Mistakes to Avoid in the First Year
by Margaret Stone
This is written by the wife of a sex addict with her thoughts on lessons she learned in the first year after discovering her husband's addiction. The chapters cover the common mistakes:
Recklessly Talking About It
Making Rash Decisions
Rushing Forgiveness
Demanding Explicit Details
Failing to Set Boundaries
Ignoring Your Instincts
Pain Mining
Trying to Control the Addict's Behaviors
Although I am past the point of needing this book, it sounds intriguing. If anyone has read it and found it to be helpful, I'm interested in your thoughts.
What I don't see here is: Failing to Seek Medical Help and Failing to Seek Legal Advice, which I consider absolutely essential.
My other comment is that our view of things changes a great deal through the years of recovery from the wounds of this trauma. This is written from the perspective of one year, which is only scratching the surface. Much of what I learned in subsequent years had to do with protecting myself and my children from the effects of the Cluster B Personality Disorder which was at the root of the sexual acting-out. The first year was really about getting through the shock and denial, and moving on to a place where my trust was in myself, not in him, his words, or his recovery.
