Dear Leo: Advice Column

Welcome as always to the Dear Leo Advice Column! Here is the form to ask for advice :)

Dear Leo,

I got at least two 3-point questions wrong on my math test, which gave me a bad score. My older sibling is always saying how I need to get into the next really good math class because they did, and it'll be more work later on if I don't. Also, I don't wanna practice my instrument for an hour a day!! It takes up so much of my time, and it's just so boring!!

-Younger Sibling

Dear Younger Sibling,

I can see how pressured you feel! Even though everyone says this, I would still remind you that one bad score on a test doesn’t determine your grade or who you are. Even if you get a bad grade, it doesn’t mean that you won’t get into a more advanced math class. Your teacher is probably also looking for how well you understand the material in class, not just your test grades. They understand everyone has bad days. 

If you feel like your sibling is making it harder to succeed in class because of all of the pressure that they put on you, maybe remind them that their pressure doesn’t actually help you get into the next class. You’ll still learn a lot in whatever class you take, and you shouldn’t make your placement a super big deal. You don’t have to always take the harder class to feel more validated in your abilities, and you don’t have to excel in math if you don’t want to. If you’re actually interested in taking a more advanced class, you can keep prioritizing math, but you don’t have to. If you’re interested in something else, it’s okay to not take the “better” class. 

While your sibling might think that not taking the advanced class makes it harder later on, I wouldn’t necessarily agree. You will be learning many of the same things in both classes. You can also always use something like Khan Academy if you want to get more advanced, and there are also many extracurricular course options. 

As for practicing your instrument, I totally get you. Especially as you go through music, teachers and conductors will expect you to practice more and more to improve, something many people don’t have a lot of time to do. While I can’t help you reduce your practice time, it might help you enjoy practicing more could be to start with a piece you like or learn something you’ve always wanted to learn. You can ask your teacher if you already have a piece in mind or if there are other pieces that you might like more. Learning something that is both challenging and interesting might help you enjoy your practicing a bit more. If your instrument just isn’t something you enjoy doing under any circumstances, you could consider taking a break or just quitting your instrument. Taking a break might seem more reasonable to your parents, but if you don’t want to play your instrument anymore, you shouldn’t have to. Instead of trying to do as many things as possible, you can spend more time focusing on what you want to and not force yourself to continue on your instrument. Hope this helps!

Dear Leo,

I like this person and they liked me last year, but now I still like them and they might like someone else… what do i dooooo?

-Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

This seems stressful! Especially in middle school, relationship and friendship dynamics can seem really overwhelming. I would assure you, though, that whatever ends up happening with crushes and relationships now will probably not have an impact on your future. There’s plenty of time to date, and middle school is still really early. You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, and you shouldn’t feel any pressure to date or have relationships. If you do really like this person and you feel like you’re ready for a relationship, start by spending some more time with them. Meeting up outside of school can be a good way to get to know someone better, and even if they don’t reciprocate any feelings towards you, hopefully, you can still be friends. I hope this works out for you!