Escorts: What You Need to Know
I found an interesting website that describes how to hire an escort (the sex addict's preferred term for a prostitute). For the wife of a sex addict, this helps us to picture what our partner is doing and how he rationalizes it.
You may find this information shocking or disgusting. This is about coming to grips with reality. THIS is what you're dealing with.
The author of this website, Marc Perkel, sees sex as a service or a transaction, not as a relationship. He doesn't want the complication of relationship. He just wants to get laid, and he explains to other men exactly how to do just that.
A few excerpts:
"Hiring a sex professional is the same as hiring any other professional, like a doctor, lawyer, or auto mechanic. You pay them money for a service. It doesn't matter what the service is: if you're nice to the professional, you generally get a better result than if you aren't. I treat sex professionals the same way I treat other professionals I hire. And like other professionals in my life, these women treat me as a valued customer and may even become friends of mine. They look forward to seeing me again, the same way any other professional likes to see their good clients come around."
"Escort services offer a variety of companionship, from just someone to talk with to someone to have sex with. The women who work for these agencies make a living at their jobs just like women who have other jobs do. So, yes, they are doing it for the money. But that's just their occupation. When you hire a mechanic to fix your car, the mechanic is doing it for the money too. It's the same thing. Your mechanic may be your friend as well and he may enjoy working on your car because you're a good customer. The same kind of relationship can be established with your escort. If you become a "regular," you will get to know each other and know what you like to do together -- and you will enjoy it more.
A lot of men have a real mental barrier about having to "pay for it." This is an artificial barrier because there's nothing wrong with paying for sex -- and there are a lot of advantages to doing so. Paying for it doesn't make you any less of a man.
Once you get over the "paying for it" barrier, you'll realize that it's really a bargain. What you get is good sex with a woman who generally is a lot better at it than the average "civilian" woman, without the cost and complications of free sex.
Free sex isn't really free. In order to get a woman to have free sex with you, you have to find someone who is attracted to you and wants to have sex with you. For most of us, this takes a lot of work.
If you go after a one night stand, then you're having sex with a stranger, just as you would with an escort. The woman you pick up for a one night stand is not really fucking you. She's just horny and you're just a penis provider. If you want to keep fucking her, then you're going to have to develop some kind of relationship with her.
If you start a relationship, you run into one of the biggest problems with free sex: You both have to want it at the same time. You can't just get it when you want it. And then you have to deal with "where is this relationship going," and how you feel about monogamy and marriage (Which I call "doing the "M" word"). Then there's the question of dealing with her friends, her family, her lawyer, her religion, her spending habits, her television preferences, her moods, her shrink, her astrologer, her dealing with your friends and family, and trying to adjust to each other's grooming habits, musical tastes, money, property, children, pets, ex-lovers, jealousy, anger, bullshit ... all this when all you really wanted was just to get laid.
Mr. Perkel goes on to describe how to hire an escort either through an agency or through online dating services such as AdultFriendFinders.com.
He describes the basic script for a date with an escort, how to prepare the romance, what will be discussed, what to say, how to handle the money, and even how to have sex with her, right down to lubrication.
"After you let her know what you want it's time to give her the money. She'll let you know what she expects and how to pay her. The best way is to lay it on a table and have her pick it up rather than handing it to her. It's a legal thing: You're not really giving her the money for sex. You're paying her for her time and tipping her because she is a beautiful and attractive woman. And this beautiful woman finds you irresistible as well and you are so attractive that even though she shouldn't, she just can't control her desires and can't resist having sex with you. You get the picture ..."
He says this to wives:
"Lastly, wives fear whores because they are "competition". If your husband is unfaithful, you need to fix your relationship and deal with why he wants to be unfaithful. Whores don't cause the problem. I would point out that if your husband is being unfaithful that he is better off doing it with an escort than his secretary or someone who is actually competition. So I say to the wives who are reading this, male midlife crisis is real. It's usually temporary. It's something you can work through. And it's no reason to get divorced or break up your family. If you catch your husband with an escort, talk to him, work it out, and don't break up your family over it. There's no point in giving everything you own to a couple of greedy lawyers over a sexual indiscretion that is fixable."
My response: Mr. Perkel has never been married. He's a great one to give advice to a wife! Anyway, his blaming the wife for the husband's infidelity is a wonderful example of gas lighting.
