Absurd Humor for Bored People

WORDPLAY

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?

Why are shipments in cars and cargo on ships?

An apple a day keeps anyone away as long as you throw it hard enough.

If life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

YOUR ALIGNMENT FOR TEN GRAND

Need help deciding on your D&D character’s alignment? Consult our completely foolproof test. To determine it, choose a combination of 1s, 2s and 3s. They should form a sentence. Pick the combination your character would most likely say, and your alignment will be at the end.

PS: If you get a “?”, try again. Your character is smarter than that. Maybe try something that doesn’t include a dumpster.

PPS: This is for humor purposes. You can use it for a goofy D&D campaign, but for a serious one you should use a credible online test.

1. 1. I’ll call the police if you…

      1. Receive $10,000 from…

         1. Charity. Neutral Evil

         2. A dumpster. ?

         3. A villainous organization. Lawful Good

      2. Steal $10,000 from…

         1. Charity. Lawful Good

         2. A dumpster. ?

         3. A villainous organization. Lawful Evil

      3. Give $10,000 to…

         1. Charity. Neutral Evil

         2. A dumpster. ?

         3. A villainous organization. Lawful Good

   2. I’ve always wanted to…

      1. Receive $10,000 from…

         1. Charity. True Neutral

         2. A dumpster. Chaotic Neutral

         3. A villainous organization. Neutral Evil

      2. Steal $10,000 from…

         1. Charity. Chaotic Evil

         2. A dumpster. Chaotic Neutral

         3. A villainous organization. Chaotic Good

      3. Give $10,000 to…

         1. Charity. Neutral Good

         2. A dumpster. Chaotic Good

         3. A villainous organization. Chaotic Evil

   3. It’s a bad idea to…

      1. Receive $10,000 from…

         1. Charity. True Neutral (although you’re kind of weird)

         2. A dumpster. True Neutral

         3. A villainous organization. Lawful Neutral

      2. Steal $10,000 from…

         1. Charity. Lawful Good

         2. A dumpster. Lawful Neutral

         3. A villainous organization. Lawful Evil

      3. Give $10,000 to…

         1. Charity. Neutral Evil

         2. A dumpster. True Neutral

         3. A villainous organization. Neutral Good

There may be repeats in the quiz.