Many of our sexually addicted partners suffer from comorbid (multiple) addictions and mental disorders. I agree with JoAnn Russell, who previously ran MarriedtoaSexAddict.com, Sisterhood of Support online support group, and wrote an ebook about the link between personality disorders and sexual addiction.
In the early phase of discovery, when your addict may be more compliant and willing to get help, I would suggest a wife firmly request – as a condition of continuing the marriage – a full comprehensive psychiatric evaluation with access to the results. In no way should you indicate you suspect any personality disorders, or accuse him of being mentally ill. Suggest this with sympathy for his own health and well-being, but be firm. This is a good boundary to set. If he wants the marriage to continue, he needs to do this.
If he is diagnosed, you want to make sure to get that documentation because you may well need it later.
[From Ohio State University Wexler Medical Center]
A comprehensive psychiatric evaluation may be necessary to diagnose any number of emotional, behavioral, or developmental disorders. An evaluation of a child, adolescent, or adult is made based on behaviors present and in relation to physical, genetic, environmental, social, cognitive (thinking), emotional, and educational components that may be affected as a result of the behaviors presented.
Many times, families, spouses, or friends are the first to suspect that their loved one is challenged by feelings, behaviors, and/or environmental conditions that cause them to act disruptive, rebellious, or sad. This may include, but is not limited to, problems with relationships with friends and/or family members, work, school, sleeping, eating, substance abuse, emotional expression, development, coping, attentiveness, and responsiveness. It is important for families who suspect a problem in one, or more, of these areas to seek treatment as soon as possible. Treatment for mental health disorders disorders is available.
The following are the most common components of a comprehensive, diagnostic psychiatric evaluation. However, each evaluation is different, as is each individual's symptoms and behaviors are different. Evaluation may include the following:
description of behaviors present (i.e., when do the behaviors occur, how long does the behavior last, what are the conditions in which the behaviors most often occur)
description of symptoms noted (physical and psychiatric symptoms)
effects of behaviors/symptoms as related to the following:
work performance
school performance
relationships and interactions with others (i.e., spouse, co-workers, family members, neighbors)
family involvement
activity involvement
psychiatric interview
personal and family history of emotional, behavioral, or developmental disorders
complete medical history, including description of the individual's overall physical health, list of any other illnesses or conditions present, and any treatments currently being administered
laboratory tests, in some cases (may be used to determine if an underlying medical condition is present), including the following:
blood tests
x-rays - a diagnostic test that uses invisible electromagnetic energy beams to produce images of internal tissues, bones, and organs onto film.
educational assessments
speech and language assessments
psychological assessments
It is natural, and quite common, for spouses and family members to question themselves when it becomes necessary for a loved one to be psychiatrically evaluated, and may have many questions and concerns as to his welfare and emotional well-being. Common questions frequently asked include the following:
What is wrong with my spouse?
Is he abnormal?
Did I do something wrong in my relationship with him to cause this?
Does he need to be hospitalized?
Will he require treatment?
Will he "outgrow" or stop performing these behaviors at some point?
Is this just "a phase" he is going through?
What will treatment cost?
Where do we go for help?
What does this diagnosis mean?
How can my family become involved?
Once a diagnosis is made, family involvement and active participation in treatment is extremely important for any individual with a mental health disorder. The physician will address questions and provide reassurance by working with you to establish long-term and short-term treatment goals for your loved one.