Addicts Run Treatment Programs?

I was perplexed initially, as I read about professional treatment programs and 12-Step Programs, that everybody wanted to label the spouse as a co-dependent. I couldn't understand why I should be required to admit that my life was out of control because of my addiction to ... being married to a sex addict? Hell, I wasn't addicted to it! I was disgusted by it, and as soon as I become aware of it I jumped into action to deal with it!

Over time, it's become clearer to me that (former) addicts have often developed and run the professional treatment centers. I've already mentioned that 12-Step Programs are run by addicts for addicts with no professional oversight.

It seems obvious to me sex addicts who have personality disorders would be inclined to shift blame. ("See, she is a co-addict because she married me. Something must have been wrong with her to pick me!") So I am not surprised that most treatment programs try to shift some of the blame and the treatment to spouse/victims who they label as "codependents."

A treatment program - whether run by professionals or lay persons - is only as good as its leadership.

My experience of SA is that my own porn- and sex-addicted husband was given another addict to sponsor and put in charge of the group treasury before he had completed even the 1st Step. He'd never gotten to make amends with me, for sure.

A good example of an addict becoming a counselor is Mark Laaser. His wife's book, Shattered Vows, places more responsibility on the wife being forgiving than on the husband being accountable.

I chanced upon this ridiculous article about dating a recovering sex addict. I give you this as an example. I feel certain that ONLY a recovering sex addict would recommend that someone date a recovering sex addict!

http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/sex-addiction-recovery-dating-0524122/

If you meet a recovering sex addict, run, don't walk, in the opposite direction. The only person who should have a relationship with a recovering sex addict is another recovering sex addict. That way, when they contract venereal diseases, they can be equally responsible for the risk.