Cycle of Addictive Behavior

Interesting article on the behavior cycle of your addict from AForeverRecovery.com

What Happens in Sexual Addiction

Sexual addiction does not generally begin with someone’s first sexual encounter, but rather manifests itself later in life when triggers of past trauma or personal struggles become overwhelming for the individual. Classified as a compulsive disorder, much like obsessive compulsive disorder, sexual addiction is not all about sex, but more about the compulsivity and ritual surrounding the sexual act. The types of behaviors associated with sexual addiction are widely varied, but there is a cycle of sexual addiction that consists of five stages.

Pain (not pictured)

As with most every addict, regardless of the subject of their addiction, there is often some form of pain that lies beneath the surface of a sex addict. This pain can come from most any source, such as past trauma, guilt from transgressions, stress, or anxiety. Pain, whether its source is recognized or not, can be the catalyst for a multitude of problems and emotional difficulties. When a sex addict feels pain, a desire for escape and/or relief becomes stronger.

1. Fantasy

   1. Once a sex addict feels pain and desires to escape it, he or she will begin to fantasize about how to escape through means of acting out a sexual desire. This process disconnects the addict from reality to increase the sensibility of easing inner turmoil with sexual acts.

2. Ritual

• 1. The ritual stage is one in which a sex addict begins to physically take action to fulfill his or her fantasy. This may involve driving around aimlessly, flipping through an adult magazine, watching pornographic movies, or surfing porn sites throughout the internet. This is a particularly important phase because once a sex addict has begun the ritual phase, it’s usually too late to turn back and not perform the sex act.

3. Acting Out

• 1. This is the point at which the sexual act takes place. After pain, fantasizing about escaping the pain, and performing the rituals in preparation for the sexual act, the time finally comes for the sex addict to fulfill his or her sexual desires. These sexual acts can be anything, and may range from picking up prostitutes, to chronic masturbation, exhibition, and anonymous sex.

4. Shame and Guilt

• 1. Once the sexual act has been fulfilled, a sex addict goes through a period of feeling guilt and shame about what he or she has done. Knowing the dangers, destruction, and unmanageability of one’s actions is not enough to stop the cycle of sex addiction. The shame and guilt experienced by a sex addict once the high of his or her actions has worn off only exacerbates the first phase of this cycle, which is pain.

The cycle of a sex addict is very similar to that of most every addict. The underlying pain prompts a desire for escape, which leads to fantasies of acting on the subject of one’s addiction. Once the fantasy of escapism through the addictive behavior is in place, the routine begins. For a drug addict or alcoholic, the routine may be the procurement of the substance of choice. For one who is addicted to cutting, the ritual might be the process of obtaining a cutting instrument. And after the ritual, is the acting out of the addictive behaviors, then without fail, there is shame and guilt after the “high” of the action has worn off.

This is a diagram of the cycle, slightly different descriptions.