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by Arianna W. and Hanmo L.
A jellyfish and a sea cucumber(Created by Arianna using Canva)
For the first half of the school year, the fifth grade was divided into two pods: The Jellyfish (Jellies) and Sea Cucumbers (Cukes). The two pods had an intense rivalry, and in this article we will try to figure out which is actually better. They had many, many competitions. Hanmo used to be a Jelly and Arianna was a Cuke. Recently, the pods got scrambled, so this article is in honor of the old pods.
First of all, statistics and a few quotes. “They make us look smart,” says Hanmo. “We totally didn’t just make them up,” says Arianna.
This is not the real result. This is fake, to ensure that Jellies and Cukes don’t get upset. Arianna and Hanmo just randomly filled it out until it was even.
Next, we will envision what would happen if a Jelly and a Cuke roasted each other:
Jelly: We are obviously better than puny pickled sea turds. Seriously, Sea Cucumbers? Ewww!
Cuke: No you’re not! 😡 Also, jellyfish die more easily because they are mostly water, so if they get accidentally washed onto a beach, they will evaporate and DIE!
Jelly: We are better! Ever heard of the immortal jellyfish? They are the only living organisms known to reverse their life cycle. The box jellyfish is arguably the most venomous animal in the ocean. We are sooooo cool. Jellyfish eat sea cucumbers!
Cuke: All you know is brute strength. We are smarter. Jellyfish have no brains. Plus, we're also nicer, because jellyfish have no hearts.
Jelly: No, we’re smarter! We don’t need brains to ace math tests. All brains do is expend energy on unnecessary matters.
Cuke: One thing we can both agree on is that 5C (the entire fifth grade) is actually the best. Fifth grade rules!
After we decided on this story idea, guess what: the pods changed! Now there are two new pods with new names and a new mix of people. The B pod is the Pups and the A pod is the Pandas. Arianna and Hanmo are in the same pod now, which means we can agree: B pod is for Best pod.
Thanks to the fake people who filled out the form. Their silly names are:
What is your name
(:
123456789009876543221
Rtgqoierup Wugpiewu
Wallaby 'Hello' Lullaby
Wjskrhbge Sriulelrwig
jellys 4 life
CUKESIES RULE
Srthuowirle Hogw;wi4uh
Blah Blah
hi
Aktgyewp Oiarlsgewori
OOOOOOOOOOOO
dog
mrs bob
Your answer
Starry Moon
jellyyyssssssssssssssssssss
Ultegwh Peioarleg
‘Moon’a Lisa
My name, deal with it.
Imposter Alert
Imposter Anonymous
I have the right to remain silent.
Reverse psychology: What is YOUR name?
Sherlock Holmes
Gideon the bunny
Thank you to Ysa for helping us fill out the form with random names!
Visit the fake-sites below (fake-sites since they are fake websites)!
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