TEAM 3: MON - WITHDREW
CONTACT
cathycole0@icloud.com
I would like to:
COMMENTS
I received the email that you sent Bill Miller that was then forwarded to our MINT list serve. I am very interested in your project and would like to see we are a fit. One caveat, I do not and will not do Facebook of any kind so I don’t know how to give you available times. I reviewed the project page. I’m signing with my business address so you can review my website as a MI trainer.
I see an opening on the existing team 2 that meets Wednesdays; can you let me know the dates as this team is in progress? I want to make sure I can commit to the times.
Bio:
Cathy Cole, MSSW, LCSW is a retired licensed clinical social worker and President of cathycoletraining. Ms. Cole, an active member of the Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers, Inc. and a Certified MI Trainer, has provided training since 1995. Ms. Cole received her undergraduate degree from Winthrop University and her Masters of Science of Social Work from the University of Tennessee School of Social Work.
Ms. Cole is the creator of the MI video training series: Motivational Interviewing, Step by Step, www.psychotherapy.net and is the co-creator of Motivational Interviewing with Adolescents and Young Adults,www.psychotherapy.net.
Interest:
The power of really listening to and being listened to is so under-recognized. I’ve had participants in training tell me it feels like ‘having a mental massage’, they ‘feel validated/recognized’; they learn new things about themselves and their point of view by someone else listening and then providing reflections…..even if those reflections are not totally accurate, by hearing the reflection, the speaker gets the chance to further clarify and often go deeper.
I am concerned about how little we seem to be listening to each other now, how contentious many of our conversations can be and how rushed we seem with no time to settle in to listen. Truly listening requires accessing calmness in oneself, recognizing the natural critical/judgmental thoughts that arise in the mind, putting them aside to truly hear the other person and most importantly resisting the impulse to correct/try to change the other’s point of view.
This project has so much promise and I am truly eager and pleased to join all of you.
What are personal and/or social problems that you feel empathy can solve, and why?
feeling misunderstood and as if what is being said is not important; the belief that I have nothing in common with a person who seems different from me, particularly in the hot political arena.
On Styles and Approaches to Empathic Reflections.
As a aside from the conversation with the group, you possibly noted that I do reflections quite differently than others, leaving out almost all of the content of what was said. This comes from my MI perspective and training to be as succinct as possible to allow the other to speak more. However I am not sure this style is consistent with how you have experienced the effectiveness in empathy circles. I’d like your perspective. Cathy
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It’s helpful to look at the different approaches, aspects, etc for gaining clarity and effectiveness for building a culture of empathy.
The way I see the training, we start with the basic empathy circle and reflection and then develop the different forms of reflection over time. We start with the easiest reflection, that anyone can do. The basic peer to peer, empathy circle practice is high reproducible. People, groups, families, etc can implement the basics and get immediate benefit without extensive training and need for facilitators.
The book explains some aspects of reflection and goes deeper into it step by step. So it should evolve and get refined over time.
I would like to have step by step lessons/practices developed on the different forms of reflection. How to deepen and practice is what we need to develop. I think having succinct reflections is good, and it takes training and practice to get there. Learning to differentiating, observations, feelings, values, desires, needs doesn’t happen quickly. That’s what we are developing.
I wonder what your perspective on this is?
How long did it take you to develop succinct reflection skills?
How did you develop those skills?