Cluster B Personality Disorders

As we recover from the trauma of our partner's sexual addiction and compare notes with other people who have walked in our shoes, some some of us see our addicts displaying behaviors that look like personality disorders. It becomes particularly noticeable in the process of separation and divorce.

These behaviors seen frequently in the sex addict include:

• impulsive behavior

• instability of moods

• manipulative behavior

• lack of empathy

• lack of remorse, guilt or shame (but may put on a good show of fake emotions)

• gaslighting

• compulsive lying, and seeming to actually believe the lies

• shifting blame, inability to take responsibility

• lack of conscience

It seems our sexually addicted spouses tend to display the attributes of Cluster B. Cluster B's are notoriously difficult to deal with in court (just try to divorce one!) and are also known as High Conflict People (HCP). My therapist believes my husband has elements of all four of the personality disorders described below, although he is (understandably) unwilling to undergo evaluation to diagnose these.

What is a Personality Disorder?

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-IV), a personality disorder is an "enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that:

• deviates markedly from the expectation of the individual's culture,

• is pervasive and inflexible,

• has an onset in adolescence or early adulthood,

• is stable over time, and leads to distress or impairment."

According to a study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, an estimated 30.8 millions American adults experience symptoms of at least one personality disorder (PD). There are three "clusters."

• Cluster A - Odd or Eccentric Disorders (Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizotypal)

• Cluster B - Dramatic, Emotional, or Erratic Disorders (Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, Narcissistic)

• Cluster C – Anxious or Fearful Disorders (Avoidant, Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive)

Info on Personality Disorders from Mayo Clinic

Types of personality disorders are grouped into three clusters, based on similar characteristics and symptoms. Many people with one personality disorder also have signs and symptoms of at least one additional personality disorder.

Cluster B personality disorders

Cluster B personality disorders are characterized by dramatic, overly emotional or unpredictable thinking or behavior. They include antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. It's not necessary to exhibit all the signs and symptoms listed for a disorder to be diagnosed.

Borderline personality disorder

• • Impulsive and risky behavior, such as having unsafe sex, gambling or binge eating

  • Unstable or fragile self-image

  • Unstable and intense relationships

  • Up and down moods, often as a reaction to interpersonal stress

  • Suicidal behavior or threats of self-injury

  • Intense fear of being alone or abandoned

  • Ongoing feelings of emptiness

  • Frequent, intense displays of anger

  • Stress-related paranoia that comes and goes

Narcissistic personality disorder

• • Belief that you're special and more important than others

  • Fantasies about power, success and attractiveness

  • Failure to recognize others' needs and feelings

  • Exaggeration of achievements or talents

  • Expectation of constant praise and admiration

  • Arrogance

  • Unreasonable expectations of favors and advantages, often taking advantage of others

  • Envy of others or belief that others envy you

Antisocial personality disorder

• • Disregard for others' needs or feelings

  • Persistent lying, stealing, using aliases, conning others

  • Recurring problems with the law

  • Repeated violation of the rights of others

  • Aggressive, often violent behavior

  • Disregard for the safety of self or others

  • Impulsive behavior

  • Consistently irresponsible

  • Lack of remorse for behavior

Histrionic personality disorder

• • Constantly seeking attention

  • Excessively emotional, dramatic or sexually provocative to gain attention

  • Speaks dramatically with strong opinions, but few facts or details to back them up

  • Easily influenced by others

  • Shallow, rapidly changing emotions

  • Excessive concern with physical appearance

  • Thinks relationships with others are closer than they really are