Source: YouTube and Daily Mail
URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UO6S0KLe9X8
URL: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7761065.html
Date: 05/12/2019
Event: Emma Thompson: "there's a surprising amount of protein in the average household pet"
Credit: Extinction Rebellion, Daily Mail
People:
[Emma Thompson and Extinction Rebellion perform a mock weather forecast outside BBC Broadcasting House in London.]
Hello and welcome to the Extinction Rebellion extreme weather warning. For those of you expecting a habitable future, we've got some pretty gloomy projections for you. Climate crisis trends show an increased chance of warmer, wetter winters and hotter, drier summers, along with an increase in the frequency and intensity of extremes. Better wrap up warm, stockpile food and remember that there's a surprising amount of protein in the average household pet.
Looking ahead, we're on course to sail past our 1.5 degrees Centigrade target, putting us on track for long-lasting and irreversible change - stepping back, we can see the forest fires, acid rain, droughts and acidified oceans sweeping across our planet. Here in the British Isles we can brace ourselves for more and more complicated weather fronts, summer heat waves, early frosts, high winds and snow showers expected in all areas, due to the ongoing global heating.
General consensus does suggest that there's an imminent crisis forecast, but not for politicians who seem to think that this moist and fertile rain is ideal for a growing economy. As we move across the country, with severe flood warnings showing almost everywhere and a thick fog covering Westminster, it's an uneasy picture - expect crop failures, water contamination, damaged houses and ruined lives, and we'll see these persistent weather fronts continue to wreak havoc across the nation, albeit with one or two days of dry and settled weather - probably in May.
Moving in, taking a closer look at London, we see that 23 underground stations are at significant risk of flooding with 57 at high risk - these climate trends could bring chaos to the inner city with underground drivers being retrained as gondoliers. There are promising signs that the economy will stay afloat - thank you, Boris. Further north, we see more severe weather warnings showing here, here and all over the place, floods threatening schools, homes, ecosystems and water and power supplies, but of course that's no problem for those of you with second homes in Svalbard. Oh, the irony. Looking at the edges we can see an estimated 3000 kilometers of our coastline receding, although that's great news of the Tory heartland, which will soon be expecting sea views encroaching across the hills.
Taking a further look ahead to 2070, central England can be expecting 33% wetter winters and 57% drier summers, with up to highs of 5.8 degrees above today's temperatures. Further west that trend seems to continue to Northern Ireland, where we can expect up to 38% drier summers and 25% wetter winters. All in all, not a positive picture, strong signs showing that we should act now - 2050 is just too late.
Some positive patterns are beginning to show, with Extinction Rebellion rising in the north, south, west and east, demanding truth-telling, citizens assembling, Net Zero by 2025, rebels rising, more expected soon. All the signs are telling us "act now", but as [inaudible] chief adviser King Canute once said, never let a rising tide get in the way of a good election. Ha, ha, ha, ha, hilarious, and now back to the news! [Flings her notes up into the air to loud whoops from the climate activists.]