AdultFriendFinders & Other Hook-up Sites

In 2013, quite by accident, I found out about AdultFriendFinder when a relative tipped me off that she'd seen a seven-year-old sex profile pop up in an innocent Google search of my husband's nickname for himself.

I learned that AdultFriendFinder, founded in 1998, was the Number One website for sex addicts and prostitutes at that time. (The hacking of user databases in 2015 and 2016 may have negatively affected the popularity of AFF.)

There are plenty of other adult hook-up sites as well. Wanna know about the top hook-up sites? Read it here. In addition, you can peruse that website for information on How to Spot Online Hookers and Easiest Way to Get Laid. What we can learn on the internet!

Review of AdultFriendFinder:

"Adult Friend Finder offers a matching system for every fantasy, sexual want and gender you can imagine, including groups, swingers, exhibitionism, cross dressers, BDSM and email or phone fantasies."

"...users need to be aware that a larger-than-average number of users aren't looking for casual, no-strings sex on AFF, bur rather, they are looking for new clients."

My understanding from internet research is that 90% of AdultFriendFinders members are male. The female members are primarily freelance prostitutes (who prefer to be called escorts) looking for clients.

My Foray into AdultFriendFinder

In order to read my husband's full profile, I had to sign up for AFF and create a profile for myself. If you decide to "go there" and get a full picture, literally, of what your husband is probably into, I recommend you get yourself some sort of temporary or single use credit card, because there are stories of having a credit card abused by this site.

Be aware, AdultFriendFinder is pretty horrifying. Instead of face shots like you see on Match.com, you have many people posting nude or semi-nude photos of themselves. Their profiles give detailed information on their sexual proclivities.

I was easily able to find my husband's current profile in addition to the one that was seven years old. His photo was identifiable, and he used his correct birthdate and other personal information. (Later, when he knew I had accessed his profile, he changed his birthdate and other information, and eventually closed the profile, even though he continued to use his "handle" to sign in chats. More about that later.)

What was even more horrifying was the speed with which he contacted the profile I had created (which had no photo and a different birthdate) because I was in his zip code. With very little prompting, he gave me a plethora of information about himself and his desires, detailed information on our children, and exhortations for me to immediately come to his house and enter the unlocked door for a bottle of wine and hot sex. His communications were extremely graphic.

I asked leading questions, made screen shots of everything, and eventually asked him for a pic, to which he promptly responded with a fully nude photo. All of this was excellent documentation for my attorney in our divorce.

The Hub: AFF membership gets you into Many Adult Websites

There's more. One of the things I discovered about AdultFriendFinders is that once you have your log-in "handle," you can use it to sign in to not JUST the chat rooms on AFF, but also on a huge number of related adult websites. The list below is just the sites my husband actually signed into, and is by no means comprehensive.

The Trail of Log-ins

How do I know he signed into them? Well, that's another interesting thing.

Turns out if your husband has used a unique "handle" on his account, it's easy to Google the handle along with a date to find out which sites he's visiting. (Format: AFFhandle 1/1/2014) You can also Google the AFFhandle with no date and see what else comes up. It appears that the Google crawlers (aka internet spiders) track these chat rooms, and will let you know dates and times that a particular handle was logged into a particular chat room.

The Google search won't work if you have "SafeSearch" turned on on your computer. It will filter adult websites. Here's how to turn it off.

By the way, I used FireFox browser (you can open a New Private Window so that the history isn't saved) and Google search engine to gather this information. Bing and Yahoo crawlers do not pick this stuff up.

At least that's the way it is as I'm writing this. When I initially discovered this browser search "fluke," I was able to get months worth of log-ins. Later, it seems that the Google index only retained the information for about a week before it gets erased. It also appears to take the crawlers 24-48 hours to put the information on the Google index.

Latest update: I no longer search for the date. Just the handle.

With 18 months of logs to prove his addiction, I feel well prepared to enter divorce court.