku.

Third Place – 21 Points

spring night

the astronomer finds

a hole in his sock

Petar Tchouhov

(2,6,3) = 21 pts

This haiku's sense of fun is appealing.

Loved the story of this!  Great balance, too... the astronomer unable to resist the tug of the sky, the cold hole in the sock vs. the stars' fiery pinpricks in the night sky... really nice.

18 Points

spring darkness

a faint light

from his workshop

w. f. owen

(2,2,8) = 18 pts

The paradoxes contained in "spring darkness" and "faint light" bounce off each other and add wonderful depth. The mystery contained in "his workshop" (Who is "he"? What project is he working on?) also adds to the feeling of excitement: the poet so skillfully shows us that spring is a season pregnant with possibilities.

I love the quiet, haunting quality of this.

young grass -

the silent walk

of a paperboy

Jacek M.

(1,3,9) = 18 pts

The boy's age and the grass's age are parallel, but there is a more complex, evolutionary relationship between the age of the grass and the paper (made from trees). I almost feel the grass as witness here: observing the non-languaged, graceful, animal movements of the boy and the codified, symbol-laden newspaper.

17 Points

spring wind . . .

a tulip undresses

petal by petal

Mary Davila

(0,2,13) = 17 pts

16 Points

morning breeze -

a robin lands on

the basketball hoop

Israel Lopez Balan

(0,2,12) = 16 pts

A moment full of the promise of spring, nicely observed.

13 Points

between me

and the preacher--

her Easter Bonnet

Pris Campbell

(0,3,7) = 13 pts

I like that there is more than one level to this haiku.

This one says so much in these three little lines.  I really appreciate the layers of meaning.

This haiku could have easily crossed the line into sentimentality by saying " warm sun", "a new chick" or "baby's hands" but, by carefully keeping just this side of the line it sketches - for me - a pure, unadulterated, perfectly lovely but not sickly-sweet moment of spring.

I like the openness of the phrase, then the lovely surprise of line three.

last snow patch --

the smell

of new sneakers

Ann K. Schwader

(1,2,6) = 13 pts

I'll take this over the smell of old sneakers any time! Nice homely moment, though.

I like the implied image of dirty old sneakers (or even boots) being tossed aside and replaced with something that's whiter and brighter than the melting snow.

12 Points

two in the morning —

the rain and the roof

are talking

Shelley Krause

(1,4,1) = 12 pts

the sun

goes in and out—

running errands

Marylouise Knight

(2,2,2) = 12 pts

11 Points

urban spring

first daffodil

in empty Coke bottle

Gabriel Sawicki

(0,4,3) = 11 pts

daffodils in wind

our first child

stands

Alice Frampton

(0,3,5) = 11 pts

10 Points

spring wind --

a swirl of traffic round

the old stone church

Isabelle Prondzynski

(1,2,3) = 10 pts

For me, this is an evocation of the emptiness of "Easter and Christmas" Christianity.

sunlight

a chick cupped in

little hands

Beth Powell

(1,1,5) = 10 pts

Sunshine and the chick perfectly paired.

spring gust

the butterfly bows

with the daisy

Meredith Stern Cavalieri

(0,3,4) = 10 pts

9 Points

morning chirp

snail's track on the fence

reflecting dawn

Boris Nazansky

(1,1,4) = 9 pts

first date

she shows me

young buds

Norsto

(0,1,7) = 9 pts

8 Points

spring breakup

I patch a crack

in the plaster

tom painting

(0,2,4) = 8 pts

I tended to prefer the entries that avoided the word "spring," but this witty jux won me over.

Warming ice may be the easiest way to find faults but this author points out another and at home.

apple trees-

the brightness

of the new leaves

Rita Odeh

(0,2,4) = 8 pts

Nothing deep about this one, but it clearly conveys a moment of pure delight.

cold front approaching

I take a photo

of the cherry blossoms

Ruth Franke

(0,2,4) = 8 pts

spring drizzle

the dancing fingers

at a deaf school

kala ramesh

(0,2,4) = 8 pts

I like that there is more than one level to this haiku.

tiny fists

shaking in the wind

early buds

ruthanne

(0,1,6) = 8 pts

7 Points

her first tooth

under the pillow

early spring buds

Elena Naskova

(0,2,3) = 7 pts

In her palm

a blue butterfly...

the first kiss

Constantin Stroe

(0,3,1) = 7 pts

her daily jogging...

slower now, passing

each pink magnolia

Zhanna P. Rader

(0,2,3) = 7 pts

6 Points

third day of rain--

a couple of puddle ducks

being themselves

Ami

(0,0,6) = 6 pts

The rain it raineth every day, or at least it feels that way sometimes. And that's when we might say "Oh, to be a puddle duck!"

I like how this sounds out loud -- casual and comfortable, like the ducks.

warm sun-

mimosa blossoms

yielding to green

Barbara Campitelli

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

This is more an early summer kigo but it is a beautiful haiku, as gently written as sunlight upon the mimosa.

Good Friday    

seed potatoes

already sprouted

Ben Gieske

(0,0,6) = 6 pts

baby coots startled by drifting pollen

Bridget Cougar

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

first spear

of asparagus

winter is dead

gourdman

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

blazing over

scorched hillsides—

spring wildflowers

Melissa Spurr

(1,1,1) = 6 pts

A haunting juxtaposition for the California fires. Such irony that something so beautiful can blossom from the same land that months earlier was a devastating, horrific disaster.

A beautiful but gentle reminder of the trauma that lies just beneath those flowers. 

Six very powerful words.

leap day --

the old pond abides

in stillness

Nancy Smith

(1,0,3) = 6 pts

5 Points

spring equinox

     the sweet scent

of funeral roses

ed markowski

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

Beautiful balance:  the heaviness of the funeral, the lightness of fragrance. I can feel them mingle inside me when I read this poem.

purple lilacs

from grandma-

she stifles a sneeze

Leslie Montgomery

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

widow's garden ~

the first weeds

of Spring

Paul Hodder

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

Neglect as a reflection of loss... moving.

side street

a sleeping policeman halts

cherry petals

RaV

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

Lovely picture, and made me smile. I hope that sufficient voters know the English expression "sleeping policeman"!

traffic

forced to choose -

migrating toads

Sara Winteridge

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

4 Points

Saint Patrick's Day

a woodpecker plays drum

on an oak tree

Audrey Downey

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

washed by rain

a robin

flicks its tail

carol pearce-worthington

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

I trim the heather

a bee stumbles

onto my hand

Harvey Jenkins

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

potted primroses

a motorcycle rips

in the distance

Jennifer Corpe

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

blizzard conditions--

a snow-covered robin

stops by my window

jill

(0,2,0) = 4 pts

spring breeze

new baby joins in

the birds' chirp

john tiong chunghoo

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

a bit brighter

after the lullaby...

sleepy moon

Josh Wikoff

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

in the church

Mozart's Requiem -

spring outside

Li Ree

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

frozen river;

and suddenly..

gurgling sounds.

manoj saranathan

(0,2,0) = 4 pts

noon bells––

the daffodil

knows something

Sabine Miller

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

Green flags

wave again...

spring

Vasile Moldovan

(1,0,1) = 4 pts

3 Points

songs from a tree

the return of the

mockingbird

Bill Hudson

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

late breakfast

mourning doves nesting

on the windowsill

Bill Kenney

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

cherry blossoms

the footbridge arches

into drifts of white

Catherine J.S. Lee

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

March winds

blowing through the branches

twigs from a new nest

Ella Wagemakers

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

evening sun leant against the last bag of compost

Helen Buckingham

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

snow melt

dodging pot holes

and road work signs

Judith Gorgone

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

Nothing says 'early spring' quite like a good Road Work Ahead sign!

boat on sands -

spring sun bathes

on her bottom

Lech Szeglowski

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

at night

in the forest --

blossoming mold

Michael McClintock

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

playing on the FM

a song half-remembered...

spring again

sanjuktaa

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

General Comments:

There are so many really good ones this time I had difficulty deciding.

Is there any topic/kigo that invites more haiku cliches? But there are a lot of fresh looks at familiar themes among this month's entries.

Free Format Theme:

Aging

First Place – 27 Points

gardenias …

a summer dance

so long ago

Nancy Nitrio

(1,7,10) = 27 pts

Second Place – 21 Points

full moon -

so many vines

on the banyan tree

Judith Gorgone

(2,4,7) = 21 pts

This is a wonderfully lyrical depiction of aging.

Third Place – 18 Points

winter beach

my rough hands choose

the smoother stones

Jan O'Loughlin

(0,3,12) = 18 pts

I started liking this at "winter beach"... we've all been there... and I can FEEL everything: the rough skin, the smooth cold stones...

cold rain

a wrinkled hand traces drops

on the window

Warren Gossett

(0,4,10) = 18 pts

17 Points

winter sun…

the scent of lemon

from old wood

Nancy Smith

(0,4,9) = 17 pts

16 Points

class reunion

I introduce myself

with each step

Jacek M.

(2,2,6) = 16 pts

I like the deliberate pace of this, in keeping with the mental image.

forgetting the way home he sits in a field of flowers

w. f. owen

(0,2,12) = 16 pts

14 Points

remarkable

getting smaller every year

eye of the needle

emile molhuysen

(1,2,7) = 14 pts

again at the anniversary

she unfolds

the yellowing letter

Leslie Montgomery

(0,4,6) = 14 pts

13 Points

she looks at her own

and recognizes

her mother's hands

Carmel Lively Westerman

(2,3,1) = 13 pts

spring evening

grandma telling

the same story

Dorota Pyra

(0,3,7) = 13 pts

I'm envisioning a circle of rapt young listeners.

blue asters...

father's eyes

no longer know me

Irene Golas

(1,1,8) = 13 pts

birds return . . .

    the steady pace

of his walking stick

kala ramesh

(1,1,8) = 13 pts

I love the humor in this and, unfortunately, how easily I can relate to it.

12 Points

again he sighs

and tells her his name

afternoon fog

Catherine J.S. Lee

(0,3,6) = 12 pts

A poignant reminder of memory loss and how difficult it is for everyone involved.

face in the mirror

a map

of my life

Frances McCarthy

(2,1,4) = 12 pts

11 Points

antique store window...

her childhood doll's face

Melissa Spurr

(1,2,4) = 11 pts

how did I do it--

touching my big toe

to my nose?

P. O. Williams

(0,2,7) = 11 pts

Anyone past a 'certain age' has surely asked themselves this question.

This made me chuckle.

only caramels

left in the candy bowl -

old-age home

Susan Constable

(1,1,6) = 11 pts

It's sad to think that not many 'young' visitors have come by to eat any either. Very telling! Well done!

10 Points

55th spring

  the cardiologist inserts

a new balloon

ed markowski

(0,3,4) = 10 pts

cherry petal

my daughter's first

shade of lipstick

Josh Wikoff

(0,1,8) = 10 pts

A nice evocation of spring and its transient nature... aging isn't only for the old!

sundown

dad turns on the light

in 1945

Laurene

(1,2,3) = 10 pts

8 Points

ninety candles

on top of it all

he makes a wish

tom painting

(1,2,1) = 8 pts

7 Points

visiting time

she holds

a new tremor

Paul Hodder

(0,2,3) = 7 pts

tugging black gloves

over her liver spots

another funeral

Pris Campbell

(0,1,5) = 7 pts

6 Points

my grandfather --

using less and less

of his cane

Abraham Muuo

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

A nice image!

senior center -

with glasses I see

I fit right in

Alice Frampton

(0,0,6) = 6 pts

I can see the rueful smile of recognition.

just before closing

an old man browses

the self-help books

Bill Kenney

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

first gray hair

the one secret-

in our marriage

D.M.

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

can't forget

to stop worrying

can't remember why

Mr. PC

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

5 Points

my grandmother

looking at me closely --

the frown on her face

Anne Wairimu

(1,0,2) = 5 pts

this year kids garden

grandma sleeps on the porch swing

cats curled on her lap

ARW

(1,1,0) = 5 pts

stiff fingers delete

old email addresses

dead friends

gourdman

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

morning sun--

cutting up pop's

egg and toast

jt

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

crackling record

a smile on my granny's

wrinkled face

Petar Tchouhov

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

sunny evening --

my grandmother talking

to herself

Solomon Kilelu

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

winter night-

melts each moment

the candle

vishnu kapoor

(1,0,2) = 5 pts

4 Points

the old janitor

locks the library doors early

late winter evening

Bruce Ross

(1,0,1) = 4 pts

afternoon nap

gray strands of hair

on the cushion

Ella Wagemakers

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

dawn

half numb

half feeling my age

Helen Buckingham

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

storm damage --

the trees of my youth

are growing old

Isabelle Prondzynski

(1,0,1) = 4 pts

how few candles

in grandpa's birthday cake –

leap year

Israel Lopez Balan

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

another spring;

memories of sakura..

grow blurry.

manoj saranathan

(0,2,0) = 4 pts

"1890" --

under the owner's name

carved in the oak

Michael McClintock

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

forest stroll

the flicker of sunbeams

on her wrinkles

RaV

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

my empty check mate

dad... the Master

can't remember his moves

Rose Marie Stutts

(0,2,0) = 4 pts

octogenarian -

the seed he chooses

will flower this year

Sara Winteridge

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

3 Points

holiday politics

my brother's frown

my father's

Ann K. Schwader

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

new spring-

seeing in the mirror

a collection of years

Barbara Campitelli

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

a spawned-out salmon

    through

my reflection...deeper

Barbara Snow

(1,0,0) = 3 pts

winter day

she inherits

her grandmother's cane

Beth Powell

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

too quickly again

the skunk stripe on my head--

time to dye

Bridget Cougar

(1,0,0) = 3 pts

old age--

he trips

on rice

carol pearce-worthington

(1,0,0) = 3 pts

afternoon picnic

our hair grayer,

the rocks harder

Deborah P Kolodji

(1,0,0) = 3 pts

Aging in an outdoor setting, easy to imagine and feel.

my gray beard

grandson borrowed

my razor

Jim Applegate

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

little moon

you are also left alone

quite still

Jon Baldwin

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

humming

with the 60s protest song

a senior citizen

Mary Stevens

(0,0,3) = 3 pts

almond blossoms -

an old man squatting

near an open cage

Rita Odeh

(0,1,1) = 3 pts

A poignant story there... for the reader to complete... enough is left unsaid to open all kinds of possibilities!

General Comments:

A challenging theme, which I have enjoyed, both writing and reading. It was quite hard to write about "ageing", rather than "age" or "old age". A good crop of poems.