Relapse

For the partner of a sex addict, relapse is a reality we have to deal with. According to RecoveryRanch.com relapse in sexual addiction is "considered a normal element of the process as people work toward long-term recovery." Relapse is an "opportunity for a person to reevaluate what triggers their cravings for the behavior, and look again at the tools they have in place for effectively managing those cravings."

What this means to a spouse is that if you stay with a sexually addicted partner, you can EXPECT periodic relapse.

If your sexually addicted spouse's addiction is to sex with prostitutes and he relapses, your sex addict is encouraged to "take time to refocus on their healing and make their recovery an absolute priority. With acknowledgement of the relapse and a return to their recovery plan, a relapse during sexual addiction recovery can point toward a stronger future and an addiction-free life."

But where does his relapse leave you?

Relapse doesn't wipe out gains, but it negatively affects relationship

Here are some excerpts from Dr. Abraham Twerski on FreedomEveryday.org

The truth is that relapse doesn’t wipe out the gains recovering addicts have made. It’s important for people in recovery to keep this in mind.

Important Caveat: With respect to rebuilding one’s relationship with spouse or partner, things are different. Relapse often does wipe out the gains that have been made in restoring trust. That’s what makes this complicated: we have two issues that often get confused: recovery and relationship restoration.

Relapse back into addictive behavior destroys trust, and – in terms of the relationship – puts the relapser back at square one with his or her partner. But in terms of recovery – in terms of their growth, their well-being, the progress they are making in becoming a different person … relapse doesn’t destroy those gains. This is what relapsers – and their partners – need to remember.

Signs of Relapse

More from Dr. Abraham Twerski on FreedomEveryday.org

One way to be alert to relapse is to watch for addictive thinking. There are other manifestations of addictive thinking. Here are some examples:

• • A recovering person who begins exhibiting signs of impatience with the process has likely slipped back into the addict’s concept of time (gotta have it now).

  • Someone who claims not to need as many meetings because she is now in control is probably back into the mindset of “omnipotence.”

  • Someone wallowing in remorse may be regressing into shame.

  • Someone who reverts to rationalizing or projecting blame, or who becomes unusually sensitive to other people’s behavior, may be experiencing the hypersensitivity or self-righteousness of the addict.

  • Becoming morose or pessimistic can signal the depression or the morbid expectations characteristic of addictive thinking.

Any manifestations of these kinds of addictive thinking may be a prelude to relapse.

http://alcoholrehab.com/addiction-recovery/the-difference-between-a-slip-and-a-relapse/