How to Define a Woman

“But what is woman? Only one of nature's agreeable blunders.” - Abraham Cowley.

A mistake. Women are a mistake, made only for the benefit of men, right? We are stuck to a strict definition, and if we fail to meet it, then we are worthless. How are we supposed to live in a world that women can never measure up to? One where every misstep is calculated and we’re constantly objectified and forced against each other?

I discussed this with Meredith Walker, movie producer and Executive Director/Co-founder of Amy Poehler's Smart Girls, a huge advocate for women’s rights. As I first sat down with her, she explained how, from a young age, she had been taught to reject such bounds.

“It probably started with my parents. My mom did the taxes and my dad cooked dinner. So I grew up knowing that it didn’t necessarily look like what you would see on TV. But, unfairness and injustice just fired me up. That’s what got me going.”

Many of us are not so lucky; we’ve been exposed to these stereotypes since we were born. In fairy tales or Disney movies, the storyline often follows the “damsel in distress” trope. This stigmatizes a woman’s strength and power both in and out of ​​the story.

To this point, Meredith said, “Why are we always teaching girls how to stay safe from attacks by men for the most part? ‘Don’t dress a certain way,’ ‘Don’t walk by yourself here,’ ‘Don’t do this...’ How about we teach the men not to do it?”

Hearing this was incredibly liberating. Just because I am a woman automatically throws me in the way of more danger. If a man glances or smiles at me, even though it may seem like a small gesture, it makes me go into a panic. It’s absurd that women have to have this underlying fear constantly pecking at their brains. Women would feel a lot safer if men were not only educated on how violating it is to assault someone but also made more aware of the burden women carry because of their bodies.

Meredith gave me another example of the issues surrounding women’s rights. “The last presidential administration made me really sad because of the way that the leader of the country talked about and degraded women, rating them on a scale from 1-10 on how ‘hot they were.’ Not only are children hearing that, but they are watching their parents be like: ‘That’s my guy.’ The way he talked about women normalized it. It makes other men and boys think that it’s okay to talk about women and girls that way, but there are so many young people who are aware and informed who can help us move forward instead of sliding backward.”

After covering her hopes for the future of women’s rights, I asked for her advice on how to conquer stereotypes. She explained: “Stereotypes put us all in a box about how we’re supposed to look, act, live, what our family is supposed to look like, how we earn a living. It’s worth asking, ‘Who decided that?’ It’s definitely worth questioning. Always be skeptical about stereotypes.”

She then shared with me the inspiring story of Ann Richards, the former governor of Texas. On the bridge Ann Richards had to cross to get to her inauguration, she had a formation of people surrounding her to represent the diversity she wanted to bring. There were people of different races, ethnicities, ages, genders, and abilities. Ann among other role models helped spark Meredith’s career

In the end, Meredith helped me understand that women’s rights aren’t just centered around recognizing the stereotypes we face but finding a way to conquer them. That is the only way we can face the fact that “woman” isn’t a set definition. “Woman” is whoever we can and want to be.