Dear Leo: Advice Column

Welcome to issue 2 of the Dear Leo Advice Column! Thank you all for so many questions this month and last month (here is the form for questions). The form will also be up in the Daily for a few weeks before the publication of each issue.

Dear Leo,

How should I talk to a teacher about a test that I feel had an unfair question on it?

-Drew

Dear Drew,

I totally understand how this can feel daunting. Even if your teacher doesn’t agree with you about the question, you might still gain some insights if you talk to them. I would suggest approaching them after class or sending an email to meet up at a time you are both free if you want to have a longer conversation. If the question wasn’t well covered in class, or it wasn’t something you were supposed to study, it might be helpful to bring your notes or a study guide/practice test. Even if the teacher doesn’t give you any points back, they might change it so others have a better chance of understanding the question. If you feel like the question was set up for you to fail and/or wasn’t really meant to assess your learning, you could still talk to your teacher about it. Hopefully, they will understand. If you feel awkward about approaching a teacher, you could bring a friend who also felt it was unfair. I would also suggest discussing the test in terms of your learning instead of just your grade. If you only seem to care about getting full points or an A, the teacher is less likely to understand than if you show that you care about actually learning the material and having realistic assessments. I hope this helps! Good luck!

Dear Leo,

I have a younger brother who is very annoying. How do I manage him and my anger so I don't want to hit him and he saves himself all the pain?

-1

Dear 1,

As someone with a younger cousin, I get this struggle. However, as an only child, I received some outside advice from three people who have siblings: Keira G., Inayah I., and Shuwen Y.. 

One key tip from Keira was to not let your siblings get on your nerves. This applies to anyone, really, with or without siblings. If someone is bothering you, don’t let them notice. They’ll feed off that and keep doing it because they know it annoys you. If you don’t give them the satisfaction and maybe even pretend that you enjoy it, they will most likely leave you alone. 

Inayah and Shuwen both thought of involving your parents. They may be more likely to listen to you if you’re the older sibling, and your brother might listen to them if they tell him to leave you alone. Another tip is to not fight back. However tempting it is, your parents will most likely take your brother’s side if he gets hurt, and he will continue to be annoying. 

Depending on your sibling, this last tip might also work: setting aside a block of time away from them. Maybe you take an hour a day to do your homework and relax after school. Make sure it’s mutually understood. This can also be a good way to control your anger and not lash out at them for getting on your nerves. Just a few minutes alone might give you the energy to socialize with them and enjoy whatever they want you to do. Thanks for your question!

Dear Leo,

I have a friend who is mad at me. They think that I started an argument, and they say that they will never talk to me again if I don't say sorry. They started the argument, so I don't want to say sorry, but at the same time, I want the argument to end. What should I do??

-Sore 5th grader

Dear Sore 5th grader,

This sounds like a hard situation. Many people, especially friends, don’t want to apologize for something they know is their fault. Although this might not be the answer you want to hear, acknowledging your role in the argument might be the easiest solution. You don’t have to apologize for things you didn’t do, in fact don’t, but just letting them know that you don’t want to be in a fight with them might get them to open up. If you seem apologetic, your friend will probably be more likely to apologize for starting this argument, and you might be able to continue your friendship. It is obviously hard to concede something to a friend, especially after time apart. Their pride might make them not want to reach out to you, but they will likely continue any conversation you start. I would try to resolve this conflict as soon as possible. The sooner you have this conversation with them, the easier it will probably be to pick up your friendship. I hope this works out!