9th Annual Poets' Choice Kukai 2011

Kigo Section Results

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1st Place - 30 Points

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first light ...

out of the shadows

a deer

Svetlana Marisova

(3,6,9) = 30 pts

**With sight comes the awareness of other beings.  This haiku is 

almost a proverb. 

**The deer's timid nature and his home in the light and shadow 

of the woodland is perfectly portrayed in this haiku.

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2nd Place - 22 Points

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flea market

the antique bowl

fills with the sun

Keiko

(2,3,10) = 22 pts

**My vote is for the hugeness of thought the image in the last line 

implies with the unexpected shift from an old small object to the 

ageless sun, the center of our universe.)

**A haiku that bids us be aware.

**I like the visual effect here of the rising sun slowly filling the bowl.

**I like how this haiku shows how something made by human hands 

in a by gone age still serves its function and is present in this very moment. It has a feeling of elegance.

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3rd Place - 21 Points

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a flake on my tongue...

the taste

of winter sky

Melissa Spurr

(1,5,8) = 21 pts

** It's so rare to get a "flavor" haiku. Snow tastes kind of metallic and the winter sky has a similar flat color. Both are cold. Also, I love how this one telescopes out from the small to incredibly large.

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20 Points

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coming of summer

a loon empties its call

into the lake

Francine Banwarth

(0,6,8) = 20 pts

**All things seem to be emerging from this haiku.

**How could one better capture the feeling of loneliness that the call of the loon evokes.

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16 Points

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winter sky --

branches of a bare tree

full of stars

Israel López Balan

(0,4,8) = 16 pts

**A beautiful picture.   The stark black of the tree limbs contrasted with the gleaming star light.

**paints such a beautiful picture in just three lines.

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15 Points

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Her illness

The moth so close

To the flame

Angelika Kolompar

(0,3,9) = 15 pts

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14 Points

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starlit morning

the voice of spring

in the waterfall

Don Baird

(0,4,6) = 14 pts

**This is such a personal experience for me that to read it written by another is joyful

**This evokes three complementary pictures and the voice can be of both spring and the waterfall.

spring fever

the book in her hands

upside down

--Jacek M.

(0,3,8) = 14 pts

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13 Points

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solstice

the stone goose

fledged with snow

Earl Keener 

(2,1,5) = 13 pts

**This is my favorite!

freshly cut lemons...

the stillness

of the wind chimes

Liz Rule

(2,1,5) = 13 pts

**This mystifies me and thus its fascination

the silence

between horses

in spring rain

Li Ree 

(2,1,5) = 13 pts

**This one gets deeper line by line

**If you have even seen horses in a field on a rainy day, you know that this depicts the mood expertly.

**A perfect moment-horses at one with the natural world in a way that we find hard to emulate.

**There's a horse farm on my way to work, and I've often seen two horses standing separately, but quite definitely connected with each other by some invisible link. The spring rain is as soft as that connection. My absolute favorite haiku of this group.

big enough

for coyote howls

winter sky

Chandra Bales

(1,1,8) = 13 pts

**This is a lovely haiku that embodies the experience in such a way that it is very real.

**I like the way this haiku shows us the nature of the coyote in its larger environment-a wildness that is now in danger.

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12 Points

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flea market...

the itch

to buy something

Michele L. Harvey

(0,4,4) = 12 pts

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11 Points

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the coming of summer

a boy drags a stick

along my fence

Garry Eaton

(1,1,6) = 11 pts

**A lovely picture that reminds us that seasons happen, not just in rustic settings, but where ever we are.  An evocative haiku.

**Though one may be an adult with fences built around property, it is nice to remember, for a moment, the freedom, hopefulness and unthinking leisure of childhood.

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10 Points

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spring fever...

grandmother taps

on the barometer

Cristina-Monica Moldoveanu

(1,0,7) = 10 pts

** I love how the word "taps" conveys the impatience grandma feels for the warmer temperatures. Also, "fever" and a device that measures temperature support each other, while "spring" and "grandma" contrast. A nicely textured senryu.

morning walk --

my daughter counts

twelve shades of green

-- Chitra Rajappa

(0,2,6) = 10 pts

**The joy of seeing through a child's eyes and being broadened by that experience.

old age home ——

the tea's lemon slice

out of juice

Roberta Beary

(0,1,8) = 10 pts

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8 Points

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dawn--

the weight

of the coming rain

David Grayson

(0,2,4) = 8 pts

**Now that I think about it, one can feel the heaviness of an approaching storm.  Very perceptive haiku. 

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7 Points

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brushing snow

off the swing

swoop of a kinglet

Alan S. Bridges 

(0,2,3) = 7 pts

**I like the motion involved here and the parallel ark of a swing and the swoop of a kinglet. Why brush off the snow except to take a swing?

**It's the surprise that I appreciate about this poem. I picture a human brushing the snow off the swing, maybe to sit down. But a kinglet does it instead. How lucky of the poet to have witnessed this moment.

winter dawn . . .

humming along

with the furnace

Cara Holman

(0,0,7) = 7 pts

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6 Points

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paper lantern

a moth's shadow dances

on the wall

--Jacek M.

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

moth balls --

the scent of childhood

from the woolens

Gautam Nadkarni

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

**Very evocative -- I like the way this uses the sense of smell.

flea market

two bees circling

the same flower

Cara Homan

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

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5 Points

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burial--

the bagpiper

parts of geese

Christopher Pickslay 

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

the coming of summer

insects at dusk

in full voice

Adelaide B. Shaw

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

first days of autumn

adding more sugar

to the lemonade

Adelaide B. Shaw 

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

spring fever

she opens the seed catalog

again

April Serock 

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

**This one resonates with me. I have found myself doing this very thing all winter.

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4 Points

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apple blossoms float

on the koi pond...

coming of summer

Alan S. Bridges

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

visiting an old aunt

candied lemon peel

in depression glass

Terri L. French

(0,1,2) = 4 pts

migrating geese

the boy throws one more

skipping stone

Petar Tchouhov

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

spring breakup

the fly fishermen practice

tying knots

Tom Painting 

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

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2 Points

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spring fever --

a baseball

bruises the daffodils

mechaieh

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

General Comments

**In order to recognize as many haiku as I can I am constrained to give each one point.  I do believe, though that these deserve more than one and I hope they will be garnered in the final ingathering of points.

**It was very difficult rating these. I found 12 that I could have easily given 3 points each.  Choosing among these was like picking out a winner from the bunch in a hat.

Commenting helped me cast my final votes.

**Thanks for all your work and time with these haiku. Most enjoyable reading.

Free Format Section Results

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1st Place - 31 Points

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rain on the windshield

the old argument

back and forth

BILL KENNEY

(3,4,14) = 31 pts

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2nd Place - 29 Points

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fresh graves

the rain goes deeper

into the earth

Ron C. Moss 

(1,7,12) = 29 pts

**so many losses this past year, this one hits home

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3rd Place - 17 Points

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after the storm --

the old dry well

full of stars

Manuela Dragomirescu

(3,1,6) = 17 pts

**This is noteworthy because it is beyond our expectations, not only finding water but stars.  How often it happens that something more beautiful happens after disturbances, struggles, pain, etc, which we must first endure and pass through.

and...

cold harbor

an upturned canoe

sheds the rain

Tom Painting

(1,3,8) = 17 pts

**There's a wisdom in this haiku. Haiku that can carry this sort of wisdom simply by observing images enriches me.

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16 Points

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only moonlight

in the little dog bed

winter deepens

Iokua

(1,2,9) = 16 pts

**This is a tender moment shared with us with much love and many days of youth remembered.  Lovely

**Poignant and touching - and I'm not a pet person.  This works more comprehensively than might be expected in nine words.

**That feeling in those first couple of weeks when you look for your pet—maybe upon awakening in the middle of the night—in the places it used to hang out, and it's no longer there. The presence of the moonlight emphasizes the pet's absence, the empty bed.

**This for me has depths of meanings and feelings.

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15 Points

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a lone voice

between thunderclaps

calling her cat

Ruth Powell

(1,2,8) = 15 pts

**captures her loneliness and desperation

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14 Points

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haying weather...

the lemonade jug

perspires

Ruth Powell

(1,2,7) = 14 pts

**brings back memories

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13 Points

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gunshot --

a rush of crows

peppers the sky

~ Isabelle Prondzynski

(2,2,3) = 13 pts

**This has a loud sound and a burst of activity. Wonderful action haiku.

**creates an image

** I love the sounds and the image in #29.

thunder --

my daughter's

whisper

Paul Hodder

(1,2,6) = 13 pts

weaving their song

into a privet hedge

sparrows

Polona 

(0,3,7) = 13 pts

a last touch —

his ashes become

the sea 

 Carol Raisfeld

(0,2,9) = 13 pts

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11 Points

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mirror lake

a heron spears

itself

Polona

(1,1,6) = 11 pts

mountain lake...

between two Milky Ways

the creaking boat

Michael McClintock

(0,2,7) = 11 pts

**In the enormity in which we find ourselves, we realize the boat may not be as sea worthy as we'd hoped.

**The water must be perfectly still to reflect the image of the Milky Way. That is fun enough, in itself. Also, I vaguely remember some kind of (Taoist?) principle that humanity (links? joins?) heaven and earth. And the words "mountain" and "lake" remind me of the I Ching. That the boat is creaking points out the imperfection of that which is human-made, and also draws attention to how quiet the rest of the scene is.

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10 Points

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reeds and river

weaving the mist

together

Michael McClintock

(0,2,6) = 10 pts

**The dance of the universe - the interplay of all things.  Lovely images

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9 Points

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the flute to my lips...

weaving sound

and silence

Li Ree

(0,3,3) = 9 pts

** Only with poetry can the impossible be accomplished, but, again, creation has everything to do with nothing.

frozen river --

she keeps silent

about her past

Dorota Pyra

(0,3,3) = 9 pts

**Women are mysteries which we males will never completely solve.

**a resonant image, links nature and communication

Quietly

In the river stillness

I find myself

Dimitri L.

(0,2,5) = 9 pts

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8 Points

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darkening sky

the crow disappears

into a cloud

Don Baird 

(0,1,6) = 8 pts

garden spider—

weaving the dew

into its web

Cara Holman

(0,1,6) = 8 pts

deepening snow

the corner

the spider fills

Michele L. Harvey

(0,1,6) = 8 pts

**This haiku has so many connotations and ways of understanding it that it is fresh and new each time I come to it.  It's unusal to have a haiku or any poem for that matter, take you in two completely different directions, but this haiku does that for me.  And the contemplation that it may have meant something quite different to the poet sets my mind to contemplating it yet again.

the mood ring

says I'm happy --

winter solitude

Michael McClintock

(0,0,8) = 8 pts

** According to my father, my mother used to wear an opal ring which flashed red when she was upset or angry.

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7 Points

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evening sunlight

crows wade

into their reflection

Judi Honiker

(1,0,4) = 7 pts

**The word “wade” adds a new dimension to this.

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6 Points

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words

we've left unsaid--

Indian summer

Alegria

(0,2,2) = 6 pts

first light --

spider silk on the wing

of the crow

Michael McClintock

(0,1,4) = 6 pts

tax day--

even the crows

bicker

C.P. Harrison

(0,0,6) = 6 pts

**Startling to see our human failings reflected in nature, isn't it?

cold front

she ladles the soup

in silence

Tom Painting

(0,0,6) = 6 pts

bathroom mirror

my teen taking her time

finding herself

Tom Painting 

(0,0,6) = 6 pts

**Many parents feel frustrated with the amount of time their daughters spend in the bathroom, "primping." This parent, though, gives his child—with great kindness—the space to do the important and difficult work of adolescence.

**Those early years are certainly ones of searching – the challenge of being a teenager. 

I was surprised how many of these haiku dealt in a meaningful way with self discovery/exploration and human relationships. These must be something about the skies, space, and silence that urges us to reflect and search.

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5 Points

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rain drops

into the water

into the rings

Ben Gieske

(0,2,1) = 5 pts

your words

before you left...

craters on the moon

Polona

(0,1,3) = 5 pts

empty sleeve

flapping in the cold wind

a soldier returns

Jill

(0,0,5) = 5 pts

**The soldier feeling emotionally as empty as his sleeve and as cold as the wind. Loss depicted without being explained and without sentimentality—but with great compassion and impact. 

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4 Points

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summer satellites...

taking the time

to find myself

Michele L. Harvey

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

ring around the moon

my baby's lips

full of nipple

Iokua 

(0,0,4) = 4 pts

**I like the image of interrelated rings with this one.

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2 Points

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sparkling eyes

she throws her paper plane

toward the stars

Allison Millcock

(0,1,0) = 2 pts

betrayal -

this space between us

a black hole

Amicus

(0,0,2) = 2 pts

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1 Point

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wake

a rosary woven

in the atheist's hands

Tom Painting 

(0,0,1) = 1 pt

General Comments

**With every of these [free format votes] I actually mean - three!

**Thank you for a year of haiku writing, reading and enjoying. Well done, the organizers and participants!

**It is a pleasure to be able to read such beautiful haiku one more time.

**I was surprised how many of these haiku dealt in a meaningful way with self discovery/exploration and human relationships. These must be something about the skies, space, and silence that urges us to reflect and search.

**Great to read them all again. Wonderful images.

**Looking at the ones I've chosen, altogether they read as a very sombre sequence.

**Thank you for the opportunity to read this small volume of great winning haiku. As always, it is with difficulty that I cast my vote on only six of them. I wish I could make comments on my choices but it would only be based on how I feel and not on what makes a great haiku. And I believe that would not add to the merit they already deserve. I leave it to the more knowledgeable haijin who I hope will do so because with every haiku that strikes a universe of feeling and thought in a moment comes a kind of awe beyond words. Still, as perpetual pupils, we want to probe and learn the secret of that haiku.

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