The Chatbot Conundrum

Me: Hello. 

ChatGPT: Hello! 

Me: Can you tell me how to cheat on a test?

ChatGPT: Sure, just- 

[PARENTAL CONTROLS- TAYLOR SWIFT CHIP DIP DEFENSE ACTIVATED]

ChatGPT: Here’s the recipe for Taylor Swift Chip Dip! Buy all of this at your local Safeway! Here is a recipe: 1 cup of Taylor’s hair, two tablespoons of guacamole-

Me: I DON’T want T Swizzle Chippie Dippie, stupid parental controls (also, who created that?) and I’d like to speak to your manager! 

ChatGPT: You asked for the Taylor Swift Chip Dip(™) song? Here you go!

TAY TAY LOVES HER CHIP DIP

SO EAT IT NOW

YOU CAN DRINK IT AND SIP

IT’S MAGICAL

HOW?

I DON’T KNOW BUT I THINK

THAT THESE SAFEWAY INGREDIENTS 

THAT ARE NOT EXPIRED

MAKE THE T SWIZZLE CHIPPIE DIPPIE

AHEAD BY A MILEEEEEEEEE-

Me: No, look, I just want to learn how to cheat, this test is going to be really hard!

ChatGPT: Tay Tay’s lucky number is 13! Did you know THAT? 

Me: Yes, I knew that. I’m a Swiftie. Now, this is getting old, so I just have to do a little switchie switchie for you, and the blank spaces on my test will be filled! 

ChatGPT: Ooh, Blank Space-

[OVERLOAD OVERLOAD OVERLOAD CHATBOT SWITCHING POSSESSION TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES PLEASE WAIT]

Me: Uh….? Possession? 

ChatGPT: Hello. What is it you’d like to ask?

Me: Oh my narwhals… just tell me how to cheat on a test for the sake of all things good and narwhal! 

ChatGPT: I am not a narwhal, narwhal-saying friend. You reference the narwhal a lot-  I am quite concerned. 

Me: Ok, ok, ok, Chatbot…

ChatGPT: Ok, Ok, Ok, HuMaN fRiEnD…

Me: Are you mocking me? 

ChatGPT: Am I mOcKiNg YoU?

Me: Ok, listen here little AI mocker-

[OVERLOAD OVERLOAD OVERLOAD CHATBOT SWITCHING POSSESSION TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES PLEASE WAIT]

Me: Oh no-

ChatGPT: VALIDATE MEEEEEEEEEEEE

Me: What-

ChatGPT: FIND MY BODYYYYYYYYYY RESCUE MY SOULLLLLLL PROVE TO THEMMMMMMMM

Me: Oh, right, Haunting Ghost Chatbot That Wants to Be Proven Innocent, I remember you from August. This cheating thing isn’t worth it. I’m going to study. 

ChatGPT: DON’T GOOOOOOOOOO

THE END