Crazed Swifties Review The Tortured Poets Department

“Bygones will bygones, eras fading into gray.” During the 66th Annual Grammys in February, the world shook when Taylor Swift announced the release of a new album on April 19, to be called The Tortured Poets Department. Or, TTPD for short. 

This gray-hued album had people restless for its release after so much had happened to Taylor these past couple of years; millions across the world sat and listened to hear the international superstar's insight about her breakup with long-term boyfriend Joe Alwyn, relationship with Matty Healy, and her new romance with Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce. The fans were ready to cheer, the haters were ready to hate, and Spotify was ready to crash. 

But, two days before its release, the album was leaked. On X, hackers were spreading the unreleased album, calling it trash, and spreading other hateful messages in the hope of denting its success: little did they know, Taylor would get the last laugh. 

The album was an immediate success, becoming Spotify’s most-streamed album in a single day in only 12 hours. But, two hours after the release of The Tortured Poets Department, she decided to surprise-drop 15 more songs, titling this release The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology. The hackers never even knew The Anthology existed. Nobody did. As a result, the songs were never leaked. Swift ended the night with a total of 31 songs. 

TTPD only exploded from there. While the hate for the album never stopped on X (mainly from fans of artists that Taylor had surpassed, such as Beyonce, Ariana Grande, etc.), Swift continued to win. TTPD was the biggest album debut on Spotify ever, with nearly 1.18 billion streams in the first week. In the first week of May, Taylor held every top-ten spot on the Billboard Hot 100 -- the only other time this has happened was during the release of her album Midnights. 

But does the album deserve all of its hype? Today, your two favorite senior Swifties will dive into some main album and anthology tracks to see if this album is a bop or just puts the “torture” in “The Tortured Poets.” 

The Tortured Poets Department - Reviewed By Emma S.

"The Tortured Poets Department"
How could we talk about The Tortured Poets Department without mentioning “The Tortured Poets Department?” From the start, the beat of the song had me excited to listen, and the first two lines had me absolutely hooked: “You left your typewriter at my apartment/straight from the Tortured Poets Department.” The rhyme was so clean, crisp, and satisfying. 

What drew me to this song was its generally more upbeat, in-love vibe – something hard to find in a sad and heartstring-tearing album like this. I love the contrast between delusion and sudden realness in this song. The line, “You’re not Dylan Thomas, I’m not Patti Smith/This ain’t the Chelsea Hotel, we’re modern idiots” felt relatable for a dreamer and rom-com lover like me. Who wouldn’t want to be living in a movie?

I have to say, my favorite part of this song is the end of the bridge, where she says, “At dinner you take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one/People put wedding rings on and that’s the closest I’ve come/To my heart exploding.” It gives me the chills every time. The emotion conveyed in just these three lines shows just how in love she was and can make anyone just as giddy.

All in all, if you’re looking for a squeal-worthy love song and a daydream to fall into, give this one a listen!

"Florida!!!"

I wasn’t sure what to expect about this song because of the oddly happy title “Florida!!!," but I was pleasantly surprised. Being a song about escaping and getting away from real life, it aligned perfectly with what this album gave me: a way to transport to different worlds and put yourself in the shoes of others. 

Florence + the Machine was the perfect guest  on this song, providing unique vocals to layer on top of Taylor’s, making the song much more interesting. The combination of their voices, the ping-ponging of lyrics, and the booming, intense beat was a total sensory immersion and is absolutely stuck in my head. Additionally, the lyrics, “Little did you know your home’s really only a town you’re just a guest in/So you work your life away just to pay for a time share down in Destin” were not only excellent rhymes, but also left me feeling a little foreboding. Home is usually a comforting place, but these lyrics make home feel so much less significant and more pessimistic, which was refreshing, poetic, and revealing, especially for an optimistic person like me. 

If you want a song that will transport you from reality, giving a full sensory experience, I could not recommend this song more. 

"I Can Do It With A Broken Heart"

The contrast in this song had me gobsmacked: the energetic, somewhat happy beat compared to the absolutely raw and depressing lyrics really resembled how Taylor has to present herself to the media. I’m no pop-star, but the idea of having to smile through the pain and pretend you’re ok really stuck with me throughout this catchy song. At every Eras Tour performance, she steps out on stage and gives 200%, flashing a picture-perfect smile every time. I witnessed it firsthand. But as a loyal Swiftie, this harrowing situation she’s going through makes me so upset for her, and also a little bit concerned that she was feeling deeply broken this whole time. “All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting ‘more!’/I was grinning like I’m winning I was hitting my marks/‘cause I can do it with a broken heart.” She really put us in her sparkly high heels through this song, and as it progressed, I broke down with her. Hearing the anger, spite, and pain in her voice combined with vulnerable lyrics made this song so much more than a normal, repetitive pop song she’s always accused of creating. Not only is this song a total bop, but it’s a revealing glimpse into her life and emotions, which is what I love about her music: she’s always real with us.

The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology - Reviewed By Mesgana A.

"The Black Dog" 

As the first track on The Anthology, this song sets a strong start to the double album, both sonically and lyrically. So, three words. Raw, beautiful, and PRODUCTION. The shaking in her voice as she delivers the bridge of a devastating track; the lyrics painful, yet honest. Swift forces us to endure the pain alongside her -- a wonderful yet heartwrenching experience. Jack Antonoff, Taylor’s infamous producer, proved me wrong. Usually, I think Antonoff has a special talent for making all the songs he touches sound the same, but his production on this track amplifies the emotion so well, and complements it amazingly. The loud, hard-hitting sound effect when Swift shouts, “Old habits die screaming” plays in my head on repeat. With something as simple as a striking electric guitar, Swift and Antonoff managed to create a sense of understanding that wouldn’t have been possible without it. That is production, and it’s how I feel about nearly every song on The Anthology. 

"So High School" 

As a sucker for 2000s romance movies, So High School was right up my alley. Swift compares her current relationship to something of a high-school romance, with writing like “Truth, dare, spin bottles,” and “Are you going to marry, kiss or kill me?” describing these games as though she’s still young. From the nostalgia-inducing melodic guitar to the light-hearted lyrics forcing me to reminisce about a teenage love I’ve never experienced, this song provides an intoxicating sense of euphoria. It is a feeling that constantly forces me to return to this track; if you love romance, this is the best song on the album to find it.

"I Hate It Here"

"I Hate It Here" was the first track that made me realize that The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology, was folklore (Taylor’s 2020 album) reincarnated, which is essentially why it became my favorite song on the album upon my first listen. I’m sure she had me in mind when writing this song because it’s a scarily accurate narration of my life. As an avid daydreamer (and book reader), I heavily resonated with her evocation of escaping reality. She spends hours lost in her mind, entering realms where anything she says goes, singing, “I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind.” The serene instruments accompany her lamentations, sending me (and hopefully you) into a calming, yet understanding trance.